Q&A: "What documents do I need to pee legally in North Carolina?"

[struggle4progress]

First, you need an original long-form birth certificate

You must be able to show that the restroom you choose matches the sex listed on your birth certificate. If you do not have an original long-form birth certificate, you should not pee in North Carolina

Second, you will need a current photo ID

You must be able to show that your birth certificate is actually yours. Therefore, you should have photo ID bearing a recognizable likeness of you and a name matching the name on your birth certificate. Acceptable photo ID includes a US passport, a state drivers license, or a gun permit. Student IDs are usually not acceptable. Mexican consular ID cards are not acceptable

Special conditions may apply if your name has changed

If you are a woman who has married since your original long-form birth certificate was issued, you should bring a certificated copy of your marriage license, showing your name and the name of your husband. If you subsequently divorced and remarried, you should also bring certificated copies of your divorce decree and second marriage license

If you legally changed your name for a reason other than marriage, please bring a complete triplicate copy of the legal proceedings leading to the name change together with your birth certificate whenever you enter a public restroom

If you are federal fugitive traveling under an alias, you may present a "wanted" poster together with your birth certificate, provided the wanted poster clearly lists the alias you are currently using

Should you have questions we have not answered, please feel free to contact Governor McCrory by email or by telephone at [phone]

[Downwinder]

1. Think I'll just stay away from NC.

Hope it does not catch on in other states. I might have to get a colostomy bag.

[csziggy]

2. Depends nt

[Downwinder]

4. Run around like cupid.

I see babies in public in diapers, are there age limits on diaper exposure?

Come to think of it, are there age limits on the enforcement of the NC law?

[moriah]

10. ROFL...

Sadly, it's not funny.

But that joke always gets the juvenile part of my terrible sense of humor.

[csziggy]

13. I of an age where I have to laugh about the use of the things

Though I don't yet absolutely need them, they can prevent embarrassment. So I joke about them more than I ever would have when I was younger.

Getting old sucks.

[moriah]

15. If you don't laugh, you cry, that's been my motto.

I prefer to laugh, but my sense of humor is... well, sometimes awful.

Fortunately my family appreciates the moments something absolutely terrible comes out of my mouth, but it DID make the people about to cry laugh instead...

Case in point: My father, who has now passed as well, was the only son of a single mother, and despite massive issues were very close as a result and when she died it tore him up. I was 21 at the time (Thanksgiving after 9/11), and because of his own issues I was the one paying for the funeral, making the arrangements, etc. I let him have his Irish wake, but I made him actually attend the funeral sober.

My grandmother had been a very large woman. It was relevant to funeral arrangements, to explain how large. She'd wanted to be cremated we knew so that was a relief, but the day we planned her service we had to pick up her cremains. My grandmother was in my lap. I could tell Dad was about to lose it.

What came out my mouth was, in a very old-fashioned, Southern voice like the ladies she'd always dieted with... "Why, Nanny, I swear this is the most effective reducing diet you've ever been on!"

He roared laughing. I still don't know where it came from, unless it was her.

[csziggy]

16. That is priceless! And probably just what your father needed

[moriah]

17. I hope so, I'm just grateful it was only the three of us present.

I have no proof that she was responsible for that remark in any way except her contribution to my genetic makeup, but I have wanted to believe she was using me for that purpose just then.

However, had her sister been there.... it would have been a "oh please let the filter work" moment.

[NightWatcher]

3. That's another reason why I prefer to just pee in public.

There's no signs on trees, bushes, sides of buildings, bus stops....

Are they gonna say that I can't do that anymore?

[moriah]

11. If guys in my state (Arkansas) were told they could no longer urinate outside, it might cause a riot

Even if their back porch is far less private, depending on just how rural you are, as the stall in most bathrooms.

[Stonepounder]

5. Hmmmm.....

Could I wait outside until a mother tried to take her toddler son into the ladies rest room and then insist that security arrest her? The law evidently doesn't have any age limitations. So, a toddler male going into the ladies (or, a new father taking his toddler daughter into the gents) would be in violation of the law.

[Alkene]

6. Autonomous solution:

[moriah]

12. We should start mailing packages to NC reps.

With the explanation that since the law they passed is going to cause a need, we are donating them for them to distribute them.

[gordianot]

7. I wonder what the approval ratings are for the politicians responsible for this horror?

Of course real sexual predators such as Dennis Hastert can pee in North Carolina.

[Jack Rabbit]

8. Let's take a page out of The Donald and the Birthers

How can one prove the birth certificate isn't a forgery?

Since most of us do not carry our birth certificates around with us, the must be some alternative form of identification showing the subject's gender-at-birth that could be used.

There may be an additional problem about a birth certificate of a person who was put up for adoption at birth and may not know where his actual birth certificate is located or what name was on it.

Also, what if the "wanted" poster does not list the alias that the subject is currently using? This kind of information could become outdated frequently, like as soon as the fugitive realizes the police know about the alias he was using until he saw the wanted poster listing it.

It should also be recommended to transgender citizens traveling through North Carolina bring dancing shoes, since it might take the authorities some time to review the subject's documents while he waits to be admitted to the proper restroom and the subject might break into a real jig.

[Quantess]

9. The stupid never stops.

[Zorra]

14. Everyone should just boycott all things NC until they end this exercise

in bigotry and stupid.