The Stranger Obtains a Secret Transcript of the Koch Brothers’ Auditioning of Republican Candidates

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

Pretty funny.

Lights up on SCOTT WALKER, TED CRUZ, RAND PAUL, MARCO RUBIO, and JEB BUSH huddled under one side of a large proscenium. They are auditioning for the role of Republican Jesus Christ Superstar. CHARLES and DAVID KOCH, who plan to spend $889 million on this election, approach the lectern. The crowd falls silent as the Koch brothers proceed to unzip their people suits and fuse into a two-headed jar of marshmallow fluff, their natural form.

Koch Bros: Good evening and welcome to this secretive billionaire summit. We all know why we're here: to witness five free-market gladiators battling it out for a chance to win a fraction of our inherited wealth. How about wealth, huh?

The crowd goes wild.

Koch Bros: First up will be Señor Rubio from Florida.

The Koch brothers take a seat on a throne made of Doritos.

Marco Rubio: It's Senator Rubio. Not Señor.

Koch Bros: You staying hydrated, RubeTube?

Marco Rubio: Damn it, guys. Stop.

Koch Bros: An elephant never forgets. (*wink*)

Marco Rubio: (to himself) I… I can’t do this. Not for these people.


Koch Bros: TALK. TALK NOW AND TALK PRETTY.

Marco Rubio: Fine. No one knows how old the earth is. I crave—yes, crave—to drink the actual blood and eat the actual flesh of Christ. Aaaaaaaand I think people should be able to bring their guns to work.

The crowd goes wild.

Koch Bros: Can you hear that?! Can you hear that?! That’s the sweet, sweet sound of our approval ratings doubling among Hispanics.

Marco Rubio takes a seat next to the Dorito throne.

Koch Bros: Up next, we have—

Rand Paul walks out wearing an Iron Man suit. He holds one fist in the air. Rocket fire shoots from his heels, and he blasts off into the sky and explodes. Then he crash-lands back onto the stage.

Rand Paul: If you elect me as president, I promise to abolish the Department of Education


-more-

http://www.thestranger.com/blogs/slog/2015/05/01/22119464/the-stranger-obtains-a-secret-transcript-of-the-koch-brothers-auditioning-of-republican-candidates

[Thinkingabout]

1. Funny but dont think this could not happen.

[freshwest]

2. Already been busted on a number of these meetups, some on video or recorded. Pledging fealty to

their Koch lords. One with Christie, and there have others with GOP candidates getting their marching orders from the Koches. Don't forget how the GOP campaign leader set up a meeting in a strip club that featured lesbian BDSM. Oh, yes, they will definitely go there.

They are ALL carrying out the EXACT SAME agenda revealed by Reid and Sanders, which I've posted here. The reference to Walker was really good, he's like a robot. Drop and dime in him and away he goes.

Obama knew of these meets and called them out years ago, along with Faux Noise. I wonder which came first, this piece or Obama's not-so-joking WHPC Dinner where he left no media venue off the hook. t I suspect this piece is an elaboration on that:

“I can’t wait to see who the Koch brothers pick.  It’s exciting. Marco Rubio, Rand Paul, Ted Cruz, Jeb Bush, Scott Walker, who will finally get that red rose?” ~ Barack Obama

I won't even post the cartoon posted her at DU on that theme. It fits them to a 'T.' The party of 'family values' rides again.

[Scuba]

3. Nailed it, especially Squat Wanker.