Obama signs executive order closing Congress

[KamaAina]

Not The Onion. Borowitz.

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/obama-signs-executive-order-closing-congress

In a historic Oval Office ceremony on Thursday morning, President Barack Obama signed an executive order closing Congress, effective immediately.

The President said that the move would dramatically increase the efficiency of the federal government, noting how much he had accomplished since he stopped working with Congress in November.

Additionally, he said, the elimination of Congress would result in annual savings of more than five billion dollars, which Obama said would be refunded to American taxpayers.

Acknowledging that “some sticklers” would argue that the Constitution calls for three branches of government, the President said, “All this order does is reduce that number by one.”

[NoJusticeNoPeace]

1. I knew he was about to do this, I think he is having all republicans arrested for treason tonite

In a just world, that would happen, would have happened the day after the party officially declared war on the american people which just so happened to be the same day Obama was elected

[FLPanhandle]

2. How many Teabaggers are going to take that at face value?

I suspect it'll be floating around on freerepublic soon as a fact.

[jmowreader]

28. They took the "Kenyan birth certificate" at face value

[AtomicKitten]

3. And a grateful nation approves.

K&R

[Ykcutnek]

4. They've effectively closed themselves.

Might as well make it official.

[world wide wally]

5. Two questions:

1) How can seemingly sane Americans (or Europeans for that matter) run off and join ISIS?

2) How can elected Democrats run off and vote with Republicans like on the Keystone Pipeline?

If you can answer both of those questions correctly, you should probably be more scared that I am.

[KamaAina]

6. And this has to do with Borowitz how, exactly?

[world wide wally]

20. Let me explain it then.

The Senate (congress) just passed approval of the Keystone Pipeline eith the help of Democrats.
Borowitz said that Obama wanted to eliminate Congress by executive order... And a thought flashed into my head on "why" these Dems would go along with Republicans on this.

Are you beginning to understand or should I explain more?

[rbrnmw]

40. it's satire you know fake news

[world wide wally]

46. I get it

and my questions were tongue in cheek

[lovemydog]

12. 1) I don't know

2) I don't know. Jobs for their constituents maybe? I'm against it. Maybe look up some reasons for it.

[Spitfire of ATJ]

25. I can answer both, "Neither are Liberals."

[unblock]

7. don't give them ideas! one man's satire is another man's think tank!

[stage left]

8. Too bad somebody can't shut Congress down.

They've been such busy little rodents since they took over the Senate. I liked them much better when they were doing nothing.

[Brother Buzz]

9. This will be interpreted as gospel truth in some circles.

Doors open at 7:30 p.m., trouble begins at 8:00 p.m. - Mark Twain

[treestar]

10. Bye Boner

[KamaAina]

11. Don't forget Yertle

[lovemydog]

13. Yertle the Turtle

[KamaAina]

14. a/k/a Mitch McConnell

[lovemydog]

15. lol

[aggiesal]

22. Try this one

Yuuuuup!

[forest444]

27. To avoid insulting our chelonian friends,

I'd go with McCocaine.

http://m.thenation.com/article/186689-mitch-mcconnells-freighted-ties-shadowy-shipping-company

[ybbor]

16. See!

He is really an Islamic, Kenyan, Socialist, Dictator!

[mountain grammy]

17. Thank you Andy Borowitz for my favorite headline of the day

maybe the year.

[AngryAmish]

18. Honestly, I understand it is humor but it needs to be done.

Fuck those assholes.

[philosslayer]

21. You're a fan of dictatorship?

[immoderate]

47. Maybe a fan of governing.

--imm

[forest444]

19. It would only be fair

since Congress has done nothing but try to shut down the Executive Branch for the last 4 years.

[kairos12]

23. Throw the Supreme Court in this executive order as well.

[DesertDiamond]

26. They're calling for smaller government - here it is!!

[IdaBriggs]

32. ^== This.

[treestar]

37. Hahaha

And it's not as if they care about Congress themselves. most of the are ignorant enough to want their POTUSes to have unlimited power, remembering Dubya and the unitary executive who should not be opposed in time of war. If ever.

[lordsummerisle]

29. Thanks

made my day...

[NBachers]

30. "I got it from here."

[Cha]

31. Oh man.. all that money they make for doing nothing but destroying our Country.. could so be put

to good use!

[cntrygrl]

33. Since Palin constantly goes on with her motor-mouth, making

statements on falsehoods, I can't wait for her to read that and hear what she has to say. We all know she will believe this. LOL

[iBoy2G]

34. I was so excited when I read that earlier

Till I seen it was satire I wish he really could close congress. Not like they're gonna do anything for the next two years anyway. Do we really need another 50 ObamaCare repeal bills? Poor Obama's gonna have a sore hand from all the vetoes!

[TBF]

35. If only ... nt

[Vinca]

36. Was it open?

[treestar]

38. Now that's a good question!

[marble falls]

39. You know Freepers will be quoting this as fact!

[Raine1967]

41. HAppy to be #100 to rec!

This is really funny stuff!

[Jim Lane]

42. And the next Executive Order will be the one canceling the 2016 election.

The Muslim socialist Kenyan impostor plans to install himself as President For Life, doncha know.

[cascadiance]

43. Is Dinesh D'Souza picking this up as a "news" article for his American Enterprise Institute blogs?

[KamaAina]

45. Ah yes, Distort D'Newsa.

[niyad]

44. one can dream.. .

[Paper Roses]

48. One can only wish!!! n/t

[lpbk2713]

49. If they were paid on the basis of their productivity ...

they would end up owing the Treasury money.

They aren't even worth what it costs to run the lights or the HVAC.

[valerief]

50. Can he can SCOTUS, too? nt

[kentuck]

51. Instead, he should just sue Boehner.

Take him to court.

[HappyMe]

52. They want smaller goverment,

cut out the pork -- okay, there it is.