Every dad with a daughter needs this shirt: (Updated)

[riqster]

[riqster]

8. Fixed. Thanks!

[MineralMan]

2. Hmm...

That's a lot of numbers to put on a shirt, I think.

Seriously, preview is always a good idea when linking to images on DU. Lots of them don't display.

[riqster]

3. I am replete with rue.

Trying to find another source.

[MineralMan]

5. LOL! I hope you can. I want to see this shirt.

[riqster]

7. Done.

[LeftofObama]

4. Hmmm.

If that's supposed to binary, you've got some extra numbers in there.

[riqster]

6. There are two types of people: those who get binary...

[n2doc]

9. That's fine, if she's an adult

If she is a child under my care, sorry, I don't agree with total sexual freedom for a 14 year old.

[riqster]

10. We didn't let ours date at that age.

15, yeah. But of course there was a whole other set of rules from their mother.

And those rules ruled.

[rock]

11. I've seen this clap-trap published on DU a six times before

and I held my tongue (thinking that it would go away shortly) and I apologize if you're not the one to have published it those times. But this is one time too many. I'm not going to stand idly by while conservative bullshit is propagated on DU.
Specifically:
1) The father (and mother) ARE the ones to make the rules. Use a little common sense.
2) Any kind of decent social relationship requires some co-operation.
3) Your daughter makes the rules?? What if she's (say) eleven? Do you even read what you publish?
4) What if she's not an adult and decides to have sex three times a day? So you're OK with that.
And finally, just whose rules are these (meta) rules? Oh yeah, the father's! Great model.

[PotatoChip]

13. There is nothing on that shirt that suggests the daughter is too young to consent.

I'm not sure why some folks on this thread are jumping to that conclusion. Common sense would suggest that he is not referring to anyone too young.

Jeez.

[rock]

15. Well now, don't you think if that's the case

it's important enough to mention in the rules!? Jeez indeed! If she's an adult why would the father have to publish a bunch of nonsense on his back? Is that where young men look for advice on dating one's daughter? Stop wasting my time with garbage comments or I'm gonna hafta get harsh with you.

[PotatoChip]

17. He's making a statement in solidarity w/the feminist movement.

Many people wear clothes that highlight their political/cultural leanings.

[rock]

18. Maybe I don't understand the point of feminist movement

Isn't it to avoid sexist bias and prejudice? I don't see how this relates since we ironically have a man attempting to make up the rules to cover his daughter!

[PotatoChip]

19. The first of the numbered 'rules' on his shirt begins with, "I don't make the rules".

All 4 of them make it clear that 'the rules' regarding her body are hers, and hers alone. That is the whole point of the message.

[rock]

20. Yes, that's very humorous

The first rule he gives up is hypocritical. Ha-ha. Although I think Barney of Mayberry is funnier. ("Obey all the rules!&quot .

[TransitJohn]

38. If the daughter is old enough to consent, who gives a fuck what her father's 'rules' are?

[oberliner]

49. The daughter (who is 20) bought the shirt for her father

And she posted the photo.

[riqster]

24. Burning Man must have had a lot of leftover straw this year.

[morningfog]

28. What difference do the number of times a day make?

[rock]

34. I'm game

Let's make it twelve times a day since number does not matter.

[morningfog]

35. If one is okay with their son or daughter being sexually active, what difference

does the number make?

I just don't understand your point, if you have one.

[rock]

37. It's just a number to give it a setting

It's as you say indifferent, so I chose something specific instead of saying "decides to have sex an unspecified number of times a day." Why are you so overly concerned with matters rhetorical?

[morningfog]

39. Not concerned, it just didn't make sense.

It still doesn't really. It seems to me, you would either be opposed to your son or daughter being sexual active or not.

[yodermon]

42. You do understand that he's MOCKING the very idea of "rules for dating my daughter"?

*This* is the type of shirt you're actually pissed about:

[oberliner]

47. The college-age daughter bought this shirt for her father and posted the photo

Not sure if that changes your take on things at all.

[libodem]

12. Nice if she is 21

I don't see dads' of 16 y/o's being so permissive. I hope he makes sure she is on the pill and is furnished with protection of condoms against std's.

I hope said daughter is emotionally mature enough to take on adult relationships in High School. Both young men and women have a difficult time after breaking up. It is like a mini divorce and some kids try suicide after the devastating loss.


Her body. Her mind. Her life. Education is key. Experience is over rated.

[alphafemale]

27. 21?

Someone should control a female's choices on sexual activity until 21?

Seriously?

I made sure my son and daughter had information on BC and the risks of STD even with barrier methods of BC. And that many forms of BC give only a degree of protection against pregnancy and none against STDs.

[cheapdate]

14. I have a teenaged daughter.

We talk as a family all the time. We talk over breakfast and opine on the letters to "Dear Abbey". We talk over dinner and dissect television advertisements and book and film plot lines. We talk in the car on our way to the used bookstore in Nashville (a weekly pilgrimage). My daughter talks about her friends, their relationships, her friend's parents, her teachers, etc.

I'm as confident as I can possibly be that she is prepared to make decisions on her own.

I can't count the times when she's been telling some story when I've been incredibly proud of her. She amazes me.

I don't need to wear a shirt to remind her of how to think, or to advise the friends she chooses of how to behave.

(on edit : not to say I disagree with this man and his shirt or it's message, just that I don't personally think I "need this shirt".)

[CBGLuthier]

16. Not being a control freak or under the delusion that I OWN my children this is how we

raised our two daughters and everything turned out fine. So yes, some dad's are that "permissive." Of course, it does help if your children are intelligent and you have given reasonably good advice to them.
But everyone raises their kids their way so do what you want with yours but do not condemn us or insist we do not exist because we raised ours our way.

[dickthegrouch]

21. I think there's one missing too

"If she changes the rules halfway through in a way that you don't like, TOO BAD, they're still her rules".

[Louisiana1976]

31. That's an excellent rule.

[Nye Bevan]

22. So if his 16-year old daughter announces her intention to have unprotected sex

with some sleazy guy who has a history of assault and drug convictions, because she "trusts him" that he is disease-free, this father would say "OK honey, your body, your rules"?

Nice parenting, Dad.

[riqster]

23. In most places, that would be illegal.

[davidn3600]

26. How about not treating your daughters any differently than you treat your sons?

I think a lot of parents become more overprotective of their daughters while letting their sons have more freedom.

For example, if you think 15 is too young for a girl to be dating someone....15 should be too young for your son to be dating as well.

[Louisiana1976]

32. Good idea.

[riqster]

41. That was indeed how we raised our kids.

[oberliner]

48. The daughter bought the shirt for the father in this case

For what that is worth.

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

29. If she's a minor, he'd better think about making some rules

His abandonment of her to her own devices as an inexperienced child might be of interest to child protective services.

[oberliner]

30. What are the rules for dating his son?

Does he (the son) get to make the rules in that case?

I'm not sure I understand why one person in the relationship gets to make the rules. Shouldn't the rules be mutually agreed upon by both parties?

[lumberjack_jeff]

36. "Rules for partying with my son"

1) there aren't any. I don't believe in the "guidance" and "rules setting" thing. My responsibilities as a parent are trumped by my desire to be seen as a hip and cool kind of dad.

[oberliner]

33. More thoughts on this shirt

Last edited Mon Aug 4, 2014, 12:55 AM - Edit history (1)

After learning more information about the people behind the shirt, the questions I raised are moot.

[H. Cromwell]

43. My shirts a bit different...

It says..
YES, I HAVE A BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER...
I ALSO HAVE A GUN, A SHOVEL AND AN ALIBI.

[stranger81]

44. What an awesome shirt! I love it.

Our daughter is only five, but I'm afraid my husband already has plans to show off his rifle collection to any of our daughter's potential suitors . . . .

[Nye Bevan]

57. Given that you love the shirt, presumably you would approve of your husband wearing it.

But not right now, when your daughter is only five..... agreed? That it would kind of send the wrong message?

So my question is, how old does your daughter have to get to before you would want your husband to wear this shirt?

[Nye Bevan]

45. Wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with large-font pronouncements concerning your daughter's sex life

actually strikes me as a bit on the creepy side.

This stuff belongs in private family conversations, not displayed in large typeface for the world to see.

[oberliner]

46. His daughter bought him the shirt for Father's Day and posted the photo on her tumblr

Does that change your feelings about it at all?

[Nye Bevan]

52. Not really, no.

A girl buying her father a present that alludes to her sex life? Seems a little...... unusual.

[BainsBane]

50. I have mixed feelings about this

While it's great in principle, some teenagers aren't prepared or self-assured enough to make those decisions. In my case, I wish I would have had more involved parents. So while it is likely great for this father and daughter, I don't know that every father should adopt this attitude.

[flvegan]

51. She makes the rules. I don't see the issue with the shirt.

[Nye Bevan]

55. The issue is, (1) if his daughter is a minor, he's abdicating the responsibilities of parenthood,

and (2) if his daughter is an adult, he is walking around in a T-shirt emblazoned with the very obvious statement that another adult's sex life is no business of his.

[LeftyMom]

77. I'm curious what the auto-removed troll post said,

if by chance it's visible in your replies or you saw it.

[bluestateguy]

53. Not if she is a girl under 18

A parent is well justified in making rules for their underage teenagers' dating lives.

And even if she is adult, is some guy assaults my daughter, I'll break his neck in cold blood.

[bhikkhu]

54. Depends on how old the daughter is, of course

My daughters are teenagers living at home. We talk about things a lot and I listen a lot, but there's rules, and they don't make them.

[Warren DeMontague]

56. 5. if you haven't outgrown wearing shirts with pithy sayings on them

You're probably not old enough to have a daughter this shirt would apply to.

[LuvLoogie]

58. I'm a dad; I have two daughters

That's a creepy shirt.

[riqster]

60. My girls are 22 and 30.

Not creepy at all, in our case. I think a statement of respect for their rights is a very good thing.

[Nye Bevan]

62. Wearing a T-shirt stating that a 30-year old adult's sex life is none of your business

would kind of seem to be stating the obvious.

[riqster]

63. Sad to say, there is no such thing as "obvious".

If there were, progressive and liberal politicians would long ago have helped create a just, fair, equal society.

[oberliner]

59. The daughter (age 20) bought the shirt for her father

And then she posted the photo on her tumblr on Father's Day.

Make of that what you will.

[GOLGO 13]

61. My house/My bills right? My castle. My rules.

We may live in a democracy in this country. But in my house I run a complete and divine autocracy.

My daughter is my princess. And I am capable of slaying any dragons that come looking for conquest. Yeah, I'm that kind of dad (King).

[redqueen]

66. "conquest"?

Please explain.

[snooper2]

64. Am I the only one that noticed that he has a bowl cut and the collar is messed up?

I mean, at least fix your fucking collar if you want to be the faceless pic trying a new meme

[Coventina]

68. "Mangina"?

Please explain what you mean by that term, because it seems to imply that having a vagina is less desirable than a penis.

[Sheldon Cooper]

71. Lol!!!

[Coventina]

72. Dang! I didn't get a chance to respond before the auto-remove!!

Gotta move quicker than the software!!

[redqueen]

73. I love it when DUers are more pissed at feminists than sexist, misogynist MRA trolls.

On Mon Aug 4, 2014, 08:22 AM you sent an alert on the following post:

Jesus Christ, what a mangina
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=5334466

REASON FOR ALERT

This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate.

YOUR COMMENTS

"Mangina" is a misogynist, MRA insult.

Sickening to see this shit here. Its getting more and more common.

JURY RESULTS

A randomly-selected Jury of DU members completed their review of this alert at Mon Aug 4, 2014, 08:36 AM, and voted 5-2 to HIDE IT.

Juror #1 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: It's been deleted so get over it
Juror #2 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: I'm really hating these gender wars, and the small clique who think they are the final and absolute arbiters of what all is offensive to "women" (as if they can speak for me, I've given out no such permission) and of what "true feminism" means, and the whole "men oppressor, women victim" vibe that's going on here (the notion that I've seen played out here that if a man stands up for himself or his sex in general against a charge by the "true feminist" vanguard, he's an MRA or repeating MRA talking points or a rape apologist or some hyperbolic nonsense).

That rant being said, this is one hide I can get behind.
Juror #3 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #4 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: He could have made his point without the crap.
Juror #5 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: Should be left as a reminder that ones very first post on DU should be well thought out as opposed to mindlessly blurting out the first stupid sexist thing that comes to mind.
Juror #6 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #7 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: No explanation given

Thank you.

[Sheldon Cooper]

74. Yeah if we'd just shut up and ignore that shit, this place would be

SO much better. Or less sucky. Or something.

[redqueen]

76. Flawless logic, isn't it? nt

[Coventina]

78. Wow, just...wow!

And, incredibly saddening....

Geez.....

[redqueen]

80. The one that says 'its been deleted get over it' is puzzling

I thought if the poster was banned, and the message auto-removed, that the alert would just disappear, and any jury member called after that would just see the deleted post, and not be able to vote.

But yeah, saddening is right. Too right.