U.S. Military Desperate To Be Handed Just One Solid War It Can Knock Out Of The Park

[2ndAmForComputers]

ARLINGTON, VA—Reportedly fed up with complicated and protracted operations overseas, top Pentagon officials acknowledged this week they were desperate to be given just one straightforward, no-nonsense military engagement they could really knock out of the park.

"Given all these messy, ambiguous conflicts we've been fighting against enemies you can't even put your finger on, what we could really use right now is a plain old war against a clear-cut bad guy employing conventional tactics and weaponry," said Gen. Martin Dempsey, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. "No roadside bombs or plainclothes militants hiding out among innocent civilians—just a fair fight where two sides shoot at each other and someone wins. That's it."

"If Congress or our commander in chief could pull a few strings to make that happen, I swear we could totally nail a war like that, no question," Dempsey added. "The sort of thing where you go in, blow up a number of actual tanks and jets, declare victory, plant a flag, and then exit—that's all we're asking for."

Citing the country's long history of winning wars against sovereign nations with actual standing armies, the Pentagon's top brass repeatedly assured reporters they would "completely wipe the floor" with such an opponent if given the chance, and promised they would make America "very, very proud."

http://www.theonion.com/articles/us-military-desperate-to-be-handed-just-one-solid,27770/

[librechik]

1. yup

I beleive it
lol

[snooper2]

2. SEXUAL HARASSMENT

Powerhouse: SEXUAL HARASSMENT

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[DonCoquixote]

3. they will not get it

But not for the reasons they think.

Has it ever occured that the reason why our country has had trouble winning wars in the last 40 years is because the MIC would NOT PROFIT?

Go ahead, laugh, but let's say, after Saddam Hussein was DEAD, we left Iraq. The MIC would have lost out on BILLIONS, just like they would lose if we left now that Osama is dead.

The MIC will not allow the army to wage an honest war; they will cut supplies (like they did in Iraq, where people went to gun shows to outfit their sons with bullet proof vests!) and try to put as many contractors as they can (which of course ruins the effeciency.)

In short, the MIC is noit, nor has it ever benn, interested in an honest war. They want a war footing where lives bleed into the sewers, so that there will be a perpetual need. Not like their kids have to fight.

[provis99]

4. has America EVER won one solid war?

I guess you could count the Civil War, where the odds were that some American side was going to win, but other than that, our record on war is pretty shitty.