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Tom Rinaldo

(22,912 posts)
Tue Feb 4, 2014, 04:57 PM Feb 2014

Bridget Kelly woke up one day and realized "Hey, my life is too dull".

Last edited Tue Feb 4, 2014, 06:01 PM - Edit history (1)

It's the only plausible explanation left for what happened with the George Washington Bridge access lane closures if you accept Chris Christie at his word. Sure Bridget had a secure six figure job with a promising path forward for career advancement. Her immediate supervisor was slated for promotion to become New Jersey's Attorney General, opening up his slot as Chief of Staff to the Governor. Her ultimate boss, New Jersey Governor Christie, was being talked about widely as in line to become President of the United State; lots of potentially great new job possibilities lay waiting over that horizon. Life was running smoothly. There was no suspense left in Christie's campaign for reelection to a second term as Governor, everyone knew that he was cruising toward a rout of his Democratic opponent in November. What could go wrong? The future looked bright, and apparently it's a very fine line that separates bright from boring.

It's true that Bridget was a single mom with four kids, and most people would think that by itself provided excitement enough, but apparently not for a thrill seeker like Bridget Kelly. Her life was mired in a secure and predictably successful rut. So one morning it seems she work up and thought "Now is the time to go rogue!" Why, who really knows? Not all mortals are created equal. Some choose to climb Mount Everest, simply because it's there. No one had ever ordered the closure of two Fort Lee access lanes onto the George Washington Bridge for four days for no apparent reason before, but Bridget Kelly was in uncharted territory, boldly going where no politico had gone before. Isn't that reason enough? If something had gone wrong during Sir Edmund Hilary's ascent of Everest, it could have cost him his life. If something had gone wrong during the gridlock in Fort Lee it could have cost Bridget Kelly her career and freedom. Some would say that's a small price to pay for the rush of screwing with other people's lives. Apparently Bridget Kelly is one of those people.

People like that have charisma. People like that are born leaders. And so when Bridget Kelly told David Wildstein “time for some traffic problems in Fort Lee” he was compelled to obey her. Not because the man who appointed David to that newly minted, no resume needed to apply, plush position at the Port Authority would have wanted him to. In his heart of heart Wildstein knew that Chris Chrisite was no bully. It simply wasn't the Governors style to throw his weight around. The Governor cultivated a culture of deference to the needs of others within his office, even when that undermined his own political ambitions. David Wildstein knew all that about Chris Chrisite, but still he obeyed Bridget Kelly; “Got it” he unhesitatingly replied when her potent gaze fell upon him. Bridget ordered Wildstein to go rogue and he, now under her considerable spell, complied.

Chris Christie was wise not to question Bridget Kelly about her motives before he fired her on that fateful and resolute morning. New Jersey could have ill afforded having the Governor himself tempted by her siren ways. But somewhere in Hoboken a Mayor was watching closely. “Being at the center of a political fireball looks like fun” Dawn Zimmer said to no one in particular. “Maybe I should offer some false testimony to a federal prosecutor.”

17 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Bridget Kelly woke up one day and realized "Hey, my life is too dull". (Original Post) Tom Rinaldo Feb 2014 OP
Most Excellent !!! - K & R !!! WillyT Feb 2014 #1
Thank you (and to those who posted praise below also) Tom Rinaldo Feb 2014 #11
Anytime Tom Rinaldo... Anytime... WillyT Feb 2014 #13
Very, very, well done...n/t monmouth3 Feb 2014 #2
Like children that decide their home life is too boring Aerows Feb 2014 #3
"Single mom with 4 kids decides to close 2 out of 3 traffic lanes from Fort Lee." rgbecker Feb 2014 #4
Or she's a mean ol Cha Feb 2014 #5
Or Stepien was behind it chowder66 Feb 2014 #6
This is how the Christie administration did business, at HIS direction. stevenleser Feb 2014 #7
Aces. Great insight. cachukis Feb 2014 #8
Sorry, but you left me wanting more.. Voice for Peace Feb 2014 #9
Well it's widely known - to Republicans anyway, that women control men through sex... Tom Rinaldo Feb 2014 #12
And The Rest Is History.....nt global1 Feb 2014 #10
Very nicely done. Thank you! n/t passiveporcupine Feb 2014 #14
Damn Shampoobra Feb 2014 #15
Someone, somewhere, will nonsatirically agree with your post and will quote it to others. Jim Lane Feb 2014 #16
Yes. Republicans claim they want more jobs Tom Rinaldo Feb 2014 #17

Tom Rinaldo

(22,912 posts)
11. Thank you (and to those who posted praise below also)
Tue Feb 4, 2014, 07:48 PM
Feb 2014

This was eating at me for a long time. I couldn't believe how much the first law to solving crimes was being ignored by most of the media; motive, what's the motive? And who exactly had one? Going rogue was not enough, but then I remembered thrill seekers!

 

Aerows

(39,961 posts)
3. Like children that decide their home life is too boring
Tue Feb 4, 2014, 06:03 PM
Feb 2014

and they accuse their parent of sexual abuse because "things are too stable at my house."

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10024444073

rgbecker

(4,831 posts)
4. "Single mom with 4 kids decides to close 2 out of 3 traffic lanes from Fort Lee."
Tue Feb 4, 2014, 06:43 PM
Feb 2014

"When I walked the ruins of the Seaside fire with my boss, Chris, I knew I had to do something. It just didn't seem right that that boardwalk would flame up like that and others just calmly proceed each morning to work without even a traffic jam to sit in. That's when it hit me!".



The possibilities are endless. It's a gift that keeps giving.

Great job, thanks for the fun.

Cha

(297,190 posts)
5. Or she's a mean ol
Tue Feb 4, 2014, 06:51 PM
Feb 2014

sacrificial lamb.

Brilliant..

"Chris Christie was wise not to question Bridget Kelly about her motives before he fired her on that fateful and resolute morning. New Jersey could have ill afforded having the Governor himself tempted by her siren ways. But somewhere in Hoboken a Mayor was watching closely. “Being at the center of a political fireball looks like fun” Dawn Zimmer said to no one in particular. “Maybe I should offer some false testimony to a federal prosecutor.”

Good post Tom.. thanks.

chowder66

(9,067 posts)
6. Or Stepien was behind it
Tue Feb 4, 2014, 07:06 PM
Feb 2014

I've been thinking about how Stepien was fired before Kelly. He's known as ruthless and they fed him press reports about the closing.
I'm wondering if he was doing something to benefit Christie and went too far.

Christie trusted him and probably let him "take care" of matters. I'm sure Christie knows more but I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't actually know about it from it's inception. Or maybe Christie could have told those around him, "get it done, just don't tell me how" kind of thing. Makes me wonder if Christie knows more after talking to Stepien.

He basically changed his tune on him just like he had with Wildstein.

 

Voice for Peace

(13,141 posts)
9. Sorry, but you left me wanting more..
Tue Feb 4, 2014, 07:44 PM
Feb 2014

I think you've hit the nail on the head here.
Please continue.. there is surely much more

Tom Rinaldo

(22,912 posts)
12. Well it's widely known - to Republicans anyway, that women control men through sex...
Tue Feb 4, 2014, 07:55 PM
Feb 2014

Unless women are kept firmly in their place that is, but this woman seems to have broken free of those traditional restraints. I could speculate further but this is a family friendly discussion board. However I am confident that Christie's team is hard at work already, prying into Bridget's sex life looking for more clues that they will gladly share with the public.

 

Jim Lane

(11,175 posts)
16. Someone, somewhere, will nonsatirically agree with your post and will quote it to others.
Wed Feb 5, 2014, 02:36 AM
Feb 2014

My only regret is that it probably won't come to our attention. Your post would be even funnier with that kind of garnish.

Tom Rinaldo

(22,912 posts)
17. Yes. Republicans claim they want more jobs
Wed Feb 5, 2014, 08:49 AM
Feb 2014

Last edited Wed Feb 5, 2014, 09:26 AM - Edit history (1)

Yet by their actions they decimate the ranks of professional satirists who no longer can write anything too outrageous to simply be believed. The left always has reason to believe that "maybe Sarah Palin really did say that" and the Right fringe has gotten so detached from reality that no one can keep up with them in generating a parody that they can't believe.

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