I once hit the door locks as Obama mentioned today...

[TheProgressive]

It was when I was a young business man, in my thirties. I was on assignment in a big city and
I was driving to the client site. I was on a side road less traveled that would take me to the more
traveled and peopled downtown streets.

I was at a stop light and I looked to my right and I saw a person walking towards my car, or more
specifically, towards the intersection.

I hit the door locks. Yes, the young kid, not much younger than me, say in his twenties, was black.

I looked at him and saw his face. It was like, 'geez, come on man'... I felt bad. In truth, I would have
hit the locks button no matter who the person was. I truly felt bad and shook my head and mouthed 'I'm sorry' , knowing that
it had nothing to do with his race. Of course, to him, I can only know that he felt it was because of 'him', his 'color'.

I have never hit the locks button again. Being a safety conscience person in general, the door locks are engaged right after the
seat belt goes on.

Just something that happened to me. Something I learned from...

[Whisp]

1. you said you were sorry.

and he knew it and believed you.

that probably made a huge difference to him.

thanks for your story, it really matters.

[Igel]

3. But there's another point there.

Even if the guy did accept the "I'm sorry", for which there's no evidence.

If the poster did routinely lock the door for everybody, there was no racist intent. However, the guy that heard the door locked quite probably would have assumed that it was a racist act. For him, it would have confirmed a stereotype; it fit a narrative; it matched with his experience and interpretation of history. If he lept to that opinion, however understandable, it was still incorrect.

Locking the doors early avoids having people jump to the misconception. But confirmation bias is funny. You don't notice lack of confirmation. You only notice confirmation--and disconfirmation when it's glaring and there's no way to explain it away. Unless somebody points out the confirmation bias, then the person can be on the look out for it and perhaps view lack of confirmation as evidence that the bias is wrong.

[TheProgressive]

5. You put way too much into *my* story.

It was the first and only time I ever hit the door locks after leaving the driveway.

My lesson, as a younger person, is that you lock the doors right after the seat belt. It is
only common sense.

[TheProgressive]

4. I only hope that he understood that I meant no ill will...

My family were/are not racist, however, in truth, some racists phrases were mentioned only when we
were very young. We were a very middle-class family and were more involved in paying the bills
and trying to live what is referred to the 'American dream'.

The only people I despise are people trying to ruin life in America and our planet.

Thanks for your reply.

[Whisp]

37. My family was racist and bigoted in many ways. Sexist. The whole backpack full.

Not extreme, just the 'normal' for the times. ha. Most still are, but they don't really know it. I point it out now and then when it's too much, but am not very popular. I kind of like that, being a bit different than them.

Sometimes it takes longer to unlearn old things than learn new things. But we can get there. Always more to unlearn tho. thankfully my daughter can start further up the unlearning than I did because of my unpopularity.

[dkf]

2. I don't hit the locks or grab the purse based on who is around...

I do it based on how dark and late it is regardless of who is around.

I've never clutched my purse because I was in the elevator with anyone. How odd.

When people ask me for money I do get a little bit nervous though, regardless of what they look like.

[Tx4obama]

6. I'm a female brown skinned Italian-American and I keep my car doors locked ALL the time...

About 15 years ago while I was stuck in a huge traffic jam I tossed a cigarette butt out the window.

A very strange straggly looking white man got out of his car (that was across the median going the opposite direction) and ran over to my car - I rolled up my window really fast when I saw him coming.

He stood outside of the car window SCREAMING at the top of his lungs at me and then started pounding on my window.

It scared the shit out of me - I was trapped and I am really glad that he didn't have a gun!


p.s. The car I drive nowadays automatically locks all the doors when I first put the car in drive or reverse,
if I'm in a parking lot I get into the car I normally hit the door lock button on my key chain even before starting the car.
I think WE women need to be aware of our surroundings and do what we can in order to be safe at all times - from 'all' strangers.

[avebury]

8. I am white and I would have yelled at you for

throwing a cigarette butt out of your car window. If it was still lit it had the potential to start a fire if it landed, particularly if it is windy out. People have to be really careful when they live in an area that is suffering drought conditions.

[Tx4obama]

9. There was NO grass anywhere. Four lanes of concrete each direction and a concrete median.

No one has a right to run up to someone's car and then scream and pound on their window.

[avebury]

19. I won't bang on your car but I would probably say something.

Littering is just never cool. There is a program in Oklahoma that if someone gets observed littering, their car tag gets called in and the litterer will get a postcard in the mail. Some recipients get really upset and some don't. It wasn't until one lady got a post card that she discovered that one of her son's friends had stolen a license tag off of a disabled vehicle on her property.

[Tx4obama]

25. I get attacked by some nut, where there's no grass, & you're hung up on one measley cig butt

Amazing.

[avebury]

34. I am sorry that the guy scared you and he may well have over-reacted.

This guy freaked you out so much that you might never have stopped to think of the cause and effect related to the incident and understand what set him off. If someone goes ballistic around me, once I am removed from that situation I tend to think it over to analyze the situational dynamics. If I realize that I contributed to the situation (i.e. verbal, body language, etc.) it helps me to figure out how to react if faced with a similar situation. You learn by life experiences. I have also taken classes related to understanding people in regards to different personality or generational types. Things don't occur in a vacuum.

It is possible that he was not a crazy person but someone who recognizes the hazards of throwing cigarettes out of cars. If I see someone throw a cigarette out the window I am not going to assume that the person picks and chooses his/hers sites. A person who throws out a cigarette on a highly urban interstate might be just as capable of doing it in a rural area.

I am sorry if I offended you. Consider the possibility that someone who is not actually involved in an incident can sometimes see other aspects to that incident that the parties involved don't see because they are so closely tied to it.

Littering can be expensive in Oklahoma. I am not sure of what the cost is in Texas. I used to work in an office that was heavily involved with the anti-litter campaign in Oklahoma.

Problems with massive wildfires have resulted in a lot of states writing laws to crack down on littering, particularly with cigarette butts.



http://www.litterbutt.com/Stop-Litter-Campaign/Litter-Laws-By-State.aspx

[RedCappedBandit]

24. When I drove a miata -

I've had a discarded cigarette butt land in my car when I had the top down.

Just sayin'.

[Tx4obama]

26. When cars are stopped at a stand still for 10 minutes cig butts aren't going to be flying into cars

[RedCappedBandit]

27. Not saying the guy was justified in reacting that way

But yeah, it could happen. Particularly if said cig-butt-thrower is driving some gargantuan behemoth that's so high up it wouldn't even see a little car like the miata. Happened to me at a stoplight. I didn't say anything, though.

[Tx4obama]

29. I did not 'throw it'. I dropped it out of the window onto the concrete - next to my car door

I was in the inner lane next to the concrete median, no car on the left side of me.

The crazy nut man and his car was way over on the other side of the wide median - I don't even know how he saw it.

Anyway. I've had enough of this topic - time to move on.

Have a nice weekend.

[Walk away]

58. Oh right that is so much more classy! nt

[Walk away]

28. Doesn't your car have an ashtray? I would have at least have called you a name...

while in my car with the window open. I smoked for many years but never did anything as classless or dangerous as throwing a lit butt out the window. If you do anti-social things you should expect a bad reaction.

[Liberal_in_LA]

39. interesting thread got highjacked quickly

[Logical]

10. Still throw Butts out the window? Why?? n-t

[Hekate]

33. I understand, and I don't smoke. I'm just another female...

... who carries my purse with its strap across my chest, who always locks my car...

I'm sorry people are fixating on your cigarette butt in the city, where you obviously aimed for and hit the non-flammable pavement and not the interior of someone else's car or a puddle of gasoline at a gas station. Good lord. I'd have an issue if you tossed it out your window anywhere along SoCal's tinder dry fields, forests, and chaparral, but you did not.

The screaming man was WAY out of line. Pounding on your window? That might count as some kind of assault.

Tonight is one of those nights where no one from the POTUS on down is going to be given the benefit of the doubt at DU. So I'm giving you some.

[avebury]

35. I think that you missed the point that nothing occurs in this

world in a vacuum but has a cause and effect. People need to take responsibility for their own actions.

A person who would drop a cigarette butt out of his/her car window in an urban area, on an intestate could be just as likely to do it in a rural location. We don't know what the guy's previous experience has been with wild fires either. Had he, his family, or close friends experienced serious losses related to wild fires that could trigger an extremely negative reaction to seeing someone casually toss a cigarette butt out of a car. The situation is actually a lot more complex then a simple story because a lot is not known.

If you are caught and convicted of throwing a cigarette butt out of your car in Oklahoma you will find yourself poorer (a fine of not more than $1,000) and performing community service. I do not know what the punishment would be in Texas.

OK Litter Laws

Title 21, Section 1753.3
'21-1753.3. A. The operator of a vehicle, unless any other person in the vehicle admits to or is identified as having committed the act, shall be liable pursuant to subsection B of this section for any act of throwing, dropping, depositing, or otherwise placing any litter from a vehicle upon highways, roads, or public property. B. Any person convicted of violating the provisions of subsection A of this section shall be subject to a state traffic offense punishable by a fine of not more than One Thousand Dollars ($1,000.00) and upon conviction shall be sentenced to perform not less than five (5) nor more than twenty (20) hours of community service in a litter abatement work program as approved by the court, or the violator may be subject to criminal prosecution as provided by the provisions of Section 1761.1 of this title. The penalties collected from the payment of such citations shall, after deduction of court costs, be paid into the reward fund created pursuant to Section 1334 of Title 22 of the Oklahoma Statutes. C. As used in this section, "litter" means any flaming or glowing substances except those which by law may be placed upon highway rights-of-way, any substance which may cause a fire, any bottles, cans, trash, garbage, or debris of any kind. As used in this section, "litter" shall not include trash, garbage, or debris placed beside a public road for collection by a garbage or collection agency, or deposited upon or within public property designated by the state or by any of its agencies or political subdivisions as an appropriate place for such deposits if the person making the deposit is authorized to use the property for such purpose.

[Hekate]

46. Chill. She didn't confess to being an axe-murderess.

I'm old enough to remember when it was socially acceptable to smoke anywhere; when automobile ashtrays were emptied on the ground in parking lots; when people dropped their butts wherever and ground them out, or not (hence my mother's rule that our bare feet had to be shod when we went shopping in town); and when you were on the freeway at night, watching the trailing sparks from cars as cigarettes were discarded out the window.

We've come a LONG way since then. Both my parents smoked during my entire childhood, from pregnancy on. I have never smoked at all. I am REALLY glad that social mores have changed in that regard. Oh, and litter laws, too.

But honestly, let this go tonight.

[Skittles]

52. I too always keep my car doors locked

because I am a night worker and am very often running around in the middle of the night

[MicaelS]

7. I ALWAYS lock my car doors.

Even if I'm driving down the street to get something to drink. It is automatic as putting on my seat belt. Put on seat belt, lock doors, start engine. And I will not apologize to anyone, ever for doing so.

[Logical]

12. LOL, ok. Good for you. n-t

[Lex]

11. I hated the fact that my door locks would clonk down automatically when the car

started rolling, so if ANY one was around, it sounded like I hit the locks because of them. I especially hated it if it was an African American person because I figured they were thinking, 'here we go with that shit again.'

[TheProgressive]

13. I see you are being a horse's behind....

Please restrain yourself...

[Lex]

14. Umm, what?

[TheProgressive]

15. You tell me...

[Lex]

16. Tell you what? Is something wrong with you?

[TheProgressive]

17. You prove my point...

[Lex]

20. Right.

First you call me a horse's behind for no discernible reason whatsoever and then you are nonsensical in your posts to me after that. Enjoy your stay here at DU.

[TheProgressive]

22. It is not the quantity of posts, rather the content of the posts....

[bravenak]

44. I've had that happen to me.

I'm black. Whenever I see people on the corner holding signs I automatically lock the doors because I'm scared of them. There are a lot of them in anchorage and most of them are white or native. I wonder sometimes if they think I'm racist.
One time a guy started coming up to my car and I rolled the windows up and locked the door. He started banging on my windows saying 'fuck you, you stole our land' I felt bad for him.

[Lex]

49. The car itself locks mine automatically when it begins to roll

so I feel bad when the locks engage and someone's standing there wondering why I did that.

[whopis01]

59. You really think that an "African American person"

couldn't figure out that your car, like a lot of cars today, has locks that engage when it starts moving?

[Lex]

61. I'm not sure what you're implying by putting that in quotes

but no, unless one knows which models engage automatically (not all do), one might not know that particular car loudly clicks into lock by itself.

[whopis01]

62. I was quoting it because it was the phrasing you used - that's all

nothing implied by it. Some people (myself included) do not like that term and choose not to use it - so it was kind of natural for me to put it in quotes.

I just think that most reasonable people, when they hear a car door locking as it first starts to move, would assume that either 1) the car has automatic locks, or 2) the driver locks the doors as part of their normal routine.

It really isn't the same thing as standing on a corner, waiting to cross the street and hearing car doors locking as they pull to a stop at the intersection.

[bluestate10]

18. I have door locks that engage as soon as my car first moved after I close the last door

on the car. I don't have to hit door locks. But I have to admit that if anyone is approaching my car, regardless of what they look like or their race, I pay attention to their movements and am glad my car doors are locked.

[TheProgressive]

21. That was before auto-door locks...

Shows my age...

I just wanted to say that I, (at the time) a young 'white' man, did the door locks thing
and felt crappy. And, it never happen again!

[RebelOne]

56. I assumed that all cars nowadays have auto door locks.

My car does and it is a 1999 model.

[roamer65]

23. I always have locked my car doors, while in motion or parked.

Wherever I go. I love the auto-lock feature on new vehicles.

[ecstatic]

41. Unfortunately, my doors unlock when I put the car in park

I really need to find out how to turn that feature off!

[KinMd]

30. It's not racist to remember that there ARE bad people out there..

and they come in all colors and nationalities

[woolldog]

31. Does locking doors really accomplish anything anyway?

If I were a theif and inclined to rob or hurt someone, locked doors wouldn't stop me. And if I were the type who has a temper, if someone did that to me I'd be more likely to smash their windows than not.

[TheProgressive]

32. Really? This is how you respond to this thread?

Sure, not much could stop a freaking maniac. The idea is to maximize *your* safety.

[woolldog]

38. My point is that I don't think it does maximize one's safety.

It might actually endanger you more than doing nothing would....at least if the person you're locking your doors in response to notices and is, in fact, a criminal.

[MH1]

51. It will slow them down and give you a chance to get the car in motion.

The locks are just a barrier to keep them from easily opening the door. If they are getting that close and really look threatening, you'd better have the engine on and the car in gear and be determining which direction you're going to drive.

[bigwillq]

36. I always hit the doors locked

in every neighborhood. I trust no one, of any color. I think I watch Criminal Minds too much.

[Hoyt]

53. There are some scary crimes in that show. Serial killers torturing women,

cutting out eyes, and worse.

[ecstatic]

40. I automatically lock my doors as soon as my car door closes regardless of who is around

or how safe the area supposedly is.

[BainsBane]

42. Race influences us all in this way

the only question is whether you examine and try to combat it. If one denies the role of race in influencing your thoughts and behavior, he or she has no ability to do anything about it.

[alcibiades_mystery]

43. "it had nothing to do with his race"

I don't think you learned that much.

[TheProgressive]

47. And who are you that allows you to say this to me?

What are you trying to say here?

[SheilaT]

45. I almost never lock my car when I am driving.

And I'm a 64 year old female.

I also truly hate cars that automatically lock when you put them in gear or get up to a certain speed. I like to be able to exit my car as soon as I stop.

I do lock my car when I park it somewhere, however.

[LWolf]

48. I lock my doors when I leave my car.

Usually. Not always.

I have been fortunate to have been left mostly alone, no matter what kind of neighborhood I was in, my entire life. Maybe that's why I'm not very cautious; or, maybe, it's the lack of fear that causes threats to be attracted elsewhere. Who knows?

I'm trying to think about any time that I've felt threatened, to see if I remember how I reacted.

To be honest, the only time I felt threatened it was by men I already knew...white men all.

Maybe that's why a random guy walking down the street wasn't a threat; I already knew where the threat was.

The closest I ever came to a fear reaction to a stranger was this:

My first year of teaching, we were doing winter parent conferences. I'd scheduled a bunch in the evenings, which would be after dark, for the sake of working parents. I was teaching in a school of portables; no building, each classroom it's own portable with one door. My portable was out at the far end of a row, the farthest away from the office portable and parking lot. It was dark out there; a big playground on one side, empty desert on another, and rows of empty portables elsewhere.

My last scheduled conference of the evening was 8:00. Everyone else was done and had gone home. There was a custodian somewhere on the premises. And me, out there by myself in the dark. When the door opened, a man walked in. Yes, a black man. I was expecting a woman. Why? Because this student's dad was in prison.

Apparently, he'd served his time and been let out. That week. Mom didn't tell me. So, I was out there by myself in the dark with a just-released felon. Yes, I was a little nervous.

I took a deep breath, though, introduced myself, reached across the table and shook his hand, and he sat down. We spent 30 minutes talking about his daughter, he thanked me, and he left.

I didn't have to ask myself if it was his race or his prison record that gave me pause; it was the prison record. I waited a bit, and then made my way through the dark to the parking lot and drove myself home.

On my way home, I remembered that time behind bars was not uncommon for black men, and that I couldn't assume that a record made him "bad." I'd forgotten that in the tension of the moment.

He was in and out from that time on, involved with his daughter. Relations were cordial. That was 26 years ago.

[MH1]

50. I do it whenever I realize I'm in a vulnerable place and I'm not sure if the doors are locked.

It's just habit.

In my case, it has NOTHING to do with race. But I don't blame African-Americans for feeling that it's racially motivated. I'm sure that for some people, it is. But seriously, if a woman is alone in her car in a parking garage and someone is unexpectedly coming toward her, and there aren't lots of other people around, she damned sure ought to be hitting those locks, long before she tries to figure out what color that person's skin is.

[Humanist_Activist]

54. I always lock my doors when driving, I was told that it decreases the chances of the doors...

popping open in a car accident. One of my classmates in high school died because he flew out of his Jeep and it rolled over on him(he also wasn't wearing a seat belt, something else I am meticulous about), so I became careful about it since.

The only incident I can recall involving pedestrians is a lady approaching my car while at a stop light, I just got off work and it was just after midnight. She said her car was broke down, so I pulled into the parking lot she said her car was in and when I turned off my car, my door locks disengage, she hopped in the passenger seat and offered me a blowjob for 20 dollars. I told her to get the fuck out of my car right then, or I would call the cops. She left, but damn, that was a freaky experience, the most fucked up part is that I worked as a Security Guard, and still had on my uniform.

[LittleBlue]

55. I always keep my doors unlocked

There is a greater chance of fire within the car. If a criminal wants to try to get at me in a car, good luck to him. I can speed away while he tries to grapple with me and he'll get run over. If he's got a gun, locks won't help as a window is no defense.

[DearAbby]

57. I remember going through a black section of Omaha

as a child, my aunt driving barked out, lock your doors. I did it, because it was what I was told to do. We were in a MOVING VEHICLE and was told to lock the doors. As a child I had accepted this. For some reason, I had filed that away, until this week. We program fear of one another very early in life. To those of the Black community. I am sorry you had to go through all this. I can see you now, understand a bit of your pain, and I am sorry.

[hunter]

60. Generally, people lock their doors when they see me.

It's worse if I'm with my brother who used to play a tough biker or cowboy type in television and movies.

He like that in real life too.

Maybe I look a little scarier than my brother because I'm skinny, fidgety, and not likely to be wearing an appropriate facial expression.

But I clean up okay, I'm friendly, and I have a nice smile.

I usually drive my car with the windows open because the air conditioner is broken. I don't lock the doors even in "bad" neighborhoods because repairing broken windows is a nuisance.

My wife's car has an air conditioner that works, she keeps the windows rolled up, the doors lock automatically as soon as the car begins to roll, and she has a much better situational awareness than I do. Sadly in our society it's something women have to learn.