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"..pretty sure Jesus would think you're a jerk.." (Original Post) Starry Messenger Jun 2013 OP
K&R idwiyo Jun 2013 #1
I imagine Jesus would weep tears of joy that finally this has happened, people are coming to their uppityperson Jun 2013 #2
True. Starry Messenger Jun 2013 #3
Indeed, because after all, Jesus was intolerant of others. uppityperson Jun 2013 #6
*Lmao* Hydra Jun 2013 #4
I lurve her. Starry Messenger Jun 2013 #8
LOL n/t RainDog Jun 2013 #5
Yup. demmiblue Jun 2013 #7
This. Starry Messenger Jun 2013 #12
I doubt it! Segami Jun 2013 #9
"Jesus, hitting the blunt" Kurovski Jun 2013 #38
LOL Marrah_G Jun 2013 #10
Huckabee missed the press conference. Lady Freedom Returns Jun 2013 #11
Mwahaha! Starry Messenger Jun 2013 #13
Holy Zappa Batman! meegbear Jun 2013 #14
She seems kind of young to know who Zappa was, but maybe! Starry Messenger Jun 2013 #15
Slightly off-topic but yonder Jun 2013 #16
Here are the words: RoccoR5955 Jun 2013 #27
+1000! n/t zappaman Jun 2013 #40
The benefits of being a Zappa fan 90-percent Jun 2013 #73
Broadway the hard way! Initech Jun 2013 #78
I heart Ellen Page. nt justiceischeap Jun 2013 #17
I do too! Starry Messenger Jun 2013 #22
"The patron saint of snarky brunettes" Hehe. tridim Jun 2013 #51
And she smokes a pipe... awoke_in_2003 Jun 2013 #56
Jesus is never coming back, he saw what we did to the place. Rex Jun 2013 #18
Also, why would He? Look what we did to him the last time. n/t Cleita Jun 2013 #29
Because supposedly he said he would. Rex Jun 2013 #30
Maybe he got lost looking for beer. Starry Messenger Jun 2013 #31
Well I bet Egypt made a very stout brew Rex Jun 2013 #32
Mmmm, stout. It must be 5 BC somewhere! Starry Messenger Jun 2013 #35
And travelling money tavalon Jun 2013 #60
Yeah, really, tavalon Jun 2013 #59
jesus is a mythological creature dreamed up by old men snooper2 Jun 2013 #61
Thats a great response! William769 Jun 2013 #19
It's perfect! Starry Messenger Jun 2013 #21
This one sank pretty fast. William769 Jun 2013 #23
I missed that before! Starry Messenger Jun 2013 #25
Thanks. William769 Jun 2013 #26
I would say I was a big fan of Ellen Page.... LynneSin Jun 2013 #20
Damn her! He's mine! William769 Jun 2013 #24
Lucky Girl! AS is darn fine man! nt Ilsa Jun 2013 #28
My response to Huckabee was: Bette Noir Jun 2013 #33
Nice! Starry Messenger Jun 2013 #34
Page v Huckabee ReRe Jun 2013 #36
Oh, what do actresses know? They're not like those smart politicians. Kurovski Jun 2013 #37
It's more fun when he's not happy. Starry Messenger Jun 2013 #41
And I love it when he complains about grits. Kurovski Jun 2013 #42
Only Republican actors are smart NewJeffCT Jun 2013 #62
Might be a different movie, tavalon Jun 2013 #63
"Kept" as in "didn't abort" Kurovski Jun 2013 #74
Probably same movie then. Loved that movie tavalon Jun 2013 #85
Juno. Kurovski Jul 2013 #86
Nah, Jesus would call him a hypocrite and jerk to his face. roamer65 Jun 2013 #39
She was being a smart ass. She knows that. She's hella smart tavalon Jun 2013 #65
"Jesus Loves Me But he Can't Stand You" Ron Green Jun 2013 #43
Excellent. Starry Messenger Jun 2013 #44
I love that song caraher Jun 2013 #71
Unlike the Bushes, the Lizards are actual Texans. Ron Green Jun 2013 #82
More like jerk off. (NT) The Wizard Jun 2013 #45
I think we should use that phrase often. tblue Jun 2013 #46
Agreed on all counts! Starry Messenger Jun 2013 #47
Are you from the south? tavalon Jun 2013 #68
No and I wasn't bring sarcastic. tblue Jun 2013 #80
I knew that, it sparked a long term memory tavalon Jun 2013 #84
She is wrong quakerboy Jun 2013 #48
+1 nt Live and Learn Jun 2013 #49
+1. Told my mom that Jesus (the one I know in my head) would slap people for getting it so wrong. Dawgs Jun 2013 #53
I guess it takes a smart ass to get a smart ass. tavalon Jun 2013 #69
The best response I saw to that... malthaussen Jun 2013 #50
Not a fan of hers, but nice response. Dawgs Jun 2013 #52
Really, that is what you took away from this exchange? n-t Logical Jun 2013 #58
No. Just something I noticed. Dawgs Jun 2013 #75
And that, to me, is what makes it so sublime. tavalon Jun 2013 #70
KR gateley Jun 2013 #54
+1 for my Juniper. K and R Smarmie Doofus Jun 2013 #55
Nice to see you Smarmie! Starry Messenger Jun 2013 #72
Bakatcha, Stars. Great thread re. my precious June-bug. n/t Smarmie Doofus Jun 2013 #83
Ellen Page is one of my favorite actors tavalon Jun 2013 #57
Saw a tweet from Jesus H. Christ in response as well NewJeffCT Jun 2013 #64
What a fantastic human ctsnowman Jun 2013 #66
WWJD......... progressoid Jun 2013 #67
Love it - thanks for posting dbackjon Jun 2013 #76
k & r napkinz Jun 2013 #77
I'd like to dedicate this next song to Gov. Huckabee: Initech Jun 2013 #79
She is the cutest thing that ever lived I think. She at least gives kittens a DevonRex Jun 2013 #81

uppityperson

(115,677 posts)
2. I imagine Jesus would weep tears of joy that finally this has happened, people are coming to their
Wed Jun 26, 2013, 01:58 PM
Jun 2013

senses and being more humane.

Hydra

(14,459 posts)
4. *Lmao*
Wed Jun 26, 2013, 02:14 PM
Jun 2013

I'm sure Jesus would be pretty pissed at the things people think he would support. And think they were jerks. You go Ellen!

yonder

(9,664 posts)
16. Slightly off-topic but
Wed Jun 26, 2013, 03:23 PM
Jun 2013
thanks for that Zappa clip meegbear! Singing the truth in his own unique way.
 

RoccoR5955

(12,471 posts)
27. Here are the words:
Wed Jun 26, 2013, 03:53 PM
Jun 2013

There's an ugly little weasel bout three-foot nine
Face puffed up from cryin n lyin
Cause her sweet little hubbys
Suckin prong part time
(in the name of the lord)

Get a clue, little shrew
Oh yeah, oh yeah
Jesus thinks you're a jerk

Did he really choose tammy to do his work?
Robertson says that he's the one
Oh he sure is,
If armageddon
Is your idea of family fun,
An he's got some planned for you!
(now, tell me that aint true)

Now, what if jimbos slightly gay,
Will pat let jimbo get away?
Everything weve heard him say
Indicated that jim must pay,
(and it just might hurt a bit)
But keep that money rollin in,
Cause pat and naughty jimbo
Cant get enough of it

Perhaps it's their idea
Of an affirmative action plan
To give white trash a special break;
Well, they took those jeezo-bucks and ran
To the bank! to the bank! to the bank! to the bank!
And every night we can hear them thank
Their buddy, up above
For sending down his love
(while you all smell the glove)

Jim and pat should take a pole
(right up each saintly glory-hole),
With tar and feathers too --
Just like theyd love to do to you

(cause they think you are bad --
And they are very mad)

Cause some folks don't want prayer in school!

(wed need an ark to survive the drool
Of micro-publicans, raised on hate,
And jimbo-jimbo when they graduate)

Conviced they are the chosen ones --
And all their parents carry guns,
And hold them cards in the n.r.a.
(with their fingers on the triggers
When they kneel and pray)

With a ku-klux muu-muu
In the back of the truck,
If you aint born again,
They wanna mess you up, screamin:
No abortion, no-siree!
Lifes too precious, can't you see!
(what's that hangin from the neighbors tree?
Why, it looks like colored folks to me --
Would they do that...seriously? )

Imagine if you will
A multi-millionaire television evangelist,
Saved from korean combat duty by his father, a u.s. senator

Studied law --
But is not qualified to practice it

Father of a love child
Who, in adulthood, hosts the remnants
Of papas religious propaganda program

Claims not to be a faith healer,
But has, in the past,
Dealt stearnly with everything from hemorrhoids to hurricanes

Involved with funding for a secret war in central america
Claiming ronald reagan and oliver north as close friends

Involved in suspicous tax-avoidance schemes,
(under investigation for 16 months by the i.r.s.)

Claims to be a man of god;
Currenty seeking the united states presidency,
Hoping we will all follow him into --
The twilight zone

What if pat gets in the white house,
And suddenly --
The rights of certain people disappear
Mysteriously?

Now, wouldn't that sort of qualify
As an american tragedy?
(especially if he covers it up, sayin
Jesus told it to me!)

I hope we never see that day,
In the land of the free --
Or someday will we?
Will we?

And if you don't know by now,
The truth of what Im tellin you,
Then, surely I have failed somehow --

And jesus will think Im a jerk, just like you --
If you let those tv preachers
Make a monkey out of you!

I said:
Jesus will think you're a jerk
And it would be true!

There's an old rugged cross
In the land of cutton --
Its still burnin on somebodys lawn
And it still smells rotten

Jim and tammy!
Oh, baby!
You gotta go!
You really got to go!

90-percent

(6,829 posts)
73. The benefits of being a Zappa fan
Thu Jun 27, 2013, 12:00 PM
Jun 2013

There are so many opportunities to say:

"There's a Zappa song about that!"

BTW - this version was from the 1988 Zappa Tour at the Nassau Coliseum. I was there. Got to meet Dweezil and Eric Buxton during intermission.

-90% Jimmy

 

Rex

(65,616 posts)
30. Because supposedly he said he would.
Wed Jun 26, 2013, 04:10 PM
Jun 2013

This according to a man that wrote about Jesus 100 years later. As you can imagine, non of the disciples were around to be interviewed.

 

Rex

(65,616 posts)
32. Well I bet Egypt made a very stout brew
Wed Jun 26, 2013, 04:27 PM
Jun 2013

at the time, I know I'd have wanted to inspect their beer. For quality purposes only.

tavalon

(27,985 posts)
59. Yeah, really,
Thu Jun 27, 2013, 11:17 AM
Jun 2013

He said maybe we should treat each other with kindness so we nailed him to a tree. I wouldn't come back.

 

snooper2

(30,151 posts)
61. jesus is a mythological creature dreamed up by old men
Thu Jun 27, 2013, 11:17 AM
Jun 2013

It's no more possible for him to come back than Puff the Magic Dragon

Starry Messenger

(32,342 posts)
21. It's perfect!
Wed Jun 26, 2013, 03:43 PM
Jun 2013
The twitter sadz from the right-wing today have been tragically hilarious, but the responses are even better.

LynneSin

(95,337 posts)
20. I would say I was a big fan of Ellen Page....
Wed Jun 26, 2013, 03:40 PM
Jun 2013

but found out she's dating Alexander Skarsgard now



Ok kidding aside - Great Tweet Ellen!!

ReRe

(10,597 posts)
36. Page v Huckabee
Wed Jun 26, 2013, 05:39 PM
Jun 2013

K&R

.... Ellen Page wins hands down.

What hypocrites, the Republicans. Just imagine how Jesus weeps when bombs kill all those innocent people all over the world. When he weeps over the innocents killed with drones. Even when our troops give their lives in needless wars, Jesus weeps. When our troops who suffer from serious PTSD take their own lives because their burdens are too heavy to bare, Jesus weeps! The suffering is exponential, all over the world, among the families and friends of all those needlessly killed, and Jesus weeps.

Jesus weeps when people all over the world die from no health care. When children die of starvation before the age of 5 years old. When so many innocents die of needless gun violence right here in America. Jesus weeps when so-called Christians use Him for their nefarious deeds against humanity, for their greed & avarice.

Jesus said "In as much as ye have done it unto the least of these, my brethren, ye have done it unto Me." Shame on Mike Huckabee and his cohorts, the Republicans. Shame on all of them. They don't have the right to even speak the name of Jesus!

Kurovski

(34,655 posts)
37. Oh, what do actresses know? They're not like those smart politicians.
Wed Jun 26, 2013, 05:55 PM
Jun 2013

K&R

I loved her in that baby thing. For chrissake, she kept her baby. He should at least be happy about that.

Kurovski

(34,655 posts)
42. And I love it when he complains about grits.
Wed Jun 26, 2013, 07:40 PM
Jun 2013

It must be rough.

You are of course absolutely, 100% correct.

tavalon

(27,985 posts)
63. Might be a different movie,
Thu Jun 27, 2013, 11:19 AM
Jun 2013

but no, she didn't. She gave the baby to the newly single mother who was going to adopt it.

Kurovski

(34,655 posts)
74. "Kept" as in "didn't abort"
Thu Jun 27, 2013, 12:42 PM
Jun 2013

"Are you keeping it"? was a euphemism for that at one time in the olden days.

tavalon

(27,985 posts)
85. Probably same movie then. Loved that movie
Sun Jun 30, 2013, 01:15 PM
Jun 2013

My favorite line is when she tells the adoptive mother that she's the cautionary whale at school. Cracked me up!

roamer65

(36,745 posts)
39. Nah, Jesus would call him a hypocrite and jerk to his face.
Wed Jun 26, 2013, 05:59 PM
Jun 2013

He didn't mince words with the money changers at the temple, he wouldn't with this jerkwad either.

caraher

(6,278 posts)
71. I love that song
Thu Jun 27, 2013, 11:30 AM
Jun 2013

The Lizards are one of the best things to come out of Texas. I can almost forgive the state for the Bushes...

Ron Green

(9,822 posts)
82. Unlike the Bushes, the Lizards are actual Texans.
Thu Jun 27, 2013, 05:15 PM
Jun 2013

"Gingrich the Newt" is another good song of theirs.

tavalon

(27,985 posts)
68. Are you from the south?
Thu Jun 27, 2013, 11:22 AM
Jun 2013

If not, I'd best let you in on a secret, "isn't she precious" and "isn't he just so cute" are generally followed by the most cutting remarks ever. They are considered a diss of the highest order, as in "Isn't she precious? It's such a shame she's so stupid!"

tblue

(16,350 posts)
80. No and I wasn't bring sarcastic.
Thu Jun 27, 2013, 04:54 PM
Jun 2013

But thanks for letting me know. She's precious. Is that better?

quakerboy

(13,920 posts)
48. She is wrong
Thu Jun 27, 2013, 06:17 AM
Jun 2013

Look what he did to the moneylenders in the temple. Im pretty sure he would not "be nice to your face" towards any of these hateful bigots using his name to punish and torture others.

 

Dawgs

(14,755 posts)
53. +1. Told my mom that Jesus (the one I know in my head) would slap people for getting it so wrong.
Thu Jun 27, 2013, 08:34 AM
Jun 2013

The one I read about had no problem getting pissed.

tavalon

(27,985 posts)
69. I guess it takes a smart ass to get a smart ass.
Thu Jun 27, 2013, 11:24 AM
Jun 2013

She knows that. She said it that way so that it would be a shot heard round the world instead of just getting called a bitch. She is sublime. I love when something that witty makes it out of my mouth.

malthaussen

(17,193 posts)
50. The best response I saw to that...
Thu Jun 27, 2013, 08:23 AM
Jun 2013

... sorry I don't have a screenshot, but it came from "Therealjesuschrist" and read: "Those were tears of joy, you asshole!"

But go, Ellen Page.

-- Mal

 

Dawgs

(14,755 posts)
52. Not a fan of hers, but nice response.
Thu Jun 27, 2013, 08:32 AM
Jun 2013

Although not sure about "he would like be nice". Sounds like a combination of 'deep south' and 'valley girl' mixed together.

tavalon

(27,985 posts)
70. And that, to me, is what makes it so sublime.
Thu Jun 27, 2013, 11:26 AM
Jun 2013

She could have just said, "you're an asshole and you are wrong." but this was so much funnier and is getting better air time than that other one would.

NewJeffCT

(56,828 posts)
64. Saw a tweet from Jesus H. Christ in response as well
Thu Jun 27, 2013, 11:19 AM
Jun 2013

Something like "those were tears of joy you idiot" or something like that.

DevonRex

(22,541 posts)
81. She is the cutest thing that ever lived I think. She at least gives kittens a
Thu Jun 27, 2013, 05:07 PM
Jun 2013

run for their money. I mean, really. Just look at her. Read what she wrote. What is not to love about her? She wasn't a jerk. She said what she thought. Short and to the point. She's smart and nice. She's bold. She's small but plays big. Like Johnny Depp, she commands a room without doing one thing. All eyes are on her. That's special. It's great to have her speak up to that old Rick Perry.

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