Romney: “Seeing Him With Chris Christie is Tearing Me Apart”

[HipChick]

A new Mitt Romney is emerging in the closing days of the campaign, aides say: a man who is increasingly “being eaten alive with jealousy” by President Obama’s budding relationship with New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie.

While Mr. Romney has told reporters that he is “totally fine” with Gov. Christie flying around in a helicopter with President Obama, privately he has told aides, “Seeing him with Chris Christie is tearing me apart.”

The trouble began earlier this week, a Romney aide said, when Mr. Romney saw Mr. Christie on CNN mention that President Obama “had given him his number at the White House.”

“Mitt was like, ‘Fine, whatever, do we have to watch this?’ and then basically ran out of the room,” the aide said. “It was completely awkward.”

Making matters worse, the aide said, “Chris Christie isn’t returning his calls.”

“Mitt was trying to explain his position on FEMA to reporters yesterday and he got all excited because his phone started vibrating,” the aide said. “It turned out it was just Ann.”

Mr. Romney, who has been seen doodling Chris Christie’s name in the margins of his briefing books in recent days, has apparently decided on a new course of action: to make the New Jersey governor jealous.

“He’s been calling [New York Governor Andrew] Cuomo,” the aide said. “But Cuomo won’t call him back either. It’s all so sad.”

Read more http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2012/11/romney-seeing-him-with-chris-christie-is-tearing-me-apart.html#ixzz2BPNZB6nD

[ellie]

1. Hahahahahaha!

Hilarious!

[HipChick]

3. What is more hilarious, is that RW newspapers are reporting this story

as fact...

[ellie]

44. Are they really?

Good lord. I weep for my chosen profession of journalism.

[rug]

2. . . . I'm begging you, please don't take my man . . .

[BuelahWitch]

23. LOL!

[Thekaspervote]

4. What a wingnut!!!

[russspeakeasy]

5. OH, I needed that... Thanks.

[oswaldactedalone]

6. Robme is such a loser

at life. What a whiny dick.

[Kalidurga]

7. I was telling people way back in July...

That Romney was going to force satirists to report the news straight. It is so sad. Maybe after Romney loses they can go back to making up funny stuff. But, in the meantime they have to adapt by reporting the truth.

[sakabatou]

8. As Dr. Cox said...

[pnwest]

9. oh Lord, you had me until the doodling his name in the margins...what a riot! nt

[We People]

41. Me too, exactly!!

Hilarious!

[Alleycat]

10. This sounds like relationship break up!

This is the onion right? This can't possible be real.

[Indpndnt]

35. That's what I was thinking! This HAS to be The Onion!

Omg.

[MichiganVote]

11. Uh huh..well this is how it feels to be outsourced buddy. This is exactly how it feels.

[Life Long Dem]

12. Mitt invited Chris Christie to a rally

Christie turned him down. He was only 20 minutes away from the rally and it was at night.

http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entry/report-chris-christie-declined-invite-to-romney-event

"The Romney rally was held at a farm in Morrisville, Pa., not more than 20 minutes from Trenton, the New Jersey capital. The physical proximity of the event to New Jersey only added to questions in the Romney campaign about why Christie chose not to come.

"You can't tell me he couldn't have gone over there for a night rally," a Romney campaign source told HuffPost."

[renate]

30. how funny that Andy Borowitz's satire is so close to the truth!

Right down to the petulant "You can't tell me he couldn't have gone over there...."

Bwahahahahahaha!

[Amonester]

34. Too busy to waste precious time going to a loser's last straws...

Robme's campaign source eats his socks.

[TwilightGardener]

13. Uh...that's weird--d'oh, missed Borowitz's name!!

[okwmember]

14. I'm not sure if I find this funny or sad.

Why the hell would he expect Cuomo to contact him?

[TwilightGardener]

17. Satire--Andy Borowitz.

[Cirque du So-What]

15. Best satire I've read all week

and there's some choice material out there right now.

[BootinUp]

16. Oh damn!!! Its that funny as hell Borowitz!111

I almost fell for it.

[TalkingDog]

18. The ROOM! ... except funnier.

[DefenseLawyer]

19. I know it was you, Fredo

You broke my heart. Fredo, you're nothing to me now. You're not a brother, you're not a friend. I don't want to know you or what you do.

[RedCloud]

20. Obama should have strapped Christie to the top of the Limo

to drive home another point!

[mindwalker_i]

26. I really want to make a snarky comment about gravity waves

But it would be totally inappropriate given Christie's foray into realism. I don't want to crush that.

[SDjack]

38. ... "gravity waves" ... Please stop it. You are killing me!!!

Now, I feel a little guilty for unkind comment since Chris has become part friend, part something else.

[mindwalker_i]

45. Xactly

[nc4bo]

21. Ok, thought this was straight from The Onion.

OMG can't possibly be true no dang way

Seriously

[markpkessinger]

33. It's by satirist Andy Borowitz . . .

. . . who is a higher-brow version of The Onion.

[nolabear]

22. Tears on his pillow...

[speedoo]

24. Hilarious.

What makes for great satire is that you can actually believe it, and Romney is so fucked up, you can actually believe this.

[wisteria]

25. Sorry, this sounds a little to far fetched to believe.

I am sure Romney wishes he was with Cristie, but the other things sound like a man over the edge and I don't buy that.

[FieryLocks]

27. HAHAHAHAHA!!!

[Matariki]

28. oops

punked by satire. again.

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

29. Romney breaks down in tears every time he sees a jelly doughnut

[Yavin4]

31. Hey Mitt, Christie Is Just Not That Into You

[HipChick]

32. It's satire..but RW blogs and newspapers are quoting it as though it is true..

[daughterofthedust]

39. No. They can't be.

[Turborama]

47. If true, that'd be as funny as the satirical article itself

I'd be really grateful for any links to check out.


ETA Thanks a lot for the hilarious OP!

[usregimechange]

36. If it looks like a two faced duck, quacks like a two faced duck...

[Spirochete]

37. What a bizarre guy!

maybe they should make a public post for him - not president, nothing with any power or say-so, but a public one to watch all the weird stuff he does and says.

[Care Acutely]

40. Very cute!

[We People]

42. Thanks, HipChick - your post has made for a really entertaining thread...

Where, tonight, truth was funnier than parody!

[Ken Burch]

43. Really, it's not as if Christie has anything to gain from Romney getting elected.

It's in his direct political self-interest to do a bit of rodent copulating, if you catch my meaning.

[Zoeisright]

46. Good. Why don't all of you leave the country?

I hope it's the final nail in the coffin containing Rmoney's sanity.

[cash__whatiwant]

48. LOL! nt