What one-liners will EASTWOOD trot out to dazzle simpleton Rethugs with? Post your choices!1

[UTUSN]

It's well known how wingnuts confuse movies and actors with reality, how they think that John WAYNE was actually a military hero while he was a draft dodger who was booed in touring a military hospital, how they think that strutting and blustering like Shrub actually means bravery and courage, how certain hues and patterns of fabric are actual embodiments of patriotism, etc.

So if EASTWOOD is up there yapping Tuff Tawk and looking all weathered and wrinkley, he must now be Charleton HESTON or Moses or somebody.

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http://www.clinteastwood.org/forums/index.php?topic=5992.40;wap2
[font size=5]Favorite (not mine/UTUSN) Eastwood Quotes and One-Liners [/font]

from Tightrope:

PENNY: What's a hard on, Daddy? WES: Well, he likes her in a -- in a certain way.
PENNY: Why?
WES: Well, sweetheart, male bears like... female bears, and male bees like... female bees and occasionally they get together and...
AMANDA: Dad? Forget it.

WES: What kind would you suggest I hang out with?
BECKY: Someone who's more... up your alley.

WES: Actually, I was just gonna hang out here and be tacky.

WES: Wanna go hoist some oysters?

WES: What it would be like to lick the sweat off your body.
BERYL: I'd like to find out what's underneath the front you put on.
WES: (Smiles) Maybe you wouldn't like what you'd find.



Hey guard, this spoon looks like it's been sticking in someone's ass, any chance of me getting a new one?


from this page:
http://localsonly.wilmington.net/~solomon/clinteastwood.html

Absolute Power
Luther Whitney (Eastwood) says to Bill Burton (Ed Harris) "Tomorrow is promised to no one."

Dirty Harry
"I know what you're thinking. Did he fire six shots or only five. Well to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I kind have lost track myself. but bein' this is a 44 magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question.......do i feel lucky?..........well do ya punk?"

A Fistful of Dollars
"That aint nice you laughin, you see, my mule don't like people laughin, he gets the crazy idea you're laughin at him, so now if you'll apologize, like I know you're going to, I might convince him that you really didn't mean it." This strikes the boys as even more funny, that is until five shots ring out from Clint's revolver.

Heartbreak Ridge
"I'm mean nasty and tired, I eat concertina wire and I piss napalm, and I can put a round through a fleas ass at 200 meters so why don't you go hump someone else's leg mutface before I push yours in."

High Plains Drifter
Clint says coolly, without turning around to the man standing behind him, "You'd look pretty silly with that knife up your ass" he then eases his beer glass down onto the rail and fires off 3 perfectly placed rounds from the hip at 3 practice dummies and says to the astonished man "You STILL there?"

Magnum Force
"Mans got to know his limitations"

The Outlaw Josey Wales
"Are you going to pull those pistols or whistle Dixie"
"Dying ain't much of a livin' boy"
After killing the bad guys, the kid asks Clint: "Aren't we gonna bury the bodies?" Clint, with a cheek full of chaw, squints down at the corpses, looks around, "To hell with them fellas. {spits tobacco on forehead of corpse} Buzzards gotta eat, same as worms."
"Looks like I got me a Josey Wales"
"I've noticed that when I get to liking someone they aint around long" chief:"I've noticed that when you get to disliking someone they aint around long neither"

Sudden Impact
"Well, this is the 44 Magnum, and it can REMOVE the fingerprints..."

The Good The Bad and The Ugly
"There are two kinds of men in this world, those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig."
"I've never seen so many men wasted so badly."

Unforgiven
Scene is near the end when Clint is about to kill Gene Hackman: Hackman exclaims that he doesn't deserve to die like this. Clint responds: ".....Deserves got nothin' to do with it."
"Funny thing killing a man...take away all he's got...and all he's ever gonna have."
"Yeah I killed women and children. I reckon I've killed everything that walks or crawls, at one point or another."
"Anybody who doesn't feel like dyin' should move on out the back." "......or I'll come back and kill all of ya."
Gene Hackman: "You just shot an unarmed man!" ... Clint Eastwood: "Well he should have armed himself."

Miscellaneous Oneliners
"He's got so much influence down town he could get a sodomy charge reduced to following too closely."

(and on and on)

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[Scuba]

1. "I ain't like that no more."

[El Supremo]

2. You better not harm no people, or I'll come back and kill every one of you sons of bitches.

[Motown_Johnny]

3. There will be a "Do you feel lucky? Well do ya?" Kinda line in there somewhere.

You need to go to the lowest common denominator with these people.

[Chiyo-chichi]

4. He'll trot out the same lame one-liners we've been hearing for 3 days.

"Your zip code determines your chance at success."

"You can't lead from behind."

"My parents arrived in America with 13 cents in their pockets."

"We built it.. blah, blah, blah."

[Tom Ripley]

5. "Mr. DeMille, I'm Ready for My Close-Up"

[spanone]

6. mitt my day

[UTUSN]

7. The new one he used: "We didn't check with the Russians how they handled their 10 yrs in Afghanistan

Hey, Dopey, it was Shrub's job.