PresiDented Donald Trump is saying: "I can tell you one thing: a lot of people over here, very high up people, the best, are saying what Shifty Schiff (that's what they all him) and Crazy Nancy are trying to do to me is terrible. . . . . They're all talking about it. . . . I mean like presidents and chancellors and people like that. . . . They can't believe what they're hearing on the rigged impeachment hearings. . . . Believe me. It's hurting our reputation abroad."

Alex Jones is saying: "If I had been there to question Fiona Hill, she would have broken down in a matter of seconds. . . . No doubt. It always like that with the chickensh*t left. . . . You ask them about something important that they don't want to talk about like Fusion GPS or Cloudstrike of Obama's Kenyan birthplace, they immediately clam up, and they just stare at you with their eyes and mouths wide open."




***********************************************


Above CAPTION loosely based on the following story at Media Matters:

https://www.mediamatters.org/alex-jones/alex-jones-presses-roger-stones-smear-campaign-against-fiona-hill

Grandpa Porter is saying: "Thank you, God, for keeping us in N.A.T.O., congressional oversight, honest leaders who care about American citizens and the health of the planet, the courts' check on presidential power, and career professionals in the diplomatic corps, Justice Department, and throughout the government. . . . But if I may ask for just one thing: . . . please bring back the Republican Party."

And the rest of the Porters respond: "Amen to that!"

Sean Hannity is saying: "There's so much to be thankful for: . . . the migrant kids stopped at the border; . . . the money the government is saving by reducing food stamps and welfare benefits, especially in the inner cities; . . . cases conderning gerrymandering have been declined by the Supreme Court; . . . nobody cares if the president committed a crime or not; . . . false science and fake history are being exposed and defunded (soon we might go for criminal prosecutions); . . . and you'll like this one best of all, Tucker, get this: plans are underway to bankrupt Social Security and Medicare. . . . then we're getting rid of child labor laws. . . . Isn't that great! . . . Sometimes it's hard counting all my blessings."

PresiDented Trump is saying: "And now they want to call Thanksgiving 'Native American Genocide Day' or the beginning of the 'Indian Holocaust,' or something . . . And we've all got to eat a tofu turkey, and they're trying to outlaw cranberries and pumpkin pie. . . . It's damn near impossible to believe!"



******************************************

Above CAPTION based on this bozo's bull 11.26.19 as a clip for Morning Joe shows linked at Crooks and Liars:

https://crooksandliars.com/2019/11/trump-and-his-brave-thanksgiving-defense

John (Sunshine Patriot) Bolton is saying: "I'd love to testify before Congress. I'd jump at the chance, . . . especially as I can see how dearly my country needs me. . . . In fact it's like I was born for this moment. . . . But I want to wait for a different federal judge to rule and wait to see if that gets appealed and then if the courts say I have to, . . . well, we'll see."






***************************************************************
Above CAPTION based on the following story linked at DU:

https://www.democraticunderground.com/10142400603

PresiDented Trump is saying: "I heard myself say it with my own ears. . . . That's good enough for me. . . . No quid pro quo. . . . Where else would the Secret Service stay? . . . No bedbugs, absolutely none. . . . No collusion and no obstruction. . . . I released the transcript. Everybody said it was perfect. . . . Just Shifty Schuff and Crazy Nancy. . . . Word is they helped Cloud-Strike get the server past Customs. . . . We're looking into it. . . . As bad as the Climate Change hoax, . . . or the Bidens. . . . It was the Chinese. . . . That started it. . . . Everyone wants my trade deals to fail so they can get rid of me. . . . Where's Hunter anyway? . . . I'm giving you everything right here, the whole deal. . . . I can see how surprised your are. . . . Your ratings must be breaking records. . . . Better than Mueller's ratings. . . . Isn't this great? . . . Another witch hunt. . . . We'll have to do this every week! . . . What do you say?"

John (Ol' Jello-Spine) Bolton: "What is apparent to me is this: the State Department employees, the ambassadors, and staffers who have testified in front of the impeachment hearings are the real cowards. . . . In order to be effective in the future, a true hero saves his or her own skin first. . . . If you had a scintilla of common sense, you'd know that."

PresiDented Trump is thinking: "Damn. . . . I'm screwed. . . . The Impeachment hearing are going bad. . . . It's all coming out no matter what I do. The professionals make my side look like clowns and thugs. . . . I can't throw Perry, Guiliani or Pompeo under the bus; they'd turn on me. . . . And the Supreme Court will let the taxes get out and then everyone will know. . . . Nobody will back me ever again. . . . I can only see one thing to do. . . . The only question is: . . . do I attack North Korea or Iran?"






*****************************************************

Note: This spud would never consider suicide, mainly because it would indicate loss. Therefore the subject line is only to get attention and set up misdirection for the joke, such as it is.

John (harder than tempered steel) Bolton is saying: "The truth is, I'd love to testify before Congress and what I have to say would greatly benefit the nation, perhaps even save it, . . . but I'm not like those limp-wristed bureaucrats and officials who testified despite the President's injunction. . . . What cowards!!!"