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Member since: Fri Oct 22, 2004, 03:11 PM
Number of posts: 23

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BANKERMAS: Federal Reserve Proposes New Holiday (humor alert)

Last year, nearly one penny out of every dollar spent in the United States of America went for salaries and bonuses at Wall Street firms, prompting demands for a new federal holiday: Bankermas!

“Many holidays, such as Christmas or Thanksgiving, include gestures of helping the less fortunate,” explained one investment banker. “But are these significant? America’s 1,085,000 federal minimum wage workers, all together, made $26 billion in 2013, while America’s 165,200 investment bankers awarded us $127 billion in total compensation (salary and bonuses). That makes us more than five times as important as the working poor; our paychecks are nearly one percent of the $16 Trillion GDP! (technically: 0.75%). We deserve a celebration: Bankermas!”

Pundits cheered this accomplishment, “Every time you buy a 99 cent hamburger, what happens to that other penny?” one asked. “Don’t worry, it’s not lost one way, or another, it ends up safely in the pocket of a Wall Street banker! If you spend $100 on groceries, 75 cents of that goes to the people who helped collapse the economy. If you spend $10,000 on a used car, $75 that goes to Wall Street – almost enough for a champagne lunch or half an hour with one of their hookers.”

On television, a blonde in a short skirt explained, “George Washington gets a holiday for something he did over two hundred years ago. Why shouldn’t Wall Street bankers get a holiday for something they’re doing right now?”

Congress is expected to act quickly on the proposal. “There’s an election every other November,” said one campaign manager, “And we all know that a happy Wall Street banker is a generous Wall Street Banker!”


Hello world! I'm new but having fun already....

...I might have done DU way-back-when, and then wandered off to pursue a career in uncompensated inappropriate humor.
Recently someone posted my 2008 essay about Regulations for Pissing on Cheney's Grave http://www.democraticunderground.com/10026005879 and the comments were hilarious! Therefore I am motivated to try a little more .

I also publicize free continuing legal education (for any lawyers needing credits or non-lawyers wanting to learn - why not?), run the advocacy group "Veterans And Friends of Puget Sound", and generally live the good life. Thanks for letting me in!

Join the National Guard. That's how it works in a democracy....

...the Guard gives you training, organization and the means to defend the Constitution.

While the Guard *has* been used to suppress unions and political protests, the problem there is the political leadership that gave it the wrong orders. For the most part, the Guard is a people's militia and very useful, as during desegregation and in natural disasters.

If you leave the Guard to be populated by rightwingers, you are surrendering a very valuable institution. Don't give up prematurely; instead, get involved.

The Matthew Hoh story should be better known ....

... lots of veterans out there, and only they can prevent the next screwup, but telling the rest of us the truth.

Admitting error is not possible to those who live by bullying....

...I was in RC seminary (minor level) for four years.
Looking back, I see that the virtue promulgated above all others was not piety, and certainly not learning; it was obedience.
We were not going to swear to be holy, or promise to study earnestly; the vow that was emphasized was that of obeying the bishop.

When you have a hierarchy that rewards people who don't question orders and kicks out those who do, the leaders become a pack of bullies. And the one thing bullies cannot do is admit that they are wrong.

Electing a Pope who survived the terror regime of Argentina may be the only way to break that system. We may see.

“You pray for the hungry and then you feed them, that is how prayer works”.

...that's what he said about world hunger; I would not be surprised if that represents his attitude toward the environment as well.

This Pope's predecessors were more about multiplying words and less about action, but this guy seems to have a real pragmatic orientation. It remains to be seen, of course, but let us have hope.

Thanks, and I'l have to hang around DU more ... it seems a nice community ...

...and very quickwitted ... the comments were a-maz-ing!! I will have to bring my "A" game.

It is unfortunate for our nation and the world that this essay is still topical; I really spend a lot of time SMH'ing.

Thanks again, and Forward, Laughing!
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