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johnnyplankton

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Member since: Fri Aug 15, 2008, 08:32 PM
Number of posts: 190

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Trumpcare? Got this in my inbox this AM...

This is both disturbing and ripe for parody...


[link:https://www.medicare-providers.net/plans/trumpcaremedicare/?Referrer=USME&Subreferrer=1557&Subid&215532100&utm_source=usme&utm_medium=email&utm_content=Trumpmedicare&utm_campaign=1|
Posted by johnnyplankton | Tue Sep 4, 2018, 07:27 AM (2 replies)

WE KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT

Great (short) article by Nestor Ramos of the Boston Globe...

Parkland. Las Vegas. Sutherland Springs. Newtown. On and on: In America, mass shootings have become so familiar that they seem to follow the same sad script.

He will be a man, or maybe still a boy.

He will have a semiautomatic rifle — an AR-15, or something like it — and several high-capacity magazines filled with ammunition.

The weapon will have been purchased legally, the background check no obstacle.

He will walk into a school, or a concert, or an office building.

And he will open fire into a crowd of innocents.

Even as he’s still firing — crack crack crack — word will begin to spread. Survivors huddled in closets or behind bandstands will send pictures, text messages, and videos into a world that is again aghast.

Televisions will play the videos recorded amid the carnage, the sound somehow worse than the images. The fear in the victims’ voices will be familiar, yet too potent — a sound outside the boundaries of our own empathy.

We will hear about the heroes: Teachers who barricaded their classrooms or threw themselves between their students and the gunfire; concertgoers who shielded strangers as bullets plowed into their backs.

And we will hear about him: He was strange and troubled and cruel to animals; he’d shown signs of mental illness; he lost his job; he beat his wife.

A chorus will rise to ask why anybody should own such a weapon, much less someone so obviously troubled; another chorus will accuse the first of politicizing tragedy. Some will point to the Second Amendment, and blame a lack of treatment for the mentally ill.

Politicians, and then the president, will emerge. Some will plead for new laws. More will ask only for thoughts and prayers. Some will not mention guns at all.

Any promises will be broken. Beyond the shattered orbit of the school or church or concert that became a shooting gallery, the whole thing will recede too soon into memory.

http://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2018/02/15/next/ElwL1QCJNjPhwoA849M66I/story.html?event=event12
Posted by johnnyplankton | Fri Feb 16, 2018, 08:02 AM (1 replies)

Irony Abounds As Trump Labels U.S. “Laughingstock”

From the boys at Fishington Cheesington Post:

AMES, Iowa – Donald Trump, a man who reportedly has had more people openly point and laugh at his hair than there are grains of sand on the combined beaches of Planet Earth, told NBC News on Sunday that, “We used to be the king and the queen all put together, and now we’re a laughingstock as a country.”

[link:http://www.fishandcheese.com/wordpress/2013/08/13/irony-abounds-as-trump-labels-u-s-laughingstock/|
Posted by johnnyplankton | Tue Aug 13, 2013, 12:10 PM (2 replies)

Boston Priest Caught With Adult Hooker, Vatican Secretly Rejoices

August 6, Boston, MA – Vatican officials reportedly breathed a sigh of relief today when it was learned that Rev. Monsignor Arthur M. Coyle was arrested for paying an ADULT prostitute for sex in a car behind a cemetery. “My God, I am so damned happy,” said a Vatican official who requested anonymity. “When you hear ‘priest’ and ‘sex’ and ‘scandal’ in the same sentence, you can’t help but go there. When I heard it was an adult, I felt tears of joy.”

While police officials would not reveal the sex of the prostitute, “Frankly we were just happy that the Monsignor was with someone who had pubic hair,” said the official.

[link:http://www.fishandcheese.com/wordpress/2013/08/06/boston-priest-caught-with-adult-hooker-vatican-secretly-rejoices/|
Posted by johnnyplankton | Tue Aug 6, 2013, 12:06 AM (6 replies)

CNN’s Wolf Blitzer Reportedly Distraught That Interview With Bomber’s Cat Will Not Air

New York, NY – While publicly expressing joy over the capture of Dzhokar Tsarnaev, the remaining suspect in the Boston Marathon bombing, journalism legend Wolf Blitzer is said to be “deeply disappointed” that what his interview with the suspect’s cat Fluffy will not air following the apparent closure to the case.

[link:http://www.fishandcheese.com/wordpress/2013/04/19/cnns-wolf-blitzer-reportedly-distraught-that-interview-with-bombers-cat-no-longer-relevant/|
Posted by johnnyplankton | Fri Apr 19, 2013, 09:57 PM (8 replies)

Homicidal Maniacs Rejoice As Senate Bends Over for NRA

From the Fishington Cheesington Post

Washington, DC - The criminally insane, End Times religious fanatics and libertarians everywhere breathed a collective sigh of relief yesterday as the Senate honored the wishes of pretty much no one and shot down a proposed law that would require background checks for lots of people who probably shouldn’t be given plastic knives at McDonald’s.


More at link:

[link:http://www.fishandcheese.com/wordpress/2013/04/18/homicidal-maniacs-terrorists-rejoice-as-senate-bends-over-for-nra/|
Posted by johnnyplankton | Thu Apr 18, 2013, 02:53 PM (4 replies)

Despite Salient Filibuster Point, Rand Paul Still Completely Berserk

From the Guys at Fishington Cheesington Post:

In a rare display of sanity bordering on moral courage, Kentucky Senator and Tea Party loon Rand Paul began a talking filibuster that actually made sense – questioning whether it was OK for the U.S. government to kill Americans via drone attack – before veering off into his trademark incoherent paranoid gibberish.


[link:http://www.fishandcheese.com/wordpress/2013/03/07/despite-salient-filibuster-point-rand-paul-still-completely-berserk/|
Posted by johnnyplankton | Thu Mar 7, 2013, 11:18 PM (0 replies)

Some Republicans Finally Agree That Punching Women In Face Not Such A Good Idea, Pass Bill

A little satire from the Fishington Cheesington Post

[link:http://www.fishandcheese.com/wordpress/2013/02/28/some-republicans-finally-agree-punching-women-in-face-not-such-a-hot-idea/|
Posted by johnnyplankton | Thu Feb 28, 2013, 11:51 PM (1 replies)

Rubio SOTU Rebuttal Reveals Boehner Not Only GOP Leader with Drinking Problem

Some of my AA's pals liked this:

In his rebuttal to President Obama’s State of the Union speech on Tuesday, rising GOP star Marco Rubio was hoping to show America that he was the new face of the Republican party – and possible competition for the corpulent Chris Christie in the 2016 presidential race. Instead, his handlers are preparing to ship him to the Betty Ford Image Rehabilitation Center for his “drinking problem”.

[link:http://www.fishandcheese.com/wordpress/2013/02/14/rubio-sotu-rebuttal-reveals-boehner-not-only-gop-leader-with-drinking-problem/ |
Posted by johnnyplankton | Thu Feb 14, 2013, 10:07 PM (1 replies)

Rubio SOTU Rebuttal Reveals Boehner Not Only GOP Leader with Drinking Problem

From the boys at the Fishington Cheesington Post:

In his rebuttal to President Obama’s State of the Union speech on Tuesday, rising GOP star Marco Rubio was hoping to show America that he was the new face of the Republican party – and possible competition for the corpulent Chris Christie in the 2016 presidential race. Instead, his handlers are preparing to ship him to the Betty Ford Image Rehabilitation Center for his “drinking problem”.


[link:http://www.fishandcheese.com/wordpress/2013/02/14/rubio-sotu-rebuttal-reveals-boehner-not-only-gop-leader-with-drinking-problem/|
Posted by johnnyplankton | Thu Feb 14, 2013, 09:34 AM (0 replies)
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