Wonder Why
Wonder Why's JournalCaramel Flu is spreading. Chocolate chickens being culled. Chocolate caramel egg prices through the roof!
But I have none and probably won't get any for Easter.
Between the Marshmallow Candy Peeps being gassed and the Chocolate Caramel eggs disappearing from store shelves, it's going to be a sad Easter for me. 🤢
I guess I'll just have to steal them from those poor little kiddies.
Due to the paucity of bodies, the D.U. hearts are going up in price. Mumps has decided that
the Federal Flu has resulted in millions being culled from the workforce and the number of bodies left has resulted in shortages of hearts.
Eloon, here's a way to save a dollar at the TSA!
Do a search at https://www.tsa.gov/travel/security-screening/whatcanibring/all]
Search for the word "Magic" and read the rule:
Magic 8 Ball
Carry On Bags: No
Checked Bags: Yes
For Carry-on bags: We asked the Magic 8 Ball and it told us Outlook not so good!
For Checked bags: We asked the Magic 8 Ball and it told us It is certain!
or search for the words "light saber" and get this:
Carry On Bags: Yes
Checked Bags: Yes
Sadly, the technology doesn't currently exist to create a real lightsaber. However, you can pack a toy lightsaber in your carry-on or checked bag. May the force be with you.
Eloon, you can probably save a dollar for eliminating any humor in that department. However, your visiting any Department with your criminal goons will likely remove all thoughts of job enjoyment, anyway.
Homeland Security Secy Kristi Noem told by trump to build ICE detention plants. Here's her first one:
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From imimg.com
Mumps offers all 2M servicemen and women a buyout as we don't need a military anymore.
His mouth will protect us.
I bought one of these, and I got exactly what I ordered, unfortunately.
"Damaged Screw Extractor Set"
and sure enough, it came in damaged!
MAGAts rush to NY Botanical Garden to meet their fearful leader! They found out he wasn't there.
They smelled him from a mile away but it only turned out to be the Corpse Flower. However, they said it was a left wing conspiracy to hide their F.L. because they knew he had recently been there as they could tell from the odor.
Many of the MAGAts brought plastic containers "to capture the essence of our F.L." Others just inhaled the new dictator's aroma just to say they had smelled him. After all, as many said "Anyone could see him or hear him either live or on TV but how many could get close enough to smell him other than those at Mary Lagos, Florida, Secret Service people, billionaires and politicians."
Hold on! I think ICE is at the door to offer me a free trip to Italy to visit my ancestors. Don't want to miss this opportunity.
My local Lowes store removed all the Spanish language aisle signs.
Went into local Lowes and my wife noticed that all the signs pointing out what was in that aisle which used to be in English with smaller letters in Spanish had the Spanish removed. Signs just have English.
They actually spent money to replace he signs to remove the Spanish, not just deciding not to put up any new ones that only had English.
Guess it was because The Thing landed at nearby Asheville Airport this morning.
Bishop Budde actually apologies to trump.
Well, that's the story I made up.
She said she was sorry she had asked him to have mercy because she knew that a worthless human being like him had no mercy for anyone or anything.
Then she apologized for calling him a worthless human being not because she didn't think he is worthless but because she is not even sure he is human at all so she corrected her statement and said he was a worthless, dirtbag thing, not only inhuman but not even a being.
Then she further corrected herself and said he actually was a Mump, a type of virus that not only is heartless, unmerciful, and worthless but was a lunatic parasite trying to get all the money in the world.
Lastly, she apologized to her congregation for being so nice to the Mump.
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