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Member since: Sat Apr 2, 2005, 03:11 PM
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Gorillaz' Damon Albarn Edited Out All References To Trump On Latest Release

For all the official guest stars that Gorillaz leader Damon Albarn corralled for the group’s fifth album, Humanz -- Pusha T, Vince Staples, Kelela and Danny Brown among them -- the most riveting cameo is unlisted: Noel Gallagher, former co-lead of Oasis, bitter ’90s rival of Albarn’s other band, Blur. Twenty years ago, Albarn and Gallagher were trading potshots as Britpop kings; in 1995, Gallagher famously wished Albarn would “catch AIDS and die.” But in 2017, both are pushing 50 and uniting on “We Got the Power,” on which Gallagher sings backing vocals. “We’ve got the power to be loving each other,” they declare, “no matter what happens.”


For Albarn, who has kept both groups running concurrently since Blur reunited in 2009, Gorillaz’s animated presentation has allowed the group to come and go without aging (literally) or being tethered to one era. Yet Humanz (due Apr. 27 on Parlaphone/Warner Bros.) marks a return to the end-time themes that were front-and-center on 2005’s Demon Days, which Hewlett says was inspired by the Sept. 11 attacks. Albarn warned the world against Donald Trump rising to the Oval Office as far back as the fall of 2015, when he would add a “Don’t fall for Donald Trump / He’s such a chump” sing-along to Blur’s live performances of “Tender.” And indeed, the singer-songwriter says Humanz was inspired in large part by imagining, “What would happen if the world was turned, in some unthinkable way, on its head?” -- a reality borne out by the 2016 presidential election.

“Trump’s ascension was one of the sources of energy that we meditated on, when it was like, ‘Ahh, that’s ridiculous, that could never happen,’” he explains. Humanz is not a conventional protest album against the American president as much as a party record for the apocalypse that his reign might ultimately lead to; “The sky’s falling, baby, drop that ass before it crash,” Vince Staples proclaims on “Ascension,” which has peaked at No. 11 on the Rock Songs chart. The election was a clear catalyst for those overtones, although Albarn made sure that the lyrics to Humanz don’t give the president any specific credit.

“There’s no references to on the record -- in fact, any time when anyone made any reference, I edited it out,” he says. “I don’t want to give the most famous man on earth any more fame, particularly. He doesn’t need it!”

Hewlett says that the group’s return with their first LP in seven years -- since they released Plastic Beach and The Fall in quick succession in 2010 -- was not the product of grand design, so much as bar talk between the Gorillaz godfathers back in 2014, after Albarn had just played a show in support of his solo album, Everyday Robots. “We went to some party,” says Hewlett, “and in a drunken conversation, he said, ‘Do you want to do more Gorillaz?’ And I said ‘Yeah, do you?’ And he said ‘Yeah.’ And I said ‘Right, then.’ That was the end of the conversation.”

I like it!

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #2-20: You Dropped A Bomb On Me Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #2-20: You Dropped A Bomb On Me Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! This is going to be unusually long this week because we missed a lot being off last week, so bare with us! You know what? I’m back from spring break, I am in a good mood, let’s talk movies. I saw The Fate Of The Furious this week and that was great – might be the best one in the series so far. And I mean really after the disaster that was Tokyo Drift, things can only get better right? And by the way, how great was that trailer for Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi? Whew, man am I looking forward to that! Plus the trailer for Thor: Ragnarock

Right? Oh man that looks so good. “I know this guy! He’s a friend from work!”. That line is a definite win, and it sucks that we have to wait until November to see how this all pans out. Marvel is batting 1.000 right now. They have Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2 which looks awesome (and only a mere 15 days away!). Spiderman: Homecoming looks to be just as good, and then you have Thor: Ragnarok. And I mean who wouldn’t want to see Thor fighting the Hulk? I mean it’s a perfect metaphor for modern society – the establishment (Thor) taking on the ginormous beast known as the Hulk. And that’s not even including Trump’s enormously fat ass. Hey o!!! I’m here all week, don’t forget to tip your waitress! All right, that’s enough of the intro. But first, John Oliver is back and he goes overseas to talk the French elections and their possible impact on the world:

Ladies and gentlemen, returning to the top 3 slots this week is President Trump! Bravo, well done, take a bow! So in the number one slot of course, you know that by now, Trump (1) dropped the “Mother Of All Bombs” on Afghanistan this week. And he fucked up in telling the press which country he was bombing in the first place! I mean seriously! In the second slot, you know the cake from the first slot? Well we're going to appear on the show "Cake Boss" and see how much Donald Trump's (2) claim about Mar-A-Lago having "the best cake" really rings true or not. In the number 3 slot, if you thought Trump (3) celebrates Cinco De Mayo and Thanksgiving as an elitist, wait until you see how he celebrates Easter! So what was Trump doing? If you guessed golf, you are correct sir / madam! Plus we’re going to come up with some other uses for that golf cart rental money he’s been using. In the number 4 slot, we’re going to recap yet another incident at UC Berkeley, only this time, the group attacking now has a name and they’ll be easy to identify at future events – Antifa (4) ! In the number 5 slot is United Airlines (5). Because another incident if you’ve been living under a rock is that you know about the horrific story about the guy dragged out of his seat and beaten senseless by police. But they just keep shooting themselves in the foot over this incident, and several others have popped up in recent weeks. In the number 6 slot is Alex Jones. So Alex Jones (6) and his lawyer claim that his Infowars persona is actually a character like The Joker. So we’re going to channel the Joker and have him explain a few things to Mr. Jones. In the number 7 slot is none other than Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly (7). He is on what we like to call a “sinking ship” thanks to sexual harassment lawsuits and it looks like Fox News might be pulling the plug on the Factor. So no more War On Christmas this year? Taking the 8th slot is Pizzagate founder, and the court jester of the deplorables, Mike Cernovich (8) who might be engaged in some light blackmail if Steve Bannon gets fired from the Trump administration. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!!) slot, we’ve got another installment of “I Need A Drink” because really, I just got back from Spring Break, but I don’t need a drink, I need something much stronger – a joint! And we’re going to talk about all the fun events happening on 4/20 and your source for legal-ish pot. Finally this week, we’ve got the next round of our ongoing Stupidest State Contest, where we’re going to a Fiscal Irresponsibility Showdown. This time, Michigan takes on Kansas, and the winner will face Texas in the battle for which state is greedier. We’re just 3 rounds away from the league championship, and 4 rounds away from the deciding who is going to be our Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State! Things are getting exciting! Plus we have some live music for you, this time from Iration. We’re going to get some reggae up in this joint – and I do emphasize the word joint. Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

Donald Trump

We need some appropriate music for this entry. Can we get that please?

Yeah! We’re getting old school up in this joint! And I need some old school music, because this entry is going to make me, and you very fucking angry! If it hasn’t already. Because Donald Trump and the republicans are quite literally playing with fire when it comes to North Korea. So let’s go through what happened shall we?

Washington (CNN)The US military has dropped an enormous bomb in Afghanistan, according to four US military officials with direct knowledge of the mission.

A GBU-43/B Massive Ordnance Air Blast Bomb, nicknamed MOAB, was dropped at 7 p.m. local time Thursday, the sources said.

The MOAB is also known as the "mother of all bombs." A MOAB is a 21,600-pound, GPS-guided munition that is America's most powerful non-nuclear bomb.

The bomb was dropped by an MC-130 aircraft, operated by Air Force Special Operations Command, according to the military sources.

Read more: http://www.cnn.com/2017/04/13/politics/afghanistan-isis-moab-bomb/index.html

Now if you’re not already angry enough, while we don’t mind that 36 terrorists were killed in the explosion, there’s some other strange musings regarding this story. We’re teetering on the brink of nuclear war. And this shit isn't helping:

YOKOSUKA, Japan — From the wind-swept deck of a massive aircraft carrier, Vice President Mike Pence on Wednesday warned North Korea not to test the resolve of the U.S. military, promising it would make an "overwhelming and effective" response to any use of conventional or nuclear weapons.

Pence, dressed in a green military jacket, said aboard the hulking USS Ronald Reagan that President Donald Trump's administration would continue to "work diligently" with allies like Japan, China and other global powers to apply economic and diplomatic pressure on Pyongyang. But he told the sailors, "as all of you know, readiness is the key.

"The United States of America will always seek peace but under President Trump, the shield stands guard and the sword stands ready," Pence told 2,500 sailors dressed in blue fatigues and Naval baseball caps on a sunny, windy morning aboard the carrier at the U.S. Yokosuka naval base in Tokyo Bay.

Where have I seen this before, I wonder?

And we all know how that ends! You know nuclear war - it’s a step up from regular war in a way that Premium Economy is a step up from Basic Economy - it's still the shitty part of the plane, and it's much more fucking expensive, despite that you get very little back in return for your investment. What do you get in return? A headrest! Ooh, a headrest! That means my neck will be slightly less crooked when I wake up from 13 minutes of sleep on my 6 hour flight from LA to New York! And let's face it, it’s what the military industrial complex really wants.

In its second major display of military might in one week, the US dropped its most powerful non-nuclear bomb on ISIS positions in a remote part of Afghanistan.

Afghan officials said 36 militants were killed in the strike in Nangarhar province, near the Pakistan border. The US military previously estimated ISIS had 600 to 800 fighters operating in the area.
On Thursday night, a GBU-43/B Massive Ordinance Air Blast bomb (MOAB), capable of destroying an area equivalent to nine city blocks, was dropped on a network of fortified underground tunnels ISIS had been using to stage attacks on government forces.

Read more: http://www.cnn.com/2017/04/14/asia/afghanistan-isis-moab-bomb/

George Carlin was right – war is just a big prick waving dick fight and that’s exactly what Mr. Tiny Hands Donald J. Trump is doing. And if you don’t believe he has tiny hands, just look at his gigantic fat ass waddling up a hill on his precious Trump branded golf course:

Where’s Stewie with a Tuba when you need him?

And this guy has the power to declare war, people! I mean it cant get much scarier than that, can it? I mean can it? Well maybe, in a very Bush-era move, if you add in the fact that Trump couldn’t remember what country he just bombed. You know what? Let’s roll tape first.

Last Thursday, April 6, President Donald Trump launched nearly 60 missiles at Syria in response to the deadly chemical attacks that took place earlier in the week. Thursday's strike targeted a Syrian airbase, and Trump's decision to bomb the country was met with mixed reactions from Congress, especially considering that the president did not seek congressional approval before ordering the launch of the missiles.

In a new interview on Fox Business Network, President Trump recounted to Maria Bartiromo the moment he told Chinese president Xi Jinping about his decision to attack Syria. However, there was one major eyebrow-raising instance in the interview: Trump seemed to forget which country he had bombed.

"I was sitting at the table, we had finished dinner, and we're now having dessert," Trump recalls. "And we had the most beautiful piece of chocolate cake that you've ever seen.... And I was given the message from the generals that the ships are locked and loaded." He adds: "I said, 'We’ve just launched 59 missiles, heading to Iraq.'"

Wanna Get Away? That would make a great ad campaign! I mean nothing says “wanna get away” like a world leader having dessert and then forgetting what country he just bombed! Call me, Southwest! But let’s talk about the cake for a minute. “It was the best cake, OK? Tremendous, tremendous cake! I mean the best cake comes from Trump Tower. I love chocolate!”.

President Trump said the United States is "not going into Syria" and recalled to Fox News the moment when he told Chinese President Xi Jinping over dessert that the U.S. had launched airstrikes in Syria.

Despite urging President Obama to stay out of Syria in 2013, Trump told Fox Business' Maria Bartiromo on Tuesday that he believes conditions in the country would not be as bad if Obama had acted earlier.

"When I see people using horrible, horrible chemical weapons, which they agreed not to use under the Obama administration, but they violated it," he said, "what I did should have been done by the Obama administration a long time before I did it. And I think Syria would be a lot better off than it has been."

Trump explained how he told President Xi that the U.S. military had launched airstrikes in Syria in response to the chemical attack.

Donald Trump

Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s time for Cake Boss!!!!

This week on Cake Boss, we’re going to the king of cakes. The sultan of sugar (Sultan Of Sugar, by the way, saw them at the Troub last week, great show!). I’m of course talking about the best cake in the land – the chocolate cake with a very drab scoop of ice cream that’s served at Mar-A-Lago. Why it’s good enough to feed visiting dignitaries and Trump’s fat ass! And we don’t even have to make this one!

Recounting details about his decision to launch missile strikes on a Syrian air base last week, President Donald Trump took several moments during a Fox Business interview that aired Wednesday morning to enthuse about the "most beautiful" chocolate cake he enjoyed at his Palm Beach resort with Chinese President Xi Jinping. Trump was entertaining the Chinese leader at Mar-a-Lago when he ordered the military strike.

"I was sitting at the table, we had finished dinner," Trump told Fox Business host Maria Bartiromo. "We're now having dessert—and we had the most beautiful piece of chocolate cake that you've ever seen—and President Xi was enjoying it."

Bartiromo then said it was "brilliant" that the missiles were "unmanned."

"It's so incredible. It's brilliant," Trump agreed.

Then Trump appeared to momentarily forget which country the United States had attacked last week, naming Iraq instead of Syria.

Because what’s an internet show without some cat memes? I mean come on seriously people! But how good was the cake at Mar-A-Lago? Why it’s good enough to make world leaders forget which country they sent cruise missiles to! Ha ha ha! But how good is a piece of cake really worth? And what does it look like? Well here’s a real, unaltered image!

Doesn’t that look tasty? I mean it just screams class! I’ve made better looking cakes than that, and I’m not exactly what one would call a “professional chef”. And come on, use a bigger scoop of ice cream, damn it! You get that giant piece of chocolate cake with a radioactive red filling in the center, we're presuming it's strawberry, but we could be wrong, and you get just a thimble full of vanilla ice cream? Come on! The place I go to get pie serves you with a giant scoop of ice cream! But really folks, there’s got to be an underlying motive here, doesn’t there? I mean doesn’t there?

Unsafe seafood. Insufficiently refrigerated meats. Rusty shelving. Cooks without hairnets.

Reports show Florida health inspectors cited President Trump's Mar-a-Lago resort with 15 violations in late January, days before the U.S. leader hosted Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe for a diplomatic visit.

Still, the state inspectors allowed the luxury resort's main restaurant and beach club grill to remain open as staff scrambled to make several immediate corrections.

Among the "high priority" problems described as "potentially hazardous" were faulty fridges with meats stored well above the required 41 degrees Fahrenheit. For example, in the restaurant's walk-in cooler, the duck and beef were measured at 50 degrees, while a ham was at 57 degrees.

Other issues included smoked salmon being served without undergoing "proper parasite destruction" and a hand washing sink for employees with water that was not hot enough.

Stephen Lawson, spokesman for the Florida Department of Business and Professional Regulation, said the violations were the result of a routine inspection and not prompted by any consumer complaints or food-borne illnesses.

Oh and it gets so much worse from there ladies and gentlemen! Smoked salmon is great, but smoked salmon without proper parasite destruction? WTF are they serving? Mold in the ice machine?

The January inspections were not the first time authorities have found problems at Mar-a-Lago. Over the last three years, records show the club has been cited 78 times for violations that included chefs handling food without washing their hands, dirty cutting boards, a slicer "soiled with old food debris" and an "accumulation of "black/green mold-like substance" in the ice machine.

And in fact there were over 13 violations in the kitchen alone! So if you’re going to Mar-A-Lago, don’t hesitate to bring your own food! Although, I’m sure President Trump would hate that. Because after all, he serves the best food at Mar-A-Lago and Trump properties all over the world! But at least you can have cake, which is what Marie Antionette would have wanted.

Inspectors reportedly found multiple health code violations at President Trump's Mar-a-Lago resort in Palm Beach, Fla., only days prior to the visit of Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe.

According to a report by the Miami Herald, the inspectors found 13 violations in the resort's kitchen, including undercooled meat and dangerous fish.

The inspectors deemed three of the violations to be “high priority,” which means that they could cause the presence of bacteria on dining room plates.

The state inspectors' latest evaluation of Mar-a-Lago on Jan. 26 revealed that the club's kitchen did not did meet minimum Florida standards.

The inspectors specifically noted the issues with the club's raw or undercooked fish, two of the club’s coolers that were too warm, and other minor violations.

Donald Trump

So we won’t get to cover the Georgia special election this week, but Trump’s latest Tweet storm is something you got to see to believe. Particularly this one:


Learn to spell “Congressional” correctly and we might take you seriously for once. So in case you’re wondering how much Trump flip flops , he flip flops more than the sandals I wore in Hawaii last time I visited. And when you’re in Hawaii, you got to wear sandals and shorts, there really isn’t any other way to go there, am I right? But getting back to Trump and flip flopping, here’s something that you should know – the guy lies so much that his lies are lies, and his truth are lies. In fact he’s a real life Tony Montana. I mean think about it – he lives in a giant mansion in Miami, made his money through questionable means, never questions the other guy’s greed, and he might have gotten high on his own supply. We just don’t know. Plus we know he’s said crazy shit like this:

And with that in mind here’s how much Trump lies:

President Trump on Wednesday flipped to new positions on four different policy issues, backing off of several campaign promises.

In an interview and a press conference, Trump either shifted or completely reversed positions on matters of foreign and economic policy, including how to handle China and the future of the Federal Reserve chairwoman.

Labeling China a currency manipulator

Trump told the Wall Street Journal on Wednesday that China is not artificially deflating the value of its currency, a big change after he repeatedly pledged during his campaign to label the country a currency manipulator.


Janet Yellen's future

Trump also told the Journal he’d consider renominating Yellen to chair the Fed's board of governors despite attacking her during his campaign.

“I like her. I respect her,” Trump said, “It’s very early.”

Trump called Yellen “obviously political” in September and accused her of keeping interest rates low to boost the stock market and make Obama look good.


Export-Import Bank

Trump also threw his support behind the Export-Import Bank, which helps subsidize some U.S. exports, after opposing it during the campaign.

“It turns out that, first of all, lots of small companies are really helped, the vendor companies,” Trump told the Journal. “Instinctively, you would say, ‘Isn’t that a ridiculous thing,’ but actually, it’s a very good thing. And it actually makes money, it could make a lot of money.”

By the way in the case of the Import – Export Bank (IEB), this is what happened this week – it turns out Trump was going to eliminate the branch until someone explained to him how it worked! Hey, someone might want to explain to him how the environment and energy work, too, huh?

We knew Donald Trump wasn't a conservative. We knew he believed in government picking winners and losers. We knew he had an inordinate infatuation with with exports.

We also knew that Trump is thoroughly impressionable, meaning that when the lobbyists, the bankers, and the special interests got his ear — and this being the swamp, that was inevitable — they could probably win him over.

So when Trump said early in the campaign that he didn't think the Export-Import Bank (at that point it was in liquidation) should exist because the private sector can and does finance exports, I didn't get too excited. He was correct on the specific matter, but his personality suggested that this wouldn't last.

But we got to switch subjects and talk about how Trump spent Easter. But for transparency here’s how Obama spent Easter last year:

Talk about going out with a bang. After eight years at the White House, Barack and Michelle Obama are saying goodbye today to one of the presidency's most storied traditions, the Easter Egg Roll. The POTUS and FLOTUS stepped out today to greet the 35,000 attendees, and they were in good company. Beyoncé, Jay Z, and daughter Blue Ivy, Shaquille O'Neal, and Idina Menzel were also in attendence.

After greeting attendees from the balcony of the White House alongside a festive Easter Bunny, the pair shared a sweet kiss before heading down on the lawn to roll some eggs and read to the kids. Both Mr. and Mrs. Obama got very into the story, gesturing with their hands and making funny faces.

And here’s how Trump spent Easter this year:


Trump attended services at the Church of Bethesda-by-the-Sea in Palm Beach along with first lady Melania Trump, daughter Tiffany, son Barron and Melania's parents, a White House spokeswoman said.

The family was to celebrate the rest of the Christian holiday with a brunch at Mar-a-Lago and Easter egg hunt with the families of two of Trump's other adult children, Eric and Donald Trump Junior, the spokeswoman told reporters.

Trump wished a "Happy Easter to everyone!" via his favourite medium, Twitter, and had earlier used his weekly address to mark Easter and the Jewish holiday of Passover.

The religious services were the first attended by Trump since his inaugural weekend in January.

And by the way what else happened at the White House Easter Egg roll? Well there was this.

President Trump’s narcissistic self-absorption and shocking refusal to show even the smallest courtesy or compassion for others was on full display this morning at the annual White House Easter Egg Roll.

Meant to be a day for children to meet the leader of their nation and to have some fun, Trump inevitably made it about himself. When one child asked him to sign his hat, Trump happily did so… before flinging the hat far into the crowd, prompting a cry of rage from the disappointed child who just learned that hard way what kind of a man Donald Trump really is.


Why do I get the feeling that sounds like something that happens in a bad Adam Sandler or Kevin James comedy movie? Stay classy, Trump. As if that’s not deplorable enough, Melania Trump didn’t make things better. Just like everything else Trump does, his first WH Easter Egg roll was a total disaster:

RIP Satire, beginning of civilization – April 15th, 2017. You will be missed. And in case you couldn’t help but wonder about Trump’s arrogance and elitism, we’ve spent the last 3 weeks talking about how much time he’s wasting golfing at Mar-A-Lago. Well, this week, some numbers were released that were pretty staggering, and if this doesn’t make your blood boil, you’re most likely a Trump supporter and watch Fox News as much as he does.:

The Secret Service has spent more than $35,000 on golf cart rentals at President Trump's Mar-a-Lago resort since his inauguration, CBS News reported Friday, as Trump begins another weekend in Florida.

CBS News reported that it had reviewed purchase orders showing $35,185 in costs for renting golf carts during Trump's frequent visits to Palm Beach, Fla.

The president has played several rounds of golf at Trump-branded clubs, including in Florida and Virginia.

Trump has come under fire for his frequent trips, which current estimates show have cost more than $20 million — nearly the amount President Obama spent on travel in his first two years combined. Obama spent approximately $97 million on travel, averaging $12.12 million per year in office.


So what can $35,000 buy you? Time for a little transparency and let’s put things in perspective. Wait a minute, I know! Why don’t we cue up the Top 10 Home Shopping Network? *cue music* Welcome to the Top 10 Home Shopping Network. Today we’re going to show you things that you can buy for $35,000 because that’s what President Trump has spent so far on golf cart rentals. So here’s things that $35,000 can buy you. To start with we have this lovely Volvo S60! For the low low price of $35,000 it comes with a sun roof and GPS navigation service!

Or perhaps cars aren’t your thing. Maybe you’re looking for a place to live. This tiny house, featured on “Tiny Houses” runs approximately $35,000:

Or maybe you’re an Elvis fan. This replica of the ring that the King wore, also cost $35,000!

And you know how much a new golf cart costs? Well this is why facts don’t matter to President Trump. Because this lovely red golf cart from Ez Go costs, get ready - $12,695!


Antifa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That name sounds like it would fit perfectly at the end of that song. In fact play that song again and then scream “Antifa” instead of “Tequila”. Well we need some upbeat music for this next entry because it’s another one that will make you fucking angry. And you know, no matter which side you’re on – whether you’re a Trump supporter or a liberal like we are, we can all agree that people showing up at your rallies wearing ski masks and carrying crowbars aren’t there to join hands, am I right about that? Well let’s discuss

Demonstrators both for and against President Donald Trump clashed in Berkeley, CA Saturday as protests have turned violent.

According to CNN, Berkeley Police issued a statement that said, “A large number of fights have occurred and numerous fireworks have been thrown in the crowds,” Berkeley police said in a statement. “There have also been numerous reports of pepper spray being used in the crowd.”

The Berkeley protest began as a so-called “Patriot’s Day” rally of Trump supporters, but counter-demonstrators quickly assembled and tempers began to flare.

Protesters gathered around the country on Saturday to protest the Trump administration and demand that the former reality TV game show host reveal his tax returns to public scrutiny.

As the Berkeley protest turned violent, social media began to fill with videos taken at the scene.

And yes there is video of this. By the way – can we say that Trump supporters are not in any way shape or form supporting free speech? Especially when they support his illegal deportation plan and the building of the wall? (BTW there is a content warning on this video)

But this isn’t the first time Antifa showed up and things turned violent. Remember the last Berkeley protest over professional tool Milo Yiannopolous? Yup, that was them. In fact there’s more to this story and it was a category 5 shit storm, as was expected.

Berkeley, long a hotbed of political protest, has emerged as a flashpoint in the Trump era.

The latest example of this came Saturday, when clashes between backers and critics of the president resulted in 21 arrests.

Berkeley is one of America’s most liberal cities, with a long history of left-wing activism. Trump supporters used the city as a setting for a Patriots Day rally Saturday.

But it goes beyond protests and counter-protests.

A February scheduled appearance by conservative provocateur Milo Yiannopoulos was canceled amid a violent protest on the UC Berkeley campus. That sparked a national debate — in which Trump himself took part — about the line between the right to demonstrate and protecting free speech that some find objectionable.

And you know when smoke grenades are brought into the picture, they go from alleged terrorist group into full blown terrorist group. And here’s what happened then! I mean this shit gets crazier and crazier!

Hundreds of self-described anti-fascist protesters and supporters of Donald Trump clashed in Berkeley, California, in sporadic brawls on Saturday. Protests in cities around the rest of the country, including a number of “tax marches” in which demonstrators called for Trump to release his tax returns, proceeded more peacefully.

In Berkeley, police told media they had arrested 13 people by mid-afternoon, as opposing rallies spilled out of a park and into the streets.

With several hundred people on each side, the crowds mostly taunted each other with bullhorns, chants and shouts. Occasionally, anti-Trump protesters threw fireworks. Small bands on both sides chased each other or brawled, sometimes with wooden planks, homemade shields, poles and pepper spray.

One standoff at a downtown intersection ended only when a smoke grenade detonated. In confusion, anti-Trump protesters fled as supporters of the president charged after them, attacking stragglers. In one altercation, demonstrators threw a pot of beans at each other.

And boy did shit just get real. In fact it might be a preview for what a modern liberal vs conservative Civil War might look like. And that’s a scary fucking thought. And in that war, we liberals do not want Antifa on our side. In fact, we want to stay very far away from the Antifas and Daily Stormers of the world. And if the Nazis are happy, this can’t be a good thing, can it?

Trump supporters further escalated the situation by scheduling a second rally for March 4, which featured more violence as members of the extreme alt-right movement began mingling with regular Republicans. After even bigger fights broke out at March 25 rallies in Southern California and in Philadelphia, far-right groups decided to descend upon Berkeley to “protect” Trump supporters.

“This is just the beginning,” wrote a member of the neo-Nazi website the Daily Stormer. “This is a sign that we have moved into a new era in the Nazification of America. Normie Trump supporters are becoming racially aware and Jew wise. They are willing to stick up for themselves side by side with Nazis without being adverse to violence.”

And we really did get a preview of Civil War II: Electric Boogaloo Die Harder With A Vengeance at Berkeley on Saturday. Shit is getting really ugly out there, folks. And I mean really ugly.

Most of the demonstrations held on April 15, which was set aside by progressives for marches to demand that Donald Trump reveal his tax returns, were peaceful. The notable exception was the city of Berkeley, California — often described as the most liberal community in the nation — where things rapidly descended into a street fight between radical right-wingers and more left-leaning counterprotesters.

A group of hard-right extremists came to Berkeley to hold a rally in support of Trump. While they are, of course, claiming that they only resorted to violence in self-defense, it’s clear from the social-media organizing done ahead of time that their intention was to start a riot.


By the way let’s take a look at some of these winners for a minute. I mean both Antifa and Daily Stormer were looking for a beat down on both sides. It wasn’t just a peaceful demonstration. Nope, this was a full on category 5 shit storm. But the Daily Stormers were going full on Insane Clown Deplorable:

In fact, in Civil War II: Electric Boogaloo Die Harder With A Vengeance, I’d rather not have Antifa on our side. And by the way, why do Trump supporters think they support free speech more than we do? I think we need to have that discussion at some point? These guys fail at explaining what free speech means.

The melee that erupted in Berkeley on Saturday in the name of free speech was nothing like the Free Speech movement there a half-century back.

Starting around 10 a.m., protesters from both the far right and the far left gathered in a park next to City Hall. For the first few hours they stood on opposite sides of a no-man’s land space that police had set up with orange webbed fencing in the park. There were good-natured taunts between the opposing sides initially, but as more and more people arrived—eventually more than 2,000—the exchanges turned into name-calling and jeers. Police were able to temporarily maintain peace because they had confiscated flagpoles, bats, pipes, sticks, knives and other items as people entered the park. Police also positioned themselves in the neutral zone when the shouting got too intense.

By 1 p.m., all semblances of order or peaceful protest were gone. The two sides had moved onto city streets and set upon each other with fists, M-80 firecrackers, and pepper spray. They hurled bagels, soda cans and even dumpsters back and forth as police largely stood by. The policy of the Berkeley Police Department is not to break up small fights as police involvement might result in more violence and injuries. Even so, 20 people were arrested by the end of the day, and 11 protesters reported injured.

And in case you think we’re not done in Berkeley – get ready! Look who’s coming over for dinner! Are they going for the idiot trifecta over at Berkeley? I’ve got some good odds saying they are! You might want to stock up on plenty of butter for round 3!

This bridge has a troll. And nothing good can come of trying to cross it.

On April 27, right-wing “polemicist” Ann Coulter will come to speak on campus about illegal immigration as part of a three-part series hosted by newly founded campus club bridgeCal.

Why this club thought Coulter was a reputable source to speak on an immigration is beyond us. With her past incendiary remarks toward Muslims, Mexicans and many other communities of color, Coulter has shown an unwillingness to partake in intellectual discourse. Simply put, she would astonish us if she sparked meaningful dialogue on campus.

Oh come on Berkeley, you should realize that having Ann Coulter "bridge the gap" between liberals and conservatives is like having Goldman Sachs executives teach a class on wealth management, or having Alex Jones teach an anger management class, or having Rush Limbaugh teach hot yoga. You might as well literally shoot yourselves in the foot! But still...

United Airlines

Well if you’re United Airlines the last week has been rough. “Ooh boy, it was rough I tell ya, a plane made an emergency landing, and no one got hurt. And that was the best thing that happened to me last week!”. Thank you Mr. Dangerfield. And yes that actually did happen!

A United Airlines flight this morning turned back to San Francisco International Airport because of a mechanical problem, an airport official said.

United Airlines Flight 1721 was on its way to Kona International Airport in Hawaii when it turned around and made an emergency landing.

Airlines spokeswoman Maggie Schmerin said the problem was a maintenance issue.

And that’s probably the best thing that happened to United Airlines this week! Hey o!! Because unless you’re living under a rock, by now you know the extremely horrifying tale of Dr. David Dao, who was traveling from Chicago to Atlanta, and you know the video, we wont show it, but did you know that United may have tried to PR smear the wrong guy?

Questions have inevitably started to be asked: who dug up those details about David Dao’s apparent medical misdemeanour or the gay sex he supposedly had with a younger man, and why? Did they even check that those details related to the David Dao who was dragged off Flight 3411 in Chicago? There is presently confusion about whether the man on the United flight was actually David Thanh Duc Dao, quite possibly another person entirely to David Anh Duy Dao, the man with the criminal records.


And that’s not all. The United flub will be forever remembered as a lesson in how *NOT* to do public relations. And I think the only way things could be worse is if you hire Sean Spicer as your PR guy. And then this happened and it’s not something you want to be the receiving end of, much like you don’t want to be on the receiving end of a flaming bag of dog shit:


...Another United employee told passengers that the plane would not leave until four people got off, Mr. Bridges said. The employee then specified that the airline had four United employees who needed to get to Louisville, he said...

A United employee first approached a couple that appeared to be in their mid-20s, Mr. Bridges said, and the pair begrudgingly got off the plane. Then the United employee went to a man five rows behind Mr. Bridges, and told him he needed to get off the plane. The man told the employee, “I’m not getting off the plane. I’m a doctor, I have to see patients in the morning,” Mr. Bridges said.

“We explained the scenario to the customer,” Mr. Hobart said. “That customer chose not to get out of his seat.”

The situation became uncomfortable for the United employees who then got on board and took the vacated seats, Mr. Bridges said. They were berated by passengers and told they should be ashamed, he said.

And you know remember the movie Airplane? I mean how appropriate is this scene now?

You know I must be boring – shit never happens on my flights. I flew American last week – nothing of anything interesting happened. I did get to watch the Zach Galafinakis flick “Masterminds” which was pretty funny. And I also watched the Ryan Gosling / Russell Crowe flick “The Nice Guys” which was great, loved it. But that’s about it. And then this just happened, once again United Airlines shoot themselves in the foot:

When Michael Hohl and fiancée Amber Maxwell boarded a flight in Houston, Texas Saturday afternoon, they said they expected to be in Costa Rica that evening with friends and family members preparing for their destination wedding.

Instead, the Utah couple found themselves stranded in a layover city after they said a U.S. Marshal asked them to leave the aircraft, several news outlets reported. Their reported deplaning followed a controversial viral video last week which showed police officers dragging a doctor off a United Express flight in Chicago when the flight was overbooked.

In a statement, the airline said the couple “repeatedly attempted to sit in upgraded seating which they did not purchase and they would not follow crew instructions to return to their assigned seats.”

But the couple denied to several news outlets that they were trying to sit in a better section of the plane.

Read more here: http://www.sacbee.com/news/nation-world/national/article144973654.html#storylink=cpy

But then my favorite part of this whole cluster fuck is that the United CEO said they wont drag people off planes anymore:

Not quite a full month ago, before #LeggingsGate and dragging-gate and the accompanying public scorn, United Airlines Chief Executive Oscar Munoz put on a bow tie and ascended a stage in New York for the self-styled "Oscars of the PR world."

Munoz had just been named PRWeek's "Communicator of the Year," an honor he shared with gay rights pioneer Edie Windsor and Malala Yousafzai, a young Pakistani activist who survived being shot in the head by the Taliban for championing women's rights.

Munoz had not done anything like that. But he had, PRWeek explained, rehabilitated the image of an airline once tangled in multiple image crises — unpopular with employees and customers alike.

"Communication and communication strategy is not just part of the game, it is the game," Munoz said as he accepted PRWeek's award.

Alex Jones

So by now you know Alex Jones is under fire for threatening California Congressman Adam Schiff. And here’s what happened. I love that the GOP says that they’re “pro free speech” when they’re really not, and by attacking the media and threatening people they disagree with, they hurt free speech more than anybody! It’s how republicans are able to get away with legalizing silencers and calling it “hearing protection”. Well here’s what Alex Jones did.

Law enforcement officials are not saying whether they will charge broadcaster Alex Jones, the right-wing conspiracy theorist ally of President Donald Trump, for publicly threatening to “beat” Representative Adam Schiff (D-Calif.) and telling Schiff to “fill your hand”—a reference to taking up a pistol.

But, says an attorney with expertise in federal law, Jones’s threats appear to break a federal law, U.S. Code Title 18, Section 115, which makes it illegal to threaten to assault a U.S. official and provides a penalty of up to six years in prison.

“I do think that the combination of Jones’s comments would amount to a threat,” says Amanda Berman, director of legal affairs with Lawfare Project, a consortium of experts on national security law. “It seems to be a clear provocation. Ultimately, the question would have to be put to a judge or jury, but I think there is a legal basis for a conviction based on Jones’s threat, which was made ‘with intent to impede, intimidate or interfere’ with Congressman Schiff’s exercise of his duties as the ranking member of the committee investigating the connection between the Trump campaign/administration and the Russians.”

Schiff likely became a Jones target because he is the ranking Democrat on the House Intelligence Committee, which is investigating possible ties between the Trump campaign and Russia. Schiff has said there is “more than circumstantial” evidence of collusion between Trump associates and Russia.

Read more: http://www.newsweek.com/alex-jones-threat-congressman-may-be-felony-579730

But here’s why the Joker, er, Alex Jones is in the news this week. I love this defense so much. So did you know that Alex Jones is involved in a bitter divorce and custody battle? Wait, wait – back up! Somebody married this guy? And he has children? Someone swiped right on the only guy in the US who has bigger rage issues than Trump does? The guy who said that Hillary Clinton was involved in a child sex ring and that the murder of 20 school children was all an act? That fucking guy reproduced?

At a recent pretrial hearing, attorney Randall Wilhite told state District Judge Orlinda Naranjo that using his client Alex Jones’ on-air Infowars persona to evaluate Alex Jones as a father would be like judging Jack Nicholson in a custody dispute based on his performance as the Joker in “Batman.” “He’s playing a character,” Wilhite said of Jones. “He is a performance artist.”

But in emotional testimony at the hearing, Kelly Jones, who is seeking to gain sole or joint custody of her three children with Alex Jones, portrayed the volcanic public figure as the real Alex Jones.

“He’s not a stable person,” she said of the man with whom her 14-year-old son and 9- and 12-year-old daughters have lived since her 2015 divorce. “He says he wants to break Alec Baldwin’s neck. He wants J-Lo to get raped.

So his lawyers are claiming that his Infowars persona is all an act. Much like Jack Nicholsoh’s Joker. And why did they choose Jack Nicholson’s Joker? Why not the much better Heath Ledger? Or the much worse Ben Affleck?

At a recent pretrial hearing, attorney Randall Wilhite told state District Judge Orlinda Naranjo that using his client Alex Jones’ on-air Infowars persona to evaluate Alex Jones as a father would be like judging Jack Nicholson in a custody dispute based on his performance as the Joker in “Batman.”

“He’s playing a character,” Wilhite said of Jones. “He is a performance artist.”

But in emotional testimony at the hearing, Kelly Jones, who is seeking to gain sole or joint custody of her three children with Alex Jones, portrayed the volcanic public figure as the real Alex Jones.

“He’s not a stable person,” she said of the man with whom her 14-year-old son and 9- and 12-year-old daughters have lived since her 2015 divorce. “He says he wants to break Alec Baldwin’s neck. He wants J-Lo to get raped.

What would a dialogue between the Joker and Alex Jones sound like? You know we obtained an actual transcript of a conversation between Jones and the Joker.

Joker: You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?
Alex: Oh my god, I can’t believe you would say that! I can’t believe that you’re blabbing this to the mainstream media when babies are being poisoned by vaccines! You’re more concerned about what the devil is doing to you in the form of globalism and the illuminati via mind control and satellites? Look all around you man! This is the end times we’re living in!
Joker: You remind me of my father! I hate my father!
Alex: Fathers are a myth perpetuated by the mainstream media to trick you into thinking that parents are a vial part of modern society! It’s not! It’s just the globalists and the Clinton agenda who are tricking you into supporting gay families! It is not Christian! WE ARE MEN!!! THIS IS WHO WE ARE!!! YOU ARE A TERRIBLE HUMAN BEING!!!
Joker: Why don’t I cut you up into little pieces and feed you to your pooches? Then we can see how loyal a hungry dog really is!
Joker: You know how I got these scars?
Alex: I am sorry to our Christian affiliates. I won’t let this happen again. I am a Christian first and foremost, I usually don’t get that angry.

End scene! Thank you! Oh and here’s one of my favorite parts of this whole thing – Alex Jones goes full on cartoon crazy in his rebuttal to this madness! I mean you can’t make this shit up!

In a rambling message filmed from his car this morning, Alex Jones repeatedly insisted that he is not an actor—a characterization of Jones made by his own lawyer during an ongoing custody battle.

Jones’ attorney recently said that the “InfoWars” broadcaster is simply “playing a character” on his conspiracy theory radio program. The right-wing talk show host is []involved in a custody lawsuit with his ex-wife, whose attorneys want jurors to see footage of Jones’ unhinged and explosive outbursts. His attorney, however, said that his manic and sometimes violent statements are not relevant in the dispute since he is “a performance artist.”

While he did not specifically address his own lawyer’s statements in the video message, Jones said that “we’re all actors, but I believe in what I stand for—I’m not an actor as my main identity.”

Bill O’Reilly

We were originally going to talk about the show Survivor in this entry but I didn’t like the entry, so we’re going to change it up and talk about Bill O’Reilly instead. Whew, I mean holy fucking shit. Talk about what’s called a “sinking ship”. This is what we call a category 6 shit storm. It’s way worse than a category 5 in that the shit is literally hitting the fan, and is getting caught up in what we call a shit cyclone, meaning that the shit is getting recirculated. And that’s not a good thing, especially at the Gentlemen’s Leisure Club known as Fox News, where Jabba The Hutt – Roger Ailes – has already been booted, and now it looks like they’re going after their main man next. So let’s go through what happened.

Bill O'Reilly's future at Fox News is the number one topic among Manhattan media executives, entertainment agents and journalists. But the network is keeping mum. Seemingly the only place where it isn't being discussed is on Fox News.

Neither O'Reilly nor Fox has said much about last weekend's report in the New York Times about settlements with five different women who accused the host of sexual harassment or verbal abuse. The matter has only been addressed briefly on Fox's air, and O'Reilly hasn't discussed it in the two editions of his show, "The O'Reilly Factor," that have aired since the story broke.

Fox's strategy of silence might make sense for now, given that O'Reilly is more than just a profit center for the company: he is an institution there, almost inseparable from the network, and long seemingly invincible.

Then again, that's exactly what media observers said last summer when Roger Ailes was sued by former Fox News anchor Gretchen Carlson for sexual harassment. Ailes resigned two weeks later.

That did indeed go south. But you know – I think the question needs to be asked – if we’re so concerned with sexual harassment in this country, why the fuck did Donald Trump get elected president? I mean… thank you! But even the pussy grabber in chief thinks that Bill O’Reilly didn’t do anything wrong. I mean… gee… you know what they say about “birds of a feather flock together”, am I not right about that?

WASHINGTON — President Trump said on Wednesday that Susan E. Rice, the former national security adviser, may have committed a crime by seeking to learn the identities of Trump associates swept up in surveillance of foreign officials by United States spy agencies, repeating an assertion his allies in the news media have been making since last week.

Mr. Trump gave no evidence to support his claim, and current and former intelligence officials from both Republican and Democratic administrations have said they do not believe Ms. Rice’s actions were unusual or unlawful. The president repeatedly rebuffed attempts by two New York Times reporters to learn more about what led him to the conclusion, saying he would talk more about it “at the right time.”

The allegation by a sitting president was a remarkable escalation — and, his critics say, the latest effort to change the story at a time when his nascent administration has been consumed by questions about any role his associates may have played in a Russian campaign to disrupt last year’s presidential election.

So even Trump himself is playing the “nothing to see here” card in regards to Bill O’Reilly, which is extremely telling about Trump’s past aggressions with women. So how much hot water is Bill O’Reilly in in regards to his sexual harassment discrepancies? Well… this might take the cake, and not the cake served at Trump Tower.

What once seemed unimaginable now seems at least possible.

New York Magazine’s Gabriel Sherman reported Tuesday that the Murdoch family is “leaning” toward pulling Bill O’Reilly off of Fox News’ airwaves in the middle of growing pressure from advertisers and activist groups.

The report comes amid a separate claim by attorney Lisa Bloom that O’Reilly used to call a black woman who worked as a clerical worker at Fox News “hot chocolate” during her time at the network in 2008. The television host would reportedly make her feel uncomfortable in other ways as well.

“He would never talk to her, not even hello, except to grunt at her like a wild boar,” Bloom told The Hollywood Reporter. “He would leer at her. He would always do this when no one else was around and she was scared.”


So the line between human and animal has officially been blurred. Remember when men actually acted like men and not animals like Bill O’Reilly and Alex Jones? This is what passes for being a man in 2017 – treating women like shit and acting like unsophisticated animals? If so then I want no part of it, and I am a white male. This is what passes for being a “bad ass”? I mean this is Kid Rock’s definition of “bad ass”!

And the republicans want this guy to run for senate! You know – the party who says that “oh celebrities should stay out of politics”! Shut the fuck up! Well, back to Bill O’Reilly for a minute… you know what? His Factor show on 4/12, may have been his last:

Fox News will no longer even respond to questions about whether Bill O'Reilly will return to his show.

The fact that none of these sources were willing to go on the record speaks to the delicate maneuvering underway.

The network's parent company, 21st Century Fox (FOX), will hold a board meeting on Thursday, a spokeswoman told CNNMoney. One of the sources said O'Reilly will be a primary topic.

The Murdochs, the men who control 21st Century Fox, are pointedly not commenting on any of this.

Read more: http://money.cnn.com/2017/04/18/media/bill-oreilly-fox-news-exit/index.html

Mike Cernovich

Before we get into this entry, you know folks - context matters. And this is real. This happened.

Excuse me a minute...

So we got to go back to the Berkeley outing for a minute. So chief Trump troll (try saying that one five times fast!) and Pizzagate co-conspirator Mike Cernovich was back in the news this week. Not just for leading the Idiot Patrol, er, “Free Speech Brigade” through UC Berkeley, that happened. First off, someone is feeding this troll inside information. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned in all my various years on the internet, it’s that you do not feed the troll. Oh, no, good sir / madam, never, ever feed the troll!

Just days after Donald Trump Jr. suggested he be given a Pulitzer Prize, Cernovich tweeted, “Sources telling me U.S. attack in Syria planned for tonight, we must stop! #NoMoreWar,” at 7:40 pm Eastern time, an hour and a half before NBC News broke the news of the airstrike.

7:40 p.m.
Fifty-nine Tomahawk missiles were launched from Navy destroyers in the eastern Mediterranean. All 59 hit their target.

8:30 p.m.
Notification of foreign leaders and congressional leadership began. The vice president called several congressional leaders and began calling some foreign leaders. The secretary of State, the secretary of Defense, national security adviser and others were also involved in making those phone calls to...heads of government, defense ministers and congressional leaders.


And as if the trolls didn’t need more feeding at Berkeley, Mike Cernovich is falsely claiming he was assaulted by those Antifa morons we talked about earlier in the show.

Alt-right blogger Mike Cernovich was reportedly punched in the face while heckling protesters at demonstration against President Donald Trump over the weekend.

According to AOL News, Cernovich showed up on Saturday at tax day rally in Austin ..............

The video shows a protester chanting “Show your taxes” before Cernovich begins to shout, “I’m being assaulted. I’m being pushed I’m under assault. I have a free speech right.”

“Look at the hatred in their eyes and in their hearts,” he yells.

A second video shows a man swinging his fist, which Cernovich claimed was a “shot” at him.

Cernovich is known for pushing the debunked “Pizzagate” conspiracy theory.......................
Watch the video below.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! And yes there sadly is tape of this.


I mean really could these asshats be any more deplorable? And you know what? Could the guy who punched Cernovich in the face and the guy who punched Richard Spencer in the face come to my show please? I’d like you to stay for an interview and a couple of beers! But here’s the main reason why chief Trump troll Cernovich is in the news this week.

If senior White House advisor Steve Bannon goes, alt-right leader and Pizzagate inventor Mike Cernovich will release his own plague of secret information that will “destroy marriages.”

The Daily Beast captured an 11-minute Periscope video from Cernovich that threatened of a series of “scoops” that could bring people down.

Bannon was thought to be on the outs as he’s said to have alienated President Donald Trump’s son-in-law Jared Kushner. Trump said in an interview this week that he serves as his own strategist. When asked about the feud, Trump claimed, “I told them to straighten it out or I will.”

Who needs butter?

Well he already planted one fake news story on Susan Rice a couple of weeks ago. So what does he have on them?
The phony Susan Rice story, explained

The former national security advisor’s surveillance activity is neither illegal or unethical.
National Security Advisor Susan Rice follows President Barack Obama across the South Lawn of the White House in Washington, to board Marine One, Thursday, July 7, 2016. CREDIT: AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster

Conservatives are seizing on a report that former national security advisor Susan Rice requested the identity of anonymous people named in intelligence reports, claiming that it provides evidence for President Trump’s false claim that Trump Tower was wiretapped.

Bloomberg’s Eli Lake reported Monday that Rice requested the “unmasking” of third parties whose information is collected during targeted surveillance of other individuals. Conservative media jumped on the claim and reported that it corroborates Rep. Devin Nunes (R-CA), chairman of the House Intelligence Committee’s allegation that information about Trump’s transition team had been “incidentally collected” during U.S. government surveillance of foreign officials.

420 Events

It’s now time for another installment of:

You know what? Fuck it, I need a joint. And can we get some appropriate music?

Especially before Jeff Sessions unleashes The War On Drugs II: Electric Boogaloo Die Harder. Ah yeah that’s some good shit right there! And it has to be some good shit because you don’t want to smoke the wrong ganja. Am I right about that? Because… yeah… we don’t want you here at the Top 10 to think it’s all about negativity. No, we want you to leave here with a positive vibe. Especially since it’s legal now!

SAN FRANCISCO (KPIX 5) — We’re less than a month away from the 4/20 festival at San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park.

But the pot-smoking holiday will look a lot different this year.

Every year thousands of stoners converge on the park’s Hippie Hill to celebrate 4/20.

Sarah Madland Director of Policy and Public Affairs at the San Francisco Recreation and Parks Department said, “This has been a rogue kind of spontaneous thing.

And for just as long, the city’s police and officials have chosen to sit back, hope for the best and then spend around $50,000 cleaning up after everyone.

And there’s other 420 Events that you could choose to go to if you’re into smoking the reefer. You can go watch 2 Chainz in downtown Denver celebrating 4/20. I don’t know if you’ve ever been to Denver since weed was made legal in Colorado, but on 4/20 downtown Denver is so smoky that it gets a contact high!

Following a 2016 event that was postponed because of a snowstorm and finally staged a month later, the 2017 Denver 4/20 Rally is scheduled to take place on the actual date of April 20 for the first time in four years. That means it should happen on a Thursday instead of a weekend, but this timing hasn't caused promoter Santino Walter of Civic Center Park Productions to lower his expectations for the gathering, which is centered around a free concert headlined by 2 Chainz.

"I think it's going to be huge," Walter says. "Denver is still the biggest destination to travel to and legally buy and consume retail cannabis for 4/20. You can see it in the way the hotels are already booked out, the cost of flights out here, how flights are booked up, the amount of superstar celebrities who will be in our city the four or five days of 4/20 weekend. So I think we're probably going to have the largest event we've ever had."

When he's asked if there were any lessons learned from last year's postponement, Walter is adamant: "No. That is a major misconception." Granted, the ultra-late postponement of the 2016 rally stirred controversy, and Walter says decisions about any possible weather-related delays will be made at least 24 hours in advance going forward. But otherwise, he sees the way things worked out as having been "a gift from God."

God, I love that movie! Or maybe go to Miami where there’s going to be some bumping 4/20 parties, and don’t tell Jeff Sessions!

Much like Super Bowl Sunday (and the Hangover Monday that follows), April 20 — or 4/20 — has become an unofficial holiday. Employees will call in sick and students will skip classes. It’s a national day of stoned joy resulting from the now-mainstream embrace of those three simple numbers: 4, 2, and 0.

The date has been nearly ubiquitous in weed culture for the past 30-odd years. The term originated with a group of California potheads in the '70s and was popularized by the Grateful Dead once the bandmates caught a whiff of the super-duper-secret code and spread its use with every show thereafter. Considering the close relationship marijuana has enjoyed with music for the better part of the past half-century, it seems natural that a rock 'n' roll jam band became the Johnny Appleseeds of planting 4/20 in the minds of the masses.

But whatever you do, don’t be like this douchebag and start selling tickets to free events. That shit isn’t cool, and it definitely doesn’t fly here at the Top 10!

People have been flocking to Hippie Hill for years to smoke weed on 4/20, and now someone is apparently trying to capitalize on the occasion by selling tickets.

The only problem? The event in Golden Gate Park is free of charge.

The opportunist is advertising the event as "HIPPY HILL 420 EVENT IN GOLDEN GATE PARK" on Eventbrite. Beyond the fact they misspelled Hippie Hill, the tickets are $20 each.

According to the Eventbrite page, the organizer is "Kind Friends Advertisement." A Google search yields nothing on the organizer, and their profile page on Eventbrite is empty.

Stupidest State Contest Round 11: Michigan Vs. Kansas

16 states will enter, and only one state will be crowned the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State! If you need a reminder of the conferences, there’s the Batshit Conference, the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference, the Gun Nut Conference, and the Family Values Conference. Last week – Tennessee showed Alabama who’s boss when it came to which state hurt their LGBT citizens the most, and they utterly destroyed them in the competition to advance to the next round. So two states have advanced to the Final Four – Tennessee, and Texas. So who will their challengers be? We have two more conference finals – the Fiscal Irresponsibility Championships and the Gun Nut Championships. This week, Texas is awaiting their opponent – and we’re headed back to the land of greed and irresponsible spending. The Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference – you know, where your governor will roll your rights as a worker back to the stone age, while he walks away with a giant sack of that sweet, sweet green. And by green of course, I mean money. Not marijuana, you stoners! Let’s get out our brackets shall we?

Round 11: Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference Championship: #5 Michigan Vs. #7 Kansas


So the Kansas Jayhawks nearly won the actual Final Four. Except they didn’t. But will they win this Final Four? Only time can tell. In the last round it was a tossup as to whether or not Kansas would beat Chris Christie’s New Jersey. But there’s no denying that Sam Brownback is one of the single most evil people in all of America. So in case you’re wondering why Kansas makes the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference every tournament, well, there’s their Tea Party darling of a governor, Sam Brownback. And Sam Brownback embodies everything that is soulless and wrong with the Tea Party. And the Tea Party mantra is cut spending, cut spending, cut spending. Well, here’s how spending was cut. Behind door #1:

Kansas Governor Sam Brownback on Thursday vetoed a bill expanding eligibility for Medicaid under the federal Affordable Care Act (ACA), saying he could not support legislation that provided tax dollars to Planned Parenthood.

State lawmakers in the Republican-controlled senate voted in favor of the measure on Tuesday, just days after President Donald Trump’s efforts to repeal and replace the ACA, also known as Obamacare, ended with the bill being pulled from a vote.

Read more: http://www.rawstory.com/2017/03/kansas-governor-sam-brownback-vetoes-medicaid-expansion-bill/

But there’s got to be more to make Sam Brownback the reigning king of Fiscal Irresponsibility. If there’s one thing the GOP hates, it’s the perception of people getting free handouts. I mean first off, aren’t all handouts free? And second, these people suck. Just a big, steaming bag of suck.

Gov. Sam Brownback’s office announced $97 million in budget cuts on Wednesday, with more than half of that coming from the state’s Medicaid system.

Most state agencies will have a 4 percent cut. The governor exempted the Department of Corrections, the Kansas Bureau of Investigation, the Kansas Highway Patrol and state hospitals.

Public K-12 education, which represents half of the state’s general fund budget, also was shielded from cuts. Lawmakers had written that provision into the budget bill.

Medicaid, which provides health care for low-income Kansans, accounts for 20 percent of the state’s general fund budget and shouldered the brunt of the budget cuts. The Kansas Department of Health and Environment and the Kansas Department for Aging and Disability Services, the two agencies that administer the program, saw $57.4 million in combined cuts.

In case you’re wondering how much shit Kansas is in economically and how it will translate to the rest of the country, here’s how fucked up it is.


Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback, the Republican responsible for the state’s business-friendly tax policies, is now trying to erase any evidence of just how wildly unsuccessful his Reaganomics experiment has proved.

Last month the state’s Council of Economic Advisors, which Brownback created in 2011 and still chairs, quietly discontinued quarterly reports originally intended to showcase the state’s rapid economic growth. (During Brownback’s re-election campaign in 2014, the reports were scrubbed from the internet and subsequently available only upon request.)

The council issued what ended up being its last report in May.

Brownback “specifically asked the council to hold him accountable through rigorous performance metrics,” Heidi Holliday, executive director of the Kansas Center for Economic Growth, told The Topeka Capital-Journal. “Five years later, the metrics clearly show his tax experiment has failed while business leaders and local chambers of commerce across the state openly ask him to change course.”

Wow, that’s another good one! But we have barely scratched the surface on the Kansas Tea Party’s insane greed and corruption. Although some good news for Sam Brownback. You know we don’t want you to think the Top 10 is all about negativity. No, we want you to have the Top 10 as a positive feeling. And there’s some good news – Sam Brownback is no longer America’s least popular governor. And we don’t need to hold an America’s Next Least Popular Governor Contest to find out who it is!

Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback has lost a title he probably didn’t care for much in the first place.

The Republican is now the second least popular governor in the country. Missouri Democrat Claire McCaskill, meanwhile, is among the least popular U.S. senators, according to a new poll released Tuesday.

Who’s the least popular governor in the U.S.? That would be Chris Christie of New Jersey.

Morning Consult, a media and survey research company based in the nation’s capital, said it polled more than 85,000 registered voters across the country from January to March in an effort to determine American public officials’ approval rankings.

Read more here: http://www.kansascity.com/news/politics-government/article143945244.html#storylink=cpy

Why yes! The new least popular governor in the country was none other than the governor of the state that was Kansas’ competition for this tournament! And that is Donald Trump stage prop Chris Christie! I mean ya gotta wonder how these assholes keep getting elected! But there’s far more. Sam Brownback, like the good republican he is, often passes the blame onto others in the event he loses. And it looks like the GOP might actually lose a seat in Kansas. And you know who he would blame?

In the first test for the so-called resistance movement, Democrats are claiming a real surge of energy coming into Tuesday’s special election to replace Republican Rep. Mike Pompeo, who vacated the seat to serve as President Donald Trump’s CIA director. But if the Democratic candidate can, by some small miracle, pull off an upset in the deeply red state, it will be thanks in large part to Kansas Republican Gov. Sam Brownback.

The wave of moderate Republicans who swept last year’s GOP primaries should have been Brownback’s first clue that a revolt was brewing in his own party. Fourteen conservative state legislators allied with the governor were ousted in favor of more moderate Republicans who were critical of America’s least popular governor and his failed trickle-down economics experiment in the Sunflower State. Last month, in a stunning rebuke of Brownback, Republicans passed a bill to expand Medicaid in the state — an extremely popular move that Brownback vetoed.

In the first election since Brownback’s most controversial move and just ahead of the 100-day anniversary of what can at best be described as a tumultuous first 100 days in office for President Donald Trump, Republicans are bracing for blowback. It may very well be the longest of longshots, but for the first time in a long time, Democrats actually have a shot in the district that houses Koch Industries, owned by right-wing billionaires Charles and David Koch.

I mean even fucking Wall St is thinking that Sam Brownback is a complete and utter disaster. When you’re on the bad side of Wall Street, that is not a side you want to be on!

It turns out the companies in charge of assessing whether a state is on stable financial footing aren't fans of trickle down economics. Tax cuts passed five years ago at the behest of Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback (R) have left the state in perilous fiscal shape. And now, one of the major ratings organizations is warning that it might lower the state's credit rating after Brownback vetoed tax increases last week.

Early in his tenure as governor, Brownback pushed a series of steep income and business tax cuts—the biggest in state history, with the benefits heavily tilted to the wealthy—as a means of juicing the state's economy. The cuts, he argued, would spur massive job growth and bring in enough new revenue to offset the lower tax rates.

That hasn't panned out. Tax collections have regularly come in far below expectations in recent years, leaving Kansas lawmakers scrambling to slash government services in order to comply with a state law requiring a balanced budget. (Most states, unlike the federal government, have balanced budget requirements.)

But some good news, Sam Brownback may soon no longer even be the governor. Apparently he was tapped by Trump to be the head of a lucrative United Nations post. Yes, he has gone from bankrupting Kansas, to possibly bankrupting the world!

Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback (R) will soon be given a plum United Nations job by President Donald Trump, multiple news outlets in the state reported last week.

Neither the governor’s office nor the White House has confirmed the reports, which quote sources alternately describe it as a “done deal” and “more tentative than that.” The job would take Brownback to and from Rome, where the cluster of U.N. agencies he would be be charged with assisting are based.

Under normal circumstances there might be little to say about one politician setting another up with a cushy gig on the Mediterranean. But Brownback would be fleeing a political and economic crisis, leaving about 3 million Kansans behind in a budgetary inferno of his own devising.


Next up in our Stupidest State contest is the return of the other reigning king of Fiscal Irresponsibility – the Great Lakes State - Michigan. Michigan is unique for its’ Upper Peninsula – a hotbed for hunters and white supremacists alike. By the way, if you want a feel for what it's like to live in the Upper Peninsula - Jeff Daniels is from Central Michigan. Yes, the same Jeff Daniels who was in Dumb & Dumber, The Martian, and The Newsroom. He directed a movie about elk hunting called "Escanaba In Da Moonlight". It's very low budget but you definitely will know what's it's like to live in the UP after watching this flick. Plus lots and lots of drinking! Michigan is the home of such universities as my mother’s alma matter – Michigan State University (go Spartans!), the University of Michigan, my brother’s alma matter Wayne State, and several other noted universities. Michigan is also the home of world class sports teams including the Detroit Tigers, the Detroit Pistons, and of course Hockey Town USA, the Detroit Red Wings! Where fans are known to do this:

And we do have to mention one hilarious and quite stinky story before we get started on all things Michigan that happened this week after Joe Louis Arena finally closed:

The Detroit Red Wings won their final game at Joe Louis Arena on Sunday, 4-1 over the burnt-out husk known as the New Jersey Devils, as the Wings bid farewell to their home since 1979 before moving to their new digs at Little Caesars Arena next season.

It was a glorious day of celebration and misty-eyed nostalgia, as former Red Wings greats acted as the ice crew to shovel during the second period and fans were treated to memories made in that arena through the decades. Here’s what the final minutes in the history of the Joe sounded like from the stands:

I like that one! So what else has Michigan been up to since we last visited them? You know the toxic water crisis in Flint is only getting worse by the day. In fact you know who one of the biggest problems with Flint actually was? If you guessed it’s a giant, evil corporation then you’re 100% correct! And of course it’s Nestle Waters.

BIG RAPIDS, MI - The Flint water crisis loomed large Wednesday night over a state public hearing where almost 500 people gathered to weigh in on whether Nestle should be able to draw more groundwater to bottle and sell.

"The injustice of this situation could not be starker," said Liz Kirkwood, executive director of For Love of Water (FLOW). "At the same time the people of Flint are forced to drink bottled water, the state is considering authorizing a water grab for a $200 fee."

Fifty-five people opposed the company's permit application during the public hearing, urging the Michigan Department of Environmental Quality to protect the state's water instead of kowtowing to Nestle.

But there is some good news on the Flint front – the Michigan House recently voted to send $100 million to Flint, but hopefully the Flint City Council will use it for its’ intended purpose and not funnel the money back to themselves!

LANSING, MI -- More than 100 activists gathered at the Capitol Wednesday in celebration of World Water Day, and the House of Representatives voted to send $100 million in federal funds to the city of Flint to help address its water crisis.

"This money is deeply needed for the city of Flint," said Rep. Phil Phelps, D-Flushing.

The Flint water crisis emerged when a water source switch lead to more corrosive water going through pipes, leaching lead out of the pipes and into the water supply. The neurotoxin is particularly dangerous to children. An unknown number of residents were exposed.

The state has dedicated $234 million at efforts to help the city recover. But the House of Representatives on Tuesday made an administrative move to send $100 million from the federal government over in House Bill 4329.

Read more: http://www.mlive.com/news/index.ssf/2017/03/michigan_house_votes_to_send_1.html

And yes that is indeed excellent. But the Flint water crisis isn’t the only problem plaguing Michigan – besides insane Tea Party representatives and leaders like Rick Snyder, who might be one of the worst governors in the country (thank you Koch Brothers! ), did you know that the former home of the Detroit Lions, the Pontiac Silverdome, is still standing? And that it has a major parking lot problem?

The long-empty Pontiac Silverdome is now facing an unlikely problem: A parking lot filled with Volkswagens.

The city of Pontiac has taken legal action against the owner of the derelict stadium, citing it for city code violations for storing hundreds of Volkswagen cars and crossovers on the property without the necessary permits.

The Volkswagens, which have been gathering outside the Silverdome since January, are the vehicles the German automaker has been forced to buy back back from customers following its diesel emissions scandal.

The city cited the Silverdome's owner -- Triple Investment Group -- last month for six separate citations generally related to the mass of Volkswagens and for failing failure to secure the property from trespassers. The city says the owner needs a site plan and business license to store so many cars there, even though the land in question is a parking lot.

Read more: http://www.freep.com/story/money/business/2017/03/22/silverdome-owner-denies-responsibility-parked-volkswagens/99506732/

That’s a strange story indeed. but when it comes to Michigan and spending… Michigan’s state senators and representatives are just as batshit crazy as they are in the rest of America.

Today a federal grand jury returned an indictment charging a state senator with conspiracy and theft crimes, announced Acting United States Attorney Daniel L. Lemisch.

Charged was Bertram Johnson, Jr., 43, of Highland Park, Michigan. The two-count indictment charges that from approximately March 2014 through January 2015, Johnson, Jr., a Senator for the State of Michigan, conspired to commit theft, and did commit theft, of monies under the care, custody, and control of the State of Michigan.

According to the indictment, Johnson borrowed thousands of dollars in cash from an unnamed co-conspirator, and later placed that co-conspirator on the public payroll as a member of his staff, knowing that the co-conspirator was a “ghost employee” who contributed no work on behalf of Johnson’s staff. The indictment alleges that Johnson placed this “ghost employee” on the public payroll solely to pay off Johnson’s personal loan debt, and that the ghost employee was paid over $23,000 in taxpayer money.

And in case you’re wondering if Michigan’s wealthiest residents are as greedy and corrupt as their representatives are, did you know that there’s a massive grift going on between multiple Michigan area doctors? There’s this:

A second Detroit-area physician pleaded guilty today for his role in a $17.1 million Medicare fraud scheme involving medically unnecessary physician visits and drug prescriptions.

Acting Assistant Attorney General Kenneth A. Blanco of the Justice Department’s Criminal Division, Acting U.S. Attorney Daniel L. Lemisch of the Eastern District of Michigan, Special Agent in Charge David P. Gelios of the FBI’s Detroit Division and Special Agent in Charge Lamont Pugh III of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Office of Inspector General’s (HHS-OIG) Chicago Regional Office made the announcement.

Leonard Van Gelder, 69, of Caledonia, Michigan, pleaded guilty to one count of conspiracy to commit health care fraud before U.S. District Judge Avern Cohn of the Eastern District of Michigan. Sentencing will be set at a later date.

And this:

Detroit Podiatrist Charged for Role in $13.9 Million Medicare Fraud Scheme

A Detroit podiatrist was charged in an indictment unsealed today for his alleged participation in a $13.9 million health care fraud scheme involving fraudulent claims for unnecessary foot surgeries and other podiatric services that were never rendered.

Lawrence Young, D.P.M., of Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, was charged with six counts of health care fraud in an indictment filed in the Eastern District of Michigan. Young was arrested this morning and made his initial appearance before U.S. Magistrate Judge Anthony P. Pattiof the Eastern District of Michigan.

And The Winner Is…

Oh my god this was an incredibly solid matchup. Both teams gave each other a game. Which is what this competition really is about. But sadly only one state can move on to face Texas. Kansas is incredibly tough, and don’t discount them as favorites to win the whole thing. Michigan on the other hand puts up a good fight and they’re not going down easily. They came back and tied it with just 3.2 seconds left… OH MY GOD!!! Kansas sinks a 3 pointer!!! They will beat Michigan and advance to play Texas in the Layover League Championship! Final score – 74 – 71! I tell you anything can happen in this tournament, folks and we have just 4 rounds left before we crown our Stupidest State. Next week – the final piece of the puzzle remains. Missouri and Montana will be bringing their big guns out. The winner gets to face Tennessee for the Flyover League championship. The loser goes home.

And now this:

Ladies and gentlemen, I hope you have some joints ready – playing their song “Midnight” from their album “Hotting Up”, please welcome Iration!

Yeah how about that?

See you next week!

Secret A.T.F. Account Paid for $21,000 Nascar Suite and Las Vegas Trip

WASHINGTON — Agents with the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives used a secret, off-the-books bank account to rent a $21,000 suite at a Nascar race, take a trip to Las Vegas and donate money to the school of one of the agent’s children, according to records and interviews.

Agents also used the account to finance undercover operations around the country, despite laws prohibiting government officials from using private money to supplement their budgets, according to current and former government officials and others familiar with the account.

The revelations highlight the lax oversight at the A.T.F. that allowed agents and informants to spend millions while avoiding the normal accounting process. The Justice Department’s inspector general, who is investigating the secret account, criticized the A.T.F. recently for mismanagement and said the agency did not know how many informants it had or how much they were paid.

The New York Times revealed the existence of the bank account in February, prompting an investigation by the House oversight committee. The Justice Department, which oversees the A.T.F., has denied any wrongdoing, and the department has refused to say whether the bureau continues to operate such secret accounts, which the government called “management accounts.”


Grifters gonna grift.

John Oliver Tackles Gerrymandering

Neil Gorsuch takes first of 2 oaths, prepares to join court

Source: Associated Press

WASHINGTON (AP) — Surrounded by family and his soon-to-be Supreme Court colleagues, Neil Gorsuch took the first of two oaths on Monday as he prepared to take his seat on the court and restore its conservative majority.

The 49-year-old appeals court judge from Colorado is being sworn in after a bruising fight that saw Republicans change the rules for approving high court picks — over the fierce objection of Democrats.

The first ceremony took place privately in the Justices' Conference Room, with Chief Justice John Roberts administering the oath required by the Constitution. Gorsuch placed his hand on the family Bible held by his wife, Louise. His two daughters watched, along with all eight of the current justices and most of their spouses.

Also in attendance was Maureen Scalia, widow of the late Justice Antonin Scalia, and her eldest son Eugene, said court spokeswoman Kathy Arberg.

Later, Gorsuch will appear at a public White House ceremony, where Justice Anthony Kennedy is to administer a second oath in which Gorsuch will pledge to administer justice impartially and "do equal right to the poor and to the rich." Gorsuch, who once clerked for Kennedy, will be the first member of the court to serve alongside his former boss.

Read more: http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/neil-gorsuch-takes-first-of-2-oaths-prepares-to-join-court/ar-BBzDptZ?li=BBnb7Kz

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! The fucking assholes did it. They got their god damned seat. May it be forever cursed.

The Closed Information Loop From Hell


Found this on Media Matters' Twitter feed.

Your Words, Trump.






Top 10 Conservative Idiots #2-19: In Like Flynn Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #2-19: In Like Flynn Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Congratulations to the North Carolina Tar Heels for winning the NCAA March Madness tournament! Whew! Well anyway, Gonzaga, you put up a good fight and you can rest easier knowing your championship gear is going to clothe Africa’s starving children. I kid, hey miss, give it a chance, I just got up here! For you people watching at home there’s people already leaving! You know folks, I never thought I would agree with the BFEE on anything, but considering the tumultuous times we live in, where we have a maniacal mad man about to destroy the world, and that’s not even counting Donald Trump. Hey o! Thank you, I’m here all week! Don’t forget to tip your waitress! You know what I’m stalling enough. You know how they say “the enemy of my enemy is my friend”, right? Well, there’s one person who I never thought we’d be allies with in this day and age. Let’s roll the tape!

That’s right! Bet you didn’t think it was going to be him, did you? And you think you’re so smart! I mean we have the single biggest piece of shit who’s ever occupied office. And I’m not counting the president in the previous video. Ha! I fooled you again! I’m of course talking about Donald Trump – a guy who is so polarizing that he’s causing even some of the most batshit crazy, extreme die hard republicans, to wake up and see what they are really doing. Hey maybe that’s what Trump meant by MAGA! All right that’s enough of the intro. We have a lot of idiocy to get to tonight. But first Colbert brings out his chalkboard and works his conspiracy theory magic:

So where do we begin this week? There's lots of stuff I would like to talk about including Bill O'Reilly losing sponsors and Steve Bannon getting pulled from the NSC. But we have to limit this to 10! The number one slot this week easily has to go to Michael Flynn (1) who is turning the tables on the Trump administration by exchanging testimony for immunity from prosecution. We will tell you what that means. Meanwhile the second slot is going to House Republicans (2). Because they passed a bill that will essentially give ISPs like Verizon and Time Warner the ability to sell your browsing history to the highest bidder, and that’s not good for anybody. In the number 3 slot is of course President Donald Trump, and in the third slot we’re going to channel our lecture series and talk about Trump’s latest tweet storm, and remember that this guy is our president. In the number 4 slot, we’re going to talk some baseball and specifically how Donald Trump (4) will be the first president since the game of baseball was invented to not throw out the first pitch at the Washington Nationals’ home opener this next week. Taking the fifth slot, once again is Donald Trump, and we’re going to do something unprecedented and try to use a flow chart to explain Donald Trump and the GOP’s knowledge of history after his flub explaining Susan B. Anthony. Well, it should be the “take no responsibility” party.In the number 6 slot, is the Bathroom Police (6). Yes they’re making a comeback. While Trump and the GOP are busy rolling LGBT rights back to the stone ages, the Iowa GOP is finding new and scary ways to instill their good old fashioned brand of Christian family values (speaking of family values!). Plus we also have to talk about the worst party bus ever. In the number 7 slot, we’re going to talk about the Russians (7) and their brand of cyberwarfare manipulating the election in favor of Trump, and you would be a fool and a communist to make that connection. Taking the number In the number 8 slot, we were originally going to talk about Chuck Berry but I didn’t like the entry. Instead we’re going to talk about Mike Pence and recent revelations about his bizarre behavior around women, and he makes Mitt Romney look sane by comparison. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot, we have another installment of "I Need A Drink" (this is becoming a regular feature), and we’re going to lighten things up and tell you about a fun new fan cruise you can go on, and it’s being run by David Hasslehoff (9). Yes, put the Hoff on a boat for 5 days full of alcohol and drunk tourists, what could go wrong? Finally this week, we’ve got the next round of our Stupidest State Contest. This time it’s a Family Values face off for the championship as we pit back to back conference champions Alabama against the hottest state in the Family Values racket – Tennessee, who steamrolled over perennial favorites North Carolina in this contest. Plus we have some more live music for you, this time from Wisconsin’s own Violent Femmes! Their new album “We Can Do Anything” is amazing and a lot of fun to listen to. If you don’t have it get it. And they will be stopping by to play something from it! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

Michael Flynn

So that happened. In case you don’t know what we’re talking about – it’s the biggest shit show of the week, in a year where shit shows seem to be happening on an almost daily basis. In case you don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about, I give you Michael Flynn. Remember that cheesy 60’s British spy comedy In Like Flint that was the basis for the “Austin Powers” series? This is In Like Flynn! Yeah, baby!!!

Report: Michael Flynn Asked For Immunity In Exchange For Testifying On Trump’s Russia Ties
According to the Wall Street Journal, Flynn’s offer has not been accepted.
By Mollie Reilly 03/30/2017 07:03 pm ET

Retired Lt. Gen. Michael Flynn, who briefly served as national security adviser to President Donald Trump, is seeking immunity from prosecution in exchange for testifying on the president’s ties to Russia, the Wall Street Journal reported Thursday.

According to the report, Flynn made the offer to the FBI, the House intelligence committee and the Senate intelligence committee. All three entities are currently investigating whether Trump’s associates had contact with Russian officials during the 2016 presidential campaign. According to the Wall Street Journal, none of them have yet accepted Flynn’s offer.


Yeah! Groovy baby! Oh behave! This whole thing stinks. It’s like playing a really fucked up game of Six Degrees Of Kevin Bacon. Except there’s just one degree and someone in the Trump administration was connected to Russia. Well Flynn may have been requesting immunity from prosecution to protect his own ass. But what is he hiding? Who is he hiding from? Well, there was this that happened over last week!

MOSCOW, RUSSIA (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, the Kremlin announced it had invited Ex National Security Advisor Michael Flynn to Moscow in order to award him the Atomic Medal of Honor.

The Kremlin explained the newly-created award was designed specifically "for high-profile individuals who had earned the attention and admiration of Russian President Vladimir Putin."

Upon hearing the news, Flynn commented, "I am both honored and surprised. I had never heard of the Atomic Medal of Honor before today, and was unaware I was being considered for it."

Flynn added, "This is some great news considering all the bad luck I have been having. I just asked for immunity in exchange for my testimony on Trump's ties to Russia."

Please, oh please tell me that this is an April Fool’s Joke! Wait, what? This article was published on March 31st? Blast!!!! But this shit gets even weirder than that! Was Michael Flynn a paid operative by a foreign country? Oh this gets much scarier than some e-mails that got deleted off a private server.

WASHINGTON — Michael Flynn, who was President Donald Trump's former national security adviser until being fired last month, has registered with the Justice Department as a foreign agent for $530,000 worth of lobbying work before Election Day that may have aided the Turkish government.

Paperwork filed Tuesday with the Justice Department's Foreign Agent Registration Unit said Flynn and his firm were voluntarily registering for lobbying from August through November that "could be construed to have principally benefited the Republic of Turkey." It was filed by a lawyer on behalf of the former U.S. Army lieutenant general and intelligence chief.

After his firm's work on behalf of a Turkish company was done, Flynn agreed not to lobby for five years after leaving government service and never to represent foreign governments.

Under the Foreign Agent Registration Act, U.S. citizens who lobby on behalf of foreign governments or political entities must disclose their work to the Justice Department. Willfully failing to register is a felony, though the Justice Department rarely files criminal charges in such cases. It routinely works with lobbying firms to get back in compliance with the law by registering and disclosing their work.

Holy fuck! So he was working for Erdogan but didn’t disclose it? And as we all know Erdogan is a power hungry insane wannabe dictator who may or may not also be in Putin’s pocket. Allegedly, allegedly! Well, maybe not so allegedly! Because it turns out that Flynn may have actually met with the Turkish government.

Earlier this week former Donald Trump campaign adviser James Woolsey publicly revealed that he had attended a meeting between Michael Flynn and the Turkish government which involved discussions so legally dubious that he reported it to the U.S. government. But guess who else tagged along for a meeting between Flynn and the Turkish government? House Intelligence Committee Chairman Devin Nunes, who this week inserted himself into the Trump-Russia scandal in bizarre fashion.

To be clear, these were two different meetings. Woolsey says the Flynn-Turkey meeting he attended, in which the kidnapping of Pennsylvania resident Fethullah Gülen was discussed, took place in the summer of 2016. But after Donald Trump was named the winner of the election, late in the transition team period, Flynn met with the Turkish government yet again. By this time James Woolsey had already resigned two weeks earlier. So instead, Flynn took another Trump transition team member with him, Devin Nunes.

It’s not publicly known what was discussed during the Flynn-Nunes-Turkey meeting on January 18th. But confirmation of the meeting has been hiding in plain sight all along. Earlier today respected political pundit T. R. Ramachandran posted a lengthy tweet storm (link) which included a reference to a previously overlooked article from Turkish news publication Daily Sabah (link). The article reports that “ Foreign Minister Mevlüt Çavuşoğlu met with designated U.S. National Security adviser Rt. Gen. Mike Flynn on Wednesday at Trump Hotel in Washington” and goes on to add that “House Intelligence Committee Congressman Devin Nunes, a Republican heavyweight, also attended the breakfast.”

So much better than Hillary’s e-mails, they tell us!

House Republicans

While we’re talking about Trump’s latest bullshit tweet (which we will get to in a minute), we have to talk about what the GOP did over the weekend. And it’s extremely despicable. In the day and age where you have Alex Jones screaming about government surveillance and the illuminati, well, he may actually be right for once. But he’s wrong in who he is targeting.

House Republicans voted overwhelmingly Tuesday, by a margin of 215-205, to repeal a set of landmark privacy protections for Web users, issuing a sweeping rebuke of Internet policies enacted under the Obama administration. It also marks a sharp, partisan pivot toward letting Internet providers collect and sell their customers' Web browsing history, location information, health data and other personal details.

The measure, which was approved by a 50-48 margin in the Senate last week, now heads to the White House, where President Trump is expected to sign it.

Congress's joint resolution empowers Internet providers to enter the $83 billion market for online advertising now dominated by Google and Facebook. It is likely to lend momentum to a broader GOP rollback of Obama-era technology policies, and calls into question the fate of other tech regulations such as net neutrality, which was approved in 2015 over strident Republican objections and bans Internet providers from discriminating against websites. And it is a sign that companies such as AT&T, Comcast and Verizon will be treated more permissively at a time when conservatives control all three branches of government.

Supporters of Tuesday's repeal vote argued the privacy regulations, written by the Federal Communications Commission, stifle innovation by forcing Internet providers to abide by unreasonably strict guidelines.

Read more: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-switch/wp/2017/03/28/the-house-just-voted-to-wipe-out-the-fccs-landmark-internet-privacy-protections/

I’m sure a lot of conspiracy theorists right now are securing their tin foil hats to their heads. And I mean I hate to say it, but Infowars – as much as we mock them here – might actually be right about something for a change! So you might be asking “how are they going to do this?” Well, that’s a good question, and we turn to President Trump’s favorite resource to do that. Real news, the best news, OK?

1. Deep packet inspection.

Deep packet inspection allows the ISP to go through certain pockets of data that are sent across the web and data that’s used for user protection. This can also be batched together to include information like age, location, name and other personal data.

2. Monitoring Internet activity.


ISPs can simply monitor the websites that users are visiting and get the information, store and sell it that way. Since this is a direct method, it’s highly lucrative for advertisers.

3. Tracking user location through mobile devices.

ISPs such as Comcast or AT&T can access user location thanks to GPS-enabled smart devices and monitor them. Companies such as Apple and other retailers do this already, using beacons (i.e. when you walk past an Apple Store and you get an alert telling you you’re near), but the difference is ISPs are looking to generate revenue from location tracking.

Now you might also be asking how to protect yourself from your snooping ISP. Well, you know a lot of right wing conservative militias work on the internet and they work in secret carrying out their mischief and mayhem. So when this bill becomes law – and you know Trump wont hesitate to sign it – you can expect a lot of them to go to prison when they start searching for how many guns one can legally own and insane information about the rapture. Well, there’s this.

However, you can still go dark, if you don’t want big telecom peering into your private life. There’s a chance that your ISP will let you opt-out of certain types of data collection, although it’s unclear if they’re specifically required to do this in the absence of the privacy rules. The FTC does recommend that service providers off an opt-in option, although ISPs could just decide to ignore that recommendation. Your situation will inevitably depend on how your particular ISP decides to exploit the lack of rules. Otherwise, protecting your online privacy in these grim times essentially amounts to putting up a barrier between you and the prying eyes of large telecom companies. Let us show you how.
Use a VPN

Our first recommendation is the best one: pay for a VPN service. Using a virtual private network (VPN) is the only way to ensure that you’re accessing the internet through an encrypted, private channel. Your browsing habits can still be seen by the VPN service—and law enforcement, if it comes to that—but you’ll be safe from a spying ISP since it will see your traffic as coming from a random server instead of your house.

But the good news is that major ISPs are now saying that they’re not going along with the schemes being proposed by the House Republicans:

Internet service providers are in an awkward spot. After getting all dressed up for the sell-your-data dance, it turns out they'll be staying home.

Or so they claim.

Reuters reports that representatives from Comcast, Verizon, and AT&T all came out today to assure worried consumers that the companies will not in fact sell customers' browsing histories to the highest bidder.

"We do not sell our broadband customers’ individual web browsing history," writes Comcast Chief Privacy Officer Gerard Lewis on the company's blog. "We did not do it before the FCC’s rules were adopted, and we have no plans to do so."

But should we trust Lewis and his counterparts at AT&T and Verizon?

The denials were issued after the House and Senate voted to repeal landmark consumer privacy rules passed in 2016 that would have blocked internet service providers from selling the browsing history of their customers.

Donald Trump

Ladies and gentlemen, we have some late breaking news to report!!!

Steve Bannon, President Donald Trump’s chief strategist, has been removed from the National Security Council in a staff reorganization.

Bloomberg News and other media outlets reported the changes, which were revealed in a regulatory filing on Wednesday.

Bannon had been elevated to the principals committee of the National Security Council when Trump took office, a controversial move not just because of Bannon’s presence, but the apparent downgrading of the role of the national intelligence director and the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Both of those figures, Dan Coats and Joseph Dunford, respectively, will now be regular attendees.

When I saw that Steve Bannon was trending I was hoping it was either his arrest or he'd been hospitalized for liver poisoning. Oh well, we can dream can't we? But maybe that means he'll spend more time with his pain killers and booze addictions. We'll cover this more as it happens. And by the way why are we going to Variety for late breaking political news? Not enough Kardashian or Bieber stories out there? But anyway back to the original entry. Sigh, another day, another weekend that Trump has spent it at a Trump property. Is this what we really need at this point on our country’s lifespan? Do we really need a president who lies about how much time he spends on the golf course? You know what Trump really is? He’s in that group of retired old guys who hang out at the local McDonalds every morning spending hours talking shit about how much time young people spend on those “dang cell phones” while complaining about using coupons to get 5 cents off an extra large iced mocha, but he spends about as much time on his cell phone as they do! And they complain about spending 5 extra cents on an iced mocha latte, when they won’t hesitate to spend $500 on a tee time. At 6:00 AM! And every single McDonalds everywhere has these people, am I not right about that? If you don’t live too far from McDonalds and want some free entertainment, just go to one on a weekend – any random weekend, order an Egg McMuffin, sit back and watch the show. You will see some mighty pissed off old guys. Well so what was our flip flopping president up to this weekend? Well first off he went on a late night Twitter toilet rampage, and it can be just as confusing when he ends with a “…” as he does with any of his other tweets. Let’s throw those up there, shall we?


But we’re not done! He’s been on a rampage! I guess that the staff finally figured out how to take his toy away from him, but now that he has it back he’s been pulling no punches!


Wow, really? He went there? Fake news! Ok, sad! But this might be my favorite tweet of the last couple of days:


And we all know how much Trump loves leaks! Hey o!!!! And he’s not stopping! I mean really, he’s been dormant for a while, but he has resurfaced. And of course, he loves him some Fox & Friends doesn’t he?


Amazing reporting, OK? Tremendous, tremendous reporting! Fox & Friends is the best! BTW, I found this video on Youtube where someone mashed a Trump speech with the Rodney Dangerfield classic “Back To School”:

But then he loves his favorite punching bag – Hillary Clinton’s former campaign manager John Podesta, I mean come on seriously? Haven’t they been through enough? Stop acting like you’re in campaign mode!


And at least he spelled “precedent” correctly this time! Hey o!!! So how much of this is true? I mean if you remember your training from our lecture series, you should know that 99% of what Trump tweets is pure, unfiltered bullshit.

President Donald Trump questioned Monday whether the brother of Hillary Clinton campaign chairman John Podesta accepted money to have sanctions against Russia lifted and if the former secretary of state and Democratic presidential candidate knew about it.

“Was the brother of John Podesta paid big money to get the sanctions on Russia lifted? Did Hillary know?” Trump asked via Twitter on Monday morning.

Trump’s tweet followed a Fox News segment in which “Fox and Friends” aired a clip of former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, who spoke with Maria Bartiromo on Sunday. The Trump ally told “Sunday Morning Futures” that the Russia-Trump story is “absurd” but raises questions about whether the Obama administration “deliberately” leaked information and what the Russians have been up to.

“But, frankly, that involves the Podesta brothers, one of whom is a registered agent for a Russian bank,” Gingrich said, referring to Tony Podesta. “It involves all the different things that Peter Schweizer wrote about on his book on ‘Clinton Cash.’ And it’s ironic that all of the real evidence of real money and real influence-buying by the Russians relates to Democrats.”

And most of what Trump tweets is 100% bovine excrement:

President Donald Trump said on Sunday he does not regret any of his tweets, even the occasional bad post.

"I don't regret anything because there is nothing you can do about it," Trump told the Financial Times when asked about the impact of his Twitter account. "You know, if you issue hundreds of tweets and every once in a while you have a clinker, that's not so bad."

Though Trump has used his Twitter as a weapon to engage opponents and reach his own supporters, his tweets have caused a headache for members of his own party who are often forced to respond to early morning tweets.

Occasional bad post? Have you read his tweets? Literally everything he says is that much fucking worse than the thing that preceded it! The only way you could be worse is be Satan on stage at a Puddle Of Mudd and Limp Bizkit headlining concert. I mean he talks shit about the “fake news” media on a daily basis, interfered with national security, provoked our allies, intimidated North Korea and China, and interfered with an official government investigation. And that was just last week! Holy shit! He really is Rodney Dangerfield! “I tell ya, I get no respect, no respect at all! I mean the media, you know they’re not kind to me! But Fox & Friends, they have the best reporting, the best I tell you! Ooh, boy, rough crowd!”

Donald Trump

Whew!!!! Yes it’s baseball opening week! Yeah! Is everybody excited! Hey, I live in Anaheim! I’m an Angels fan, we’re lucky we got one! Before the Dodgers! At least let us have that! I mean come on every year the Angels play the Dodgers, I feel like the Dodgers fans will beat the living shit out of us in our own stadium, but that’s how LA fans are. I know my Angels are going to suck for the foreseeable future (thanks Josh Hamilton!), but I’m getting off topic here. So getting back to our current president, you know he is going to be the first president since the game of baseball was invented not to throw out the opening pitch?

President Donald Trump has reportedly decided not to throw out a ceremonial first pitch to start the 2017 baseball season — skipping a ritual that President Obama once said was one of the more stressful tasks a president faces. But, though the tradition dates back more than a century, it began, as so many traditions do, as a one-off idea that could have easily been forgotten by history.

In 1955, Sports Illustrated explained how it all went down:

The first first-ball pitcher was a portly right-hander from Cincinnati named William Howard Taft , who threw from under a tall silk hat his first time out. The year was 1910, and Taft opened the baseball season at the request of Ban Johnson, president of the American League. Johnson thought the Presidential appearance would give a lift to sagging attendance, and it did. Twelve thousand fans — a record Washington turnout — were on hand to cheer Taft and the baseball Senators. Although Taft 's ample girth was not prohibitive for a pitcher, as Fred Fitzsimmons and Hugh Casey later proved in competition, he was wild. Having shed his gray kid gloves, he wound up and let fly towards Catcher Gabby Street, who was waiting at home plate. To everyone's surprise, the ball sailed off to starboard and into the glove of Pitcher Walter Johnson, who was observing the event from the mound.

Taft was an notable baseball fan himself, and said that he hoped that having the "temporary first magistrate" — the president, that is — at a game would encourage other Americans to enjoy such "healthy amusement." But Sports Illustrated reported that, up until that point in 1955, President Wilson had been the biggest fan of the game and President Harding — who had once owned a team — "displayed the only real Presidential fireball."

No Trump, they’re actually booing you. That’s right – in 107 years Trump is the first president in literally 107 years – since the game of baseball was invented – to not throw out the first pitch at a game! I mean seriously what the fuck! But this might be my favorite thing about this story – and about the most Donald Trump thing you might expect:

When Donald Trump decided to be the first president since Taft to refuse to throw out the ceremonial first pitch on Opening Day in a Major League Baseball game, he created quite the media buzz.

Why won't he?

Joy Reid has some thoughts and it's hard to argue with her, as usual.

First off, In a 2014 interview, Trump claimed to be at one time 'the best baseball player in New York.' This was when Trump was in high school, and he claimed such a preposterous superlative the very same year, 1962, when the Yankees won the World Series with Mickey Mantle, Yogi Berra and Roger Maris.

Gee, that sounds plausible.

The grimaces and odd faces Trump has made in the past while throwing out the first pitch doesn't lead anyone to believe he is a skilled player of any sort. Nor, given that his biggest complaint of the "fake" New York Times post-election was that they used unflattering pictures of him, would he want even more pictures like this made available to the media:

“I’m the best player in baseball, OK? Nobody is a better baseball player than I am!”. Yeah, just try saying that in Rodney Dangerfield’s voice. “Ooh boy, rough crowd!”. But apparently the tradition of a president throwing out the first pitch does not happen every year – it apparently only happens about once every 3 or four years according to the “FAKE NEWS!!!” Washington Post:

Obama, in fact, only threw out one Nats first pitch during his eight years in office. His predecessor, George W. Bush — who also happened to be a former baseball team owner — threw out all sorts of first pitches, including in Washington. But after his 2005 pitch at RFK Stadium, he didn’t bless the Nats again until 2008, when the new stadium opened.

“It’s not possible with his schedule,” a spokeswoman said in 2007, when Bush was invited but declined. “He’s got various meetings during the day, a meeting earlier in the morning. … It just wasn’t going to work out.”

The Post noted in 2007 that Bush’s absence “was the last item in a little roundup story from Nats spring training camp. No one thought it was a big deal.” And The Post also noted that while presidential first pitches had once been an annual tradition in Washington, they would likely be more irregular events in the 21st century.

Oh and maybe this is why Trump refused to throw the first pitch:

It appears some fans used the Washington Nationals' Opening Day game to show their displeasure with president Donald Trump.

Per Alex Rubinstein of RT America, fans unraveled a large "Impeach Trump" banner during Monday's home game against the Miami Marlins:


Donald Trump

First off we have to mention this story and we've repeatedly and often wondered on this show how the Jim Bakker Show is still a thing. The guy is a crook and will always be a crook. And it really makes you wonder about the quality of the people who he has on his show. Let's roll the tape.

I hate to break it to you lady, but God already cursed us by giving us Trump. I mean really… you know Trump loves the best women right? Nobody loves the best women more than he does. And nobody has a better understanding of history than Donald Trump does, am I right about that? Well, you know what they say about people who forget history are doomed to repeat it, am I right? I mean shit, this is the party where they had no knowledge of how Paul Revere’s famous midnight ride actually went down! Well, they also fail at humor, among other things.

President Trump spoke to a women's empowerment panel Wednesday and praised the "incredible women leaders" in his Cabinet. He also spoke of the contributions of figures such as Abigail Adams, Harriet Tubman and Susan B. Anthony, as Women's History Month comes to a close.

Trump said Adams was "very much a pioneer" in advocating women's rights.

And about Tubman, Trump said, "She was very, very courageous, believe me."

The trouble came when he got to Susan B. Anthony.

"Have you heard of Susan B. Anthony?" Trump asked in what seemed to be a sarcastic tone. Members of the audience chuckled in response.

Trump sarcasm should be an oxymoron.

Yeah he smiles like that. But really, what is happening? I mean do we live in a world where backwards crazy shit happens on an almost daily basis? I mean what happened to the prospect of Starfleet? What happened to future exploration and future technology? Well to move forward, we need a president who even has a basic understanding of history!

Unlike Bill Clinton, Barack Obama or even George W. Bush, Donald Trump is not much of a history buff. He doesn't really read. Only "passages" and "areas" and "chapters," as he told Megyn Kelly in May of 2016 when she asked for the last book he read. "I don't have the time," he says. This doesn't mean Trump doesn't have favorite books. Kind of. He has mentioned All Quiet on the Western Front as one of the best, along with the Bible (!) and, of course, The Art of the Deal. He's yet to crack a presidential biography, though. “I never have," he admitted during the campaign when asked by the Washington Post if he'd read about any of his potential predecessors. "I’m always busy doing a lot. Now I’m more busy, I guess, than ever before.”

So it shouldn't have come as a surprise when during Wednesday's Women's Empowerment Panel Trump didn't come across as particularly learned when it came to the women who have shaped American history. "Since the very beginning, women have driven—and I mean each generation of—Americans toward a more free and more prosperous future," he said before running down the accomplishments of Abigail Adams, Harriet Tubman and Susan B. Anthony, his eyes never straying from the teleprompter.

With that in mind, we’re going to do something unpresidented and use a simple Top 10 Flow Chart to explain how President Trump’s understanding of even basic history happens works.

Thank you!

But moving on – as you can imagine, this made things *INCREDIBLY* awkward in the White House the last week:

As Women’s History Month draws to an end, first lady Melania Trump proclaimed at a Wednesday award ceremony that “wherever women are diminished, the entire world is diminished with them.” Soon after, White House press secretary Sean Spicer said at a briefing that the “president made women’s empowerment a priority throughout the campaign.” And later in the afternoon, President Trump attended a women’s empowerment panel and jokingly asked whether anyone had heard of Susan B. Anthony.

It was a discordant series of remarks given Trump’s history of controversial comments about and allegations of mistreatment of women over the years. This is a president who bragged during a conversation with an “Access Hollywood” host that he could grab women without their permission, who allegedly burst into the dressing rooms of beauty pageant contestants and who was accused by 11 women before the election of inappropriately touching or kissing them.

Trump — who lagged Democratic opponent Hillary Clinton badly among female voters in November — has leaned heavily on men for his top Cabinet and administration posts. As he signed legislation rolling back environmental protections this week, Trump was surrounded by at least 16 men, including Cabinet members, coal executives and coal miners.

The Bathroom Police

It’s been a while since we’ve talked about the Bathroom Police. They have been dormant, but lately, they have been hitting for the cycle – speaking of baseball. And holy fuck – Trump and his enablers have stooped to jaw dropping, stunning lows here. I mean this is a whole new level of evil.

This week, President Trump quietly nullified an order that required companies receiving large federal contracts to show that they have complied with various federal laws, many of which relate to discrimination in the workplace.

Below is what happened on Trump's 47th day in office. You can find out what damage was done every other day so far on the Saddest Calendar on the Internet.

Not even two weeks after the US Department of Health and Human Services eliminated questions about LGBT people on two crucial national surveys on the elderly and the disabled, the Trump administration extended their erasure of LGBT Americans yesterday when they announced they would not include the option to declare sexual orientation and gender identity on the 2020 US Census. Earlier in the morning, LGBT advocates thought they had a triumph, as the Census Bureau released a list of proposed subjects for 2020 that included questions relating to the above, which were new additions that LGBT rights advocates have been pushing for. But then the Census Bureau made a follow-up announcement.

"The Subjects Planned for the 2020 Census and American Community Survey report released today inadvertently listed sexual orientation and gender identity as a proposed topic in the appendix," the Census Bureau said in a statement. "This topic is not being proposed to Congress for the 2020 Census or American Community Survey."

So you’re basically saying that LGBT Americans shouldn’t even count as American citizens. I mean come on, how fucking heartless do you have to be to be a republican? You know I wish we had included Iowa in the Stupidest State contest for the Family Values Conference, but they lost to Arkansas in an entry level game. Because Iowa is home to some of the most batshit crazy anti-abortion laws. Laws that make Utah’s funerals for fetuses law seem tame by comparison.

An anti-abortion bill being offered by Republicans in Iowa would effectively ban all abortions and give parents rights over the bodies of unmarried adult daughters.

A state House panel on Wednesday voted to send SF 471 — the so-called “personhood” bill — to the full committee. The bill states that life begins at conception, giving fetuses the same rights as people.

Anticipating that the “personhood” provision of the bill will likely be struck down by courts, the GOP bill also provides criminal punishment for anyone who performs an abortion more than 20 weeks after conception. The bill makes exceptions if the life of the mother is at risk. However, it does not make exceptions for rape or incest.

And not only did Iowa do that, there’s more to the LGBT community that needs to be addressed. I mean while we’re obsessing about the latest Trump tweet, the GOP are quietly passing some incredibly fucking evil legislation, and Trump will sign it. He’s like Ron Burgundy except he signs anything that is put in front of him without reading it. Shit like this:

Donald Trump signed an executive order yesterday allowing federal contractors to discriminate against LGBT employees.

Trump’s order revokes three previous orders signed by Barack Obama, including Executive Order 13673, the “Fair Pay and Safe Workplaces Order”.

Signed in 2014, the order required companies receiving sizeable federal contracts to demonstrate that they have acted in compliance for at least three years with federal laws prohibiting discrimination based on sexual orientation, gender identity and gender stereotyping.

“This administration has made it extremely difficult to enforce these federal laws as applied to federal contractors,” Camilla Taylor, Lambda Legal attorney, told Keen News Service. “It’s sending a message to these companies that the federal government simply doesn’t care whether or not they violate the law.”

And then this might be one of the most evil things they’ve done. You know the GOP hates the UN with a fiery passion – almost as much as I hate Justin Bieber. And you know how much I hate Justin Bieber! I mean come on the guy pees in a bucket and flips off a picture of Bill Clinton! Seriously, he’s the king of douchebags. King Of Douchebags – great improv troupe, by the way. But this is a whole new level of evil right here. You know the government is *ACTUALLY* doing to LGBT people what conspiracy theorists *THINK* they are having done to them!

After news broke last week that the U.S. State Department was sending listed anti-LGBT group C-FAM as part of America’s delegation to a United Nations conference, the government has now said it’s working with the group because it provides “diverse viewpoints”.

The Southern Poverty Law Center designated C-FAM (Center for Family and Human Rights) as an anti-LGBT hate group in 2014.

“The United States does seek to include individuals from civil society organizations with diverse viewpoints and allow them to observe the U.N. in action during the Commission on the Status of Women,” he (State Department spokesperson Mark Toner) said.

He also, however, insisted that activists are “not authorized to negotiate or speak on behalf of the United States”.

By the way we have to talk about this bus that got banned from Madrid. It’s going around saying that trans people aren’t natural. We call it “The Worst Party Bus Ever”.

A bright orange bus emblazoned with an anti-transgender message has been forced off the roads in Spain, after activists, trade unions, and Madrid City Council united against it.

The slogan on the bus read: "Boys have penises, girls have vulvas. Do not be fooled."

A Catholic group, Hazte Oir, had planned to take it on a nationwide tour of Spanish cities.

The group said the ban was illegal and that it planned to acquire a new bus.


Well did you know that this bus has since been banned from Madrid and is now appearing here in the States? Well if you’re shocked at this, you’re not a Top 10 viewer. And now it’s being called a “Free Speech Bus”. Go fuck yourselves! By prohibiting a group of people from free expression, you are not in any way shape or form exercising your right to free speech! You’re actually hurting both theirs and your right to free speech! I’ll exercise my right to free speech: Go fuck yourselves!

The bus rolled into downtown Boston Wednesday morning, stopping first at the Massachusetts State House. About two dozen protesters were there waiting for it, holding signs and chanting, “No hate, no fear, trans people are welcome here!” as the Boston Globe reported.

Then the bus moved on to City Hall, where Democratic Mayor Marty Walsh, flanked by dozens of supporters, hoisted the transgender rights flag in opposition.

“We will not be intimidated by discrimination or harassment,’’ Walsh said. “And we will not tolerate these types of actions. When you deny the experience of transgender individuals, you are denying the experience of basic human civil rights.”

As the Free Speech Bus crawled through the city toward its third destination, Cambridge, Mass., protesters stood in front of it, blocking its path. At one point, someone lobbed a cup of coffee at the bus’s door, as local media reported.


Russian Fake News

One thing we’ve talked about a lot on this show but haven’t really gone into much detail on is how fake news played a huge role in the election. Fake news, OK? Sad! Jail time! Thanks, Mr. President. Ok so how did Russia manipulate our news into becoming just a cesspool of bullshit? Cesspool Of Bullshit – I saw them at the Troub last week. Not that great. But anyways here’s how fake news played into the whole thing:

The Kremlin paid an army of more than 1,000 people to create fake anti-Hillary Clinton news stories targeting key swing states, the leading Democrat on the committee looking into alleged Russian interference in the US election has said.

Senator Mark Warner, the Democrat ranking member, and chairman of the Senate Intelligence Committee Republican Senator Richard Burr, appeared together at a press conference to give an update on the investigation ahead of the first witnesses appearing today.

Mr Warner said: “We know about the hacking, and selective leaks, but what really concerns me as a former tech guy is at least some reports – and we’ve got to get to the bottom of this – that there were upwards of a thousand internet trolls working out of a facility in Russia, in effect taking over a series of computers which are then called botnets, that can then generate news down to specific areas.

“It’s been reported to me, and we’ve got to find this out, whether they were able to affect specific areas in Wisconsin, Michigan, Pennsylvania, where you would not have been receiving off of whoever your vendor might have been, Trump versus Clinton, during the waning days of the election, but instead, ‘Clinton is sick’, or ‘Clinton is taking money from whoever for some source’ … fake news.

Read more: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/russian-trolls-hilary-clinton-fake-news-election-democrat-mark-warner-intelligence-committee-a7657641.html

I like that one! And how does it get any weirder? Well it’s not just that Putin paid 1,000 people to create hundreds of thousands of fake news stories. Wrong! Lame! Boring! Sad! Shut up, Trump! but thanks to Russia, fake news is now a weapon! And how many times must we click on web pages only to see the same bullshit “you may like” stories? I can guarantee we will not like any of those!

Russia gets a lot of attention over its ongoing aggression in Ukraine and other former Soviet states. What does not get a lot of attention is Russia’s non-lethal methods of hybrid warfare to influence political outcomes in nations it considers adversarial. The tool for this at the Kremlin’s disposal is state-funded propaganda disguised as legitimate news—and it has the vast resources to distort the facts in ways that can potentially sway public perception to Russia’s favor.

In the U.S., “fake news” is an annoyance on your Facebook feed, or a charge lobbed at an outlet that reports something you may not agree with. In Russia, fake news is a weapon, and the guns that fire the bullets are its state news outlets like RT and Sputnik. RT doesn’t generate remotely the same ratings as CNN or other news networks, but they serve their geopolitical purpose: to create some degree of legitimacy among enough Americans who don’t believe in mainstream news.

This weekend, President Donald Trump accused former President Barack Obama of ordering a wiretap on Trump Tower during the presidential election. Even though a president cannot legally order a wiretap and Obama denied the accusation, RT ran an article Sunday leading with White House’s request to investigate whether Obama abused his powers in 2016.

And you know even the guy who wrote the memo about Russia and fake news thinks this whole thing is a steaming load of bullshit.

Steele was head of MI6’s Russia desk. He worked at Britain's intelligence service for years and was a highly regarded specialist on Russia, according to The Guardian. He served in Paris and Moscow in the 1990s before retiring. He now runs the intelligence company Orbis Business Intelligence with Christopher Burrows, a former British Foreign Office counsellor.

He has a network of sources in Russia. The New York Times said he was known for "his knowledge of the intricate web of Kremlin-tied companies and associates that control Russia." He called on these contacts to compile the allegations against Trump.

Steele has been trusted by the FBI and others with sensitive work.Reuters reported that the intelligence expert supplied the FBI with information on corruption at football's world governing body, FIFA, in 2010. He also gathered intelligence on Russia for England's 2018 World Cup bid. Russia ultimately triumphed during the bidding process.

He has friends in high places. Sir Andrew Wood, a former British ambassador to Moscow who helped alert US intelligence to the dossier, said Steele was a "very competent professional operator."

But that doesn’t stop Trump from calling the Russia story fake news. It’s fake news, OK? Totally sad!

President Donald Trump labeled reports from two major networks on alleged ties between individuals linked to his campaign and the Russian government as “totally biased and fake news” Thursday morning, continuing his tirade against allegations that his election team colluded with the Kremlin.

“Just watched the totally biased and fake news reports of the so-called Russia story on NBC and ABC. Such dishonesty!” Trump wrote on Twitter Thursday morning. He did not dispute any of the specifics of either report, which aired on NBC’s “Today” show and ABC’s “Good Morning America.”

The president's complaint comes one day after House Intelligence Committee Chairman Devin Nunes (R-Calif.) announced that he had been given information to suggest that members of Trump’s transition team, and potentially Trump himself, had been inadvertently surveilled after the election, a revelation that Trump said Wednesday made him feel “somewhat” vindicated.

Mike Pence

So we were going to dedicate this slot to the late Chuck Berry and how he was a creep of Cosby and Trump proportions. But I didn’t really like the entry so instead we’re going to talk about Mike Pence and his insane religious beliefs around women. But if you read the editorials on why the internet went apeshit, you’d believe that Mike Pence being loyal to his wife is the problem. But it isn’t – it’s the fundamentalist Christian church that’s the problem. In the real world, Mike Pence would be allowed to socialize with women who aren’t his wife or be around alcohol without losing all self control. But that’s what his fire and brimstone brand of fundamentalist religion brings. But editorials like this one from NOLA aren’t helping:

The internet went a little goofy last week over the fact that Vice President Mike Pence once told a reporter that "he never eats alone with a woman other than his wife and that he won't attend events featuring alcohol without her by his side, either."

Some of you may find it perfectly reasonable that a man in a powerful position -- Pence has served in the U.S. House of Representatives and was governor of Indiana before becoming Donald Trump's vice president -- would take steps to preserve his marriage, honor his wife, Karen, and put himself beyond reproach.

Others might think it a bit old-fashioned and overly cautious.

But is your first reaction that Mike Pence's choice is sexist, misogynistic, bizarre, evidence of sexual perversion or deviancy, and even illegal? That was how much of social media saw it.

The importance of this eruption -- "How Mike Pence's Marriage Became Fodder for the Culture Wars" -- is less about the details of the Pence marriage guidelines than the chasm that has opened in society over the issues of sex, gender and marriage especially in regard to religious beliefs.

Yeah you’re not helping. Let’s go back to the original piece. You know here’s a little secret about the “culture wars” – the only people who are engaged in this “war” are the extreme right wing fundamentalist Christians. Us liberal, secular, non religious people don’t give a shit. We really don’t! Thank you! That’s right – we couldn’t care less that bakeries are baking cakes for gay weddings or what movie theaters show bullshit religious movies like “The Shack” or what stores greet us with “Happy Holidays” vs “Merry Christmas”. You know what we do when that happens? We don’t care! Religious fundamentalists like Pence should try it some time, that’s good for you! We’re working for rights, not against them. Here’s the original piece:

The Washington Post ran a profile of Karen Pence, the wife of Vice President Mike Pence, on Wednesday. The piece talks about the closeness of the Pences’ relationship, and cites something Pence told The Hill in 2002: Unless his wife is there, he never eats alone with another woman or attends an event where alcohol is being served. (It’s unclear whether, 15 years later, this remains Pence’s practice.) It’s not in the Post piece, but here’s the original quote from 2002: “‘If there's alcohol being served and people are being loose, I want to have the best-looking brunette in the room standing next to me,’ Pence said.”

Some folks—mostly journalists and entertainers on Twitter—have reacted with surprise, anger, and sarcasm to the Pence family rule. Socially liberal or non-religious people may see Pence’s practice as misogynistic or bizarre. For a lot of conservative religious people, though, this set-up probably sounds normal, or even wise. The dust-up shows how radically notions of gender divide American culture.

Pence is not the first contemporary public figure to set these kinds of boundaries around his marriage. He seems to be following a version of the so-called Billy Graham rule, named for the famous evangelist who established similar guidelines for the pastors working in his ministry. In his autobiography, Graham notes that he and his colleagues worried about the temptations of sexual immorality that come from long days on the road and a lot of time away from family. They resolved to “avoid any situation that would even have the appearance of compromise or suspicion.” From that day on, Graham said, he “did not travel, meet, or eat alone with a woman other than my wife.” It was a way of following Paul’s advice to Timothy in the Bible, Graham wrote: to “flee … youthful lusts.”

And you know this is what makes Indiana’s insane religious freedom law different from the next – is Mike Pence’s fire and brimstone beliefs. And the GOP wants this thing to go nuclear and go across the whole country. You know whatever happened to civil rights? Remember when we used to have those things? That was nice.

That’s a good background against which to measure the uproar about the Indiana Religious Freedom Restoration Act, which was signed into law by Governor Mike Pence last week. I don’t question the religious sincerity of anyone involved in drafting and passing this law. But sincere and faithful people, when they feel the imprimatur of both the law and the Lord, can do very ugly things.

There’s a factual dispute about the new Indiana law. It is called a “Religious Freedom Restoration Act,” like the federal Religious Freedom Restoration Act, passed in 1993.* Thus a number of its defenders have claimed it is really the same law. Here, for example, is the Weekly Standard’s John McCormack: “Is there any difference between Indiana's law and the federal law? Nothing significant.” I am not sure what McCormack was thinking; but even my old employer, The Washington Post, seems to believe that if a law has a similar title as another law, they must be identical. “Indiana is actually soon to be just one of 20 states with a version of the Religious Freedom Restoration Act, or RFRA,” the Post’s Hunter Schwarz wrote, linking to this map created by the National Conference of State Legislatures.

And you know “religious freedom” has nothing to do with actual religion or freedom right? It’s how the GOP gets away with most of the shit they do. See, we call it “false advertising”. It’s how they are able to get away with legalizing silencers and calling it “hearing protection”. Or how they’re able to ban gay marriage and call it “protecting marriage”. But let’s talk about the Billy Graham rule for a minute – calling these people “pigs” is an insult to pigs.

During his career, evangelist Billy Graham vowed never to meet, eat, or travel alone with a woman other than his wife, a strategy to protect his marriage and to avoid the even the appearance of an inappropriate relationship. The “Billy Graham Rule” or the “Modesto Manifesto” continues to be enacted by male Christian leaders today, especially those working in ministry.

Similar restrictions come up in other work settings, including on Capitol Hill, the National Journal reported earlier this month. According to their sources, some male members of Congress won’t meet one-on-one with female staffers “for fear that others would get the wrong impression.”

It’s the refrain recurring throughout many ministries: male and female working relationships are tricky and fraught with tension.

But it’s high time we really stop excusing this bullshit. Much like the way we make excuses for why chain restaurants still refer to their appetizers as “apps”. It was cute for a minute when smartphones first came out, but it’s been fucking years!!!! I’m looking at you, TGI Fridays, Applebees, and Chilis! Stop it, just seriously stop it!

Getting back on topic, it’s 2017 and we’re still acting like it’s the 18th century when it comes to how men behave around women. I mean really religious guys, can’t you keep it in your pants for a few minutes?

MARCH 17: Vice President Mike Pence arrives for a joint press conference by U.S. President Donald Trump (not seen) and German Chancellor Angela Merkel (not seen) at the White House.
The Internet is on fire after an in-depth Washington Post profile of Vice President Mike Pence’s wife, Karen Pence. The article revealed that Pence explained, in 2002, that unless he is with his wife, he won’t eat alone with a woman or attend an event where alcohol is served, a spin on what evangelicals call the “Billy Graham Rule.” Twitter threads and think pieces have abounded. “Mike Pence’s ‘Billy Graham Rule’ has Internet yelling sexism,” blared a USAToday headline that could have read, but didn’t, “Mike Pence’s ‘Billy Graham Rule’ is sexist.”

What a luxury it is for a man to decide he can’t, and doesn’t have to, be unchaperoned in the presence of a woman who might be an evil temptress out to destroy him. And what a serious problem for women.

David Hasslehoff

It’s now time for:

Yes ladies and gentlemen, I need a drink. Because you can only talk about so much dark news during the week, and it doesn’t get much darker than most of the crap happening this week. Ah, where ya been man? So while I’m enjoying this nice glass of Tito’s Vodka mixed with Sailor Jerry’s – I call it “The Angry Cowboy”, this is the part of the show where we throw out whatever we were going to talk about and talk about something that doesn’t have anything to do with anything. But before we get into this entry - I do have to mention what could quite possibly be one of the dumbest people to ever exist - and this is in a year when Donald Trump became the 45th president:

NEWVILLE, Pa. (AP) - Police in Pennsylvania say they arrested a man wearing a Drunk Lives Matter shirt for drunken driving.

Police say 44-year-old Elwood Gutshall III's blood-alcohol content was about two and a half times the state's legal limit for drivers when he was pulled over early on March 19 in Newville. He was wearing a green St. Patrick's Day shirt with the saying on it.

Online court records don't list an attorney for Gutshall, who faces a preliminary hearing May 26.

So what are we going to talk about this week? Fan cruises. You know those things were you can go be a fan of whatever you want to be a fan of on a boat for 5 days with other like minded individuals, get drunk and party. Shit, Adam Corolla has his own fan cruise. And you know there’s going to be lots of drunk, angry people rambling on that boat. But here’s a fun one we’re going to tell you about:

That’s right – you can be on a boat with the Hoff, ladies and gentlemen!

David Hasselhoff will be hosting a cruise which will take fans on a tour of the European ports.

“Come party Hoff style! Rock and roll on the sea with me and my team,” Hasselhoff wrote in a press release.

The Baywatch actor will be patrolling the decks of the cruise ship which will set sail on Nov. 4 in Savona, Italy, and includes stops in Civitavecchia, Italy; Barcelona, Spain; and Marseille, France.

The 64-year-old actor will entertain his fans with stage performances and take part in a meet-and-greet. There will also be a movie night where fans will be able to watch his TV shows and movies in a cinema with The Hoff himself.

But you have to sign up quickly folks! Apparently you have to act now because rooms are filling up fast according to the Hoff’s travel agent!

The point I am making is that, as a big-shot newspaper columnist, I routinely receive a wide assortment of emails that require constant attention, but nothing — hold on while I stress that last point in capital letters — NOTHING prepared me for the heart-pounding message that popped into my inbox Friday morning.

Sent by a travel company in Austria, it invited me — for a paltry fee starting at 799 euros per person — to sign up for (hold on while I once again activate the caps lock feature on my keyboard) DAVID HASSELHOFF: THE OFFICIAL WORLD FAN CRUISE, which kicks off Nov. 4 on board the cruise ship Costa Favolosa.

"You will have to decide quickly if you want to join THE HOFF on this once-in-a-lifetime cruise," the email warned. "A selection of cabins is still available, but going fast. So sign up quickly."

What made it all even more exciting is the email invitation contained an actual video of David Hasselhoff, wherein The Hoff dished up the following celebrity quotes: "Come party Hoff style! Rock and roll on the sea with me and my team!" And: "Don’t miss your chance to really get to know one another!! Love, David!"

And how does one even get on Hasslehoff’s mailing list? I didn’t even know he had one, but I want to sign up for it now! But what kind of events might you expect from a Hasslehoff-themed cruise, you might ask? Well I answer you good sir / madam, with this!

What should guests on the ship, which will set sail from Savona, in the Italian province of Liguria, expect?

There will be a concert, of course, during which the former Baywatch star will surely perform “Looking for Freedom” – the song synonymous with the fall of the Berlin Wall.

There will an autograph session, so be sure to bring a bright red floatation device for the great man to sign.

And the final night will feature an “interview session” and a screening of “the best scenes from his movies” (for the record, they include Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!, Keith Lemon: The Film, The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie and Terror at London Bridge).

Wow, such classy high end entertainment as Sharknado 3, and the Spongebob Squarepants Movie! Sign me up!

Stupidest State Contest Round 10: Alabama Vs. Tennessee

16 states will enter, and only one state will be crowned the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State! If you need a reminder of the conferences, there’s the Batshit Conference, the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference, the Gun Nut Conference, and the Family Values Conference. So the Hateful 8 has been set, and our road to the Final Four continues! Last week, Florida was the rumored favorite to win the title, but they were stunned when Florida Man’s ridiculous stunt cost themselves the tournament and Texas handily won the Batshit conference. This week we’re going back to where it all started with the Family Values Conference. Yes the Family Values Conference – where it’s not OK for two men or two women to hold hands and kiss each other in public, or for trans people to pee in the bathroom of their choice, but it’s perfectly OK for your governor or representatives to wear adult diapers and engage in some backdoor foreplay with high end prostitutes. Yeah just picture that image for a minute! Alabama’s had a lot of rest here, but Tennessee proved to be an extremely strong competitor when they replaced Oklahoma in the championship. Let’s get out our brackets, shall we?

Round 10: Family Values Conference Championship: #5 Alabama Vs #7 Tennessee


Next up is the first state we originally covered but we didn’t really go into much detail. Alabama is the home of the runner up in this year’s BCS Championship, the Crimson Tide. An interesting fun fact is that Alabama is one of only two states in the union without an official state nickname (the other being Wisconsin) ! Bet you didn’t know that! Some call it “The Cotton State” due to its’ use of cotton plantations in the 1800s, while others call it the Yellowhammer State as it’s the home of the bird species with the same name. Alabama is also the home of Talladega and the famous Talladega Speedway where the annual NASCAR Sprint Cup championship was held. And if that sounds familiar to you, perhaps you also know it from the 2006 Will Ferrell / John C. Reilly comedy “Talladega Nights: The Ballad Of Ricky Bobby”. Alabama is also home to the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960s. But since the 1960s and especially today, civil rights have been in kind of a free fall, especially if you happen to be an LGBT citizen.

The Alabama House of Representatives passed four bills Thursday, two of which opponents say would allow discrimination against the LGBTQ community or non-Christians, and one anti-abortion bill that directly conflicts with federal rights outlined by Roe v. Wade.

House Bill 89, sponsored by State Rep. Matt Fridy, R-Shelby County, aims to amend the Alabama Constitution to establish that “nothing in this constitution secures or protects a right to abortion or requires the funding of an abortion,” despite abortion being a federally protected right.

House Bill 95 would protect state medical officials from performing services that violate their conscience or religious views, and House Bill 24 would allow child adoption services to deny adoption to a family based on religious beliefs.

Several House Democrats, including State Rep. John Knight, D-Montgomery, called it a “wasted day.”

Read more: http://www.montgomeryadvertiser.com/story/news/2017/03/16/controversial-abortion-discrimination-bills-easily-pass-house/99258998/

You know you can only use the same meme so many times! But yeah they pretty much all but legalized discrimination against LGBT citizens in Alabama since we last revisited this state. But what else have they been up to since the first round? And if you’re wondering if Alabama’s legislature is just as crazy as their citizens, I give you Phillip Pettus (R-Obviously) who said that there’s no one in prison just for marijuana!

Representative Phillip Pettus (R-Killen) said there were zero people in Alabama’s prison system for solely marijuana during a committee meeting.

Pettus’ comments came during a House Judicial Committee Meeting on Wednesday during a public hearing for a new bill that would make possessing 1 ounce or less of marijuana a finable offense.

“There’s nobody in our state prisons just for marijuana,” Pettus said.

Ooh, I like that one! But yeah that’s how you get LGBT bigotry and hypocrisy. Sure, it starts with misinformation, then the misinformation grows and lots of fake news stories spawn as a result of the insanity. And here’s how the abortion insanity fits into the Family Values conference. I mean seriously this is almost as bad as Utah’s “funerals for fetuses” law.

The state of Alabama is seeking to enforce a state law against a commonly used second-trimester abortion procedure. The state has appealed a federal judge's ruling that blocked enforcement of the state's 2016 law banning abortion through dilation and evacuation. State lawyers wrote a brief filed last week for the 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals, say the procedure is described as "particularly brutal." U.S. District Judge Myron Thompson ruled that ban would cause Alabama women to lose access to abortion in the state after fifteen weeks of pregnancy. Randall Marshall is the legal director of the American Civil Liberties Union of Alabama. He says he's confident Thompson's decision will be upheld. He calls it a well-reasoned opinion.

http://apr.org/post/pro-lifepro-choice-forces-square-over-medical-procedure#stream/0 (short article)

And in case you’re wondering how the racism factors into the whole Family Values coalition, you may think it’s dead, but it’s very alive and well in Alabama.

Alabama has been in the news of late, what with Jeff Sessions, President Trump's controversial attorney general, hailing from there, and the state's Republican governor, Robert Bentley, in possible danger of impeachment after he was found to have had a sexually explicit conversation in 2016 with his then-chief adviser.

But there is something else to consider about Alabama that reflects on its history and the country's current racial divide. It's about the state constitution, which was written in 1901 and designed to limit local government and disenfranchise blacks. It has been amended more than 800 times since then and is the longest constitution in the country and possibly the world, at what the Council of State Governments says is 388,882 words.

Yet in the 116 years since it was written, and after all of the efforts to modernize the document - many of those efforts aimed at revising or eliminating racist language - these racist words still reside in the document:

"SECTION 256 - Of course, legal racial school segregation was banned throughout the United States by the Supreme Court in the 1954 Brown v. Board of Education decision, and federal law trumps state law."

Read more: http://www.kokomotribune.com/cnhi_network/alabama-constitution-still-calls-for-separate-schools-for-white-and/article_d7097724-35f0-5beb-9e99-d1fef495bdaf.html

Yeah so racism and sexism are very much alive and well in Alabama! If you want to talk about Family Values, we got to talk about all aspects, folks! And this state will never change, ever. All 49 states could go blue in 2020 and there’s only one who would still be a holdout. Yup – you guessed it, Alabama. Maybe Mississippi. In fact this is the state that gave us, in addition to Robert Bentley and Roy Moore, who we previously covered, our current attorney general – who has the most pretentious Alabama name possible – Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III – who has tried to prosecute his own challengers, which makes us wonder what he’s hiding:

“In September 1982, Bob Gulledge, a first-term Democratic state senator, was preparing to defend his seat when Sessions indicted him for alleged land fraud conspiracy….
A mistrial was declared after jurors could not reach a verdict. But by then, Gulledge had lost his party primary contest, and was out of his re-election race altogether”

“As the next election season approached in late 1984, Sessions struck again. The city commissioner, Gary Greenough, was sentenced to 10 years for allegedly stealing a cut of the profits from Mobile’s municipal auditorium, a city-run entertainment venue…
Greenough, who had, with Lambert Mims, pushed through municipal contracting reforms that left Sessions allies out of pocket, always maintained his innocence.


Next on the agenda, we return to the Volunteer State. It’s the home of such universities as bracket-busting Middle Tennessee, and Vanderbilt and the University of Tennessee. It’s also the home of such world class sports teams as the Nashville Predators, Memphis Grizzlies, and the Tennessee Titans. And I do love the music, and Tennessee has lots of it, and some of the best in the country. It’s the home of the Grand Ole Opry and Jack White’s Third Man Records. Tennessee is also the home of the famous “Don’t Say Gay” bill which George Takei took and turned into a meme using his own name:

But what else has happened in Tennessee lately in regards to LGBT bigotry and hypocrisy which is the subject on the table here? Well let’s go back five years ago when Tennessee officially declared war on same gender families when they banned all local laws regarding everything about the LGBT community – this is the only state that has this on the books! Not even Alabama can top this!

GOP Tennessee Gov. Bill Haslam today signed the bill overturning Nashville's non-discrimination ordinance. The bill also effectively outlaws all local LGBT rights laws statewide as it bans any discrimination protections not already offered by the state. It was strongly opposed by several major corporations following a letter-writing campaign launched by Americablog Gay.

In an apparent attempt to score cheap political points, Tenn. Governor Bill Haslam has ignored the business community and signed into law a bill that wipes out county and city anti-discrimination laws, despite the Tennessee Chamber of Commerce and Industry reversing their earlier support and now opposing the bill. The measure – SB 632/HB 600 – passed the legislature last week and was designed to remove protections for LGBT Tennesseans by prohibiting cities and counties from enacting discrimination bans. Since there are no state protections for sexual orientation or gender identity, the Governor’s signature of this bill becomes a green light for anti-LGBT discrimination across the state.


Well, speaking of evil plans finally coming together – look at what is happening now as we speak. While Alabama may be old school and traditional, Tennessee is coming up with some very modern and extremely evil ways of unleashing the bigotry. This is going on in Nashville right now as we speak!

Heather MacKenzie bought her wedding ring at Wal-Mart. MacKenzie, now 38, proposed to her wife, Charitey, by driving to the top of Tiger Hill in Murfreesboro, a town located near the couple’s Tennessee home. The hill, a favorite spot for preteen sledders during the winter, looks over the entire town, as well as the vast expanse of the surrounding area. This was where the MacKenzies had their first date.

The pair said “I do” in June 2015, just days after the Obergefell v. Hodges ruling legalized marriage between same-sex couples in their state. The MacKenzies were wed in Nashville in front of the courthouse under a magnolia tree.

Over a year later, the couple are expecting a child: Charitey is 12 weeks pregnant with a son. A trio of recently proposed laws, however, could jeopardize the future of their growing clan. This legislation seeks to erase any hint of legal recognition for LGBT couples in Tennessee, all but declaring war on the families of same-sex parents living in the state.

Filed by State Rep. Terri Lynn Weaver, House Bill 1406 would prevent a couple from listing on the birth certificate the second parent (the spouse not giving birth) after a woman becomes pregnant through artificial insemination. The legislation would nullify a provision of the Tennessee Code Annotated 68-3-306, which was issued as part of the Vital Records Act of 1977. The law states, “A child born to a married woman as a result of artificial insemination, with consent of the married woman’s husband, is deemed to be the legitimate child of the husband and wife.”

Read more: http://www.salon.com/2017/02/27/tennessee-has-declared-war-on-same-sex-families-inside-the-legislation-that-would-eradicate-nearly-all-rights-for-lgbt-couples/

Fucking hell! That’s about as evil as it gets – is Tennessee becoming as strict as Russia when it comes to LGBT rights? Well let’s examine this further. I mean we’re still not done with all the evil and havoc that TN is doing to make the rights of its’ LGBT citizens simply disappear:


Tennessee legislators on Monday passed a bill that could jeopardize access to mental health treatment for LGBT individuals, part of a string of recent anti-LGBT legislation in the South. Therese are racist and bigoted bills to allow the haters to rejoice.

The GOP-sponsored bill, which now goes to Gov. Bill Haslam (R), allows therapists and counselors to reject patients they feel would violate “sincerely held principles.” Haslam hasn’t indicated whether he will sign the bill into law.

Gay rights and mental health advocacy groups have protested the bill and urge Haslam to veto it because it could permit mental health professionals to discriminate against LGBT patients without legal liability.

The bill passed by the legislature is a more discriminatory version of legislation approved earlier this year. That measure stated that therapists and counselors could turn away patients based on “sincerely held beliefs.” The state House last week passed a version that expanded grounds for shunning patients to “principles,” which the Senate approved on Monday.

Yeah this is exactly the kind of thing that LGBT rights activists fear if the nuclear version of Indiana’s “religious discrimination” law goes nuclear under Trump, and it will, and Trump of course will sign it meaning that this shit can happen. Just… fuck you, GOP. Fuck every single last one of you! But we’re still not done! Remember the “Don’t Say Gay” law? Would you be surprised to learn that the author of the bill is under investigation for having an affair? And he’s a die hard fundamentalist Christian? And he thinks Modern Family shouldn’t be allowed on TV? This gets better and better!


Do you remember Tennessee state Senator Joey Hensley? He's the guy who won the seat of wildcard lawmaker Stacey Campfield, an infamous advocate for a "Don't Say Gay" bill that would ban schools, administrators, and even students from discussing anything related to homosexuality. Senator Hensley, who has been a lawmaker for 15 years and happens to also be a medical doctor, took up the mantle of pushing the ugly legislation. He also pushed a Tennessee bill that would allow discrimination against LGBT people and atheists by mental health students, allowing them to refuse to treat people, as part of their required training, if they expressed a deeply held religious belief.

Hensley still claims to be a good Christian conservative. He thinks "Modern Family" shouldn't be allowed on TV, but supports a pro-"MILO" bill created to ensure conservatives are allowed to speak on college campuses. It's named for that former Breitbart editor who advocated for underage sex between older men and teenaged boys as young as 13.

And the kicker? The woman who he’s having an affair with is also his cousin! Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? This is every bad southern stereotype rolled into one! And we’re still not done! Did you know that if you’re a man in Tennessee you can claim you’re a parent of a child by singing “The Circle Of Life” from the Lion King? We shit you not! This is a real thing!

If you’re a man living in Tennessee, state law says you can claim paternity by performing what reads like a line from a famous Disney movie about a lion cub.

A man is presumed the father of a child if “while the child is under the age of majority, the man receives the child into the man's home and openly holds the child out as the man's natural child,” a state statute reads.

Rep. Terri Lynn Weaver, R-Lancaster, cited that statute in defending legislation she introduced that would repeal a law that grants legitimacy to children conceived through artificial insemination in married heterosexual couples.

Weaver said repealing the law means "the state will no longer intrude into how a woman conceives her child," while other state rules about marriage and children would remain in effect.

Read more: http://www.tennessean.com/story/news/politics/2017/02/20/lawmakers-lgbt-advocates-far-apart-marriage-parenting-bills/98065390/

There, men in the audience – you are now all officially parents in Tennessee! All you have to do is sing along! And in case you’re wondering if God indeed trumps even Trump, in Tennessee, this just happened this week:

NASHVILLE, Tenn. (AP) — A previously defeated proposal to amend the state constitution to say that God is the source of Tennesseans' liberties has been resurrected in the House.

The measure sponsored by Republican Rep. Micah Van Huss of Jonesborough failed on a 3-3 vote in the House Civil Justice Subcommittee earlier this month. But the panel agreed to a motion to reconsider the bill made by Republican Rep. Martin Daniel of Knoxville.

The resolution is scheduled to be reheard April 5.

The proposed addition to the Tennessee Constitution would read: "We recognize that our liberties do not come from governments, but from almighty God."

Read more: http://www.chron.com/news/us/article/Tennessee-bid-to-name-God-as-source-of-liberty-11037728.php

And The Winner Is…

Holy shit, folks! We have a major upset in the tournament brewing! For the first time in six years it looks like the champions in Alabama are going to be unseated by tournament newcomer Tennessee! They are very surprising in how low they’re going to stoop to make the lives of its’ LGBT community that much more miserable, and they utterly destroyed the reigning champions! Final score 75 – 52. That is what we call a “mercy killing”! I tell you anything can happen in this tournament! They will move on to face the winner of the Montana – Missouri matchup in the Gun Nut Conference. But next time – we will go back to the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference. Michigan. Kansas. The winner moves on to face Texas for the Layover League championship. The loser goes home. Stay tuned! Things are heating up, folks!

And now this:
The Violent Femmes

Ladies and gentlemen, playing their song “Issues” from their album “We Can Do Anything”, available everywhere music is sold, please welcome the one the only Violent Femmes!

Yeah how about… wait, what? They want to stick around for one more? Sure!

We are off next week, we'll be back on Wednesday 4/19 with a brand new edition. See you in two weeks!

McConnell: Gorsuch Is Going To Be Confirmed One Way Or The Other

President Donald Trump's Supreme Court pick, Neil Gorsuch, will be confirmed this week one way or the other, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said on Sunday, suggesting he'll trigger the so-called nuclear option if Democrats attempt to filibuster Gorsuch.

"Judge Gorsuch is going to be confirmed," McConnell said on "Fox News Sunday." "The way in which that occurs is in the hands of the Democratic minority."

McConnell did not say directly that he would trigger the nuclear option, in which the chamber's rules would be changed to allow the Senate to cut off filibusters on Supreme Court nominations with a simple majority, instead of the current 60-vote threshold. But he said the week "will end with confirmation" whether or not Democrats attempt to filibuster him.

Democrats say that if the filibuster remains in place, they have the votes to torpedo Gorsuch’s nomination.

“It’s highly, highly unlikely that he’ll get to 60,” Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer said on NBC’s “Meet the Press.”

Fuck. You. Mitch. You belong in prison as much as Trump you treasonous rat bastard.

Patrick Stewart Dons Drag To Impersonate Kellyanne Conway

Even Patrick Stewart thinks he is “twinsies” with White House counselor Kellyanne Conway when dressed in drag.

The actor made his one-word statement on Twitter after a photo of him in drag posted to Reddit went viral thanks to a comparison between Stewart and New Jersey-born and bred Trump advisor Conway. Stewart, People points out, dressed as a woman in 2016 to promote Blunt Talk, his since-canceled Starz sitcom. In the Reddit posting, the user notes that “Sir Patrick Stewart in drag looks a lot like Kellyanne Conway.”


No word on whether Stewart or SNL are interested in a Conway-style cameo. Conway has not commented on the comparison, but did recently tell TMZ that her favorite SNL skit parodying her is the show’s “Day Off” sketch.

“It’s charming,” Conway said of McKinnon’s portrayal of her on the show.

Stewart, meanwhile, told The View earlier this month that he hopes to soon become an American citizen and is “now applying for citizenship” to oppose President Trump.

“I want to be an American, too,” Stewart said. “All of my friends in Washington said: 'There is one thing you can do. Fight, fight, oppose, oppose.' ”


Please do SNL! Please do SNL! Please do SNL!
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