Democratic Underground

The Supremos - Episode 2
March 14
by The Shifties

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SCENE: Psychiatrist's office.

Dr. Phlemmi: It sounds as if you feel you and your colleagues are being unfairly criticized.

Justice Supremo: Most definitely. The media, they're the worst.

Dr. Phlemmi: Why not do something about it?

Justice Supremo: Hmmmm...

SCENE: The following day, outside the Supreme Court Building in Washington. A reporter from the Washington Post approaches Justice Antonin Supremo.

Reporter: Mr. Justice, is it true you attend church with accused rogue FBI agent and traitor Robert Hanssen?

Justice Supremo: Absolutely not.

Reporter: I happen to have a photograph of you with Mr. Hanssen on the church steps.

Justice Supremo: Doesn't mean I know the guy.

Reporter: But you're embracing. And he's handing you something. (points at photo) That appears to be the edge of a $100 bill.

Justice Supremo: Lemme see that. Oh, him. I thought he was my wife's hairdresser. (irritably) Okay, I remember. It was a donation to the ACADL.

Reporter: The what?

Justice Supremo: The Arch Conservatives Anti-Defamation League.

Reporter: I don't believe I've heard of that.

Justice Supremo: It's new. It's to stop all this Bush bashing.

Reporter: What do you mean by 'bashing'?

Justice Supremo: Makin' fun when the guy says somethin' stupid. You wouldn't do that if he was from the ghet-to. Not everybody gets the benefits of a good education.

Reporter: I thought the President went to Yale University.

Justice Supremo: Yeah, well, his parents shoulda asked for a refund.

SCENE: A week later, in the psychiatrist's office

Dr. Phlemmi: You were explaining how you demonstrate leadership within the Court.

Justice Supremo: Oh yeah. You have to be subtle. Persuasive. Influence your colleagues through force of argument.

Dr. Phlemmi: You mean morally?

Justice Supremo: Exactly.

Flashback: In Chambers. Justice Supremo meets privately with Justice Thomas.

Justice Supremo: Clarence, yesterday, I got the feeling you were going to ask a question.

Justice Thomas: I didn't.

Justice Supremo: But you wanted to. (sighs) You got a pretty good gig here.

Justice Thomas: I know that, Nino.

Justice Supremo: When a guy's got money in his pocket, nice lookin' wife, free dry cleanin', why would he wanna fuck it up, just for the sake of openin' his big yap?

Justice Thomas: But...

Justice Supremo smacks him.

Justice Thomas: Owww!

Justice Supremo: Sorry. I temporarily lost control of my emotions.

Justice Thomas: You didn't haveta hit me.

Justice Supremo: No talkin' in court, hear me? I don't even wanna see your lip quiver. 'Cuz if I do, I'm smackin' you right there in open court.

Justice Thomas: You wouldn't.

Justice Supremo: Try me, bitch.

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