They're mad, they're bad, they're conservatives! And here they come again with yet another chronic bout of literary diarrhea. It's quite fascinating really, if you think about it, that some people are SO offended by Democratic Underground that they actually sit down and take the time and trouble to explain to us exactly why we're wrong point by point, in great detail, when they know that they're just going to end up getting laughed at by thousands of people on this page. There's probably a psychological study in there somewhere. But I digress...
These are all completely real. E-mail addresses and last names have been removed (well, the ones that aren't fake), but we have NOT edited them for content, grammar, or spelling.
How Many Times Do We Have To Tell You... We Don't Make Them Up!
From: "-------, Murray" <--------@----.com>
Date: Tue, 26 Jun 2001 10:35:42 -0500
Subject: Hate Mailbag
First let me state that I am a conservative, but I enjoy reading your website for a laugh. Regarding the Hate Mailbag, I'd just like to make one point: I strongly suspect that many of these ignorant, racist, profane E-mails you're receiving are from DU supporters trying to demonize the right. But then I'm sure that if an alleged liberal sent in a similar E-mail that you'd be sure to print that too. Wouldn't you???
DU RESPONDS: Um, no, of course we wouldn't. Have you completely missed the point of this entire website? And as for thinking that our hate mail comes from liberals pretending to be conservatives - that's a pretty powerful case of "denial" you have right there. You might want to see someone about that.
Our Crap Is Better Than Their Crap
From: --------@hotmail.com (f ------)
Date: Sat, 7 Jul 2001 08:09:43 -0400
Subject: web site
this is allmost the same crap as the dnc website puts out!
DU RESPONDS: Oh yeah? Well let us know when the DNC website starts featuring hatemail from idiots will ya?
When Baseball Bats Go Bad
From: -------@hotmail.com (John ----)
Date: Wed, 27 Jun 2001 14:41:44 -0400
Subject: Bat control
Teen Kills Friend with Baseball
Bat (An unregistered baseball bat.)
BTW, I caught your reply to my e-mail in your hate-mail bag. Don't be self denigrating, I don't hate you guys. I don't condone bombing abortion clinics or persecuting homosexuals either. I wonder how you attributed these attitudes to me by the mail I sent you. I'll have a rational or even somewhat heated argument with you anytime. I disagree with your views, that doesn't mean I dislike you or the people who post on this site. Oh, and it doesn't make me a dumbass either. I used to be a liberal but my learning process didn't stop there. I've realized that militant liberalism is just as much a hindrance to liberty as right wing militancy. Oh well, I don't expect you to understand, you've made up your mind and set it in stone.
Just waiting for the next profanity,
DU RESPONDS: "I wonder how you attributed these attitudes by to me by the mail I sent you" says the man who sent us an email telling us how much we love to burn books. Interesting news article by the way. Tell you what though, get back to us when you've got a story about someone hitting a home run with an AK-47 (registered OR unregistered, just to make it easier).
Hey John, Here's That Profanity You Were Looking For!
Date: Sun, 8 Jul 2001 21:45:50 -0400
Subject: Liberals Fucking Suck
Go suck on a fucking horses dick you god damned liberals!
DU RESPONDS: Right on! Another supporter of the famous "liberal satanic bestiality agenda!" Welcome to the team!
Hey, I Didn't Know They Were Making Conservative Chatbots
From: "chickenjim" <----------@----------.com>
Date: Sat, 7 Jul 2001 10:12:46 -0400
Subject: Oh Please!!!!!!
you guys are really pitiful ........ just get over it ....... you lost .......
DU RESPONDS: Somehow this just doesn't seem to have the same VIGOR that it used to. It's almost like they've stopped trying. Sigh.
The Most Laughably Bad Logic Of The Millenium Award Goes To...
Date: Sat, 07 Jul 2001 15:37:23 +0000
Subject: Thank God for George W. Bush
Thank God George W. Bush is President. With regard to the "popular vote" that you cherish, it means nothing legally. It does, however, point out very clearly how many people did not want Al Gore as president. It's amazing how a fair and equitable procedure for voting that has worked in this country for over 200 years suddenly doesn't work when the results are not in your favor. What cry-babies. If you're looking for a majority vote to use, perhaps we should use the total number of states that were won by a candidate. You can't possibly have a problem with that. Overwhelmingly, George W. Bush would stay on top. If you're still crying about the Supreme Courts ruling that Florida's "guess a vote" was illegal, it was the correct decision. Your constant sobbing is pathetic. Get a life.
DU RESPONDS: You're absolutely right - it does point out very clearly how many people did not want Al Gore as president. In fact, it almost wasn't as many as didn't not want George W. Bush to become president, and that's a fact, Jack. I like your idea of counting the total number of states each candidate won though, because anyone with a brain can see that total land area is much more important than the individual's right to vote. Fair's fair - you win.
And Speaking Of Whining Crybabies...
From: MK ULTRA <-----------@-----.com>
Date: Tue, 3 Jul 2001 08:33:19 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: you people are clowns
one message and you clowns delete the account. What's the matter....can't stand to have the idiots that are your members see the truth. You morons didn't even give the post a chance to be replied to. So much for the right to free speech that you all are always crying about. Just so you know...your little underground is a joke. Not one of your posters post facts. You're propagating nothing but lies and the day will come when people finally start to realize what liberals are all about...and it's then that all of us conservatives will get the last laugh. You can't stop our message from getting out! Sooner or later...the truth is gonna set them all free and for those that resist, there will be hell to pay. Literally. In case you haven't already noticed....conservatives are winning the war even with the negativity spewed across the nation by your media. Wanna know why? Because in time...what goes around comes around.....yours is comin'.. can you hear the footsteps? That's the giant that is Conservatism....the right to the wrong. Your worst nightmare is coming true and you can't stop it. Hope that really makes your day.
DU RESPONDS: Ooh, I'm shaking in my boots. Let's take a quick look at Bush's approval rating shall we? March, 63%. April, 59% May, 55%. June, 52%. July, 50%. Yep, I can hear those giant footsteps of conservatism alright - slinking out the back door while nobody's looking.
How To Get Rid Of Your Most Valuable Asset
Date: Thu, 5 Jul 2001 20:29:18 -0400
Subject: Sen.John McCain
If it looks like a democRAT, smells like a democRAT, talks like a democRAT and acts like a democRAT he must be a concervative idiot.
DU RESPONDS: Man, you really have no idea when you're onto a good thing do you?
Scary Polite Christian Hatemail
From: "Carolyn ----- " <--------@-----.rr.com>
Date: Sat, 7 Jul 2001 08:12:16 -0400
It is people like you that have helped make our great Country on its downward trend. You are not capable of good straight writing so you have succumbed to the filth of the Democrats. Their one way of thinking has done so much harm to our country. Some day, when you bend your knee to God, (and you will, He promises)you will understand what damage you have done. This e-mail certainly won't stop you but in the back of your mind you will always remember what I have said and it will come to light some day.
What a great Country we have and can write or say anything we want.
DU RESPONDS: Dear Carolyn, thank you for your kind words. Taking all things into consideration, you are absolutely right. All we need to do is leave the filth of the Democrats behind and improve our writing skills, and we will be saved. Thank you so much for showing us the true path! We'll see you in heaven.
Just Slightly Baffling
Date: Sat, 7 Jul 2001 08:17:09 EDT
Subject: Just read first time
I stopped after one article...........The G.D. one. I don't like using God's name this way. Not in any form, not just your web. Also, why can't people write a complaint or info without the F word??????? The same article. I want read again. I think I will become a Republican. It seems anymore Democrats can't talk nor write without the F word. Grow up.
DU RESPONDS: No idea what you're talking about pal. G.D.? What's that? Grey Davis? Great Danes? Gelatinous Dirigibles? As for the F word, tell us about it. Jiminy Cricket, you can't open your inbox these days without people writing F this and F that. It's so very juvenile. I sometimes wish they'd just fuck off and leave us alone.
Is It Just Me Or Are These Getting More And More Incomprehensible?
Date: Sat, 7 Jul 2001 09:11:29 EDT
I was hesitant to send any kind of message to you because I do not wish to receive or have any further contact with your site. I only want make one comment. Has Hillary and Barbara found a new way of setting up a war room sense being rejected by the House in Washington, DC? How corruptive people have become for power, recognition, and self promotion, it is despicable.
Please do not respond just absorb the thought.
DU RESPONDS: Well, I've been absorbing it for about ten minutes now, and it still doesn't make any sense...
A Letter From John Stossel
From: -------@excite.com (M ------)
Date: Sat, 7 Jul 2001 11:09:35 -0400
Subject: Underground like an ostich's head
I see you are in Florida so I don't understand you compulsion about the existence of global warming when Florida had the coolest winter on an average temperature basis since the 30's. Everything on your site is the same hackneyed democratic nonsense. The democrates are stuck in the 70s and the Republicans are stuck in the 80's and McCain should be President. By the way, the kids are getting brainwashed w/ global warming and a bunch of other crap.
DU RESPONDS: Actually we're in Washington D.C., but hey, you're the expert. Ooh, ooh, don't tell me... "The Kids Are Getting Brainwashed w/Global Warming And A Bunch Of Other Crap," was the title of your doctoral thesis, right?
The Secret's Finally Out
From: --------@--------.net (Bill ------)
Date: Sat, 7 Jul 2001 11:12:24 -0400
Subject: Global Warming
In the early 70's all we heard was that with the smog of car's and factory's we would have an Ice Age within 50 to 100 years. The last few years we hear that the same factors will cause Global warming. WHICH IS IT??????? I would really like to know, thanks..........
DU RESPONDS: It's neither. They were both just a big plot to make you give up your SUV so that we can force you to drive a little Japanese car, and thus feel like less of a man. Then, by election time, you'll feel so girly that you won't be able to stop yourself from voting for the Democrats. Clever, huh?