Hate Mailbag
Volume 3

We haven't had too much hate mail lately. Guess that's because we're such lovable rogues. It appears that even the conservatives have a soft spot for our satirical shenanigans. Either that or they're just a bunch of lazy bums. Come on conservatives! Where's the outrage? Anyway, here's the latest batch, and as always...
These are all completely real. E-mail addresses and last names have been removed (well, the ones that aren't fake), but we have NOT edited them for content, grammar, or spelling.


The Power Of Ron
From: -------------@hotmail.com (Ron ------)
Date: Thu, 22 Feb 2001 18:01:28 -0500
To: mail@democraticunderground.com

message: I got the FBI to shut down that email harassment page to President Bush.

Have a nice psychotic democrat day!

Ron Hinton
Forum Host

DU RESPONDS: Um, Ron - bad news. The FBI probably get email from wackos ALL DAY. And that could be why your message ended up in their trashcan and we didn't hear a peep out of them. Better luck next time.


You Spin Me Right Round, Baby
From: "Cathy ---------" <----------@home.com>
Date: Mon, 26 Feb 2001 09:05:20 -0800
To: <mail@democraticunderground.com>
Subject: Your page is full of propaganda, half-truths and trash

You will never do as well as the conservative web pages such as Druge Report, and Newmax.com because you have to "SPIN" to commentate. "SPIN" = LIES and democrats are particularly good at it.


DU RESPONDS: Cathy, we hate to admit it, but you're right. We went over to www.drugereport.com and www.newmax.com and goshdarnit, we couldn't find a single lie or fabrication.


It's Cathy Again! Hey Cathy!
From: "Cathy ---------" <------@-----.net>
Date: Mon, 26 Feb 2001 12:07:23 -0800
To: <mail@democraticunderground.com>
Subject: gore is a loser. na-na-na-na-na

DU RESPONDS: Whoops, looks like Cathy's meds wore off before she managed to write a message.


Won't Somebody Think Of The Children?
From: -----@aol.com
Date: Mon, 26 Feb 2001 17:33:22 EST
To: <mail@democraticunderground.com>
Subject: sick people

You are a bunch of sick little boys and girls. Get over yourselves and get some real jobs.

DU RESPONDS: Would you believe it? When we are not working at DU we actually hold jobs as pediatricians at the local children's hospital. Thus we do indeed spend most of our day with a bunch of sick little boys and girls! Sir, are you psychic?


Oh No, Now WE'RE Conservative Idiots!
From: citizen@democraticunderground.com (Conservative Idiot)
Date: Mon, 12 Mar 2001 14:20:37 -0500
To: mail@democraticunderground.com
Subject: Democratic Underground

Below is the result of your feedback form. It was submitted by Conservative Idiot (citizen@democraticunderground.com) on Monday, March 12, 2001 at 14:20:37

because: Your column is boring, and the reasons yu give for your nominations, are utterly absurb. Your nominees and the reasons you give are so trite and inane it borders on the idiotic.

Submit: Submit .

DU RESPONDS: Argh! Skewered on the pointy stick of our own Idiots submission form... oh, the irony... the overwhelming irony...


Keith Successfully Reads Between The Lines
From: "Keith --------" <---------@--.--.com>
Reply-To: "Keith --------" <---------@--.--.com>
Date: Thu, 1 Mar 2001 19:21:08 -0500
To: <mail@democraticunderground.com>
Subject: intern

For this intern position, must one perform intern duties similar to those performed by the White House intern staff on the last Democrat president?

Keith --------

DU RESPONDS: You bet your sweet buns, Keith baby. Are you in?


Um, Did You Miss Something Important?
From: "RONDALD ------" <-------@prodigy.net>
Date: Wed, 7 Mar 2001 22:56:55 -0500
To: <mail@democraticunderground.com>
Subject: lieing ass democrat lunatics

You waco democrats should all be underground. Long live president elect Bush.

DU RESPONDS: Hi Rondald (if that's your real name, assuming that you can spell your own name of course). Sorry, but we're not from Waco. And I think that your parent or guardian must have neglected to tell you that Bush was inaugurated on January 20th.