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Hey you fucking losers! What's up? You know, there's nothing I enjoy more than sitting back with a cool cigarette and a glass of St. Agnes and finding out what a sniveling, limp-wristed, ignorant, faggot communist I am. I can't tell you how good it makes me feel about the state of the union. And although I enjoy these little interludes, mark my words - when I'm supreme ruler of the universe, these people will be first up against the wall. But, gentle readers, rest assured. You have my solemn word that not only will I shed a tear as the rifles are cocked, I will subsequently pour a 40 on the curb. As usual, these emails have not been edited in ANY WAY, except to preserve the anonymity of the senders. Because we care.

Hey You Fucking Losers!
Date: Mon, 7 Feb 2005 21:34:22 EST
Subject: Hey you fucking losers!

When the fuck are you gonna update the hate mail? Thats the only thing worth reading on your rag of a website. Oh yea FUCK OFF!

Racists Biggut

DU RESPONDS:  Woohoooooo! And away we go...

Josh ----- []
Sent: Sunday, January 30, 2005 2:40 PM
Subject: WFT! Are the people on DU really that retarded or what?

DU RESPONDS:  RFLOMOA! Not as retarded as you, sir!

Condi Rising
Colonel J. ----- []
Sent: Wednesday, January 26, 2005 9:54 AM
To: ''
Subject: Barbara Boxer, you are DISGUSTING

Your attacks of Condi Rise are DISGUSTING! You have made yourself a laughing stock in the Senate. You have absolutely ZERO CLASS, and now everybody knows.

You and Teddy Kennedy - book end ultra Liberals!

I will do all I can to see that you are NEVER ELECTED AGAIN.

Colonel J. -----

DU RESPONDS:  Dear Colonel, go fuck yourself. Yours sincerely, Barbara Boxer.

The Lonely Meanderings Of A High School Dropout
Fri, 4 Feb 2005 11:48:14 EST
Subject: Hate Mailbag

I don't hate you guys, I pity you for your foolishness and insanity.

You have yet to grasp the idea that people will not want to follow you guys after you have called them wingnuts, rethugs, gun nuts, etc.

That is why you guys will never win another election in the near future.

Get over it already - GWB, the bumbling, stumbling, idiot, beat your two geniuses twice!

DU RESPONDS:  Well, yes... but you know why the bumbling stumbling idiot beat our geniuses, right? Because so many people like you VOTED FOR A BUMBLING STUMBLING IDIOT. So does that say more about us, or about you?

Date: Tue, 1 Feb 2005 03:35:07 EST
Subject: membership revocation

I just registered a short time ago (like an hour or so) and suddenly my membership was revoked. May I ask why? my username is yngcelt.
Shawn L.

DU RESPONDS:  Hi Shawn, wait a second, I'll just go check...


Tue, 1 Feb 2005 03:52:19 EST
Subject: membership revocation

I just recently (like an hour or so ago) registered on your website and posted at least three comments in the General Discussion-Politics forum. Suddenly, my membership was revoked and my messages were deleted. May I ask why that is?
Shawn L.

DU RESPONDS:  Well, you seem like a nice polite fella, Shawn, I guess the moderators made a mistake. Give me a moment while I turn your account back on...

...No Cigar

Date: Wed, 2 Feb 2005 20:44:13 EST
Subject: Where's the tolerance?

So let me guess, you didn't like my postings under yngcelt because they threatened your total lack of acceptance and so-called "tolerance' of others. You know, I read your membership guidelines and I have to tell you I have never read so much hypocrisy or double talk since Michael Moore's last book! You say your website is a place for debate. WHAT DEBATE??!! How can you have any kind of a debate if you only allow those who you agree with to post? You democrats accuse the Republicans of being closed minded and intolerant when it is you who are closed minded and intolerant. Go on any right leaning website and see if they will allow you to post if you disagree with them and their beliefs. Guess what? They do allow other viewpoints and encourage open debate on issues. It's no wonder you guys lost the last two elections. What a sad, and pathetic party you belong to. Oh well, see ya in 2008!! Losers.
Shawn -------- esquire
--------, HI
P.S. I sent some attachments of some inspirational artwork for y'all!

DU RESPONDS:  Shucks... if only you could have held that in for just another few minutes... oh well!

By The Power Of Grayskull
Michael -------
Date: Sat, 12 Feb 2005 19:33:52 -0600
Subject: (no subject)

DIE, you sniveling, limp-wristed, ignorant, fagot COMMUNISTS!!!

DU RESPONDS:  Sorry sir, your spell has failed. You need to be a 24th-level mage to cast that kind of black magic, and as a 1st-level gnome, you're no more powerful than a toadstool. And when I say toadstool, I mean toad stool.

Horo' Show
From: []
Sent: Tuesday, February 08, 2005 9:46 AM
Subject: Hello

I don't know if any of you chaps read at Front Page Magazine... I think not. However, I am a regular there and, after reading at your website for a week or two, I now post the ''best post of the day'' from DU on the first thread at FPM, so all the great conservatives we have there can see exactly how far ''round the bend'' you are. Enjoy --WE do.

And many thanks.

DU RESPONDS:  Is that the Horowitz rag? That's got to be one of the worst designed websites I've ever seen. Keep up the good work, fellas. You look even less credible than we do!

Meet The Parlocks
Phil Parlock
Date: Fri, 28 Jan 2005 20:05:18 -0500

Very Truly Yours,

Phil Parlock

DU RESPONDS:  Hey Phil! Terrorized your own daughter for political purposes recently?

Phil Parlock
Date: Fri, 28 Jan 2005 20:13:57 -0500
Subject: That is my children's e-mail account!... Thanks lefty liberals.

Afraid of contrary opinions.

Now you see why you lost.

Phil Parlock

DU RESPONDS:  Gee, no wonder she's crying - you stole her email account! You rat bastard!

Phil Parlock
Date: Fri, 28 Jan 2005 20:22:33 -0500
Subject: Remember, you still owe me a bumper sticker.

Very Truly Yours,

Phil Parlock

DU RESPONDS:  Bumper sticker's on its way, Phil. Give it to your daughter, maybe that'll cheer her up.

My God Is Bigger Than Your God... Oh Wait, No He Isn't
Harry -----
Date: Sat, 12 Feb 2005 15:08:01 -0800
Subject: (no subject)

America would like to remind the Democrat Party that ""THEY"" are entirely responsible for this unfortunate situation.

A dog had followed his owner to school. His owner was a
fourth grader at a public elementary school. However,
when the bell rang, the dog sidled inside the building and
made it all the way to the child's classroom before a
teacher noticed and shoo'ed him outside, closing the
door behind him. The dog sat down, whimpered
and stared at the closed doors. Then God appeared beside
the dog, patted his head, and said, "Don't feel bad fella'....
they won't let ME in either."

DU RESPONDS:  Not wishing to be rude Harry, but I thought God was supposed to be with you at all times. You know: "...the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you..." and all that stuff? And here you are comparing Him to a whimpering dog? Where I come from that's called blasphemy, bub!

What A Rush
Harry -----
Date: Wed, 2 Feb 2005 15:09:28 -0800

    Be of good cheer libbies. relief is in sight for the agony you feel from your defeat.
    A month of listening to the great Rush Limbaugh and your hatred for the President will disappear. The soothing and truthful pearls of wisdom expressed by Maha Rushy will repair your short-circuited liberal minds, enabling you to become loyal Americans again. You will be able to apologize to the Iraqi people for saying they were not ready self-rule democracy.
    One month with Rush will convince you to join the conservative tsunami sweeping across America. Wow! you will be able to smile again and mean it. Isn't Rush wonderful?
Harry G. ----- URANTIA BOOK reader. -------, CA.

DU RESPONDS:  Harry, I hate to break this to you, but Rush Limbaugh is a crackhead.

The Definition Of "Obsession"
Date: Fri, 11 Feb 2005 18:26:31 EST
Subject: HAHAHA LOL Took the bait! Can you find the other names? Tick Tock

Wow, you guys just ain't so quick anymore. I've been back on for weeks now with 3 different user names and you finally got one! LOL but only cause I let ya. Things have gotten really slow/boring at DU and I figured I really could care less anymore about being able to post. Everything has become redundant anyway. So I figured I'd throw out a herring to see how long it would take lol. Course, I still got my other two names, we'll have to see how long it takes you to spot them, or maybe next week I'll throw another post as a clue like the Andy post earlier. I mean the guy licks another guys ass and I'm supposed to donate money? LOL I figured what a perfect time to get rid of that name!

Anyway, you can't beat me Skinner. Your lack of respect by ignoring my genuinely sincere emails pissed me off. You look like some loser and yet you think you have a right to just be all powerful? Doesn't work that way bub, sorry. I always get what I want.

For now I'll keep on posting with my other names, and may even create a few more accounts for fun. Every post I make I smile, cause I know I'm getting one over on you and that you don't have any control over whether I am present on the boards or not, simply because I'm better than you are. Anyway I am not a freeper, I hope you don't think that I am. I truly value our values and truly do help with the fight. But I'll be damned if I let some 'got beat up all the time in school' punk ignore my sincere requests.

Know what? I'll give you a quick hint. Under one of my other names I use I have already left a question in the past in the ATA forum, and you've responded. I was laughing my ass off that I got you to reply.

That's it for now dave!


DU RESPONDS:  I don't know what's more sad... the fact that Jeremy here apparently gets a boner playing hide and seek on an Internet message board, or the fact that he hasn't figured out that the people he's trying to play with don't give a shit. To be fair, I'm guessing that the only reason he's trying to play with us, as opposed to the kindergarteners down the street, is that he's not allowed within two hundred feet of young children.

Selfish Seditionists In Session

Sandy ------ []
Sent: Wednesday, February 09, 2005 4:55 PM
Subject: You Guys Are Seditionists

You welcome the 1st Amendment but you are merely attempting to destroy this country from within.
You likely have a very fragile ego and a terrible family relationship.
And you call those men the "Taliban" - how intolerant are you!
But you're an American-and our guys are dying for the likes of you.
What a shame....I'm certain God is watching every single thing you do and say.
Count on it.

We left the Dem Party because of your kind of hate speech and selfishness.

Paul and Sandy -------

DU RESPONDS:  Let me take these points one at a time:

"You welcome the 1st Amendment but you are merely attempting to destroy this country from within."

Yes, I always forget that the First Amendment doesn't apply to people who disagree with Bush. So... who are the ones trying to destroy the country from within again?

"You likely have a very fragile ego and a terrible family relationship."

Actually I have an enormous ego, three wives and seventeen children. (And as I've mentioned in previous Hate Mailbags, they're all on welfare.)

"And you call those men the "Taliban" - how intolerant are you!"

But... but... Focus on the Family told me that "tolerance" was a code word for "butt sex." So am I supposed to be tolerant or intolerant? You guys are confusing me.

"But you're an American-and our guys are dying for the likes of you."

Actually our guys are dying because Bush sent them to Iraq to find weapons of mass destruction which didn't exist, and then tried to salvage his credibility by turning it into this whole "liberation" thing - which he didn't make any plans for, thus turning the entire occupation into a quagmire from which there is now no escape. We were trying to stop that from happening. But whatever.

"What a shame....I'm certain God is watching every single thing you do and say."

Well, if God is watching everything I do and say it'll be up to him to judge me, not you. By the way, He just told me I could call you a dumbass.

"Count on it."


"We left the Dem Party because of your kind of hate speech and selfishness."

Balls. If you guys were ever Democrats, I'll twist my own nipples. And voting for Zell Miller doesn't count, 'kay?

Oh, I Think My Sides Have Split
From: JOHN T ------
Tue, 25 Jan 2005 23:07:09 -0500
Subject: Bernard Weiner

The article on your web site by Bernard Weiner - co edits The Crisis Papers should read: Bernard Weiner co-idiots The Crisis Papers.

DU RESPONDS:  You must be the guy that writes Carrot Top's jokes.

A Republican Says Too Much
Sat, 08 Jan 2005 18:07:41 +0000
Stay Underground

I'm sure this email won't be deemed worthy of Hate Mailbag status because it's not an F-bomb laced tirade from some Red State hick that you can post with a smug little response to elicit giggles from your elite fanbase. But there is a good reason that you need to be (and stay) "underground". The level of cynicism and spinelessness that is consistently demonstrated by the articles posted on your site is sickening. One can only hope that America will, as it always has in the past, rise to meet its challenges amidst the constant whining of the children who are clueless as to what is actually good for them. You may wonder why someone of my opinion would even bother visiting your site, and it would be a legitimate question. I can only provide the analogy that trying to understand the mindset of the left is like staring at an accident scene: you are at once repulsed and strangely fascinated. As the "main stream" majority that you so abhor begins to really understand the self-destructive nature of today's out-of-touch liberals, you will continue to find yourself ever deeper underground. Grab a shovel - it's time to start digging.

DU RESPONDS:  Aha - you're one of those Bush voters who enjoys playing the base for suckers on issues like gay marriage and abortion! We don't get many of your sort around here - you're normally too busy off laughing at the rubes. I assume you enjoyed your tax cuts while the "Red State hicks" lost their health insurance? I assume you smugly patted yourself on the back when Saddam Hussein was captured while the "Red State hicks" are still losing children in Iraq every day? Eventually they're going to figure this game out, you know.

And Now... The F-Bomb Laced Tirades From The Red State Hicks

From: []
Sent: Tuesday, December 21, 2004 11:50 PM
Subject: how can I help??

I want to make sure you scum fuck liberals bitch and moan as much as possible for the next 4 years. How can I rub it in your face the best? DO NOT REPLY TO THIS E-MAIL!! YOU WILL BE REPORTED TO THE POLICE FOR HARRASSMENT IF YOU DO, SCUM!!!!!

DU RESPONDS:  Oh yeah!? Well........ uh, wait. What?

Wed, 17 Nov 2004 15:18:39 -0800
From: ---
Subject: I wnat to help


DU RESPONDS:  That's okay, I like it wherever.

Jesse -----
Date: Sat, 30 Oct 2004 17:28:43 -0500
Subject: Hey!


DU RESPONDS:  Yahtzee!

A Voice Of Reason

Mark ------
Sat, 8 Jan 2005 09:27:41 -0700
Only demo....

Only democrats are perfect, right!

DU RESPONDS:  FINALLY someone who understands what we've been saying all along.

A Gay Old Time

THOMAS -----
Date: Sun, 7 Nov 2004 15:19:26 -0600
Subject: DU is the official Gays Only Forum

Thanks to you moderators?, you have opted to exclude anyone who voices disagreement with the gay freaks.

Many of the disenfranchised straight people are leaving for other quarters and so they should. They have no voice at DU, unless they approve of the gay lifestyle.

Stop blaming our dissent solely on Christians. There are millions of non-Christians who find this gay marriage argument as ludicrous. That includes a great number of labor Democrats. Once you successfully run them off, then you can rename your party Gayocons or something fitting.

Have a nice day, Gaylys.


DU RESPONDS:  No, stop. Please don't leave. No, really. Don't go. We really want you to stay. Hello?

Lowering The Tone
From: Cory -----
Date: Mon, 17 Jan 2005 14:06:16 -0500
Subject: The posts lately on your site

Democratic Underground, I am concerend about some posts on your website lately. The language is terrible and I do not like the tone.

You WILL honor Bush on Jan. 20. He is our President and he has a mandate. Liberalism is dying. And Ted Kennedy is the BEST thing for the GOP!

:-D Four more years!

DU RESPONDS:  Unfortunately, Cory, despite your terribly un-American order to grovel before a politician, I failed to honor Bush on Jan 20. But I will not disagree that the president has a man date.

The Four Minute Man
From: Constitutional Rights []
Date: Sun, 30 Jan 2005 06:16:07 -0800 (PST)
Subject: Dictators all

Do you still wonder why we are kickin' your fuckin' asses in the elections? It's because you refuse to discuss the issues that you disagree with. I love the fact that I was removed from your forum in four minutes. Please let me know if that is a record. I'd love the braggin' rights.

Dan Blather and Tom Brokejaw have nothin' on you when it comes to propoganda.

I will shower in your grief after the next election.

What a dick you are.

DU RESPONDS:  And don't tell me... you're not going to shower until then, right? Incidentally four minutes isn't even close to the record, so no bragging rights this time. But you could try for four minutes next time you have sex with your wife, who, sources tell me, is also the family pet. Best of luck!

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