Michele Bachman's 4pm phonecall from the President

[FogerRox]

Staffer: Michele, the White House operator just called, the President is calling for you.

White House Operator: Michele Bachman, please hold for President.

Barack: Michele, Good afternoon, how are you today.

Michele: Much better, I had a migraine this morning but I'm feeling much better now, thanks for asking though.

Barack: Well thats god to hear. Let me get right to the reason I called you, I'm proposing a 5 year 7.5 trillion dollar stimulus bill to create 10 million jobs, I'd appreciate your vote.

Michele: Oh like that has a chance of hell coming to a vote in the House, you know that don't you? And even if it did come to a vote in the House it wouldn't pass anyway. And of course the answer is no.

Barack: Well then, next week I'm going to be in your district explaining to your constituents your plans to vote against their 30,000 jobs. The news conference is tuesday at 3pm, in time for the local 6 oclock news.

Michele:......... you're going to do what?

Barack: I'm going to your district to talk to your constituents, telling them that you're going to vote kill their jobs. I'm calling John Boehner next, hurry up, whats your decision?

Michele: You have got to be kidding me, theres no way I'm going....

Barack: It very simple Michele, without your support, your democratic opponent and I will be campaigning in your district. Jobs are the number one issue to Americans right now, and we'll use this issue to defeat you in November.

Michele: You back stabbing little....

Barack: Look the GOP owns most of the debt ceiling deal and most of the S&P downgrade, but I want to up the ante, I'm betting 10 million jobs that the GOP owns these jobs and we wipe the floor with the Republicans in November. If you support this proposal, you can go back to your district and tell your constituents that you acted in the spirit of bi-partisanship to address the number one problem faced by Americans, the lack of job creation. We'll allow you to take credit for helping grow the economy thru job creation. You have an experienced campaign staff and your are a veteran campaigner, I'm sure this will be a gimme putt for you, getting re-elected this November.

Michele: What if Beohner blocks it from a vote?

Barack: My deal with you is only that you vote for the bill.

Michele: So let me see of I have this right, If.... your bill comes up for a vote.... and I vote yes, you stay away from my district.

Barack: I give you my solemn oath I will not campaign against you or step foot in your district for 2 years. Face it Michele, your best chance at re-election is to convince your voters to give you credit for helping to create jobs. Otherwise you have to ask yourself if you can survive politically.

Michele: I need some time to think this....

Barack: A couple of days?

Michele: 3 days.

Barack: Fine.

X-Posted from Daily Kos Keynesian Kossacks.
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/08/14/1006900/-Michele-Bachmans-4pm-phonecall-from-the-President?via=recent

[Bluebear]

1. That could happen.

:sarcasm:

[FLAprogressive]

5. +1

[FogerRox]

10. Its not his style. Yup.

[SammyWinstonJack]

51. LOL!

:spray:

[pinboy3niner]

68. More likely: "Hey, Michele--Do you have Prince Albert...?"

Or "Hey, Michele--BITE ME!"

:evilgrin:

[Fearless]

2. There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man....

It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call the Twilight Zone.

[FogerRox]

8. Fearless you honor me, thank you very much.

My wee bit of fiction bows down before your affirmation.

[demwing]

3. you're assuming she'd take the call

But K&R anyway :)

[FogerRox]

4. Thanks,

[yardwork]

6. I wonder why this is being voted down. K&R just for that.

[FogerRox]

7. Wow, thats hard core. 2 negs, been a member since

2005, I have video interviewed SKinner down at a DC protest against the war and Bush, provided some of the best researched pieces on DU over the years. But when it comes down to it, somepeople are not capable of accepting an idea out of their frame of context. OTHOH letting the economy slide into a double dip or full blown Depression is down right criminal.

SO if I think a full blown jobs bill is the order of the day, should I assume those negative votes are against widespread creation of jobs in America?

Let me ask everyone else, what else could be the justification of 2 people voting down an OP about creating jobs?

...If those 2 people are not for job creation, then WTF are they doing at DU?

[gateley]

21. It's being voted down?? Yikes - I think it's great! What's the

problem here?

[FogerRox]

31. Its not even a serious piece, and all hit and run downraters

with out the courage to show their face.

At Daily Kos, if you downrate or uprate, then your name is seen. Go figure.

[yardwork]

62. I think that everybody should see who recs and unrecs.

It's already an anonymous board. At the very least we should be able to see who is unreccing progressive OPs.

[FogerRox]

67. Yes. Might help community policing, without creating work for the Mods.

[FogerRox]

9. I am ashamed of DU, that a post about job creation would get so many down rates.

and with out a comment of explanation, all hit and run.

[AmBlue]

15. DU-INOs strike again....

You know, DUers-In-Name-Only.... very predictable these types.

FWIW, I gave it a K&R.

[FogerRox]

19. LOL, Yup. Justa wee bit of fiction, not even serious. Appreciate it,

[Silent3]

18. It's not the idea of job creation that is earning unrecs...

...it's the naivete of the hypothetical scenario. Bachmann and her ilk wouldn't be scared of a proposal like that, and they wouldn't fear the effect of Obama campaigning against her on it. She'd just call the jobs program a "job-killing big government plan" and her Tea Party supporters would happily lap it up, considering any negative remarks by Obama the sign of the Blessing of the Lord.

[gateley]

23. Even if that's the reason for the unrecs, it's VERY well done and

a pleasure to read! What's wrong with these curmudgeons?

[FogerRox]

28. I am humbled, thank you very much.

Many times I write heavy pieces with lots of research behind them, sometimes a bit technical. But sometimes a lighter piece can brighten things up a bit.

[HCE SuiGeneris]

25. I was a hit and run'r. But, it was in appreciation of your post.

Now I'll give it the kick it deserves, too. :)

[FogerRox]

32. Appreciate that, glad you enjoyed.

[nadinbrzezinski]

11. You just got a rec, and people are weird

I will leave it at that

By the way, that is EXACTLY what people were fawning over last week, all week, with Tweety

[FogerRox]

13. Robert Reich and Tweety

Chris asks why the President was doing nothing, Reich says I dont know...... That was 3 down rates, I have never seen one of my OP's get hit, ever....

[kpete]

12. K&R

peace, kpete

[FogerRox]

14. thanks kpete, cant believe I had 3 down rates, wow

Went to my hi school reunion last night , wasnt sure I wanted to go, but it was real good. Hooked with folks from even 5th grade. OMG

[Jim Lane]

16. Even Bachmann, dim as she is, would recognize this call as a hoax, not from the real Obama. (n/t)

[FogerRox]

48. You do not get it, this about the real Obama, calling all GOPers

in the House and Senate to ask real members for real votes on a real bill, purely hypothetical of course, but obviously you utterly missed the entire gist of the OP.

[Jim Lane]

65. LOL, yes, I got it.

You were saying you wished the real Obama would do this. I was jokingly making the point that, unfortunately, the real Obama would never dream of doing anything like this, and thus the only way the real Bachmann would ever get such a call would be from a hoaxster.

I completely agree with you that Obama should be making calls like this. In fact, he should have been making them in the first month of his term, in support of a much larger stimulus bill.

[bahrbearian]

17. Bawhaahaahaha Like that would ever happen

[FogerRox]

20. Thats why I wrote it as a light piece of fiction. Tried to be humorous.

Originally I had Michele Bachman telling Obama "Bite Me", but I edited it out.

[bahrbearian]

22. I know and I really appreciate it, good work.

[FogerRox]

26. Thank you very much, my pleasure :~ )

[gateley]

24. Author! Author! VERY well done -- thanks!! nt

[FogerRox]

33. Thanks.

[vercetti2021]

27. That would be nice

But that would only happen in the twilight zone.

[FogerRox]

64. Alternate Universe of some sort, certainly not this Universe

[krawhitham]

29. There is no bully pulpit for Obama

People use to fear the president, that is not the case anymore. The GOP has no respect for the office of the President as long as there is a black man in charge

No Respect = No Fear

Michele would turn the deal down and then call the President a liar, and the GOP would believe her over Obama

[MilesColtrane]

34. Precisely

Also the media controls the message.

FDR's fireside chats used to reach millions and millions: most of the voters.

Obama gives a news conference, or a speech with question and answers, and some cable news anchor characterizes it in one sentence ("The President attacked critics of his plan today...") and MAYBE they show a three second clip of him speaking.

[FogerRox]

35. Hypothetical, its not about Bachman, in this scenario

Obama would be calling everyone, BECAUSE HE'S TRYIG TO GET VOTES, so every GOPer in the House would be getting the same call with the same threat.

The GOP believing anything is not the point, the process is import. the Prpposed bill is important, the
It forces to GOP to either go against the jobs bill, and risk defeat in detail come Nov 2012, or try to mitigate the damage by voting for it and claiming credit.

Heres the headlines

Boehners kills 10 million jobs.

How do you think the WPA jobs program, or the Wagner Act got passed? DO seriously think there was no armtwisting during the Start of the New Deal, or by LBJ to get the Civil Rights Act passed........ Ahem......lets be real here...

[FogerRox]

45. And Obama used the Bully pulpit to good effect in the campaign

As a tool, its vanished......

[Hissyspit]

30. kick nt

[FogerRox]

38. Thank you friend :~)

[Divine Discontent]

36. may that fantasy come to pass... he MUST do something big.

http://www.cafepress.com/barackobama12

[FogerRox]

37. Its a long time until Nov, plenty of time for the potential

double dip to be a reality before election day. Even Jon Corzine says the odds are increasing, adding to the same said by others like Delong, Krugman and Stiglitz.

[Kalidurga]

39. I saw make the jobs program proposal and don't give them an option...

don't call them and ask for votes, let them be stupid and vote against it.

[FogerRox]

40. Right, if they block the vote.. we run on that.

If they vote it down in the House, we run on that..

If it passes, were heros and we run on that.

Its a winning hand.

[Bigmack]

41. If the call had been from LBJ....

It would have gone like this...

LBJ: Hello Michelle..this is your prezdent.

B: Um ... hello

Michelle: Let's do this the easy way. I need your support on a jobs bill... otherwise things are gonna get unpleasant for you. Support me, and you'll get Federal bucks and good stuff, oppose me.... well, let's just use an old Texas expression: "You play ball with me or I jam the bat up your ass." Do I need to give you examples of how this kind of situation resolved in the past?

B: Ummm ... no, Mr. President

LBJ: Then I have your support..?

B: I suppose so.

LBJ: Good... good... now, how's them orphans or whatever you take in doin'? Hell, I saw that picture of you eatin' a corn dog and LAUGHED... whoooeee.....

[FogerRox]

42. LOL, so true, LBJ was the consummate armtwister of his generation.

[TroglodyteScholar]

69. Wish I could rec your reply!

:D

[Fleshdancer]

43. Kossacks are doing Presidential fan fiction now?

Does anyone else think this is an odd way to discuss politics? :shrug:

[FogerRox]

44. A common literary tool.

[Fleshdancer]

46. True, this is just the first time I've seen it used for political discussion. n/t

[FogerRox]

47. Most times I write very technical diaries with lots of research etc.

I wanted to write something more lighthearted and maybe humorous.

[treestar]

56. Yes, and it's based on fantasy, just like fan fiction is

That's one of the silliest pieces of fan fiction ever (and they can be silly).

[Maven]

49. NOT LIKELY

[FogerRox]

50. Yes, definitely not his style.

[treestar]

52. Holy cow, that is stupid

It would be really, really stupid of any President to do that.

What would Bachmann really do with that?

You've got to be kidding. This is dreamland. Republicans simply do not agree with the concept, therefore they would not be scared shitless by this. They believe their insane crap.

[FogerRox]

53. LBJ was the consummate arm twister, The threats were how we got the Civil rights Am.

Head Start, CCC & WPA.

Not into History, at all?

[hifiguy]

54. My thought exactly.

LBJ would never have been that courteous in demanding, and getting, what he wanted. He laid down the law and that was it on things like the Civil Rights Act and Voting Rights Act.

[treestar]

57. There is something wrong with being courteous?

And you are making LBJ sound like a thug. No, the President is not supposed to be a criminal. This is either false slander of LBJ or admission he was a thug.

[FogerRox]

59. Well thats makes it clear, you're not knowledgeable of History

Knowledgeable about how we got Social Security, the right to collective bargaining (Wagner Act), Head Start, Child Labor Laws in 1937 and 1938. Or even the Civil Rights Act.

Funny how you use the word Stupid, and then call for courtesy, you do realize some see that as hypocritical?

[treestar]

70. By threats and thuggery?

That's how we got those things? Talk about handing the right wing a talking point.

[hifiguy]

58. Courtesy goes so far.

LBJ knew that there came a time when people had to be made aware of the consequences for not cooperating especially when the chips were down, as they were with those pieces of legislation.

[FogerRox]

61. Dont you know the Magna Carta was signed without a fight?

Just like all the elements of the New Deal.

What a total Pwned.

[treestar]

55. Oh really, so he got people who did not believe in those things at all

to vote for them because he threatened to campaign in their districts?

They know their districts. One who can win the Presidency is not one who can win every single district. The rep only has to win THAT district and they know that district and what it stands for.

the district that picked Bachmann would not vote for Obama if he spent the whole campaign there. And it would be stupid of him to zero in on that district. If he can get enough other areas of MN, he can get all of MNs EVs.

And if this is the kind of thing LBJ did, then he was wrong. That sounds bullying and corrupt and undermines our system. Reps should be able to vote as they think their districts want, rather than being threatened in some way by the President.

[FogerRox]

60. Please, where are there Americans who dont want jobs?

Name me one GOP member of the House, whose District would want no job creation?

[treestar]

71. They think it is to be done another way

Now I know that Republicans can be very stupid. But they believe less government will be what leads to more jobs. They don't just believe Obama when he says something. In fact, if Obama came to their district to tell them water is wet, they'd say he was lying.

[FogerRox]

63. Is that courteous for you to say> "Holy cow, that is stupid"?

[FogerRox]

66. Kick-in