"When He Comes To Walmart He Gets Aroused."

[n2doc]

AUGUST 10--A Louisiana man arrested yesterday for driving around a Walmart parking lot with his penis exposed explained to cops that “he gets aroused” when visiting the retail giant, according to a police report.

Travis Keen, 28, was busted on an obscenity charge and booked into the Ouachita Parish jail, where he is being held in lieu of $5000 bail.

Keen, pictured in the mug shot at right, was collared after a witness reported to police that a man driving a Ford Taurus drove past him “with his penis exposed.” The witness, who tailed the Ford as it drove around a Walmart parking lot in Monroe, told cops that when the suspect “saw a female in the parking lot he would stop and watch them.”

When Officer Colby Spillers confronted him, Keen reportedly “stated he did have his penis out because of past experiences he had at Wal-Mart. Keen stated when he comes to Wal-Mart he gets aroused.”

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/aroused-by-walmart-657483

[WCGreen]

1. Cheap Thrills in aisle 37 of the parking lot....

I Kid I Kid I Kid....

[nadinbrzezinski]

4. Naughty... BUT FUNNY

:spank:

[Enrique]

2. i have a practical question

how do you drive a Ford Taurus with your penis exposed?

[SoCalDem]

5. faster faster faster?

:rofl:

[lame54]

7. Let's just say it's very impressive

[Rosa Luxemburg]

19. OMG!

the coffee nearly went over the laptop! :rofl: :rofl:

[SoCalDem]

3. Wow!.. a see-through Taurus..

:rofl:

[originalpckelly]

6. Mr. Keen, that's not the way to stick it to Wal-Mart.

:P

[dipsydoodle]

8. Hardly surprising

with all those beauties about.

[cwydro]

14. One can always count on DU

to find those who judge people on their looks or bank account.

Makes me sick.

[mysuzuki2]

17. lighten up Francis

[Warren DeMontague]

23. ***

[av8rdave]

9. All one has to do is visit...

peopleofwalmart.com to understand his arousal.

:rofl:

[krispos42]

10. So, what kind of services are they performing in the service bay?

Lube jobs? Checking his undercarriage?

[gkhouston]

26. Rollbacks. n/t

[TheCowsCameHome]

11. Evidently his Ford CliTaurus didn't do it for him anymore, eh?

Life ain't fair, Travis.

[Aerows]

12. Oh my

You know, even if that was the truth, no sane person would admit it. He needs an all-expense paid vacation at the funny farm.

[Obamanaut]

13. Yep. Louisiana.

When there is an OP re weird, bizarre, horrendous, etc. actions by anyone in Florida or Texas, there will often be a one word response in the thread - "Florida" or "Texas" - suggesting that's where all the weird stuff happens.

Turn about is fair play.

There is no geographic boundary to weird. It is everywhere

[Shagbark Hickory]

15. Who doesn't? There's so many sexy people there they even made a website showcasing them...

http://peopleofwalmart.com

[MissDeeds]

16. I bet he votes

a straight Republican ticket.

[TwilightGardener]

18. How would anyone see his wank if he's sitting in a car?

[gkhouston]

25. They're in a truck? n/t

[AnnieBW]

20. You really CAN get anything at Wal-Mart

Sam Walton would be so proud.

[Initech]

21. Handjobs on aisle 5... Clean up on aisle 6...

[lpbk2713]

22. Is that a four on the floor ...

or are you just happy to see me?


:rofl:

[Warren DeMontague]

24. Cheaper than being turned on by Hammacher Schlemmer, that's for sure.

:shrug:

[LuvNewcastle]

27. If Wal-Mart gets him aroused,

I wonder what happens when he goes to Macy's.

[eppur_se_muova]

28. Still not as crazy as thinking God wants him to run for President.

Given a choice, which of those two would you rather describe your neighbor?