New agreements on the debt deal leaked...

[ticapnews]

House Democrats agree to give their Republican counterparts a massage 3x a week (still negotiating details re: Happy Endings).
GOP candidates for POTUS in 2012 are able to campaign in Air Force One twice/month.
All GOP voters get free upgrade to cable/DSL; Dems to pay $100/month for 56K dialup.
If "Super Congress" ideas are not implemented, NFL lockout resumes.
MSNBC and CNN will cancel programming and simulcast Fox News Channel.
Constitution will be rewritten to ban homosexuals (unless they're hot chicks).
Every Saturday there will be a car wash where Senate Dems clean the cars of Congressional GOP.
Those who earn <$15K/year become pets of those who earn >$1M/year.
Each time a person on Social Security gets sick, they have 1 in 10 chance of going on ice floe.
GOP to mark Shark Week by using Democratic staffers as chum.
"Liberalism" redefined as mental defect; Soma prescribed as cure.
National Anthem will be rewritten by Lee Greenwood.
US must be involved in at least two wars at all times.
Amendments 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 13, 14 , 15, 16, 17, 19 and 24 to the US Constitution are repealed.

[cantbeserious]

1. Satirical Truth Finally Emerges

eom

[ticapnews]

4. Satire?

These are actually in the agreement! :P

To be fair, there is no agreement yet; negotiations continue. So there's still time to give away more stuff to the GOP.

[gtar100]

2. And that's the compromise!

;( Sad how this captures the essence of Obama's negotiating tactics.

[DirkGently]

3. All textbooks to be replaced with a mashup of Altlas Shrugged & the King James Bible (Old Testament)

... introduction by Glenn Beck & Michele Bachmann.

[awoke_in_2003]

5. "National Anthem will be rewritten by Lee Greenwood"...

that may be the scariest one on the list :) Seriously, I wish he would take that "god Bless the USA" and shove it up his ass, sideways.