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FlyingSquirrel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-21-09 02:07 AM
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Somewhat humorous article, quickly unrecced from Editorials/Other Articles

Thought I'd repost the whole thing here for those who may have missed it. /

Bar the gays, ban the cigs?

By Dr. Wes Browning

One of the things I thought would happen, the day after Obama took office, was Dont Ask, Dont Tell would be rescinded and he would flat-out order the military to stop discharging homosexuals. Instead, after nearly six months of no movement on the subject, a study commissioned by the Pentagon and the Department of Veterans Affairs recommends a total ban on cigarettes in the military, including a ban on smoking in quarters and a total ban on sales of cigarettes on bases.

Before I begin exhaling the rant that is just now forming in the pit of my tar-stained lungs, I should explain my relationship to the subject at hand. No, I am not a veteran, I was an Army brat. And no, I dont smoke. Well, not for almost 12 years now. I watched my Army dad smoke three packs a day for decades, getting incredible deals on cheap smokes even well into his retirement, first at Fort Lawton, and then when he couldnt buy them there, down in Fort Lewis. Then, I watched him die of cancer. So I totally get that smoking is bad for you. But I bet you get that, too: Youve seen the PSAs. So well just brush that aside and get to the heart of the matter.



We cant have gays in the military because it would be socially disruptive. Sort of like the kind of social disruption you get when you tell the one in three smokers in a room they not only cant smoke there, they cant smoke anywhere on the planet. The Pentagon will see Seattles 25-foot rule, and raise it to a 25,000-mile rule.

And what about the security of this country? OK, I cant have gays in my countrys military who can translate from Arabic to English and keep my ass from being blown up by Al Qaeda. Fine, Ive come to accept that. But now I find out that my country will no longer be recruiting people who cant quit cigarettes, cigars or chew, even though they know it could kill them (because theyve seen the PSAs). Excuse me, but who does that leave? Are we only going to be defended by mooses, squirrels and aging Boy Scouts who still call their mothers every day? Are there really enough of those?

Then theres an irony that begs notice. Theres the gay/cig connection. Its not widely known by you young people, but there was a time Marlboros were a favorite gay mens cigarette. When Marlboros were originally created in 1924, it was marketed as a womans cigarette. The slogan was Mild as May, and the ads showed a feminine hand (Mays?) reaching for a pack. Straight men wouldnt touch them, and would be embarrassed to buy them in a store. Being filtered cigarettes, rude conceptions and ruder jokes sprang up in the culture. Tampons vs going bare-assed come to mind. But Philip Morris didnt care as long as the product had a decent share of the market.

In World War II, sales of Marlboros tanked, so they started to think about changing their image. Eventually, in 1954, they came out with the Marlboro Man ads, forever linking even filtered cigarettes with macho straight images.

As an immediate consequence gay men were forced to don cowboy hats and boots in order to continue to smoke their favored brand of cigarettes without clashing. This in turn led to Village People, Brokeback Mountain, and gays in the military, but thats like death by cancer its neither here nor there.

Whats your point, Wes? OK: What are our servicemen supposed to do now during R & R: Play Scrabble while sucking on beef jerky?

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Ohio Joe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-21-09 07:42 AM
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1. Why am I just not surprised...
That this would get un-rec'd. The worst part is, I honestly don't think that people that are un-recing anything to do with "the gay" are not liberals... I think they are liberals that just don't think it is a very important issue... and that really bothers me.
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