Boston Globe: Activists Change the Pronoun in the Debate on Abortion

[MountainLaurel]

SAN FRANCISCO - Jason Baier talks often to the little boy he calls Jamie. He imagines this boy - his son - with blond hair and green eyes, chubby cheeks, a sweet smile.
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But he'll never know for sure.

His fiancee's sister told him about the abortion after it was over. Baier remembers that he cried. The next weeks and months go black. He knows he drank far too much. He and his fiancee fought until they broke up. "I hated the world," he said.

snip

These days, he channels the grief into activism in a burgeoning movement of "postabortive men." Abortion is usually portrayed as a woman's issue: her body, her choice, her relief or her regret. This new movement, both political and deeply personal in nature, contends that the pronoun is all wrong.

"We had abortions," said Mark B. Morrow, a Christian counselor. "I've had abortions."

http://www.boston.com/news/nation/articles/2008/01/13/activists_change_pronoun_in_the_debate_on_abortion/

[ismnotwasm]

1. I think I'm gonna throw up

Sacred sperm again, huh? What was Mr. Christian counselor doing having pre marital sex with a woman who obviously wasn't on the the same page as he? Or at all?

He most certainly did NOT have an abortion, anymore than he's had a miscarriage. He'll never risk a pregnancy. Ever. There is no "we".

There is something inherently sick about this. Probably primitive in nature, kind of a throw back to misunderstanding of menses and pregnancy. Several cultures thought a women "unclean" during menses. Thought bleeding after childbirth "unclean." Not sharing in the experience, primitive thought was frightened by it. This is more like a parasite emotion, piggybacking on the experience the female body, and only the female body can have.

The manipulative emotionalism is also very sick. I'd cross a street to avoid this guy.

[Samurai_Writer]

2. A snippet from the article

"Morrow, the counselor, described his regret as sneaking up on him in midlife - more than a decade after he impregnated three girlfriends (one of them twice) in succession in the late 1980s. All four pregnancies ended in abortion.

Years later, when his wife told him she was pregnant, "I suddenly realized that I had four dead children," said Morrow, 47, who lives near Erie, Pa. "I hadn't given it a thought. Now it all came crashing down on me - look what you've done.""

The guy impregnated 3 women (one twice). All of them had abortions. You can't tell me that at the time, he was not encouraging them to do so. Later in the article, one of the girlfriends says that while sitting in the clinic, she was waiting for him to say 'Don't do this.' He never said a word.

So now that he's married and has a kid, he wants to create this 'oh, woe is me, my 'babies' were killed by abortion by my former girlfriends'. Notice he doesn't take responsibility for his part in the abortion decision. Since he accompanied at least 1 girlfriend to the clinic, I assume he had a say in it.

[smokey nj]

3. Postabortive men? Give me a fucking break!!!!

:grr:
There aren't words to describe how much this "movement" disgusts me. :puke:

[MountainLaurel]

4. That was my reaction as well

In addition to a general :wtf:

[bliss_eternal]

5. Uh...no

...you did NOT have an abortion! Your wife, girlfriend, fiancee, etc. had an abortion, and this co-opting of a procedure for the sake of forced birthing is nothing more than political bullshit.

Pardon my tone but reading this crap made me want to vomit.

Where are the men claiming "they've been raped"?
All of the wonderful "post-traumatic men" whose partners were assaulted? Where are the men clamoring for a piece of the rape identity? What...? ...no one wants any part of true emotional trauma? No, no of course not. Let's just create it. :eyes: They would rather mourn the loss of a mass of cells, while creating imaginary appearances for them and giving them names. :grr::mad::puke:

[ismnotwasm]

6. BAM!

That was out of the ballpark, Bliss. Excellent.

[bliss_eternal]

7. lol--It's infuriating...

...to read this kind of shit:

Quote:
A few months ago, Morrow reached out to the former girlfriend who aborted twice. They met and prayed together, seeking peace. After they parted, she spilled her anger in a letter: "That long day we sat in that God-forsaken clinic, I hoped every moment that you would stand up and say, 'We can't do this' . . . but you didn't." :eyes:

Quote:
Last spring, the Supreme Court cited these accounts as one reason to ban the late-term procedure that opponents call "partial-birth" abortion. The majority opinion suggested that the ban would protect women from a decision they might later regret.



There are a multitude of reasons women choose to abort.
Some simply know they don't want children, now or ever. We all know there is no hospital in the land willing to grant a young woman(without children) a tubal, to ensure she never gets pregnant.

The above excerpt spells out loud and clear that for many women, the decision to abort is based on the man.
If he isn't "interested" at the time, she may choose to abort.

It could be a one night stand, and the woman has no desire to be potentially tied (forever) to what she considers a "sexual encounter" at best.

A woman could be in a relationship with a guy, and knows him well enough to deem him an unsuitable potential parent. Maybe he's an abusive asshole, or an immature slacker that shirks responsibility and sleeps in his mother's basement.


Whatever the reason, how dare this pathetic little man create a movement, because he was too chicken shit at the time of his partner's pregnancy?

Yes, of course--let's punish ALL women because a man now lives with the remorse and regret of treating a woman like crap.
Boo-fuckin-hoo...my heart bleeds for this asshole, and men like him. :nopity:

The Supreme Court isn't helping to protect women from anything. History shows us the Supreme Court doesn't give a shit about women. They are merely making it easier for men to bully women, on the basis of a man's sense of entitlement. Color me surprised...not. :eyes:

[ThomCat]

8. As a guy, I'll say he's full of shit.

He's just feeling possessive, and he needs to get over it. The fact that he's so positive it was a son says a whole lot. He comes across as a totally sexist control freak.
x(

[bliss_eternal]

14. Glad you weighed in on this one, Thomcat.

Nice to see a male perspective on this--at least an "enlightened male perspective." ;)

[Ilsa]

9. Once again, these self-centered men have tried to make it "All about ME."

Well, boo-hoo. If it was a good enough decision for him then, then he shouldn't be trying to shovel his regret like shit in a barn.

[MountainLaurel]

10. LTTE about the article

RE "ACTIVISTS change pronoun in the debate on abortion: Shift emphasis to men's feelings of lost fatherhood" (Page A15, Jan. 13): Reading about the pain of men who have lost their child or children to abortion was heart-wrenching, and their regret is palpable. Unfortunately, women are not merely incubators, and they do get to decide whether they wish to carry a pregnancy to term.
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Antiabortion activists are sending men the message that their stories "will help legal efforts to end abortion." But the message these men should share with each other is: "My story should serve as a warning that if you are about to have sex with a woman with whom you are not in a permanent, exclusive, and nurturing relationship that will be able to support a child with everything he or she will need, you risk the pain of losing a child to abortion - so zip up your little soldiers." That could help make abortion obsolete and legality a nonissue.

LISA MacLEAN
Roslindale

http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/editorial_opinion/letters/articles/2008/01/20/men_and_their_abortions/

[bliss_eternal]

13. Love it...!

Thanks for sharing this, MountainLaurel!

I was really peeved while reading the original article, because there was no acknowledgement of the fact that at least some of these guys (if not all) did something along the way that showed themselves to be "not ready" for parenthood. (As well as no acknowledgement of the woman's right to choose to abort, for her own reasons). Yet these guys want to whine about it and play the blame game, after the fact. I'm glad to see a LTTE that is holding them accountable for what their true role is. and challenging them on their "pain" after the fact.

[WildClarySage]

11. These guys didn't have abortions. They weren't ever pregnant.

No danger of them experiencing debilitating morning sickness, or risk losing their jobs for missing work over it. No danger they might end up on bedrest for 3-6 months because of hypertension or preterm labor concerns. No danger of developing gestational diabetes, no risk to them of hemorrhaging during delivery.

If you ain't pregnant, and you're not the one facing the real risks to your own body, then you don't have the abortion. Your partner does. And you need to be considerate of her risks before you let loose Little Mr. ControlFreak.

[bliss_eternal]

12. Awesome post...!

:applause:

Very well said!

I really appreciate your bringing up all that goes with pregnancy. So many focus on the result, and few pay any attention to the process of pregnancy--all that a woman endures. Women have been written up and some even lost their jobs because they were sick in the first or second trimester, so sick they missed work. Gestational diabetes is merely ONE of the diseases a woman can develop during a pregnancy. Thank YOU for this! :thumbsup: