Her name was "AzLady." She joined in 2008, but lurked for years prior. She was on the quiet side here, so many may not recognize her name. After I finally talked her into joining, DU and politics were all she could talk about. She loved DU. She posted here as long as she was physically able, but read until the end.
She fell ill a few years back, starting with a few symptoms and quickly went downhill over the past few months. She went doctor to doctor seeking help but was only given meds which usually didn't help. She had no health insurance since she lost several jobs, couldn't afford it and her home was in foreclosure. Over the past few months when the pain had gotten so bad that she was bedridden and spent her days moaning in pain, she begged for additional tests, but was denied due to her lack of health insurance.
Her husband begged the hospital to admit her and run a few tests a week ago (he did this often) and they finally complied. The tests showed that she had advanced stage colon and liver cancer. They gave her a week to live and she died last night holding her husband's hand. :cry:
I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense or if this post is all over the place. I'm in shock and numb. I somehow wonder in my mind had she had health care if they would've given her the necessary tests sooner and she'd still be here.
Azlady was my best friend and more like a big sister to me. :cry: She just turned 50. Her husband is crushed. She was a very big-hearted person. She was the kind of person to give whatever she could to help someone in need.
I'm beginning to ramble, so I must go now. :cry: Please keep her and her husband in your thoughts/prayers.
This is a terrible story. So preventable if we had REAL access to health care in the US.
It makes me infuriated, devastated, and just plain horrified when I read about this. 50 years old!! AZlady had DECADES to contribute to our world....
:nuke: :grr: :cry: :cry:
I HATE what our society has become when we can't take care of people like your good friend. I know my words of comfort are probably cold comfort but please know her story means something, means a lot and I hope that helps you and her family today and in the days to come. Please know that stories like this are important and that her memory lives on....
My condolences to her husband, family, and friends (including yourself).
I have no words. It's stories like this that leave me both unbearably sad and angry at the same time.
This woman did not have to die like this and should have been able to receive the diagnostic support and medical treatment that any other citizen in any other industrialized country would have received.
Another needless death caused by our messed up "health care" system. 50 years old is WAY too young - and early detection and treatment of her cancer could have saved her - if she only had access to it.
51. This is murder by indifference. Any rage from that is entirely justifiable, but is likely best
separated from the process of grief; don't be surprised if it takes five to seven weeks to start feeling like yourself in how engaged you are on the is.
What I'd offer as comfort or condolence is to submit you consider your loss is that of but a mortal shell. The who of her will continue to speak to you always, listen with an inner ear that hears those little bristles on the wind and her voice will be in them. Grief is about a period of adjustment on lack of access to the tangible, which I don't see as the meatiest part of what makes us us. That spirited energy of definition and individuality stay with us well beyond the passing.
61. I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend.
It is unconscionable that in such a wealthy country as ours she was denied proper treatment. Colon cancer is very treatable in its earlier stages. Liver cancer not as much, but more could have been done for her.
My thoughts and prayers are with you, her husband and other loved ones.
63. May AzLady rest in peace after touching the lives of others by her words and deeds.
I extend my sympathies to you, your loved ones, and her family. May each one of you find comfort and compassion in the wake of your tremendous loss. I hope in the coming days, the fond memories of AzLady will sustain you. Please take care.
Never imagine for a moment, and please pass to her husband this truth: that if one lives life connected to the living world, one cannot help but be anguished by news such as this!
No man is an island, entire of itself every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friends or of thine own were any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls it tolls for thee.
-- John Donne
"Because I am involved in mankind." Would that more would learn and live it! Peace be unto AzLady and her family.
81. The very same thing happened to a friend of mine and she had insurance
She had liver disease for most of her adult life. Managed it well for years and then she got really sick, they put her in the hospital and found out she had colon cancer. Gave her a week to live and she lasted 6 days.
So sorry for your loss. My friend was 50 as well. I understand how you feel.
She will no longer feel the pain, and I understand she left too soon, with friends and family grieving. Her story, unfortunately, will be played out many more times because so many are without the means, or the the advocates, or the GD subscriber cards. I wish our collective anger would turn things around so we all could find the peace in living now afforded her in death. She has most likely forgiven us our failures to do that as well as those that were so blinded they could no longer care about our friend. She will be missed here, as our journey continues...
Stories like these need to be collected somewhere, maybe a website, that our illustrious leaders cannot run away from or deny the existence of until people like your friend get needed access to the health care that they need to survive. I wish I could do it but I don't have the expertise, but maybe someone who reads this can do it.
97. I am so, so sorry OhioChick. I do remember her and wish I had
known her better. I wish there words that were right for situations like this, but there never are. This story is so sad, so indicative of the society we live in. I feel so sad for her husband too. This should not happen to anyone in this country.
Take care of yourself, your friend sounds like she was a wonderful person. :cry: :hug: :cry:
106. Hi OC, my heart goes out to you, your husband and everyone else who knew and loved her.
I think everyone here could learn a lesson from this. We don't know what's going on behind the scenes when someone is posting or lurking here. Although everyone is anonymous, these aren't just words on a screen we are sharing with an automaton. I see DU as one big family and we are all human beings with feelings at the other end. Even though we don't expose it, some DUers are experiencing tragedies and going through really tough times.
I think I'm rambling now, too, so I'm going to stop here.
I really miss seeing you here, OC. I'll be in touch.... :grouphug:
134. This is why I'm so goddamn mad about the healthcare law.
She was stuck in that never-never land between Medicaid and being able to afford coverage. Those of us there have little hope of treatment when we become ill. I'm very sad for her and her family . . . and for this country.
146. My sincere heartfelt condolences to Azlady's family and friends.
Edited on Mon Nov-29-10 08:39 AM by flyarm
May she rest in peace, pain free, surrounded by angels to care for her.
I hope you as her friend can find comfort knowing she no longer is suffering.
I too in the past 1 1/2 weeks lost two very very dear friends. It is so hard to to say good bye to those who have touched our hearts with love and friendship. My thoughts are with you as well as with Azlady 's family.
She was murdered by the health care system, totally legally because she wasn't part of a privileged class with insurance. AZLady, I'm sorry this happened to you. I hope her husband finds some peace. The rest of y'all, if you didn't fight for single payer before, I suggest you do it now because it'll be far more meaningful than keeping her in your thoughts and prayers.
I'm sorry for her suffering and the horrid amount of people that health insurance agencies kill everyday. My god! we aren't very free are we? you have a community here who are outraged, who want better, who care for the conditions of humanity. Do not be silent. In your own neighborhood, community, city, state, there are good people for you to reach out to and get to love and share yourself with. we are here so briefly. I hug you. I am so sorry.
To lose someone you love is very heartbreaking. DU has lost another soldier. That is why I fight. I fight for those who can no longer fight. Or for those who have given up. Or for those who need time to mourn. Take all the time you need to grieve your loss. Let the family know we are with them in spirit and thought. And don't worry I am not tired yet!!!!!AZLADY enjoy your REST!!! The fight continues!!
I hate to get even a little political at times like this, but bear with me.
I'm in my mid-50s, and I got a colonoscopy about a month ago. Suffice to say, it was timely. As a result, I would endorse doctor recommendations to get this done.
Now for the politics - It cost $5,000 plus. I have insurance, and my portion was minimal, thank goodness. But for those without insurance, or without the ability to pay this even over time, it's, well, it's a killer. This is the country we now live in.
195. Thank you for bringing us word of the tragedy,
even as you confront your own grief.
I do recall posts from her, and will miss her.
DU is a big, dysfunctional family--but not so dysfunctional that the loss of one of us goes unmourned.
I hope, when you have resolved your immediate grief, that you will memorialize her in a useful and giving way by writing the story of her experiences with the health care system and finding a way to get it into public view. People don't respond well to abstractions, but stories like hers belong in the national discussion.
215. God Bless Azlady's Soul & Her Grieving Family
Edited on Mon Nov-29-10 02:34 PM by Dirigo
The DU family has lost one of its own and a pall falls over us as the reality of Azlady's illness and untimely death becomes more and more real to those who knew and loved her. Her story is a tragedy that has been playing out all to frequently across America. No one should be denied medical care for want of health insurance. If this is the best America can do for its own than we are failing miserably as a nation.. Azlady was to young to leave us and had so much more living to do. We are thankful for having had her on DU for the time we did and she will be sorely missed. Death has come like a thief in the night to one of our own and the U.S. healthcare system of Sickness For Profit brazenly steals our national soul.
219. I pay tribute here to a woman I never met, but who was a sister - in spirit - to all of us.
I also offer my most sincere condolences to her husband, to her family, and to OhioChick - who was, obviously, very attached.
We shouldn't have to lose good people this way. Hell, we shouldn't have to lose good people at all, but we do.
It would be fitting that we remember our lost members - all of them - by continuing the fight for justice in America. Justice in our health care system, our legal system, our political system, and our economic system.
I send my sympathies to you and her husband and their family.... I hope the pain will lessen with each good memory of this lovely lady.
The only other thing I can say is SHAME ON YOU, AMERICA....
and that I am glad that I left you 41 years ago. and that my son and husband could get any kind of treatment for their cancers right away , no hassles and no medical bills. Canada, I stand on guard for thee...Canada cares for all its citizens, rich or poor, with a job or without a job.
252. My warmest condolences for your loss OhioChick
Thank you for sharing your love of this wonderful lady. We who have posted for many years know the pain of losing a friend one knows in forums. She may have been money poor, but she had the wealth that are friends. which you prove by your sharing this with everyone here.
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