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bigtree Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-25-10 02:18 PM
Original message
A Sentimental Journey
Edited on Thu Nov-25-10 02:33 PM by bigtree
I'm not going to try and romanticize flying home to see the relatives right now. Back before the TSA was providing the foreplay for the mile-high club, there were plenty of memorable holiday moments traveling the friendly skies. I'll leave those lie for now, though. I'm staying home this Thanksgiving and our two boys will be coming by from down the road to eat a decent meal and take another one back home with them. It's nice to not have to gussy-up and head out to the in-laws. I've got football on and the Lions are actually leading the Patriots. Who can ask for anything more?

I haven't always shunned traveling to see relatives on the holidays, though. Nowadays there's just us 'kids' to gather together, since all of the old ones are gone. There's also a sibling each on both sides of our family missing from the table, as well, so getting together for the holidays these days is less ordered and optional. But there was a time when traveling to see the in-laws for the holidays was a pretty big deal.

Bad blood between my parents and their brothers and sisters always prevented my family from traveling with more than one of them when they journeyed back to their hometowns. Mom would usually take my only sister and I, by train, to Charleston, WVa. to see our grandfather, and Dad would drive us to Reading, Pa. to visit his family.

Union Station in D.C. was my mom's territory. We'd usually arrive on the run, with the baggage porter following behind with our luggage. We'd hit the train platform with the steam blasting across our path and get a hand up onto the train from the most polite men I've ever encountered (sometimes just as the train was starting to pull out of the station). We pull the sliding door between the train open and settle back into the mohair-covered seats with the paper-covered headrests and watch out the window as the city shrank out of sight.

The long journey always led me to memorize every contour of the yellowing plastic controls on the handle of the seats, and to balance the weight of the molded metal footrests that I raised and lowered incessantly (to my mother's practiced consternation). As I type this, I'm looking at one of the little hand games that she'd pull out of her purse to keep us occupied that she saved over the years. It's one of those little plastic board puzzles with sliding letters that you had to unscramble with the benefit of only one open space. I've also got one with the Adams Family on it, and there were ones with ball-bearings and holes like a miniature pinball machine.

In-between fiddling and snacking on the saltines and mints she'd pocketed from the many restaurants we'd frequented, I'd steal a little freedom from my schoolteacher mom and make a couple of adventurous trips through the doors separating the trains to the restroom. It was a rather chaotic arrangement where the trains were coupled in those days, often with little more than a chain or bar keeping you from falling out the sides between the cars. Later, there would be a more elaborate barrier, but the effect was still the same rush of danger as you could see the tracks whizzing by underneath the shifting metal plates on the floor. I can remember sticking my little head outside of one of the windows to recklessly gauge the violent wind as the train sped along.

When we'd arrive at the station in Charleston, Granddad would be waiting with his huge Oldsmobile that smelled like the cigars, pipes, and Pall Malls he smoked constantly. The rest of the trip was a memorable string of visits to relatives, capped off by an extraordinary meal at my cousin Gussy's who would cook greens in ham fat until they literally melted in your mouth. She had two trees in her front yard that were painted white halfway up the trunk and tiny red bugs crawled up and down. There was an active railroad track a few feet from her back door where we'd put pennies on the rail for the passing trains to flatten. Life was as ancient and slow in Charleston; as slow as the snails we poured salt on; as deliberate as my Uncle Moore who would be watching the game with an unbreakable concentration . . . except for that one day when I came down hard on the ground from one of the trees out front with a branch in my hand and he thought I might be dead.

Travel on the holidays with Dad was a decidedly less formal affair. There weren't any of the social rules and the prim and proper trappings that Mom insisted on maintaining while in her company. The three of us would pile into one of his Impalas (Caprices) and hit the turnpike. There would be rest stops and Stuckeys along the way with string licorice, frosted funnel cakes, and giant lollipops to make our little exodus more enjoyable.

We'd sing every song we knew on the AM dial out loud, the three of us. Roger Miller would come on dozen or more times and we'd belt out every line of 'King of the Road'. I think it was Doris Day who would come on with 'You Are My Sunshine', and Sinatra would sing 'Sentimental Journey' as we sang along with the radio. We were the best of friends in that car, away from the strict eye and tongue of my well-meaning mother.

Even my Dad would abandon his suits for the trip (he'd change out of his work suit and tie everyday and put on another to go shopping) and opt for his Army fatigues and sweatshirt. He was the only one of 9 kids to make it out of that town, so the buttoned-down bureaucrat look just wouldn't cut it in the town he said was famous for 'pretzels, prostitutes, and beer' . . . We'd eat at Grandma's house and Granddad would even be welcomed back for dinner.

Grandma was a striking Indian woman with long blond-white hair and a voice like angels purring, but she was a powerful woman who raised her nine children on Relief after Granddad had fled with them to Reading from Black Mountain, N.C., after he had some trouble with the sheriff down there. He kept the kids out of school until the state would agree to provide clothes for them and about half of them ended up integrating the Quaker school there. Later in life, Granddad could be found every day outside of the factory gates at noon and at quitting time watching the women go by.

All of their kids but two would show up (one who died young from a stabbing, the other died young due to another misfortune of their rough life). One Uncle had to sneak in after dark as the sheriff would always lay in wait to try and arrest him (especially at the funerals) for neglecting the several children he had here and there around town. We'd eat a magnificent meal cooked in the tiny kitchen at the back of the house in iron skillets and served on ancient porcelain dinnerware. Granddad, dressed in his purple suit, yellow shirt, and green shoes, would say grace . . .

I own all of these holiday memories from my childhood now, as all of the members of the immediate family I grew up with have passed on. I can only remember the good and the bad times with equal nostalgia. I am the only one left who can recall the sights, smells, and flavor of that past. It's all become part of a wonderful stew of memories to measure my own family's holiday experiences against. Holiday travel; always a sentimental journey . . .

Gonna take a sentimental journey
Gonna set my heart at ease
Gonna make a sentimental journey
To renew old memories

Got my bag, I got my reservation
Spent each dime I could afford
Like a child in wild anticipation
Long to hear that: "All aboard!"

Seven, that's the time we leave at - seven
I'll be waiting up for heaven
Counting every mile of railroad track - that takes me back

Never thought my heart could be so yearning
Why did I decide to roam
Gotta take this sentimental journey
Sentimental journey home

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babylonsister Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-25-10 02:30 PM
Response to Original message
1. You write so beautifully, bigtree. Thanks for sharing your
childhood memories with us!
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bigtree Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-25-10 03:03 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. aww, thank you so much, babylonsister
. . . glad to share them with you.

Hope you and yours have an enjoyable holiday!
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xxqqqzme Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-25-10 04:04 PM
Response to Original message
3. Thank you for writing this.
I am the oldest grandchild on both sides of the family, so I am the keeper of memories and stories. I'm the only one who knew all my great-grandmother's sisters - they are long lived on that side. Your story puts me to mind I should start writing it all down. Thank you.

Have a great Thanksgiving.
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bigtree Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-25-10 05:44 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. you're very welcome, xxqqqzme
. . . keeper of memories.

Happy Thanksgiving, back at you and yours!
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dgibby Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-25-10 07:10 PM
Response to Reply #3
6. At 65, I'm the youngest of the" old" people on my dad's side.
I'm trying to create a family tree for my nieces and nephews, but want to include memories/family stories/lore in addition to the genealogy. I want them to "know" their ancestors.

It isn't easy at this point, and I would give almost anything to be able to reach back in time and talk with those who have gone before me. My last remaining sibling is 75, and I have 2 cousins who are in their 80's. When we're gone, there will be no one left who is the "keeper of the memories" as you so eloquently put it, and my dad's side of the family will disappear down the memory hole.

As for my mother's side, I was very fortunate to have an older cousin who wrote all about our family. In addition, I have many letters written by my great grandparents to each other during the Civil War, and my mother wrote about her life,growing up on a farm in WV during the depression.

Please take the time to write down your family memories. I guarantee you someone in a future generation will thank you for it. There is no greater gift you can give someone than a connection to their own history.
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dgibby Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-25-10 06:52 PM
Response to Original message
5. Thanks for the memories.
I suspect you probably took the George Washington from Union Station to Charleston. If so, you went through my home town (Clifton Forge, Va).

I took that train often when I was in nursing school at the C&O Hospital in Clifton. Since I was considered a railroad employee, I was able to ride on a pass. The hospital was too small to support a psychiatric nursing rotation, so we were "farmed out" to Spring Grove State Hospital in Catonsville, Md, for a 3mo. psych rotation.

Your description of the train trip sure does bring back great memories. I loved the clickety clack of the wheels on the rails, the gentle swaying of the coaches, and the great treatment my classmates and I received from all the train crews. The conductors and porters were the best, and always saw to it that we were well cared for. We were treated like "family".

Having grown up in a railroad town, I miss the trains(especially the sound of the steam engine whistles), and the slower pace of life that went along with train travel.
When Joe Biden talks about taking the train, I know exactly what he means. Thanks again for sharing.
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bigtree Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-25-10 08:53 PM
Response to Reply #5
7. so much my pleasure, dgibby
You're very welcome.

I took a train from Union station to Mass. in the late 80's. Much of the experience was the same. We were indeed treated like family.

Best regards to you and yours for the holiday! Happy Thanksgiving.
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Little Star Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-25-10 09:10 PM
Response to Original message
8. Thanks for telling this story it was a beautiful, warm read. Today..
I have read three of the most wonderful essays on DU, H2O Man, Will Pitt and now yours. They were all a nice addition to this thanksgiving day. Hope I didn't miss others.
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bigtree Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-25-10 10:16 PM
Response to Reply #8
9. thanks so much for reading, Little Star
. . . and for your kind words. Best regards to you and yours.
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Lugnut Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-26-10 01:20 AM
Response to Original message
10. Thank you for sharing your journey.
So much of what you've written reminds me of my own childhood.
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Raine Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-26-10 04:56 AM
Response to Original message
11. THANKS for sharing your past
it takes me back too to those days when my family was extended and we had the holidays to share. It makes me kinda sad but its also nice to remember those happy times. :hi:
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sabrina 1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-26-10 05:22 AM
Response to Original message
12. Beautifully written, bigtree.
You are very fortunate to have so many wonderful, warm memories of your family. Bitter-sweet though they are now.

I know the song you included at the end, but never really knew the words before. For some reason they brought tears. Wish I could go home again ~ Happy Thanksgiving to you.
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Dirigo Donating Member (157 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-26-10 01:03 PM
Response to Reply #12
13. God Bless Big Tree And Wish We Had A Forest Of Big Trees
Thank you for your journal Big Tree. You are a gifted writer and I greatly enjoy your honesty and deprecating humor. You have done extraordinarily well rising up from such a humble hardscrabble life. Please tell us more, were you a teacher? A college professor? How did you acquire such a talent?
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