I have a Managerial Econ final tomorrow, another final on Thursday, and a hour long presentation and yet another exam on Friday.
I have my 10 year high school reunion Saturday, which means bunking at Dad's for the weekend (ugh!).
On top of all that, I keep seeing the signs of absolute systemic collapse of our economy in the very near future. The stimulus dollars are really all that's been preventing a total collapse, and what with the cries of "Ve Must Have Ze Fiscal Austerity!" from the investing class, it's clear that the market is going to have to create jobs, which it won't, because Corporate America loves the current situation in which workers are practically serfs of their own volition.
Who is going to quit a job, even if they're underpaid and mistreated, when jobs are so damn hard to come by?
Oh, and I'm still deaf. Which actually makes trying to calculate complex mathematical equations easier, though it still fucking sucks.
Anyway, I feel like I'm going fucking nuts from all of the stress. And irony of ironies, my presentation on Friday is on Stress Management.
Anyone else have an enormous amount of stress in their life? Are you worried about your job, keeping your home, your health?
Let it out. This is the only thing that I could think of to blow off some steam. Maybe it would help you to unburden yourself too, hypothetical DUer.
You are going through so much. I also think something reallly bad is around the corner economically and I will lose what little security I have. Yes, everyone is stressed, sad, confused and hopeless. I really don't know how to stabilize things and chill the hell out.
I have until Friday to come up with $600 for rent. I had a job interview today, which was fine, but I didn't know until I got there that I would be sharing my interview with another candidate for the job. I felt like a contestant in the interview portion of the Miss America Pageant trying to answer the same question, using a similar answer, but have it be a more attractive/ viable. I've been averaging about 3 hours a sleep per night. I'm now on food stamps for the first time in my life. I've been unemployed for a month and a half, I send out at least 3 resumes a day, but NOTHING is working out. I'm even applying for waitressing and supermarket checkers, but still I hear nothing back. I have to ask my parents for yet another loan to get through the month, and I know they don't have it. I want to get back to school and finish my degree, but I can't afford anything right now. I vacillate between frustration, anxiety, and apathy on an hourly basis. I don't know what I'm going to do.
I was in exactly your situation about a year ago. No money for rent, having to subject myself to the indignity of getting public assistance, applying for six or seven jobs a day and just *praying* that one would result in an interview.
"I want to get back to school and finish my degree, but I can't afford anything right now."
If you're over 24, Federal Student Loans will serve you well. That's the only reason I was able to go back and get my MBA.
I am still currently a student. I had to take some time away from school, and I'm trying to get back, but I have to pay off an emergency loan that I took out before they will let me back. It's a long story, I had to leave a bad domestic situation, but I'm better now and want to get back to school - I just have to get the funds together to do it.
Edited on Tue Aug-03-10 09:40 PM by Leftist Agitator
After an off-and-on decade in Academia, I know more about the arcane regulations governing Federal Financial Aid than most Financial Aid University staff.
My Financial Aid department learned about that first hand when they tried to deny me loans because of prior transgressions.
And on edit: Transgressions such as not maintaining University standards for satisfactory completion of attempted hours, which at the graduate level they take pretty seriously. I lost my eligibility for student loans and successfully lobbied to have it reinstated. I would be glad to help you do the same if possible.
I have worked in financial aid for over three years now. I know how awful the whole process can be because I am also a student (done with my masters in December). But, there are good ones out there too! My last job working for a state university was the worst job I have ever had. The people I worked with were inept at best. They did not care about their students because they had too many to deal with. I now work for a private university and the quality of service is so much better. I realize some of you may groan and say that private means expensive and unaffordable, but that is not necessarily true. If any of you have any financial aid questions, I would be happy to answer them. Knowing that I can help people is the one thing that keeps me at my job (because trust me, otherwise, it sucks because we have to put up with so many regulations). :)
I remarried about four years ago. Because of the economy my new wife and I have had to support her kids to the tune of around $50K. They made some poor decisions to include having babies....having to get married. Another offspring was dealing drugs making all kinds of money. He quit. Unfortunately, he spent a lot of money during those years and became heavily in debt. Yep...we bailed him out as well. We are now broke and the chances are good that our home will be auctioned off on the 18th of this month if our loan mod fails. I'm 57 years old and I can't find a job. Even if I could, I have serious back issues (for years) and I'm finally having major back surgery in about two weeks. My participation on this board has been frequent and I'm considering backing off and taking a break from DU. The posts here are too depressing and all it does is make me angry. I'm disappointed in the current administration and I'm beginning to feel that we have reached a point of no return.
My life sucks now and all I can do is try and live day-to-day. I have never been late paying bills for 30 years. But since remarrying, I have faced nothing but debt. My credit score went from 760 down to "who knows" because I refuse to look at it. If the mod does not go through, we will be forced to move and we have no idea where. I refuse to move into any home that belongs to my wife's kids (even though we saved them from losing theirs many times).
I feel resentful towards my step-kids, yet I care for them. The fact that they drained us dry is a point of contention with my wife and I have to tread lightly.
The irony is that we saved family members from going down hard and now we are the one's who are suffering. I'm trying to keep my humor, but it gets harder everyday.
I remind myself that there are many others who are in far worse shape. I try and keep my perspective.
"I feel resentful towards my step-kids, yet I care for them."
If I were in your situation, I would confront them and gently remind them of my past generosity.
"I remind myself that there are many others who are in far worse shape. I try and keep my perspective."
There are, but that doesn't diminish the seriousness of your plight.
That ole canard of "Think how much worse off you could be!" is one of the favorite tools of the economic elite. It helps mask how shitty they have made things for all of we non-wealthy "little people".
One of the most stressful times in my life was when I was working long hours on the job and taking an overstuffed briefcase home. I was stressed to the max, with no life outside of work.
I was living in Virginia, and somehow was able to swing a weekend getaway at a cabin in the Blue Ridge Mountains (Shenandoah National Park). It was only two days, but hiking through the forest to waterfalls, seeing the abundant wildlife, having the White Tail Deer visit the cabin, left me feeling resuscitated and rejuvenated, my spirit restored.
After the weekend I still had the crazy workload and all the same stress and imbalance. But I was different, and no longer stressed-out. My brief outing turned out to be the best safety valve for me. After that, I made a point of finding getaway time, even if only for an afternoon, and it always made a huge difference in my stress level. It didn't change my workload, but it did change me and my ability to cope with my situation.
"...having the White Tail Deer visit the cabin, left me feeling resuscitated and rejuvenated, my spirit restored. After the weekend I still had the crazy workload and all the same stress and imbalance. But I was different, and no longer stressed-out."
44. They had N -O - T - H - I - N - G when I came into my last position, except some crappy brochures
They weren't even collecting client emails!!!!! I created practically everything they have and was on my way toward upgrading their database, built a new one for phone calls, created regional media lists and press releases, letters, and forms, a development process control workbook all while doing all of the regular administrative and support stuff too and increasing everything that we were doing. I worked my f-in ass off, never took breaks, stayed in for lunch . . . but most of all I believed they were who they said they were, that I mattered to them and that I had value.
I feel like a fool; you'd think I'd have learned after the two previous layoffs. I get wrapped up in the work and forget. I'm an idiot.
As too often happens, they didn't realize the valuable asset they had in you. I don't know how things get so out of whack, but it often seems to happen that a business makes irrational personnel decisions that actually are counterproductive for their objectives and goals.
It's not you who f'd up--it's them.
I hope things work out for you. It sounds like you have a good portfolio to offer--one that a smart hiring exec would jump at. It's very tough out there now, but I wish you the best of luck in convincing them that you have something to offer.
I desperately need to figure out where to come up with $220 to pay my car payment, and my husband has to have his eye lasered in order to see properly. Where the hell we're going to come up with the money for that is beyond my comprehension. Luckily, we get discounts because he doesn't have insurance (because he's been unemployed and underemployed for months). I don't get paid in the summer. We saved. It's gone.
The semester starts in less than three weeks, my dissertation chapter is due in 2 weeks, I have an article due Sept. 1 and a conference paper to translate into Spanish.
I'm so stressed out all I can do is ride my bike to kill the stress, and then sleep and ignore my problems. How frustrating is that? Fuck.
I just lost a job that I absolutely loved and was very good at.
Third layoff in 10 years.
Early Social Security isn't due for 6 more months and IT'S LESS THAN $1K A MONTH!!!
Can't get my deceased husband's Social Security for 4 more years.
I'm living out of my IRAs and getting taxed.
It's REAL hard to live in Cupcake Land around a bunch of oh so very self righteous and comfortable members of "The Great Generation" with churches on EVERY corner the measure of all things cupcake, 'cause I just don't measure up.
At least I don't have hardly any debt but the mortgage and it's pretty modest, but . . .
Yeah, I'm a little stressed, but mostly just disappointed as hell in what I thought was my country.
Edited on Tue Aug-03-10 10:03 PM by cilla4progress
I am getting laid off for the 2nd time in 6 mos! Have to reapply for unemployment benefits next week. Fun. Your comment about serfs really applies. My new / temporary employer really screwed me over -- took advantage of me (used MY personal cell for her business - tried to use my inexpensive laptop but I resisted; stuck me out in an 80 degree garage to work...true sweatshop; I learned that part-time salaried = less than minimum wage earnings when averaged over hours worked!) It's really true about rich capitalists being cheap muthas. I guess it was a learning experience, anyway.
I see the distress and dysfunction all around me too. It's kind of reached the tipping point for me, in my view. I'm scaling back; instead of trying to keep up, maybe I'm giving up a little! But trying to get down to basics. I'm sure I won't work again - maybe ever (56 yo), and certainly not in my professional field, fulltime. But we still have our daughter's college fund, and mortgage is manageable. Not a lot of debt. I guess we'll have to live on husband's decent income (goddess willing he keeps HIS job and my marriage doesn't dissolve) and my unemployment benefits...until they run out! Probably have to give up the more expensive hobbies though.
Oh...and so long as my health doesn't go south (after layoff now only have catastrophic individual policy $2500 deductible).
23. There is one simple solution to this economic disaster .... Easy ...
Boost wages at the expense of profits .....
What is absent from the economy is GOOD wages .... that is the REAL stimulus we need ....
No one would ask the government to intervene if the greedy rich would just cough up a touch more green to each worker .... But GSM forbid that the fuckers cannot bear to part with anymore exorbitant profits, even if it means a deep crash ....
What I dont get is: WHY the rich would think that global economic collapse is a good idea ....
Why would they allow it ? .... It kills them too, at least the "less-than-a-billionaire-more-than-a-millionaire" group that would watch their entrepreneurial efforts shrivel and die ...
Only extreme wealth weathers near total collapse ... Why would the "less-than-a-billionaire-more-than-a-millionaire"s allow themselves to be sacrificed at the altar of an extreme conservative economic policy that only benefits the extremely wealthy ?
Damn ... is it time to get all Survivalistic again ? ....
Another human social spasm .... on deck ....
Pay us some fucking money, and you'll get your fucking profits .... Greedy Fucks ....
25. Right now I'm having a short vacation from externally caused stress...
although I have internal stress all the time (anxiety disorders).
anyway, last month seemed like a constant barrage....
one of the dogs got a UTI which required treatment (and she had some small "accidents" on our new living room carpet because of it)
Then about a week or two later she injured her paw pretty badly...bled all over the new carpet...more money to the vet, couldn't keep the bandage on, it got infected, blah blah blah. We finally got it straightened out, about $400 later.
That same day my son tells me that his Rheumatoid Arthritis is getting worse, and within the next few years he will have to have the bones in his left arm and hand fused because they are collapsing on themselves. He's only 40, is married and has two young daughters. Luckily, his wife has a good job also, but it's not enough to support them all. He's on meds, but the meds can cause some pretty scary things.
Again on that same day we found out that my youngest stepdaughter suffered a miscarriage at about 11 weeks gestation. Of course, she and her hubby were devastated, and we were heartbroken for them.
A week later my mom and her man friend came up from Florida to visit, stayed overnight. That in itself was stressful.
And then we find out that my younger brother, who is 40 and nearly died three times this past year because of alcoholic liver damage is likely drinking again after being sober and doing so well for two months.
July totally sucked, and I'm hoping for some quiet time for a while.
PS...I can empathize with everyone else going through stressful times. :(
even the things that are supposed to de-stress you/me, like vacation, just ADD to the stress!
I'm so sorry for what is going on in your life. It does seem to be an unusually heavy burden. I hope you have "somewhere you can go," either physically, mentally, or spiritually, that helps. I'll keep you in my thoughts...
38. We are all suffering from a really bad depression in the...
economy which appears to be getting worse, at least from the workers perspective. Downsized 2 years ago, age 75, will probably never work again and too partially disabled to take on lawn care or any of the other sometimes available small jobs.
Depending on son(30) who has his diploma and is living at home--working as a barrista half time(good tips). He has a few outside jobs including being the conductor/director of our local symphony orchestra(and other musical gigs). But, the bills aren't getting paid and house taxes may end up costing us a paid for home(small).
Hanging in there like many of you, but see no light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. Dunno. Bad way to end a long productive working life.
If you are still young, you have a chance to fight through this. For those in their late 40s/early 50s, the outlook sucks.
I left work early - because I was seconds away from yelling at people which is NOT a good strategy for a effective manager.
I bend over backwards to try and accommodate people, even at the very last moment, but some don't seem to be willing to work with me. I manage techs and engineers in a "fix" agency for a BIG provider. We handle incoming calls and if you are not logged into THE FUCKING PHONES we can't get those calls. I was seconds away from asking "WHO DO I HAVE TO BLOW TO GET YOU ASSHOLES TO LOG INTO YOUR FUCKING PHONES!!!" Instead, I came home and had a strong cocktail and smoked a bowl and now I feel better... Tomorrow? More of the same.
I feel like shit for about two weeks now, can't sleep - sleep all the time - scared to death I'm going to lose my job after 25 years and at 55+ it's not like there's a whole wide world out there waiting for me and my particular talents.
Discovering that you are not alone is extremely important, because it's so easy for any of us to become so isolated that we think we are the only one feeling this way. I think even Leftist Agitator may be surprised by what he started here.
There is a difference between feeling stressed-out and actual clinical depression, but in either case having a support system is critical, whether it's a circle of friends you can REALLY talk to or a therapy group.
It's interesting that these days, with the internets, a forum like this can even serve as part of our support system. Even someone who is so depressed that it's difficult to even walk out the front door to interact with others can find some degree of support without ever leaving home. That may not be ideal, but it's a positive development nonetheless.
Sending good vibes, Love & Peace to all my fellow DUers, pinboy3niner
55. Stress can lead to clinical depression. I have suffered from depression officially since I was 20.
I am 34 now and even with meds I still deal with it everyday. I also have type 1 diabetes. I would say I am extremely lucky to not have financial issues right now. I have stayed at home with my kids for the last few years while my husband worked and I went back to school to be a preschool teacher. Just about to do my student teaching in the fall. However, the daily battle of keeping my health and blood sugar in control does lead to depressive episodes and suffering from depression in general has not helped. It is always good to have a support system and DU is that for a lot of us.
61. I'm normally reluctant to disclose personal info on the internet
But I guess I should speak up in solidarity with you.
I've experienced severe depression--to the point that it's a miracle I'm still here. For me, it was related to PTSD, having served in the Army Infantry in Vietnam. I suppressed that experience for a lot of years, thinking I was unaffected by it--until the day it all came back and I discovered how profoundly I was affected by it.
Once, visiting the psychologist at a VA Vet Center during Desert Shield, when I was in really bad shape, crying in his office, I said, "Doc, I've already processed this Vietnam shit--how many times do I have to process it again?" The psychologist--one of the best I've ever met--said, "As many times as it takes."
Depression isn't always associated with traumatic experience, as you well know. But you know the misery that it is, whatever its origin. I've gone through extreme anxiety and extreme isolation--things I wouldn't wish on anyone. For me, that's in the past, but others are struggling with those things every day.
As I observed, finding suport on the internets isn't ideal. It's much better to have the clinical resources of a psychiatrist and a psychologist for someone who is clinically depressed. But ANY system that offers support is a godsend and often a lifeline to those who are seriously hurting.
And here on DU, whatever disagreements we may have, I've never seen our members fail to respond to a DUer in need. We have a lot of good, compassionate, empathetic people here. That's one reason I'm proud to be a member of DU.
Among VN vets, "Hang in there" is understood as encouragement to overcome the symptoms of PTSD in our lives. But I've met victims of rape and childhood trauma and natural disaster who also suffer the effects of PTSD.
"Hang in there" is the best I can offer you on the internets--but please know that it is heartfelt, from one who's been there.
My Dad never had to go to Vietnam but one of his friends did go and had very similar experiences with PTSD.
I can pretty much trace my depression back to when I was in my early teens and was molested by a family friend. I really turned it inward and blamed myself and then my self esteem was really shattered.
When I went away to college, it got worse. I think it was the separation from familiar surroundings and my parents that really did it. I was always a shy kid to begin with and I was really shy at college. I just ended up very isolated, stopped eating much and sleeping well and stopped going to classes.
One day I just had a real breakdown and it scared my aunt. I just couldn't stop crying and shaking. My parents were on vacation so she didn't know what to do. She took me to a psychiatric facility and I ended up staying there a week. There were much much more troubled people then me, people that were literally seeing things and people that had to be restrained. I was 20 years old and officially diagnosed with depression. I was told that I lack serotonin in my brain and that the traumatic experience in my childhood really triggered the depression.
I have been on different meds for years. Every time I attempted to get off them, the crying would start and I would have suicidal thoughts. I guess I am pretty much stuck on the meds. Things are easier now with my husband and two daughters who are 5 and 6. I have a lot to live for. I was diagnosed as a type 1 diabetic at 29 after I had my second daughter but so far I have been able to handle it, though I do get down when my blood sugar is too high or too low. It will always be there but I think I have learned to deal with it a lot better now. And even talking to others on the internet helps. And if I can help someone else with my story, that is a good thing too.
63. You've been a great friend to the troops and to veterans
It has been a long time since I served, but we VN vets vowed that, "Never again would one generation of veterans abandon another."
Vietnam Veterans of America has continued to be an advocate for troops serving today, and for those veterans who have left the service.
I've followed your posts, and I know you've been a big supporter of the troops and vets. I know also that war and service has affected you and your family. I'm sure you know by now that we are with you and we wish the best for you and your son.
He retired from the post office in December after putting in 41+ years. He was put back on the graveyard shift. He was so worn out, he just couldn't take it any more.
He had a heart attack in May. Luckily, he was at the hospital when it happened. (He had been there 6 hours, and they couldn't find out what was wrong with him. Guess it must have been a "pre-heart attack", because all the tests, except the last one, showed him not to be having one.)
Unluckily, his wife's insurance is not nearly as good as what he had at the post office. The bills are mounting up.
Too sick for surgery, he was sent home. He had a quadruple bypass 3 weeks later. Many years ago, he experienced a severe case of sunburn from his knees down to the ankle. Lots of scar tissue, very little normal skin there now. The hospital was advised of this. Not sure what kind of covering is put on a patient after heart surgery, but whatever it was ripped both legs open when it was removed.
He was released from the hospital a few days later, both legs heavily bandaged, attached to a catheter because his bladder was not emptying on its own, and with his heart pumping at only 50% capacity.
I would insert a Cheney rant here, but it wouldn't do any good.
Meanwhile, his son, who has been unemployed for 18 months, is going through an extremely nasty divorce. Five grandchildren are involved, and they are trying to be in their lives as much as possible. This is one of the reasons for their financial situation.
In the last 2 months, both of their clunkers have quit. They have been driving a borrowed car, whose owner wants it back. They are looking for a used car/van that can accommodate the grandkids when they have sports events, but can only come up with a couple thousand bucks.
My husband has offered to buy them something to get them around, but they have refused. They don't want to owe anyone, yet they are talking about a buy here/pay here purchase.
It sickens me that people who have held steady jobs for over 4 decades (his wife has too) are now having to worry about being able to afford a car.
Sorry this was so long, but honestly; I needed to vent.
it's unacceptable. I look around my little town and everyone looks like they are living in a third world country (I live in a rural area of a northern state. It's conservative here, economy's not so good. Job market is terrible. There is a small wealthy upper class of doctors, and some engineers - public power folks make alot of money here...don't ask me why.) But their eyes are vacant, they use crappy grammar, their clothes are ragged. So many families are besieged with substance abuse issues, and of course divorce. College is absolutely unattainable for most. Those that can - upper class. The middle class is disappearing.
Shame. I'm so sorry for your brother's situation. Please accept my regards for him and his family. Thank you for sharing with us.
64. I feel like I'm finally surfacing after a month in the Underworld
I posted about the death by SIDS of my 6 month old granddaughter in answer to a similar thread a few weeks ago -- people were very kind in their replies. I had support in "real life" as well, and I allowed myself the space to grieve. Yesterday I felt like I was surfacing again.
You've suffered a deep loss, too, LA. I remember your post about waking up deaf quite clearly. A part of your old self "died" and you stepped through a door into another room, as it were. Very, very stressful.
I'm glad you decided to start going to your classes after all. You'll do very well. I just know it.
And let us know how your high school reunion goes -- you're meeting yet another challenge head on, and I hope you have a really good time.
only to find a note from my landlady that I have to move within 3 months. She's going to sell her house because she needs to change her circumstances in life, whatever that means. . . she hasn't really said.
We've been friends/roommates since 1989 and in this house since 1990.
What a feeling to come home and discover that that place isn't your home but rather the place you're staying while you look for a home. I'm still in shock, I think. It just came out of the blue and hit me like a sledgehammer.
So, I have years of accumulated posessions and terrible credit. It's going to be hard to find a place.
Minor, I realize, compared to the stresses I've seen on this thread.
Work related stresses are getting to me as well. They're starting to let go people who have been there long enough to have earned some raises and actually make enough money to live on... not be comfy or wealthy, mind you, but enough to pay the bills each month. I've been there almost 10 years so I imagine I'll be on the chopping block sooner or later.
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