Jesus' General: Jesus ain't no cross-dressing hippy!

[meegbear]

Pastor Steven L Anderson mans up for Jesus:

Many people today have the idea that Jesus Christ while he was on this earth had long hair and wore clothing that looked like a dress. The reason for this is that many people derive what they believe from artwork or the opinions of so-called “theologians” and “scholars” instead of getting their information directly from the Bible itself.

...it is a shame and dishonor to Christ for a man to have long hair. There is no place in the Bible that even insinuates that Jesus had long hair. Sodomite homosexuals such as Michelangelo painted Jesus to look effeminate and to have long hair in order to make him fit their own queer image.

Pastor Anderson continues:

These same type of paintings have also given people the idea that “Jesus did not wear pants.” Some have even made utterly ridiculous and bizarre statements such as, “pants had not been invented yet,” or “they didn’t have pants back then.” According to these “scholars,” the men of the past who built the pyramids and Stonehenge just hadn’t thought of pants yet!

What I believe is based upon the Bible, not “historical evidence,” but the historical record also proves that men in the ancient Middle East wore pants. For example, at the famous battle of Thermopylae (480BC), every historian reports that the Persian (Iranian) soldiers were wearing pants down to their ankles, while the homosexual, perverted Spartans were wearing short skirts or even less!

I'd rather think our Spartan forefathers wore a warrior's kilt. There's nothing wrong with that, and dammit, I don't give a damn what Sgt Cletus says, there's nothing wrong with a general wearing a little flowered mini-kilt around his compound either. It provides the ol' grenades with a little ventilation on a hot day. Cletus is a damned liar, anyway. Don't believe a word he says. And damn it, it was Crisco and a watermelon, no goddamn cantaloupes were involved. Never watch "Red Dawn" and "24" back to back. And I was drunk, anyway, dammit!

Uhhhh, OK, uhhhh, anyway, I think Pastor Anderson goes out on a limb a little bit here:

Obviously John was not referring to a tattoo he was seeing on Jesus’ naked thigh since Jesus was clothed from head to foot according to Revelation 1:13. He had his name written upon the clothing on his thigh, just as he had his name written upon his coat. When wearing a dress or a “tunic” the thigh is not delineated. Clothing that is worn on each “thigh” is referred to as a pair of pants. Therefore it is apparent that Jesus was wearing pants as he rode in on a white horse to defeat the Antichrist. Apparently “scholars” would have us believe that Jesus was riding to battle on a horse in a dress.

Although I agree that Jesus couldn't have worn a long dress or a gown in John's revelation--he'd have to have ridden sidesaddle, and you can't fight the Antichrist while looking like Dale Evans--our Savior could have been wearing a warriorly mini-kilt. That'd expose His immaculate thigh.

And maybe His name wasn't actually tattooed there. Once, when Cletus was passed out, we took a sharpie and wrote "very, very, tiny Cletus" on his thigh and then drew an arrow pointing up to his little soldier. Maybe, the apostles did the same to Jesus after one of those big water to wine parties. Who knows, they might have even been watching a live version of something like "Red Dawn" or "24."

http://patriotboy.blogspot.com/2010/07/jesus-aint-no-dress-wearing-hippy.html

[Submariner]

1. But he did ride sidesaddle

Proof from the creationistas.

[malaise]

4. Is that Fred or

Wilma? :evilgrin:

[Johonny]

10. my favorite post of day !!!!

:)

[Soylent Brice]

14. *cough*

:spray:

[midnight]

2. Remember, that literacy is fine, but just because someone

memorizes the bible does not make them closer to God than those who don't memorize the bible. Even the devil can quote the bible.


"Pastor Anderson started Faithful Word Baptist Church on December 25, 2005. He holds no college degree but has well over 100 chapters of the Bible memorized word-for-word, including approximately half of the New Testament. Today, most Baptist churches are started by Bible colleges. However, the Bible makes it clear that the church is the pillar and ground of the truth, not a school. Faithful Word Baptist Church is a totally independent Baptist church, and Pastor Anderson was sent out by a totally independent Baptist church to start it the old-fashioned way by knocking doors and winning souls to Christ.

God has blessed Faithful Word Baptist Church tremendously. Thousands have been saved, many have been baptized, and many more have learned to win souls both door-to-door and in their day-to-day lives"

Isn't' this the man who prayers for other people to become inflicted with disease and die?

[formercia]

8. He memorizes parts of the Bible that are relevant to his argument

anything that conflicts, doesn't exist.

Just imagine if someone in the future turned the Left Behind series into a religious document. Pretty scary.

[av8rdave]

3. Google Steven L. Anderson and check out some of his other sermons

He is batshit crazy.

[Lint Head]

5. Sounds like he wants to crucify the counter culture.

[Deep13]

6. Of course not. He was more like John Brown.

:evilgrin:

[GTurck]

7. Having actually read...

the Bible as part of preparation to teach it to Catholic kids and having passed Diocesan requirements on my understanding I do not remember reading about Thermopylae therein. I have read it in Herodotus and Thucydides but not in the Bible. Do you think Rev. Anderson can find it for me so that I can complete my education on the book?
As for Jesus in a dress I don't think today's Bedouins would like their desert appropriate attire labeled a dress. For long hair look at male Hasidic Jews and their hair. Fundamental and disconnected groups are the most conservative polity and they often don't change for centuries whatever it is that marks them out from the general population. That being said look for more unshaved women with buns at the top of their heads in homemade long dresses and men with beards.

[MisterP]

9. interestingly, the literature on US fundamentalists is that they're not unchanged, but that they're

so shallow that they're constantly adapting to conservative policy, creating febrile, untethered wrath that can attach itself to abortion, Darwin, or Jesus wearing the "wrong" clothes. to maintain a tradition you have to remember it, and US fundies are constantly reinventing themselves to conform to the conservatism of the day (look at how neatly Jack Chick and LaHaye's crackheaded reading of Revelations served Raygun's New Cold War or Israel's devouring habits). this sort of fundamentalism per se is a new development, from like the 10s and 20s. Islamist fundamentalism itself is a new development, with Khomeini and Qutb responding to more geopolitical developments than "restoring" any Safavid or Hashshishin theology.

in regards to Biblical literacy, I think that's what Protestants and "proto-" Protestants (e.g., Tyndale) were blasted for in the 14th-16th centuries: the Lutheran idea would let every person be their own seminary and their own minister, producing rampant amateurism. when it comes to Biblical interpretation, "mainstream" churches like the Catholics and, say, the Church of Sweden are far closer to each other than the Anglo world's fundamentalists; that's why most "mainstream" Christianity is OK with Darwin, whereas US fundies can have difficulty with the Copernicus-Kepler thesis!

even conservatism differs across this mainstream/fundie line: to attack gays, a conservative Catholic would cite "natural law," try to hide behind Aquinas, or simply cite precedent (i.e., inertia); a fundamentalist Evangelical would cite Leviticus yet refuse to keep kosher or burn their cotton-poly blend clothes, and then some things they heard or had seen in a video concocted by a minister or religious CEO (i.e., Prop 8's "arguments" about children finding out that someone's gay, or gay "recruitment," or "exposure" to homosexuality; also, creationists' ever-shifting arguments)

[GTurck]

12. I agree with...

you on their ever changing demeanor and shallowness. Knowing nothing they act like they know everything; they do blow with whatever wind comes their way. Rather like ill raised teen-agers. Back when I was being raised Baptist/non-denominational I was told they were following the "original" form of Christianity before the popes corrupted it. It is still a belief that fundamentalism is what Jesus started. My education really started trying to find out if that were really true.
It is not.
I converted to Catholicism at the height of Vatican II reforms and found a church that was forward looking and valued the intellect. As John Paul grew senile and Leo took his place it is began to revert to its former version of fundamentalism and I no longer am an active congregate.
I posit that anyone who does not hold a degree in church history or theology and tries to cram their ignorance down anyone's throat is doing the worst sort of damage to the spirit. And if they hold those degrees and cram it down anyone fie on them for misusing their knowledge.

[Morning Dew]

11. Steve's encounter with the Immigration authorities has left him addled

well, even more addled.

[AsahinaKimi]

13. Your post reminded me of this image..

http://patriotboy.blogspot.com/


oh wait!... it is the same website. heh! ^^

[David Zephyr]

15. K&R. I loved your post.

Sidesaddle. That was priceless. :)

[RandomThoughts]

16. The ideas of the hippies, ideas of peace and love, although not perfect. seem to be more about that

Since they had some other issues, everyone has issues, but I think peace and love is how some think of some of the teachings of Jesus and some of the thoughts of many hippies.

It could be long hair stories are part of Samson story.

And I think of hair, as hare, or Rabbit, which would be Rabbi T.

But anyway, some see it differently.

[Flubadubya]

17. Macho Jesus Lives!