6 Companies That Make Money Solving Problems (They Made Up)

[blondeatlast]

They say that sex sells, but when it comes to sales techniques, sex has nothing on fear. Huge swaths of our economy operate entirely on scaring people into giving up their money. And the worst part? A lot of the time their product is worthless.

So keep an eye out for companies like...

FreeCreditReport.com:

The Paranoia:

Quick question: How many times today has somebody asked you what your credit score is? Well, you're currently on the Internet, so it's probably somewhere around 400, usually by ads with sliding bars on them. We admit, your credit score determines some rather important factors in your life, such as how easily you can get a loan, or buy a house, or if that cute girl in the pop-up ad will go out with you.


She won't.

The Pitch:

According to FreeCreditReport.com, it's even worse than that: the ads say if you have a bad credit report, you'll wind up working in a seafood restaurant somehow. Even if it's due to "some hacker" stealing your identity. They're not the only website offering to give you your credit score, but FreeCreditReport.com is by far the most famous, maybe because of the way they carpet bomb the airwaves with an annoying jingle about how screwed you will be if you don't visit their website:



Holy shit, your whole career down the toilet, just because you didn't have the basic business skills to know a deal when you see one! Here's another one from them saying identity theft can keep you from ever owning a car, here's another one threatening you'll wind up working as a waiter if you don't subscribe to their service. On top of the fact that they're using goofy jingles to cover for a ludicrous threat, if you work in the food service industry these ads must royally piss you off. They threaten people that if they don't sign up for their service, they'll wind up like you.

Otherwise, they're pretty up front about what they do, right? Hell, it's right in the name? You head to their website and see your credit score for free. If it's good, then awesome; if it's bad, then... well, they're actually not very clear on what you're supposed to do then, but at least you know, right? And it didn't cost you a dime!

The Problem:

If you go to FreeCreditReport.com expecting a free credit report, you're in for a rather big surprise. What you're actually getting is a free seven-day trial for a credit monitoring service, which they're more than happy to renew automatically, at a rate of $14.95 a month. Not only that, but they're only sponsored (read: operated) by one of the three credit monitoring bureaus, Experian, so it's more or less impossible to get any complete credit information from them no matter what you do.


It's like ordering fries off the dollar menu, only they cost $15 and are a pumpkin.

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/article_18570_6-companies-that-make-money-solving-problems-they-made-up.html#ixzz0qKhk3BQV

No surprises, but funny commentary nonetheless.

[realisticphish]

1. Cracked is one of the greatest sites on the internet

and I'm really not using hyperbole... I think their commentary is 99% spot on

[blondeatlast]

3. My older sis steered me to it. Great stuff. nt

[RoyGBiv]

2. I lose pieces of my life to Cracked ...

Every time I go there for one of these, I end up following link after link after link.

And never get tired of it.

Good stuff. :)

[SemiCharmedQuark]

6. The 5 things you didn't know about childbirth is a great contraceptive

[RoyGBiv]

14. Ohdear ...

I hadn't seen that one.

My daughter's mother is a god. That's all I have to say.

[notesdev]

4. freecreditreport.com is a scam

It is a blatant example of false advertising, and there is NO disclosure. They ask for your credit card under the pretense of verifying identity then make charges to it without your consent. You can get those charges reversed if you call and harangue them but it is stressful and will take up some time to get done.

If you want the actual free credit report you are entitled to under law, the correct site to go to is annualcreditreport.com, where you can for free (really and truly free) get your reports once per year.

It is a dramatic example of the lawlessness into which our society has descended that no prosecutor has taken up the case against freecreditreport.com.

[Greyhound]

5. Well, rip-offs are the only industry left in America, so it's a really good thing

that we are just full to the rafters with unbearably stupid people.
:kick: & R

[ben_thayer]

7. AMEN !! nt

[rucky]

8. that's a keeper

[blondeatlast]

11. You got that right. A "friend" of mine was incensed that I wouldn't sign

up for LifeLock. She did but couldn't admit that she'd made a mistake.

She hadn't read a word about the lawsuits agauinst them (I never thought I'd be on the side of 2 credit reporting agencies, but definitely the lesser of two evils there).

[Greyhound]

12. At least (and I do mean least) the FTC finally shut him down after his ID

was hacked at least 11 times.

All sheep share a common destiny.

[Snarkoleptic]

9. I've often wondered if computer anti-virus companies cook up new threats to keep us buying.

[Blue_Tires]

10. i'm glad to see GOLD!!!!!!!!!!!! made the list...

their commercials are on the radio nonstop

[Cresent City Kid]

13. You know something's fishy when the real name of the company

is whispered in the disclaimer at the end.

FinallyFast.com is another one to beware. Someone here did an experiment with a brand new computer, which Finally Fast told him was infected with all sorts of nonexistant garbage. A lot of these computer speed companies give you the problem they claim to solve like the glass company that ties its business card to a rock and throws it through your window.