I will post this every time Mr. Cheney gets sick, and I hang my head in almost shame

[Mira]

The only way I will not do it again, is if there is nobody who smiles with me at this little apropos story


There was a man who, everyday, would buy a newspaper on the way to
work, glance at the headline, and hand it back to the newsboy. Day
after day the man would go through this routine. Finally the newsboy
could not stand it and he asked the man, "Why do you always buy
a paper and only look at the front page before discarding it?"

The man replied, "I am only interested in the obituaries."

"But they are on page 21. You never even unfold the newspaper."

"Young man," he said, "the son of a bitch I'm looking for will be
on the front page."

[malaise]

1. +1,000

Love it. I gave notice ages ago. I have not one shred of sympathy for the Dick.

[liberalmike27]

125. Feel as Bad for Him, As I would Darth Vader

But in a way it'll be bad. We'll have to endure three days of funerals, processions, and BS about how great the guy was.

Still, to get him to shut his mouth, it may just be worth it. At least Bush has the good sense to shut the f up.

[HeresyLives]

2. LOL I've never seen this before!

[JeffR]

3. !

:rofl:

[malaise]

6. Beautiful isn't it

:rofl:

[JeffR]

17. Perfect!

:rofl:

[etherealtruth]

4. what a great "story" :-)

[MrMickeysMom]

5. So, I'm guessing Dick is sick...

... but we already knew that son of a bitch was sick.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

7. My dear Mira...

Please continue to post this...

I definitely smiled upon reading it!

A most definitely charming story...

:hi:

[Political_Junkie]

8. Yes!

I'm smiling! :evilgrin:

[Barack_America]

9. Hey man, you reap what you sow.

And Cheney has sown an abysmal crop.

[aquart]

10. Satan is jerking Dick's chain.

Wonder what part of the contract he's failing to fulfill?

[Mira]

32. The deal was to sacrifice BOTH daughters. N/t

[dixiegrrrrl]

11. Know just how he feels.

[Mira]

12. You are

cracking me
the hell
up

God
please protect my own heart from
the strain
of
the
laughs.

[dixiegrrrrl]

15. IBTL, too!

:evilgrin:

[Mira]

21. I had to look up the " IBTL" and I see no reason for that. N/T

[sce56]

59. Reminds me of an old comercial

"The human heart goes boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, but the Devils Pump goes mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.........."

[upi402]

73. Doh!

Angina Interruptus!
I hope Dick steals Satan away from Sadam on Southpark. If you've seen that episode...

[FLyellowdog]

147. Thanks for the laugh.

Guess I should be watching the news. NOT!:hi:

[Manifestor_of_Light]

13. Undoubtedly, the doctors are still looking for a heart.

:rofl:

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

14. Smile? Hell, I'm laughing my ass off. K&R

[Martin Eden]

16. Cheney's death will bring me no pleasure ...

... unless it occurs in prison.

[Mira]

18. Actually

because of how much I agree with you I almost did not post this.
But it seems to bring a little levity to our fellow DUers.

And we can use it.

[dixiegrrrrl]

19. We are all in this together.

Like a pack..
Let us....prey.

[malaise]

24. DUzy

:rofl:

[BrklynLiberal]

36. Very well said.

[Enthusiast]

88. Pfff

[Martin Eden]

23. Actually, I did enjoy the humor

It's a joke I'll likely repeat, but I just had to add my $.02 about Cheney dying without having paid for his crimes.

[66 dmhlt]

116. So, is it wrong to simply give The Dick some directions?

[catzies]

124. Hey! Get outta my head!! That was MY first thought too!

And :hi: and a belated welcome to DU!

[66 dmhlt]

117. Is it wrong to simply give Dick some directions?

[rhett o rick]

126. .

[madamesilverspurs]

20. "Uh oh."

...what I believe Cheney will say at that moment when he realizes that it's over. Not an original line, it was also likely the final utterance to pass Falwell's lips. Either that, or "Oh, shit!"

---

[malaise]

25. I think you're wrong

That coward will be terrified

[madamesilverspurs]

30. Hence, the "oh shit!"

[sallyseven]

121. How about his famous line

Deficits don't matter. Remember that?

[donheld]

22. !

[ChicagoSuz219]

26. Don't wish for him to die...

...maybe just be rendered mute for awhile... ;-)

[Mira]

28. I can agree with you if your sentence ends at the word "mute"

and if he suffers that fate in jail, the mitigating factor will be the phenomenal free health care he can enjoy there.

[BrklynLiberal]

37. ala Joseph Kennedy..

struck silent and in a wheelchair for the rest of his life.

[Autumn]

27. You made my day with that

:yourock: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[mmonk]

29. Great one.

I will remember that.

[bigmonkey]

31. Cheney deserves the best care

that a person exiled to Antarctica can get.

[madokie]

33. I love it

[Greybnk48]

34. I love this!

I'm glad you posted this. I must have missed it in the past. :rofl:

[Mira]

39. Last time it was hidden

deep in someone else's thread. Each time I unearth it we're closer to judgment day.

[BrklynLiberal]

35. Perfect! Perfect! Perfect!

:thumbsup: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[MadMaddie]

38. Darnit

Error: You've already recommended that thread

I have never seen this either but how interesting it is..

[Terra Alta]

40. it sure gave me a smile!

And sums of my feelings quite nicely, too.

[bullwinkle428]

41. Thank you very much for the laugh of the day!

:D

[JVS]

42. Nice!

:-)

[Mz Pip]

43. He won't die.

He'll be back on his feet in time for the Sunday morning talk shows where he and his hateful daughter will resume their endless revisionist history and trashing of all things Obama.

When Cheney goes it will be in a puff of smoke. Poof. He'll be gone.

[Mira]

46. Yeah BUT

as was suggested earlier, Satan and the selling of souls is involved.
The contract involved BOTH daughters....

So I think big blowup is ahead.
I can't wait.

[nightrain]

44. it'll happen...

[Initech]

45. ROFL!!!!!!!!

[troubledamerican]

47. Hey Dick -- pick yourself up by your BOOTSTRAPS you lazy fuck

[americanmutt]

48. i could wish worse on him, but....

I think i just accidently posted to quick.
Moving on I ask, (hopefully) is he very ill. Not familiar with posting often, even though have been following DU news for over five years.

[Mira]

52. Please.

Join in. Post. Be a part of the huge group that cares about YOU>
To answer your question: It looks like he'll live. It looks like we might yet have a sliver of a chance to put him into a jail, where his heart palpitations will definitely increase but he'll have free health care even closer than now.

But just in case there is a next time similar to today, I'll just post my joke all over again.
The Universe is listening to our pleas.

[americanmutt]

58. Thank You MIRA....

I am of a very cerebreal mind and type to slow, but I have things to say too. I apprieciate your response to me. Pehaps i will post a bit more. And, yes, I loved your joke.

[annabanana]

83. (welcome out of "lurk" mode!)

Come on in . . .

[whistler162]

49. Practicing to be a Republican?

[Mira]

51. BUSTED N/T

[whistler162]

139. With that story you are acting like one!

[RoccoR5955]

50. Great joke. I feel the same way. n/t

[Lydia Leftcoast]

53. I'm told that this joke originated in Stalinist Russia, where it was only whispered

:-)

[K8-EEE]

54. I'm going to be very very offended at this inappropriate story....

AS SOON AS I STOP LAUGHING!

:rofl:

[anachro1]

55. I pray to God

his final days are wracked with pain.

[tomp]

67. his next life will account for this one.

he's got a long way to go on the wheel.

[Loki]

56. I love this, thanks for the laugh of my day!

:yourock:

[sonias]

57. "the son of a bitch..."

... I'm looking for will be on the front page"

:toast:

[Mira]

61. We will live to see it - I bet!!!!!

:toast:

[tekisui]

60. K AND R! I can't wait.

I don't care what that says about me!

[Mira]

62. ...

:pals:

[bertman]

63. The news said he was hospitalized with chest pains. I'm guessing assassination attempt

but the unlucky soul only got the holly stake partway in.

:mad:


Thanks, Mira. REC.

[DesertFlower]

64. great story. nt

[ChiciB1]

65. Any Death Is Tragic, But I As Others Probably WON'T Mourn If He Should

meet his maker! Which "maker" that will be seems obvious to many, I myself don't believe that way! I believe what I "see" and can't say I beleive in what I can't see.

Not one to support the Death Penalty, I would MUCH prefer he would meet the "maker" who would send him to that little cell! I CAN NOT remember in my adult life a person who deserves to be tried and BRANDED for CRIMES that he has yet to pay for!

A man who seems to have taken it upon himself to become a symbol of so much controversy and down right UNPATRIOTIC actions!

Whatever his fate, he WILL NEVER be missed by me! I can't bring myself to wish death to him, it's not in my nature. However, I can say he should suffer as he has made so many others do so! He's been a DARK, BLACK spot in our midst for much too long! A stroke could silence his vile actions and words at the VERY LEAST! Would that he be meant to live on this way, may be "sweet justice" in some fashion! There I said it!

Out, Out Damn SPOT, whatever the outcome should befall him!!!!!

[americanmutt]

68. May his torment be long lived....

a quick death is way to good for that evil ratbastard.

[MessiahRp]

74. To me the only tragedy if he dies now is that he won't die in prison for his crimes

The murder he reaped onto hundreds of thousands of innocent people all to enrich his friends earns this man no sympathy. May he die a painful, horrible death to at least have a taste of what he brought onto others.

Rp

[Gore1FL]

66. I heard that story.

It is about a man during the FDR era, though.

[PADemD]

69. Today (Feb 22)

his physical biorhythm is at its lowest point, which is almost as bad as being critical. His next physical critical will be Feb 27 to March 1.

[inna]

70. I don't want him dead, I want him tried and imprisoned. nt

[SusanaMontana41]

78. Me too

I want him to live a long life and die in prison, along with the other war criminals in the Bush administration.
Crashcart Cheney deserves nothing less.

[upi402]

71. Heartwarming

Poor old Mister Scrooge. Oh well, Here's to hoping there IS a hell!
:toast:

:evilgrin:

[liquid diamond]

72. The freepers have Bill's death to root for and we have Dick's.

I guess that balances things out in a sick way.

[politicosr]

75. Cheney's heart

But if Cheney is a reptile, does his heart continue beating
even after death?

[Bucky]

76. This is the most Lincolnesque post I've read all day.

Of course it's only 2 in the morning where I'm posting, but still... brava!

[BlueIris]

77. Yikers.

But funny as hell.

[trusty elf]

79. I wonder how the MSM will treat his croaking?

One thing is sure, we could pay off the national debt by charging people ten bucks each to piss on his grave.

[Hubert Flottz]

80. The SOB I'm thinking of will be in the paper on the list of people who

can't shop at Walmart anymore!

[eilen]

81. Personally, I think that a quick heart attack for slow code Cheney

would be too easy. I think a condition that requires dialysis, blindness, burning neuropathy at night, progressive amputations and big gaping bedsores would be karmically relevant.

[Skittles]

82. naw

it would just be more work for his socialized medicine employees

[Kolesar]

93. Stalin had a curable infection, but the doctors let him die

Stalin had killed doctors that he thought had not treated him correctly.
The last group of doctors made sure that would not happen.

IMHO, the sooner Cheney dies, the better. He is trouble.

[ScottLand]

84. I would never help Cheney along BUT

I won't shed a tear at his passing because that would be a disservice to the millions of people he's caused to suffer and/or die. We should save our empathy for the good people.

[Nothing Without Hope]

136. Exactly. I don't hope that he suffers physical pain, rather that he live long enough

to be brought to justice, the full truth out for all to see, his partners in death and corruption exposed.

[ScottLand]

146. I don't really expect it but

justice would definitely be the best thing.

[WVRICK13]

85. So True

It reminds of of the time the mayor of our small town said at a public meeting, "there isn't anything wrong in our town that a couple of expensive funerals can't fix."

[Mira]

152. ...

:rofl:

[Enthusiast]

86. Fascists torture!

Keith Olbermann's program yesterday evening showed Cheney's claim that waterboarding provided actionable intelligence to be untrue. Cheney's timeline was not only invalid-it was a fabrication.

Cheney is a patriot, he had five deferments so he could avoid service in Vietnam. I bet he was "for the war", like Dubya Bush was.

It's not just Dick Cheney. Could there be a more evil disgusting bunch than these neo-con Republicans?

[Prof Lester]

151. Cheezy had 5 deferments?

What.. did he have five hemorhoids instead of the one that Gasbag Limbo had?

[Enthusiast]

155. I understand that he

had five deferments of some kind or other.

[DWilliamsamh]

87. +100 -

I am an avowed Quaker and find it embarrassing that my FIRST reaction to hearing "former VP Dick Cheney was taken to the hospital...," was to wish the end of the sentence was "where he was pronounced dead." That evil SOB is one of the few people in this world of who I have developed literal hatred. I am not proud of it, but there it is. I know the Freepers may use this and other comments like mine to paint "the left" as blood thirsty.

I can't help myself - I just can't help wishing for this particular front page obituary.

[Enthusiast]

89. They might as well paint

us as blood thirsty, they make every other sort of untrue allegation about anyone with more than two brain cells.

[sandyj999]

90. Poor Sick Dick :(

[connecticut yankee]

91. Only the good die young.

[Syrinx]

92. funny story

But it is distasteful and illiberal to wish for someone's death. I refrain.

[mwb970]

94. I have checked the front page for cheney's death every day for years.

It was the first thing I looked for this morning, just like every morning. It has to happen someday!

[pleah]

95. K AND R!

[NEOhiodemocrat]

96. :}

I like the story, here is a smile for you

[formercia]

97. The Devil keeps throwing him back.

He's too much, even for Old Scratch.

[Faith No More]

98. No need to hang your head in shame.

If ever anybody deserves to die, it's this rotten bastard.

[Krashkopf]

99. As a retired VP and ex-member of Congress does the DICK . . .

get government-funded, single-payer, HEALTH CARE?

[Myrina]

100. He'll never die - neither side wants him.

:P

[Autonomy]

101. K&R

[liberal N proud]

102. :)

:) :-) ;-) ;) :D :evilgrin:

[Gman]

103. That the sorry bastard Cheney will not see his greatest fear

dying in prison, is a travesty of justice. And Cheney is plenty smart enough to know he by all rights and purposes should be in prison.

[madmax]

104. I believe this is from the 30's

the obit the man was looking for was FDR's. I may be wrong. :evilgrin:

[southpaw]

105. :-)

:)

[driver8]

106. That is classic!! Love this... n/t

[lonestarnot]

107. heh!

K & R

[no limit]

108. I'm not a huge fan of wishing death on anybody. sorry

[madmax]

140. :hug: me either... bad karma

[no limit]

145. I don't really believe in karma. I just think it's a fucked up thing to do

and I just can't believe that people here look at a human life and say "I wish you would die". I bet if you ask these same people if they believe in the death penalty they would tell you that they absolutely do not.

[jeremyfive]

109. It Just Shows the Devil Wants Him Back

And he can have him.

[kjackson227]

110. I also feel ashame because I always come thisclose to thinking...

this country would be better off if... but, anyway, I'd like to borrow this :)

[Wingmasters]

111. Great One .

:fistbump:

[UTUSN]

112. K&R #221, an all time high for me!1 n/t

[olegramps]

113. When I saw him recently being greeted as the Republican Messiah at the CPAC:

I saw a man that is absolutely evil to the very core of his being greeted as their savior. I believe that he is one of very few people in the entirety of history that I would put in this category. He incorporates the vile natures of such notables as Machiavelli, who he matches for cunning, Hitler for his vicious propaganda, Stalin for his brutality, and Pol Pot for his murder of innocent victims in a wholly unjustified war.

[Old Codger]

114. AMEN n/t

[redqueen]

115. *cough*

I nearly choked on my water. :D

[kmac3]

118. A Winner For Sure!

Purrrrrrfect
:rofl:

[Lars77]

119. I don't want him to die. I want him to rot in jail. nt

[DemoTex]

120. Good one! I've already sent it far and wide.

Thanks.

[nahant]

122. Darth

I for one am holding my breath until I see Darth's Casket being lowered into the ground. And even then I will be expecting him to hit front pages with his lies " From" the Grave!!

[Arugula Latte]

123. His heart hates him for his freedom.

[rhett o rick]

127. May he live long enough to let me see him in chains. nt

[femrap]

128. When I heard that dick

had been hospitalized, I smiled. He has lots of bad Karma so I bet he hurts.

Look what happened to raygun.

[Richardo]

129. OK That's pretty funny.

:rofl:

[kimi]

130. Thank you

It made me smile

[Skarbrowe]

131. Maybe he can waterboard his heart back to beating correctly.

On edit I forgot to tell Mira that is a most fitting story. :)

[Mira]

134. Thank you Skarbrowe - the number of responses show

just how hated this man is, and that we needed to let out a little air from all the frustration over him.
He should so be in jail, while his heart hurts.

[Joey Liberal]

132. I hope Cheney croaks while watching Faux News. nt

[wial]

133. I vote for exile

to that same Saudi hotel they sent Idi Amin. At least then the underinformed Americans would have to face some facts about him. Elba would be too good for him.

And I vote for making sure that smug smirk is gone from his face long before he goes.

[katty]

135. thanks for this!

[tclambert]

137. When Cheney does pass away, I will feel sorry for Satan.

He won't be the most evil one in Hell anymore.

[mochajava666]

138. Great story.

Seems like soon Cheney will be assembled completely of dead peoples' parts.

He is a very evil Frankenstein wannabe.

[Lisburn]

141. My, My .........

What a lovely group of people we have here.
My very wise and astute Mother, a pioneer in the Women's liberation movement I might add, always told me to be careful what you wished on others.
It will often come back to haunt you threefold.

Regards

[dixiegrrrrl]

142. Speaking as another pioneer in the Women's movement..

( altho I do not mind showing information on MY profile)
I know there are many who think as I do...


that everything Cheney has wished for others will come back to HIM 3 fold.

the sooner the better.

[Lisburn]

156. Interesting !

I do not see your full name, address, phone number in your profile.
You have a problem with my Mother, let's hear it !!!!!!!!

[Mira]

143. In this case

the good we do makes up for it.
I'd rather see him on the front page being arrested, which we are not able to make happen.

Now it seems, he has had his fifth heart attack and the Worlds' best Health Care has seen him through it, the one where we are paying for the treatments he gets.

I am glad he lived, to speak with Ed Schultz, so we can request some of that same health care for us, we would long be dead if we were the patients, because the sentiment of caring about us is
as alien to him as he is on this planet.

Even your wise and wonderful mother might make an exception and understand this post is meant in heart-cramping jest.

[Lisburn]

157. Nods.....Thanks

I understand completely.
When I read these nasty comments, I think " let's not become Republicans".
I would hope we are above that.

Regards

[npk]

144. Naughty...

But still funny.

[Chellee]

148. Funny. Don't let the holier than thou's tell you otherwise.

When he was hospitalized, the first thing my sweet, gentle, loving daughter said was "Did you hear about Cheney?"

"No. What?" I said.

"Well there's good news and bad news. The good news is, he's been rushed to the hospital with chest pains. The bad news is, he's resting comfortably."

:evilgrin:

[Geek_Girl]

149. Classic!

Thanks for the smile

:)

[mnhtnbb]

150. No reason for you to be ashamed; the shame is Cheney's that

he could so f*ck this country.

[varelse]

153. ...

:rofl:

That about describes me with every "Cheney in the hospital" thread here.

[Hotler]

154. kicking the Dick...n/t