military quiz time: you're under attack. you have only one rifle and two soldiers

[unblock]

soldier "a" is a sharp-shooter who has proven to be calm under pressure, can hit a bulls-eye from distances where you can't even see the target, is extremely loyal and patriotic and dedicated and highly awarded. "a" is confidently volunteering for rifle duty.

soldier "b" is an inexperienced idiot who has only proven to be a danger to themselves and their unit. "b" is trained in military paperwork and isn't particularly good at that. "b" has already lost bladder control and wants to go home to mommy.


if you give the rifle to the right person, they can take out the enemy and save everyone's lives.
if you give the rifle to the wrong person, the enemy will take you out and all of you die.

QUESTION: TO WHOM DO YOU GIVE THE RIFLE?











ANSWER: you have insufficient information. in order to find out everything you need to know, you must first proposition sexual activity with each soldier. if possible, give the rifle to the one soldier who is of the same sex as you but unwilling to copulate, or who is the opposite sex as you but willing to copulate. if both soldiers can be described that way, then you may chose soldier "a" if you really think that's wise, but the important part is never, NEVER to give the rifle to anyone who would agree to same-sex sex with you or who would categorically refuse opposite-sex sex with you simply because of your gender.

on edit: don't actually copulate, just proposition and establish willingness. you don't have time for actual fornication. what, are you crazy?

now, you may think there's a problem with this quick and dirty little test because what if they just really like you or don't like you, might that not throw the test? in fact, they might lie just because they want or don't want that rifle. sure, that's true, but you really must do your best to establish sexual orientation. there's nothing more dangerous than handing a rifle to someone who would get this test wrong.

finally, if both soldiers are either the same sex as you and willing or opposite sexed and refused, then just surrender now.

remember, above all, that on the battlefield, sexual preference based on gender discrimination is the single most valuable trait a soldier can have! our country depends on it!














***

if you think the above is ridiculous, that's because it is. any who thinks our country is best protected by a military that arms soldiers on the basis of sexual orientation over proven military skills is both a bigot and a military idiot.

[FLDCVADem]

1. Excellent post!!!

I was wondering as I read the scenario what the angle would be on bringing in that 'a' is gay and therefore unfit to serve.

[Jamastiene]

2. K&R

[The Straight Story]

3. I give it to the druid ...

;)

[Shell Beau]

4. But don't you know that if it is a gay man, he will obviously

want to jump on every guy he sees. Oh especially shower time. How will the gay man not want to screw every man he sees? It isn't about being a good soldier if you want to screw every man's brains out. Because only gay people want everyone of the same sex. For example: All gay women must want me because I am also a female. That is how it works, don't ya know? :eyes:

It really is so ridiculous that it needs a ridiculous quiz.

[1]

5. you can give the rifle to either soldier, you just can tell anyone...

[unblock]

6. dadt is for people who can't handle the truth!

everyone opposing gays in the military is insisting that somehow, sexual preference on the basis of gender is of great military significance.

if so, don't ask don't tell is just refusing to consider facts of military significance, which is a major military mistake!

[paulsby]

7. heck yea

and fwiw, the evidence is IN

it has (or should have) nothing to do with how one feels about homosexuality from a moral standpoint. it should have to do with military readiness and effectiveness.

in dozens of countries, gays serve openly and honorably, and these countries have cultures quite similar to our own

iow, it works there. it will work here.

the argument should be (imo) evidence based. the evidence is on our side

[Obamanaut]

8. If the sight has an inscription of a bible verse location, I wouldn't give

it to either soldier. If he, or she, misses, the inscription may anger the enemy who would subject us all to unspeakable atrocities, up to and including continuous showings of Roseanne

corrected spelling on edit

[Obamanaut]

9. self delete, dupe

[Ozymanithrax]

10. I'd take the Russian solution.

Give soldier A a rifle and soldier B a clip of ammunition. When Soldier A is shot, soldier B picks up the rifle and starts shooting. We hope he learned something. If not, look for more cannon fodder.

If they want to screw each other, toss off to Samba music, or fantasize about Garbo, that is their business. What happens on the Battlefield between a battalion of consenting adults stays on the Battlefield.

[RagAss]

11. Throw a grenade and run the fuck out of there.

[C_Lawyer09]

12. FYI

Admiral Mullen did a great job recently on this subject, especially in light of the fact that at least one, and probably another of the Joint Chiefs is virulently opposed to repealing DADT. Most Soldiers and Marines that I know, regardless of political stripe are for repealing. It is sad that our nation more or less allows a few politicians to wrongly frame this argument. It is just as wrong that Soldiers that are trained at 1m plus of taxpayer money, usually linguists have routinely used this ridiculous policy as an out, when assignments have not been to their liking. It is most disgusting when those with hugely distinguished careers, have been forced out, after attempting to comply with this out of date garbage.

[NuttyFluffers]

13. you give the rifle to the one that's most loyal to YOU (group/state/etc)... ;)

talent doesn't matter; you want the one who is loyal to you, period, even if they wet their pants and can only file paper... ;) if the most loyal is a danger to their unit, then give them the rifle and tell them to pretend to defect to the other side.
:evilgrin:

so from the above, the correct answer is A for this one simple clause, "is extremely loyal" -- IF, and only if, we ASSUME A is extremely loyal to US. if they are extremely loyal to "the attacking enemy" you're better off using the rifle yourself... on them.
:evilgrin:

but yeah, besides all this fun and games, DADT is shit and should be over already.