White House and Pentagon Scrap Plan for Iraq Wall; Plans Underway for Baghdad Freedom Dome

[bigtree]

(Satire)


Frustrated by complaints from Iraqis about the new 'security' wall the military was building, and unable to decide which Iraqi faction posed the greatest threat to their junta, the Bush administration has decided to scrap the wall and build an enormous bulletproof dome encapsulating the Green Zone and their embattled Iraqi regime instead.

Bush, who first came up with the idea for the "Freedom Dome," reportedly modeled it after his own isolating bubble. The plan is to gather up all of the Iraqis who still support the new regime and deploy them all to the dome to complete Bush's 'Freedom Agenda' without the meddling interference of any active opposition.

"Baghdad has been the site of most of the sectarian violence; it is the destination for most of our reinforcements*," Bush told a Michigan gathering yesterday.

The new dome would also deny al-Qaeda the 'safe haven' in Iraq that Bush said, referring to a "captured al Qaeda document," they want to establish miles and miles away from their refuge in Afghanistan where they've enjoyed freedom from prosecution for 5 years.

As explained by the 'Explainer-in Chief' to the Michigan rally of handpicked supporters, the new dome would also give out troops just one area of Iraq to fight and die defending. "They're going to fight us there, instead of everywhere else," Bush told reporters, in a challenge reminiscent of the "bring them on" taunt he made at the beginning of the occupation; inviting attacks on our soldiers.

"There are still horrific attacks in Iraq, such as the bombings in Baghdad on Wednesday -- but the direction of the fight is beginning to shift*," Bush said. "We and the Iraqi government are carrying out our new strategy in Baghdad and Anbar, as well as the "Baghdad belts*."

"In these and other parts of the Baghdad belts," Bush continued, "Iraqi and American forces are fighting to clear and hold territory that the enemies of a free society considered their own. They're fighting back. As a result, violence is increasing. And as our forces move deeper into the territory, the violence could increase even more*," he warned.

"This new approach to securing Baghdad brings risks," Bush told the Michigan crowd. "When I announced the new operation, I cautioned that more troops conducting more operations in more neighborhoods would likely to bring more casualties," he said. "Since the security operation began, we have seen some of the highest casualty levels of the war. And as the number of troops in Baghdad grows and operations move into even more dangerous neighborhoods, we can expect the pattern to continue."

"We must also expect the terrorists and insurgents to continue mounting terrible attacks," he added.

"Why is all that sacrifice necessary?" Bush asked himself out loud. "Day by day, block by block, Iraqi and American forces are making incremental gains in Baghdad*," he answered. "Incremental gains in Baghdad . . . thanks to the sacrifices of more U.S. troops on the streets."

"Yup," Bush said, "so far, the operation is meeting expectations*."



(*actual Bush quotes)


http://journals.democraticunderground.com/bigtree

[subterranean]

1. I'm glad you put the word "satire" at the top

Otherwise, I would have believed it. Someone in the Bush administration might read this and think it's a good idea.

[bigtree]

2. inside the emerald bubble

blooms the freedom agenda

[seasat]

3. If this ever happened under Shrub Inc here are the results

Thunderdome: two men, hand-to-hand, no jury, no appear, no parol. Two men enter, one man leaves.

Remember where you are. This is Thunderdome. Death is listening, and will take the first man who screams.

Thunderdome's simple. Get to the weapons, use them any way you can. I know you won't break the rules . . . there aren't any.




Where's Mad Max when you need him. Oh, yeah he's getting drunk and railing against Jews.

[bigtree]

4. I thought of thunderdome

Two men enter . . .