All Nippon airways is asking passengers to go potty before boarding to reduce aircraft weight

[Liberal_in_LA]

:hurts: :hurts: :hurts:

Final boarding call: empty bladders only

By North Asia correspondent Mark Willacy

Posted Thu Oct 1, 2009 5:09pm AEST


Japan's All Nippon Airways (ANA) is asking its passengers to go to the toilet before boarding so it can reduce aircraft weight.

--------------------------------

The airline will place staff near boarding gates to ask passengers waiting for flights to go and use the restroom.

ANA hopes it will reduce the weight of the aircraft and cut nearly five tonnes of carbon dioxide emissions from flights.

The airline says it may expand the trial if it is well received by passengers.


http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/10/01/2702335.htm

[tomm2thumbs]

1. they should just tickle them for 5 minutes before boarding - and then hold them still

[MajorChode]

2. They could also give optional enemas

They might even pick up some new frequent travelers that way.

[Lance_Boyle]

12. This is Japan - the enemas will NOT be optional

but they will be televised.

[MajorChode]

16. Good point. Imagine the game show potential

Contestants could score points by guessing what the traveler had to eat.

[ddeclue]

19. DUZY ALERT!

:rofl:

[Vickers]

3. They really need vomit urns right at the boarding gate.

:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:

[WatchWhatISay]

4. "The airline says it may expand the trial if it is well received by passengers"

Other possibilities not yet mentioned:

1) pre-boarding bloodletting
2) free in-terminal liposuction
3) have them go barefoot in swimsuits
4) free haircuts before boarding

[ddeclue]

18. DUZY ALERT!

:rofl:

[Orsino]

35. They could also drop that massive load of horseshit.

That would lighten the load considerably.

[DainBramaged]

5. This is as stupid as when I worked for Hitachi in the 80's they gave us

'pencil extenders' to save money so that we'd use pencils down to the nub. You couldn't get a new pencil unless it was less than 2" long. So we went out and bought our own

[Hannah Bell]

6. ? If there are 100 people in the plane & every one has a full bladder, how much weight is that?

say your average pee is 4-6 oz., so 400-600 fluid oz, what's the weight on that?

[MajorChode]

8. 2-3 lbs

Multiply that by 100 people or so and you get 200-300lbs. That may not sound like much, but American Airlines figured out that if they swap their regular 1st class stainless steel silverware with lighter metal, they will save millions in fuel per year. So the airlines are pretty serious about weight reduction even though some of it sounds pretty silly.

[dysfunctional press]

9. the 2-3 lbs has already been multiplied by 100 or so...

a normal piss isn't anywhere NEAR 3 lbs. a gallon of water weighs 8 lbs. who takes half-gallon pisses?

[MajorChode]

14. I must have slipped a digit somewhere

The average human bladder holds about 20oz max, so maybe 1 lb per person on the high side. Still it's a considerable figure on the airline side when you multiply that out times all the people who travel throughout the course of a year.

[Lance_Boyle]

20. The average human feels a strong urge to urinate when the bladder contains

about a cup of urine. So it'll be close to (but not exactly) a quarter pound per person per piss. Per piss-person? The important measure here is how many pisspeople it would take to fill a library of Congress.

[MajorChode]

22. 535 pisspots?

[Hannah Bell]

24. 53 pounds.

[Ignis]

27. Is that a Metric pisspot, or Imperial? (nt)

[havocmom]

30. Gads, one hopes the airline whiz kid engineer doing the fuel math didn't make similar errors!

Really, how many people want to ride with an airline figuring fuel to such a point that they want everybody to potty? Seems a tad risky.

[KittyWampus]

25. OMG! did you really just ask that? "who takes half-gallon pisses?"

Your post and this thread is why I could never storm off DU.

[TheMightyFavog]

28. Beer will do that to you.

So will coffee.

[dysfunctional press]

29. really? a half-gallon?

bladders aren't that big.

[petronius]

13. I think that was part of the reason AA used to have the bare-metal livery

The paint needed to cover a whole plain can be heavy (but then they'd need some other method of preventing corrosion).

Still, unless people are hitting the all-you-can-eat rib joint before every flight, I doubt the OP plan will save much weight - and it won't be worth the passenger irritation...

[Hannah Bell]

23. 1 fluid oz = 30 g x 8 = 240 g x 100 = 24,000 g x .002205 = 53 pounds.

53 pounds assuming every single person pees 1 cup.

i think that's ridiculous.

[Deja Q]

37. Do kidney stones count?

:evilgrin:

[Hannah Bell]

40. they don't have fingers.

[Berry Cool]

7. I believe now that the airline is asking passengers to "go before you leave,"

the passengers should be permitted to "slug-bug" each other for no reason, fight for window seats, and ask the flight attendants "Are we there yet?? Are we there yet??" every two minutes.

[NoPasaran]

10. "This is your captain speaking. I swear I'll turn this plane around if you in coach don't behave"

[CTyankee]

11. I always do that before I get on a plane. They keep you in your seat for a long time and

by the time you are allowed to get up they rolling the drink cart down the aisle. THEN you have to wait in your seat if someone is already in the toilet. So it's best to be way up front or right in the back, potty wise.

It makes sense to go before you board, in my opinion and experience...

[MajorChode]

17. It's pretty much compulsory on all my flights

My plane doesn't have a blue room. This is your only option...

[JimWis]

15. Sounds like when my kids were little. "You should have thought

of that before we left".

[dembotoz]

21. always try to. Airplane bathrooms are like peeing in a phone booth

maybe if the damn thing left on time I would not have to get my 5th cup of coffee before they announced boarding.

[KittyWampus]

26. Please recommend this thread

[havocmom]

36. K & R for one funny thread

can we get some more please. This is a keeper.

[KittyWampus]

39. Saturday morning comics

:)

[JBoy]

31. Get passengers to remove their underwear. Then sell it in vending machines.

[Maru Kitteh]

32. Nippon to passengers - Please leave your shit at the airport.

[havocmom]

33. Havocdad wants to know: Manditory toe nail clipping?

Discounts for bald guys?
Pretty girls cleaning lint out of everybody's belly button?
Sinus cleansing?

[Hekate]

38. High colonics

:eyes:

[11 Bravo]

34. Are they offering upgrades for taking a pre-flight dump?