'This is your captain slurring'

[Jackeens]

I shouldn't laugh, but........

A rescue helicopter was scrambled to help guide a DRUNK amateur pilot to safety. The slurry 65-year-old radioed horrified control tower staff asking: "Where the bloody hell have you hidden yourself?"The tipsy pilot - who guzzled wine and beer before taking to the skies above the eastern German state of Thuringia - went on to serve himself cocktails at the controls. Two hours later he was unable to read the instruments telling him where the Schoengleida airfield was. "Come on, I know you're down there," he radioed. "Where the bloody hell have you hidden yourself?"

Control tower staff say he also sang a few songs, cracked a mother-in-law joke and told them to "pull their fingers out as I've got a party to go to."Fearing instrument failure, the tower scrambled a rescue helicopter stationed at the airfield. It homed in on the man in clear blue skies about 50 miles west of the airport and gave instructions for the pilot to follow it back.

Officials at Schoengleida said the pilot, who has not been named, made a safe landing on Saturday afternoon. A spokesman said: "When the helicopter pilot went over to see him, that was when he got the full force of the alcohol fumes in his face." The unsteady pilot then wobbled from the cockpit to his parked car but concerned airfield authorities alerted cops. He was stopped on the way home, breathalysed and found to be nearly four times over the legal limit for driving. He has now lost his driving licence and his pilot's licence.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2615292/A-rescue-helicopter-was-scrambled-to-help-guide-a-DRUNK-amateur-pilot-to-safety.html

[Heidi]

1. So he lost his pilot's license.

Without that helicopter pilot's help, that coulda been his last flight, either way.

[47of74]

2. Airline slogans

Here's some airline slogans modified for this situation

You're now free to move about totally wasted.
We love to fly loaded and it shows!
Something loaded in the air.