Turn a Tuesday's face to the wall and listen to it bawl . . . so you can come CAPTION!!!!

[skip fox]

Dick Crazy is saying: "The problem with most men is the same as for animals: they break too easily. But unlike animals, men will give you lots of information if you just approach that point. Bear down a little bit and you'll be surprised at the things they'll tell you. With animals all you get is the fun . . . and the exercise."

[dhpgetsit]

1. "Let me explain...

"Once I embraced the fact they my heart and soul were entirely composed of human waste, it became easy."

[skip fox]

2. "I've found the trick to getting the upper hand with most men in personal

encounters is simple. Whe you talk to them, look them straight in the face and image them dead."

[TheCowsCameHome]

3. "Yeah, that's it - lower the lid slowly, then nail it shut, I'll close my eyes...."

and America will rejoice.

[skip fox]

4. "Well, . . . it's not rocket science. First you simply gain their trust. Go slow.

Let them make a joke. Laugh. Tell a funny story. . . . And then when they're off guard REALLY LET THEM HAVE IT!!!! . . . Heck, I like to get it so they'll never look someone in the face again. . . . Yeah, I guess you could say that. Public service does have a lot of rewards."

[skip fox]

5. "A night chained down on the beach with the crabs coming in at low tide

uaually softens them up nicely."

[skip fox]

6. "Some of them take a bit longer than others. This is where patience comes in.

You just gotta wait them out. It's boring, but you can use earplugs and bring a pillow and a book . . . It's really not a 9-to-5 job, you know."

[skip fox]

7. " . . . Well, you cut off their hands and you cut off their ability to gesture.

And with their tongues already out, it makes it hard to get information. . . . BUT NOT IMPOSSIBLE!!!"