One big multivitamin orgasm, Mark Morford

[madokie]

One to make you larger, and one to make you small, one to do everything, and all
By Mark Morford

It cannot be too much to ask.

It cannot be too much to require, in this damnable godless hellstorm wide-open eat-you-alive multitasking firebreathing global culture, that some brilliant mad scientist/entrepreneur invent a tiny water-soluble, easily digestible life-enhancing soul-fellating capsule which I can place into my mouth and swallow whole every single damnable teeth-grinding morning, which will then quietly transform my reality and improve my bone integrity and help me perform just a little bit better at everything I wish to do in life, along with many things I didn't even realize I wanted to do, because that's just the sort of impossibly devilish magic it contains.

I ask you right here and now: Why the hell not?

This is what happened: Like any good, alt medicine-loving person of sharp intuition and selective gullibility, I was regularly imbibing this one rather expensive men's multivitamin product for a good long while, years even, not thinking much of it and pretty much believing at least a fraction of its various miraculous multinourishing claims. ...

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(Full URL: http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2009/07/15/notes071509.DTL&nl=fix)