DU wives - comments please

[malaise]

Sanford said Chapur is his soul mate but he's trying to fall back in love with his wife.

-------
My hubby would return home and find the keys changed. A note would be outside the door with the lawyer's phone number.

[Pirate Smile]

1. Unbelievably insulting and humiliating to his wife to say that to AP.

He is slime.

[Cha]

27. And, just a little bit

STUPID:silly:

[Just Saying]

2. +1

I think Sanford's wife appears to be done with him, too! He's just trying to suck up to the family values crowd in his party and pretend he cares about his marriage, IMO.

[KG]

3. because he knows he'd be a career asst manager at wal-mart without her.

[pleah]

4. I hope she has a very good attorney.

:evilgrin:

[Catherine Vincent]

I'd pull an "Al Green" on him!

:evilgrin:

[Z_I_Peevey]

79. Ouch.

:toast:

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

5. My wife, being thoughtful, would have notified the ER of my imminent arrival.

[malaise]

10. DUzy

:rofl:

[Mz Pip]

62. I'd call 911

but would somehow forget our correct address. Ooops!

So sorry you tripped on that knife sweety. Hang in there, I've sent for help.

[dixiegrrrrl]

102. I would have notified the mortician.

[graywarrior]

6. There is something really wrong with him.

It shows how republicans think. It's all about him and no one else.

[Solly Mack]

7. I would never come between my husband and his soulmate

Now, between him and his assets? Most definitely.

[dixiegrrrrl]

103. YOU...I like.

:rofl:

[Solly Mack]

107. Don't get mad...don't get even...just get everything

:)

[sandnsea]

8. No note

Unless it was stuck to the front door with a butcher knife.

A close family member just went through this and it is treacherous. I cannot begin to describe the trauma and damage it does.

Don't Cheat. For pete's sake if the marriage is over, walk away. If you're not sure, confront it and go to therapy. But Don't Cheat.

[havocmom]

17. I left the note in his briefcase

Carved into the sides of it, to be exact.

[sandnsea]

134. Good for you

:hug: I'd never gone through it personally or with anybody really close to me. It's horrible. I hope this was a long time ago for you.

[havocmom]

138. long time, much growth for moi

Enough personal growth to appreciate a really fine, but not flashy Havocdad.

Living well IS the best revenge.

[Happyhippychick]

9. This guy had the biggest pop star of all time die the day after he became mired in scandal.

What the hell is wrong with him that he has to keep dredging up all of this horrible hurtful stuff? He would be yesterdays news if he would STFU.

And to answer your question, I'm not sure what I would do because it is inconceivable to me that my husband would do that to me or, more importantly, TO OUR KIDS!

[malaise]

16. Unfuggingbelievable

He's in love and cannot shut his mouth.
My hubby said if he had ever done something so hurtful, he would have resigned, moved out of the home and STFU.

[rvablue]

21. Exactly. Why dredge it all up again and provide a new headline when the MJ story took over?

This is why:

The dear governor and his staff are trying to get out ahead of another story that is about to break.

After the emails came out, the NYT interviewed the editor of the paper who published them. And he made a comment regarding the governor's staff that is very interesting given today's AP interview with the Governor.

The editor of The State said it was a red flag when the governor's staff seemed so caught off guard when asked about the governor's whereabouts as, in the past, it seemed as if they had some sixth sense about getting out ahead of all stories, that they were never off guard, never off message and were always at the ready with an answer to reporters questions.

So, my take it, that's what's going on here. There's another shoe or two or three about to drop.

[Frustratedlady]

11. He's still living under his fantasy.

I'd say he is toast when it comes to his marriage and governor of SC.

If she takes this lying, cheating, philandering creep back, she's more forgiving them I would be.

I feel so sorry for the boys.

[ohheckyeah]

12. I wouldn't want a man who

felt someone else was his soul mate and he had to work to fall back in love with me. Everyone says marriage is work, and it is but love shouldn't be. I don't have to work at loving my husband and I don't think he has to work at being in love with me.

[malaise]

18. And that's the essential point

He has publicly stated that his mistress is his soul-mate and even worse he is not in love with this wife. Fugg him.

[ohheckyeah]

30. Agree. n/t

[Pirate Smile]

22. He sure as hell doesn't have to tell the Associated Press. That is what makes this guy scum.

[malaise]

24. Ding ding

It's all about him - totally insensitive and a fugging liar to boot.

[ohheckyeah]

31. Isn't that the truth. n/t

[peacebird]

56. marriage is a lot of work, and there are times when you don't like each other

My hubby and I both agree that *love* is not only a feeling - it is first and foremost a decision. We decided that we loved each other 16 years ago, and there were a couple close calls in the first 7 years - but we stuck it out because we knew our love was more than a "Hallmark moment". It mattered to us, so even when we did not feel it, we persevered. It was not easy, but it was worth it. LOVE is the most work of all. Worth it, but definitely work, especially in the early years.

[malaise]

106. Yep those first seven years are the hardest

and yes once you decide you really like each other the hard work is worth it.

[Pharlo]

65. I guess at this point, it depends on how you define 'marriage'.

As a 'loving relationship', this union is SO over.

As a 'political/business' arrangement, it can still survive.

At this point, it depends on how Jenny Sanford defines her marriage.

Personally, I'm with you, I sure as hell don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me. But then, I didn't economically and politically build this moron into a GOP heavyweight. That's a lot of money and effort.

She has more time and money into him than Jackie Kennedy had in Jack Kennedy.

Personally, I think she should cut her losses and find a different political hack. One who'd walk the proverbial 'family values' line.

[GinaMaria]

85. She should have invested that time and money in herself

and her career and what is best for her and the boys. If these kids don't hate their father now, it won't be long until they do.

[Kber]

167. That's a very good point

I can't imagine hurting my husband the way the Gov has publicly hurt his wife. Our marriage has has it's rough spots, but in the end the real reason I've we've been OK is that we don't want to hurt each other.

He'd probably forgive me and he'd definately do right by the kids no matter how horrible I was. I'd probaby forgive him, too when it comes down to it. But it has nothing to do with "doing the right thing" and everything to do with the fact that I still love.

[Demoiselle]

13. The man is, quite simply, crazy.

Utterly irresponsible in every aspect of his life. He doesn't even understand that he should keep his mouth shut.
But he's not the only crazy one out there. Remember the talking heads last week who were actually cutting him a break of sorts because it was
clear he was in love with his Argentinian bimbette. And THAT's better than just a casual shtupping.!
Good grief. Parsing unfaithfulness!!

I wouldn't want Sanford anywhere near my children, for starters. And I think changing the locks and signing up with a lawyer is an excellent idea.

[redqueen]

38. That is extremely insulting to the mentally ill.

He's not crazy, he's just a self-centered asshole.

[fizzgig]

53. thank you

:thumbsup:

[LiberalFighter]

156. They should require those talking heads to indicate their marital status.

Single, Divorced (how many times), Separated (how many times), Married (how many times), Widowed (how many times), Living in sin (how many times, Living with someone not in sin (how many times).


Did I forget anything?

[babylonsister]

14. I'd kick his ass to the curb. They both should. He's insulting them both. nt

[Fire1]

58. Agree. If he did it to the wife, he'll do it to the soulmate. n/t

[Mabus]

15. For some odd reason, the name "John Wayne Bobbit" comes to mind

Fortunately the closest my husband has ever come to saying this is when he tells me that he falls more in love with me every day. He also thinks that I'm his soul mate. I feel pretty lucky and the feeling is mutual. We've been together for ten years and married for the past six.

[malaise]

20. Keep it that way

I don't think John Wayne Bobbit is appropriate here. No respectable woman would put herself in legal jeopardy for such a nasty cruel bastard.

[AngryAmish]

55. Sick

[wryter2000]

19. And furthermore,

All his stuff would be at the end of the driveway.

[malaise]

23. He wouldn't be that lucky

His stuff would be at the lawyer's office.

[csziggy]

34. I like that - but I think all his stuff would be at some undisclosed storage location

Maybe rent a Pod, load up his stuff and have the Pod stored. Then after the divorce and property settlement are all finished, his attorney could notify my attorney where the Pod should be delivered along with the bill for it. And his ass would never be allowed to set foot in MY house ever again.

Visitation with the children would be strictly monitored, too.

[malaise]

39. Yep I'd tell the lawyer to rent a Pod and store

his things since the bastard would end up paying all the legal fees anyway.
The lawyer would tell him when he can see the kids until details were worked out permanently.

[PSzymeczek]

28. At the end of the driveway

and in flames.

[noiretextatique]

74. that scene from "Waiting to Exhale" come to mind

put all the stuff in the car, then burn it.

[CoffeeCat]

25. What a fuckwit...

His wife is going to rake him over the coals. She's no slouch. She's a ball-busting former
investment banker.

Sanford is behaving like a moron, but I'm sure his wife appreciates all of this outlandish
comments, which should demonstrate, in a legal forum, that he's a complete nimrod.

[monmouth]

43. She is an intelligent and sophisticated woman from a privilaged family.

He found the rope she lovingly left for him and he is now hanging himself with it as we type.

[Ganja Ninja]

151. So he married money.

I think he's trying to get her to file for the divorce so he doesn't have to and I suspect it has something to do with the money.

[malaise]

113. I agree with Roger Simon

He's on the verge of a breakdown. No rational man would be still talking.

[Cha]

26. I've been married

and I would say.."Don't strain yourself, asshole..this isn't about you."

[malaise]

109. You know the perfect song for this

is You're so Vain.

[haele]

29. I would hope that if he did fall out of love with me, he'd still respect me enough

to either live with me as a friend and partner, or let me know before he started looking at other women that it was over, instead of sneaking around behind my back like a stereotypical 16 year old high school jock. (and my apologies to the 16 year old high school male athletes that have to deal with being painted with the same brush as those conceited, pampered little horn-dogs who's only glory days will be while they were in high school)

That man has absolutely no respect for his wife as a fellow human being - probably never did.

Haele

[MountainLaurel]

32. He's so certain she's gonna take his ass back?

To quote some earlier posts -- It's all about him. :wtf:

[a la izquierda]

33. If it was my hubby's soulmate...

I'd divorce him so he could be with her. I love him enough to let him go if it ever came to that. I don't need to be a hanger-on...

If it was just an affair, I'd work to repair the marriage. I know he'd afford me the same. Neither of us is perfect and we realize good people have awful lapses in judgment. We're also not so sanctimonious as to carry a "family values" banner everywhere we go. Sanford is not one of these people. He has built a career on the cross and bible.

[malaise]

46. Sis when your husband tells AP that his mistress is his soul mate

and he's trying to fall back in love with the wife, there's nothing to let go - he's long gone.

[a la izquierda]

133. Good point...

[spooky3]

60. my reaction is similar to yours except

I would be more selfish. I'd want out because I know there is no way that someone can make himself or herself fall back in love when s/he wants to be with a "soul mate." Every day he'd look at you and wish he were somewhere else. The painfulness of that is extreme and unending.

I agree with the others about how the worst of this (besides the hypocrisy and the dereliction of duty - apparently on multiple occasions) is his blabbing about this to anyone who will listen. How insulting and hurtful to his spouse and family). I don't see how I could recover from that and want to stay with such a pig. I know that situations are never as simple as they appear and she could have been a horrible spouse, but if so, the way to handle it is not to sneak around with MULTIPLE partners, hoping one of them will "click", which is apparently what happened, and then humiliate your spouse and children by telling everyone, in a misguided hope of getting sympathy from the world because you are "in love." He should have confronted the situation privately with her and separated.

[malaise]

94. 100% correct

Great post

[spooky3]

110. thanks!

:hi:

[madmom]

35. If I were his wife I would tell the press I have no comment till the STD tests come back.

[Hekate]

139. ROFLMAO

[JerseygirlCT]

36. I guess it would depend a bit on the relationship we had

was it worth working on?

Then, of course, nothing but nothing would happen until the other relationship was utterly and completely broken off. None of this "visit my mistress" crap. It would require a definitive and demonstrated commitment to the marriage.

He'd have a lot of proving to do. And I doubt I'd make it all that easy. But depending on other factors - was the relationship good before this? Are there kids involved? All those sort of things, I might be persuaded to try. I did believe I was making a life-long commitment when I married.

[spanone]

37. i'm a hubby, but if my wife would buy that load, i'd leave her for that.

[malaise]

41. Well said bro

:hi:

[spanone]

44. stay cool!!!

:toast:

[KansDem]

40. BREAKING!!! Graphic shows Sanford attempting to fall back in love with wife!

I'm trying, Hon! Really! You hear me? Hon? I'm trying... Hello? You down there?!!

[malaise]

42. LOL

:rofl:

[frogmarch]

45. My husband isn't a Christian, so

(we're both atheists) he wouldn't feel he should try to fall back in love with me. He would follow his heart and go to his mistress. I'd help him pack.

[malaise]

49. We're atheists as well but I would not be helping him pack

From he felt it necessary to go public with this, he's on his own.

[tnlefty]

47. I would've been done with him after his 'confession' press

conference when he stated something like, 'I hurt her, blah, blah (naming others) and then and I hurt my wife.'

Those damned e-mails, the soul mate statement and the confession of other dalliances. I'd be more than done.

[DFW]

48. My wife would inquire if she was still my SOLE mate

(Too bad that doesn't translate into German)

And that would pretty much take care of the rest of it.

MAYBE there is a woman out there who could convince me to do that to my wife,
but if there is I haven't met her, and I hope I don't recognize her if I do!

I've had a great thing going for 35 years, and I sure as hell don't want it to
stop. I'd have to be some kind of idiot (or Republican) to risk that, and my mama
didn't raise any idiots (although it has been speculated that with me she had a
borderline case), and she sure as hell didn't raise any Republicans!

[malaise]

50. Nice post

:fistbump:

[DFW]

59. 'Twarnt nuthin' to it

I have a nice wife. It was easy!:D

[LiberalFighter]

160. IMO there are no soul mates. It's just an excuse to start a new relationship.

And many times that soul mate is all about the little brain operating with too much blood.

[yellerpup]

51. I'd tell all the secrets.

Where the bodies are buried, where the money trail begins and ends, etc., etc., etc. Also, I'd make sure that he'd never succeed in "falling back in love" with me. I'd make him scream to get out.

[ismnotwasm]

52. Yup

I hardly ever contemplate this type of scenario because my husband and I have a deep commitment and are vocal people. I'd kick him to the curb though, more for the utter dishonesty of it than the betrayal I think.


Thing is, in this day and age people can make alternative 'arrangements' if they choose. There is no need to cause public humiliation and private as well as public pain like this. But there has to be an agreement. He could have left his wife, made a clean cut, but nooo. Had to drag it out. I hate people like that.

This "I was screwing around and I'm so sorry, don't ruin my political career by shit-canning me" is mean ass bullshit from a self centered rightwing nut who cherry picks the bible for justification. What an asshole.

[Cleita]

54. Quite honestly he's such a dumb fuck, I can't believe he can get any

women at all. I would probably be happy to be rid of him if I were her. I doubt very much if she's feeling a whole lot of passion for him either, so whatever is going on between them is political theater IMHO.

[Blue_Tires]

73. i had mentioned in another thread that the mistress MUST find fascism VERY sexy...

[dugaresa]

77. I think he lucked into his wife. Based on what I have read she was

the power behind the throne and helped him basically make himself into who he is today.

Any man or woman dumb enough to leave a supportive spouse who helped you achieve great heights is dumber than a box of rocks.

Perhaps he was intimidated by his wife, perhaps he felt less a man because she basically made him what he is today? Perhaps he wanted to be the "big man on campus" but in reality it is those antics that normally cause a lot of men to fall into shit.

(same situations apply to women but boy do I see men do this more often than not)

[malaise]

87. It's way more than that

Men who marry for money usually end up resenting the real power broker in the relationship.

[Gwendolyn]

57. Depends.

a) If my SO suddenly turned 180 out of character to actually say something so sophomoric and self-serving in public, I would be completely devastated and heartbroken, and would probably never have much faith in my ability to judge the character of others again.

b) If I despised my husband as much as he appeared to be sick of me, I'd probably shrug and turn my attention back to the pool boy for my foot massage. The lawyer can wait till tomorrow.

c) If I were religious, I'd probably accept the fact that it was probably my fault and put up with it. Lots of appointments for spiritual guidance and maybe one of those "put the spice back in your marriage" christian retreat things to learn new tricks and get him to love me again.

The Sanford's are prob a mix of b and c... plus in their circles, marriages are often a business proposition so you have to roll with the punches.

[seabeyond]

61. i would have simply walked before, now.... a huge public FUCK YOU. then find a "hot" contempary

and play

but would have to be handled properly, with class, cause of the kids

[marions ghost]

63. she hasn't done the Republican 'stand by yer man' thing....

no heroic fallen alpha male photo-op with subservient red-eyed wifey standing by.

It's over. She's probably known for longer than she admits...letting him hang himself...

Argentina would be far enough away. Git.

[Missy Vixen]

64. Any woman who'd stay after something like that

has terminally low self-esteem.

I'm with you -- my husband would arrive home to not only find the locks changed, his stuff in boxes and on the front porch, he'd be served with paperwork as soon as humanly possible.

[Blue_Tires]

66. well rightly or wrongly,

a lot of rules are different in these big-money, high-profile marriages where keeping up appearances is the golden rule (see: professional athletes) -- so i predict she will take him back and the family will block it out of their collective memory; saying its between them and god

[malaise]

89. Sis the appearances in this marriage are over

finito - done.
I'm betting she takes her sons, leaves his sorry ass and SC.

[LiberalFighter]

158. That might be true if Sanford had a future and Jenny didn't have her own resources.

[tavalon]

67. Can't help you here

My husband's girlfriend comes over every other week and stays the night. My other hubby is leaving right now to go visit his girlfriend in Seattle. But then, there is no cheating in this house. Partners all know and like one another.

I do vaguely remember from my monogamous days that the required emotions are supposed to be jealousy and anger and those would likely encourage lock changing and throwing clothes in the front yard.

[Texasgal]

68. Mo'fo would not be allowed back into my life

except for the kids.

I would move on... no sense in making myself miserable because my husband dosen't love me.

Plus, he's a pig.

[SeattleGirl]

69. I'd say if he has to "try" to fall back in love, it's really and truly over.

His wife is a human being, not some poor lost puppy that needs him to take pity on her.

Move on, Sanford. I'm sure when all is said and done, everyone will be much better off.

[madokie]

70. I'm not a wife

but if I was her I'd kick his ass so far he'd be getting travelers miles upon coming back. What a skunk the man is, huh.

[dugaresa]

71. To be honest if he feels that other woman is his soul mate I would

tell him "have at her" and take him for half +1.

Sorry that was immensely cruel of him to say.

[Jeanette in FL]

72. I can't help but hear Alanis Morisette "You Oughta Know" as the theme song in Sanford's debacle

And I am with you Malaise, note on the door with the locks changed. :hi: girl

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dR6mEu5-egA

"You Oughta Know"

I want you to know, that I'm happy for you
I wish nothing but the best for you both
An older version of me
Is she perverted like me
Would she go down on you in a theatre
Does she speak eloquently
And would she have your baby
I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother

'cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able
To make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, till you died
But you're still alive

And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know

You seem very well, things look peaceful
I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know
Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity
I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner
It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced
Are you thinking of me when you fuck her?

'cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able
To make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, til you died
But you're still alive

And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know

'cause the joke that you laid on the bed that was me
And I'm not gonna fade
As soon as you close your eyes and you know it
And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back
I hope you feel it...well can you feel it

Well, I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know

[malaise]

91. Great song

How are you Jeanette in FL? Has it stopped raining yet? :hi:

[Jeanette in FL]

122. It has stopped raining for the moment

I am up in North Florida, but have a project going on in South Florida. So I will be traveling back and forth. It has been pouring down there. Oh well, we need the rain.

What a crazy time it is?

How are you doing?

[malaise]

131. Pretty well

Chilling on fresh fruit and juices - it's so hot.

[Bobbie Jo]

75. Yeah...I got your fall back in love right here.

Not only no....Hell No. :spank:

[OneGrassRoot]

76. If I were her, I'd sell tickets to a public Lorena Bobbitt event. n/t

[MagickMuffin]

78. Bye Bye, Birdie

If he told me there was another woman and she was his "soul-mate" then he should be with her.

As for Sanford, he has had other women that he has "crossed the line with other women" how could anyone TRUST someone who has admitted to affairs with several women. But he's only had one affair where it was sexual, gets caught red handed and to top it off has TWO press conferences to air his dirty laundry and the last one declares, "My mistress is my Soul-Mate, but I'm TRYING to fall back in Love with my wife!" Sounds to me as he hasn't been in love with his wife for a long time.

I just wonder who his "spiritual adviser" was that went with him to NY to meet with his Argentina mistress?!?!?!?

How many times does someone "try" to break up with his mistress?.?.? "Honey, I can't quit you!"


And let's not forget how Sanford was outspoken concerning Clinton's indiscretion.

Family Values :puke:

[PSzymeczek]

159. Was he "crossing lines" with other women

or SNORTING lines off them?

[GinaMaria]

80. he's making it easy for her lawyers

Handing it to her on a silver platter. Although, maybe he doesn't have much to lose? She has the money and the smarts. He's got nothin'. Maybe he resents that :shrug: Let's see how long his soul mate stays in his life. He just admitted to cheating on her too.

[mirrera]

81. bingo. n/t

[elehhhhna]

82. I'd say "Great! "Cuz you're fixing to be with your soulmate for eternity" as I murdered him.

Mr. Elena says I'd say "Thank you Jesus! It's Christmas in July!" LOL

[malaise]

92. LOL

I'm not going to prison for love or hate :D

[elehhhhna]

119. lol who said anything about prison?

[Blue_Roses]

170. me either...he's not worth it...

nt

[zazen]

83. some say for women that the emotional infidelity is much worse than strictly physical

I've heard this from sociobiologists, who are always suspect in my book, but it's certainly true for me. On the one hand, I'd think, what kind of monster did I marry who could just f--k indiscriminately, but at least if his primary emotional connection was with me, I wouldn't feel so utterly emotionally abandoned, which is the worst kind of trauma.

But he has broken the cardinal "hell hath no fury rule"--to claim he's IN LOVE with this woman? Jenny and the x-ians therefore can't write her off as a prostitute or proxy for one. This is too wounding, even for Promise Keeper domestic discipline crazy subordinate quiverful wives. F-ing around is one thing. Claiming you've chosen them as your soulmate is quite another.

Sanford's also emasculated himself this way in the eyes of a lot of male republicans. She'll sense that. Jenny will probably remarry another Christian guy who will "appreciate her." I don't see the Swaggert crap working in this instance. Also, she's got the money. She can easily find an up and coming politician with a better future. Hell, maybe an enterprising group in SC can begin compiling a list for her. Plenty of 50- or 60-something business guys who'd love to rescue her.

[malaise]

97. Ding ding

He's dug one hell of a hole and the sooner he jumps in on his own, the better for everyone.

[pipi_k]

99. When my first husband cheated on me (one time) with my sister...

one of the first things I wanted to know was did he kiss her...


This was about 38 years ago. I was terribly hurt by the betrayal but it would have been a whole lot worse for me had I known that he got that intimate with her. Sounds funny, I know...

Any farm animal can screw its brains out, but kissing implies a deeper connection.

[malaise]

104. That must have been painful

When hubby and I first met I wasn't interested in a committed relationship but we made one agreement - neither of us would date each others friends or relatives.

One of my friends had a crush on him and he asked her if she knew the meaning of friendship.

[StarryNite]

84. He's a victim...

or so he is trying to make it appear that he is. Poor guy, he loves the other woman but he'll try to fall back in love with his wife? WTF? :puke: His wife should consider herself lucky to be rid of the asshole.

[GinaMaria]

86. thanks but no thanks for the crumb

try to fall back in love with her? How exactly does that work? How would one go about doing that? I hope she retained every great divorce attorney in the state as soon as she first heard about the affair.

[StarryNite]

108. Exactly!

And he tries to make it look like it's all his decision whether they stay together or not. Who the hell does this guy think he is? He probably gets off on the idea that two women want him. The "other" woman should kick him to the curb as well because he's nothing but a cheater. Not much of a prize I would say.

[GinaMaria]

144. I can't figure out how he got either of them in the first place

and all this blustering to make it look like it's his decision or he's in control tells me the exact opposite is reality. I think his wife had much more control in the relationship (and should, she's the sensible one). He's not even a consolation prize. He's more like a fungus you can't get rid of.

[kjackson227]

88. I'm a former wife, but...

I'd tell the a-hole "don't do me any effing favors, and get the hell outta my house, you slimey, weasely sob". What a prick.

[malaise]

126. Former wives have lots of experience

dealing with the Sanfords of this planet.

[dysfunctional press]

90. i'll bet that he never stopped loving HER inheitance, though...

and it is a good incentive to get his feelings for her back up to speed...:rofl: :rofl:

[malaise]

98. He should have thought about that

Ed Shultz is about to tear him a new one.

[pipi_k]

93. Shit or get off the pot, buddy...

If he wants to play around, he can do it after getting a divorce.


Oh, and this whole bullshit business of "falling back in love with" anyone...that's exactly what it is. Bullshit. As far as I'm concerned, being "in love" with someone means the object of our adoration hasn't yet fallen off the pedestal we've put him/her on.

As soon as the pedestal crumbles, we figure we're out of love and go looking around for the next person to "fall in love with" because "falling in love" is like getting a legal high.

I think it's juvenile fairy tale crap, but then I'm just an old cynic who's seen too many relationships fail when people "fell out of love", forgetting that Love at that level hardly ever lasts forever. It evolves over time. Many people have a problem with that...

[malaise]

100. Too many people marry for the wrong reasons

Love is great but it's way more important to like your partner and share common interests. That way what starts as passionate love becomes genuine love.
Shit, Sanford married for money - how was that ever going to work.

[annabanana]

95. "trying to fall back in love"... . .really.. don't bother. . .n/t

[malaise]

105. Roger Simon is having a ball with this on Ed

That was hilarious.

[handmade34]

96. I call it emotional abuse to admit this in public

I am not one to get even and my concern is always for the kids. I would encourage him to live his passion and go to his 'soul mate' and then make the best possible live for myself and kids (with the divorce settlement).

[dixiegrrrrl]

112. I ws thinking "emotinal masturbation" as I listened to him talk and talk and talk about the bimbette

He is clearly very infatuated.
And he clearly loves to talk about the affair and the woman, while the cameras give him all the time and space to do it.
Emotional masturbation. The guy even looks like he is in a trance while he blathers on.

[malaise]

114. I can't wait for the movie

I'll even watch Lifetime Channel for this one. :rofl:

[dixiegrrrrl]

123. Jonathan Pryce as Sanford. Catherine Zeta Jones as Bimbette.

duno know who for the wife...hmmm.:think:

[malaise]

124. Laura Dern

She played Katherine Harris in Recount and Jenny Sanford is a dead stamp of Harris

[foo_bar]

145. Tracey Ullman?

[eppur_se_muova]

165. Pithily put. nt

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

101. All his stuff would be in a pile on the front lawn. Possibly a smoldering pile.

And he'd be heading back to his floozy in Argentina looking like a Ken doll, ifyaknowwhatImean. The surgery would have been performed with a rusty hacksaw.

[Rosa Luxemburg]

111. I'd keep the good stuff before putting it on the bonfire

[lunatica]

115. If she takes him back she's the idiot

[Phoebe Loosinhouse]

116. If she was even considering taking him back, I would bet that's over after this

Not quite the "humility" she was looking for as a condition.

I also think the soulmate is looking at this God-awful behavior and thinking "How the hell did I get involved with this quivering mass of self-justification?"

A man who has power, like being a Governor and an actual (OMG!) contender for VP is a lot more attractive than a FORMER Governor and contender for VP.

[malaise]

118. I was thinking that this kind of catastrophic mid-life crisis

only happens to people who deny young people the right to date and have some fun before they get married. He's behaving like a 17 year old with his first girlfriend. It's pathetic to watch and horrible for his wife and family.

[spooky3]

129. good points!

[lumberjack_jeff]

137. Neither one wants the other back...

... they simply want to look good while knifing the other. Sanford is losing badly.

[marions ghost]

155. that's it, yes

nobody believes this posturing...

[rainbow4321]

117. Heh..mine DID return home to locks changed

and his clothes in suitcases out in the garage (with wedding ring on top in a baggie--it was a really, really cheap ring, no money value, we were very low on $ when first married)...

By 9 am: the $10,000 401K loan he had taken out just prior to me finding out about his affair--I had gone to our credit union and took all the money out. All of it.

The best part about the 401k..the divorce judge ruled that since HE had signed the loan paperwork, HE would legally be held in paying that money back....I hadn't sign anything related to the loan so I didn't owe shit back.
The second best part was the day I took the money and he called me (not knowing I had already raided the bank) hours after I withdrew the money and said that he and HIS MISTRESS were at an ATM trying to get money out of OUR account and there was none left. Gee, imagine that. Still rings in my ears him saying "WE were trying to get money out..."
UM, silly me, but the only WE that I was worried about was me and my two daughters who woke up to find that their dad had not come home from his "going out to play some video games"--he had used that excuse in front of the girls the night before.

Oh, BTW, to show what an idiot he was, upon coming home and finding changed locks and clothes in the garage, he asked if he could take a SHOWER before he collected his shit and left. HELL TO THE NO!!! GET OUT!!!

[malaise]

121. You're a smart woman

Deal with the details and postpone the emotional part.

[Beacool]

141. Good for you!!!

:applause:

[Lisa0825]

120. One word: FUCKTARD nt

[Raine]

125. Stating that the other person is your "soul mate"

would be a deal breaker for me.

[guitar man]

127. Just talked to the Mrs

And I ran this by her.She said if I did the same thing that I'd be lucky to get my shit out of the house before she broke it all, maybe over my head and that her attorney would be in touch....and if I saw her car coming down the street it would be a good idea to stay way back from the curb.....and hiring a food taster might not be a bad idea....and don't even think about going to sleep....you son of a bitch mother fucker!

:rofl:

[malaise]

128. Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

Too good - ask her about the press conference and the homicide on this thread.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=5962379&mesg_id=5962379

:rofl:

KO is about to have some more fun with this.

[OmahaBlueDog]

130. Mrs. OBD has already explained to me how this works

It involves an F-150 truck running over me and my lovely mistress

[malaise]

132. That threat should keep you in check

:rofl:

[greenbriar]

135. all his shit that I didn't sell would be out on the front lawn

and child support/alimony would be HUGH

[lumberjack_jeff]

136. I think it's really quite amusing...

... watching these two who have made careers of sanctimony knife one another in the most hurtful ways their little atrophied hearts can imagine.

Makes me appreciate my own family's values.

[Beacool]

140. Sanford is not the crown prince of some kingdom.

He ain't no Prince Charles. If he doesn't love Diana, then he should be free to pursue his Camilla.

I other words, if this woman is truly his "soul mate", he should man up and divorce his wife. He's not doing anybody any favors, including himself. Everybody involved would be much happier in the long run. His wife would be free to restart her life and he would be free to marry the woman he loves.

Human beings always complicate matters.

:eyes:

[Hekate]

142. He'd "try"?! After saying all this shit on national television?! Checklist: Locks, Bank accounts...

... emptied, his personal possessions at the curb and not boxed up, Lawyer... And oh yes, very important, unplug all the TVs in the house (since the *hole can't seem to stfu) and make up a sanitized child-sized version of why Mommy and Daddy won't be living together any more.

As Mehitabel the Alley Cat once said, "I might lose my temper and slice him from gahena to du-o-de-num."

As for my own Mr. H, we've known each other for nearly 30 years, have lived together for 26 years and this October will celebrate our 22nd anniversary. We've had some rough times, but infidelity (either sexual or emotional) has been the farthest thing from either of our minds. Right now he's at his own computer running the numbers on my Social Security statement to decide if it makes more sense to start drawing it this year when I turn 62 or wait a bit more -- actually I already know the answer: this year, and bank it till we need it. There's aggravation, but there's also a huge amount of trust and love.

We were both married and divorced before meeting each other, and I can't speak for him, but deciding to get divorced was one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life (two toddlers were involved) -- but once the decision was made I did not turn back, and to the best of my ability I approached it as logically and ethically as I possibly could. I've read some DUers calling women ice-cold who plan their divorces logically, but I don't see the point in falling to pieces where your children and your neighbors can see you do it. I cried alone in my car and alone in my bathroom. I didn't cry at the lawyer's office: I told him the situation and gave him the information to do his job. I didn't cry in front of my ex: he just thought that was female manipulation. I didn't tell my children their father was an emotionally abusive drunk, either -- he had done nothing to hurt them. OTOH, my ex didn't go on national television to air his dirty laundry, either.

Sanford is a piece of work, dragging his wife and family through this. It's up to her whether she wants him back, but I sure wouldn't.

Hekate

[malaise]

147. Nice post

I love it when parents don't drag the kids into the mess that is divorce. It makes no sense to complicate their young lives by telling them the truth about a parent. They eventually learn for themselves.

[eridani]

143. If you have a polyamorous marriage, the first principle is--

--that new commitments NEVER cancel out old ones.

The second is that you never lie about other relationships, ever. "To live outside the law you must be honest."

[GinaMaria]

146. I'm not blocking the door

if he wants out at anytime, he can go. But once gone, he stays gone. I've been on my own before and I can do it again. There are benefits to both married and single life. The trick is to appreciate what you have when you have it. I can be happy with or without him.

If he handled the situation like dickhead Sanford, I might be inclined to find a more 'creative' approach to the ending of the marriage.... Attempt to unload him on eBay comes to mind.

Will pay you to take him off my hands. Lowest bidder wins:
A cheating, smarmy, self-serving, no talent, scandal ridden, soon to be ex-gov of SC.

Would not make a good family pet. Do not recommend for families with children.

No useful purpose found.

No where near new condition. This is an old model I tried to return to the factory (his mother) because he was broke. She did not want him either. Does not come with a warranty. Item may or may not have communicable diseases.

Positives:
Does not have fleas (that I know of)

Spends many days away so you don't have to deal with him as much

If you are desperate for a man, any man, this one will do. Don't delay. Start the bidding now.

[JNelson6563]

148. It's one thing to work out an arrangement

when you are dealing with your private lives. This is no private affair and Sanford's wife is the subject of public humiliation. That negates any advantage that might be involved in "working things out", even temporarily (like til the kids are older/grown).

Julie

[Orsino]

149. This is the conservative sense of entitlement, writ large.

Homeboy imagines himself as less than completely a laughingstock.

[malaise]

152. No that's impossible

Unless he is batshit crazy, he must know that his version of facts are hilarious to rational adults.

[Orsino]

153. Again, this is the conservative sense of entitlement.

He feels entitled to hold office, and to behave as he has, despite mere "facts," which are rarely relevant to GOP political strategy.

[lukasahero]

150. My husband wouldn't do it - I married a grown up

Thank god for the wonderful man who is my husband.

[Scout]

154. she needs to dump his sorry ass n/t

[livetohike]

157. They have been living a lie

They both strike me as people who on the outside have this little facade - their religion, their four children. What a happy, happy family :sarcasm:.

The whole situation is pitiful. It's clear Gov. Sanford needs psychological counseling for his emotional public confessions. If his wife truly is surprised by all of this, then she is a fool.

[Blasphemer]

161. There is no "falling back in love" at that point... it's over

I'd be hurt and angry of course... rejection hurts no matter what but eventually, you have to accept the reality that the person you love is in love with someone else. It happens all the time in relationships.. we just hope we are done with that after marriage. Reality is not that simple.

[goclark]

162. Is he taking MJ's missing Meds?

This man is a finished fool.

The GIFT just keeps on Giving! :bounce:

[eppur_se_muova]

163. Face it -- the guy is BOASTING of his "conquests".

He knows his marriage is over, but he's trying to impress the guys before the spotlight turns away from him.

All that's lacking is the :wink::wink::nudge::nudge:

[LWolf]

164. What I did.

Leave. I was gone in 10 days, and never looked back. That included a separation, which he later finalized into divorce; I found out 4 years later when I moved and needed proof of marital status to take title of the house I bought. My lawyer was frustrated with me; he wanted me to "get something." I took $4000 out of our savings and used it as down and closing on an fha loan; got a tiny little cottage to lick my wounds in. I took one vehicle, my books, clothes, and computer. I left him everything else, including the house. Very disappointing for the lawyer, lol.

No discussion, no closure, no revenge. I figured I'd leave it up to karma, although, if the law allowed, I would have been happy to administer the karma myself.

Not for several months, though. For several months I lived in a state of shock; it took that long for anger to catch up.

I took the high road, and, for the most part, have not regretted it.

I admit that occasionally, in low moments, even 8 years later, I still sometimes wish I could witness what went around coming around again.

Still,

[fadedrose]

166. I'd send Chapur a thank-you note and sign it "very sincerely" nt

[Blue_Roses]

168. mine too...

how do you "fall back in love" when you've already found someone else you claim is your soulmate:shrug:

this man is beyond dumb...:eyes:

[redwitch]

169. I would change my hairstyle, lose weight, learn to pole dance...

Anything to keep my man.

:rofl:


I have a great deal of sympathy for Mrs. Sanford and her kids and think Mr. Sanford should stfu. Not bad enough he cheated he keeps talking and talking. Family values guy alright.

[Tracer]

171. I came home early from work one day ...

... and found my husband and his latest "soul mate" sitting at my kitchen table.

(Yes, it could have been somewhere else!)

I said nothing. Just looked at them. The "soul mate" got up and left, and when the door closed, I calmly said to husband: "Get out. Now."

He went upstairs and packed his bags.

I've led a very happy life since then.

[Christa]

172. Two words

Lorena Bobbit.

[Still Sensible]

173. Rude Pundit nailed it yesterday

...Sanford actually said, "I will be able to die knowing that I had met my soul mate," a line that should automatically be accompanied with a ceremonial "handing over of the balls."

[Mother Of Four]

174. Will post this somewhere else later maybe n/t