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Ok, DU'ers, pick apart this piece of shit I got forwarded this morning.

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gbate Donating Member (900 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 09:43 AM
Original message
Ok, DU'ers, pick apart this piece of shit I got forwarded this morning.
Divorce agreement, written by a law student and American:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists,
Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so lets just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:


Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass, each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.


We don't like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).

We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine, and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N., but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find. You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.

We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya, or We Are the World.


We'll practice trickle-down economics, and you can give trickle-up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda with you
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rockymountaindem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 09:45 AM
Response to Original message
1. Just find a map of the "giver states" and "taker states"
and ask said individual if they want to live in a country formulated only from the states that currently rely on the federal government for a significant portion of their operating costs.
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YOY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 09:47 AM
Response to Original message
2. Not this again...
First off...chances are this was not written by a "Law Student"...no one under 40 gives a flying fuck about Babs Streisand and Jane Fonda.

"The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem" were both written by liberals.

That and in the title it addressess "Marxists". "Marxism" isn't a form of government...it's a tool of polticial analysis. You don't even have to agree with Socialistic/Communistic tenants to use it.

The whole thing is one chest puffing piece of garbage that I will guess was really written by a 60 year old know-nothing dittohead.
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HughBeaumont Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 09:50 AM
Response to Reply #2
9. "TEH RED MENACE"!!!
Yet ANOTHER canard that has no resonance or significance to anyone under 45, although you would never know this if you talk to Conservatives.
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YOY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 10:00 AM
Response to Reply #9
22. If they really wanted to know why the Soviet Union fell they would open a book or ask a Russian.
Edited on Tue Jun-30-09 10:03 AM by YOY
It wasn't the "Triumph of Capitalism", "The Failure of Socialism", or great Saint Reagan politicizing the moment.

What killed the USSR was the USSR. It was run by a single party system that could not adapt to change and relied on nationalistic propaganda to affirm support and deny the need for any change.

If they were capable of critical thinking and drawing connections it would kill them.
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Hutzpa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 10:27 AM
Response to Reply #22
28. Who does that remind you of.....
What killed the USSR was the USSR. It was run by a single party system that could not adapt to change and relied on nationalistic propaganda to affirm support and deny the need for any change.


The Republicans are in the same boat and they don't even know they are taking in water.

So, no surprise that the numbnuts craft that piece of shit.
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YOY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 10:55 AM
Response to Reply #28
40. Well you just showed that "critical thinking" and "drawing connections" I was talking about.
Them? Not so much.
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Hutzpa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 11:30 AM
Response to Reply #40
45. Sorry to have just put it
out there, my emotions got the better of me.
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HughBeaumont Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 10:50 AM
Response to Reply #22
38. Hmmmmm . . ."run by a single party system that could not adapt to change . . ."
. . . "relied on nationalistic propaganda to affirm support and deny the need for any change."

Hmmmmmmmm.

Tell me, which nation does THAT sound like? :rofl:

I heard a great quote from someone once: "If Republicans hate anything socialist/communist SO much, then why do they support the very economic way of thinking that led to it's creation?"

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supernova Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 09:47 AM
Response to Original message
3. And that's a bad agreement, how?
;-)
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Kali Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 10:03 AM
Response to Reply #3
23. I was thinking the same thing.
Edited on Tue Jun-30-09 10:04 AM by Kali
Just reply with an "OK."
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HughBeaumont Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 10:42 AM
Response to Reply #3
34. OUR way will eventually lead to better safety nets . ..
Edited on Tue Jun-30-09 10:44 AM by HughBeaumont
. . . such as guaranteed minimum income and universal health care. All for the greater good. These assrockets don't seem to get that homelessness is CAUSED by unbridled corporatism and warmongering which LEADS to defunding of social safety nets.

They also don't seem to get that you can't run a nation successfully on little to no taxation. "WHUT?? Yew mean I hafta PAY fer this park I useta go to fer FREE? I haveta PAY t'get bewks outta th' lahbrarah now? Whut th' hell's this pay-drinkin' fountain shit?"

Circular logic - bad for databases AND humans.
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el_bryanto Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 09:47 AM
Response to Original message
4. This piece of crap has been going around for qutie a while
Sometimes with the positions reversed - i mean what is "Fuck the South" but another version of this sort of argument.

"We must, indeed, all hang together or, most assuredly, we shall all hang separately. " - Benjamin Franklin

Bryant
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47of74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 09:47 AM
Response to Original message
5. Just send the idiot who sent you this the following response
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HughBeaumont Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 09:48 AM
Response to Original message
6. Yeah, dope addict. We'll see which one of us "needs whose help in 15 years."
Greed kills everything it touches. History is on OUR side, not this fictional e-mail writer's.
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LaurenG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 09:49 AM
Response to Original message
7. How about - stick your separation agreement ....
:rofl:
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Kokonoe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 09:49 AM
Response to Original message
8. Stage 4 will be the bestest.
1. Denial: "It can't be happening"
2. Anger: "Why me? It's not fair"
3. Bargaining: "Just let me live to see my children graduate"
4. Depression: "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"
5. Acceptance: "It's going to be OK."
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wyldwolf Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 09:50 AM
Response to Original message
10. we'll take their porn back. They'll think twice when we threaten that
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kentuck Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 09:52 AM
Response to Original message
11. From my calculations...
Edited on Tue Jun-30-09 09:52 AM by kentuck
If they keep what they want and give us the rest, they will pay more "redistributive taxes" than we will. There will just be less of them paying for it which means their taxes will probably go up? I would say, be careful what you wish for, to this fine law student...
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thecrow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 10:51 AM
Response to Reply #11
39. Especially if "they" keep the military.
:rofl:
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Just Saying Donating Member (133 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 09:54 AM
Response to Original message
12. Tell whomever forwarded it to you that you want a seperation from them!
I find it interesting that the right believes that the military and leos are on their side. Or that they get to keep the drug companies even though so much of their ilk doesn't even believe in science! It looks to me like they plan to keep the greedy, the stupid and the violent. Big loss, huh?

Good luck dealing with your right-wing "friend"! I feel for you.
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no_hypocrisy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 09:54 AM
Response to Original message
13. Has Snopes debunked this beauty?
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YOY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 09:57 AM
Response to Reply #13
15. How do you debunk it? It doesn't cite "facts" really.
It's just a rambling poorly informed opinion about what they want and just how "right" they are.

Funny even in the case of "trickle down economics" which apparently is THE ONLY WAY TO RUN THINGS if you don't want a "Welfare State"...it doesn't work. We'd be swimming in jobs otherwise.
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no_hypocrisy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 10:00 AM
Response to Reply #15
19. On occasion, Snopes will debunk a "universal" e-mail with a particular message.
In this case, there is no such person, or that person is not in law school, or never was a democrat.

OK, it's debunking via ad hominum versus the meat of the matter, but it would show it's a divide-and-conquer approach used by stealth conversatives or neocons.
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MGKrebs Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 09:55 AM
Response to Original message
14. I'm sure it's supposed to be funny, but...
it just highlights the "us or them" nature of a lot of conservative thought. No room for gray areas or compromise or complexity. You're either with us or against us.

This "joke" takes the essence of liberalism- tolerance and progress- and tries to make it distasteful. I think that's the only way it could be construed as funny. But in the process, this joke portrays conservatives as greedy, intolerant, belligerent, selfish, arrogant, and... stupid.

I mean, what is the deal with ANWR? Do they want to nationalize it? Who do they think actually owns that oil?
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Beetwasher Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 09:57 AM
Response to Original message
16. Red States Wouldn't Survive W/out The Taxes From NY And California
End of story.
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RaleighNCDUer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 09:57 AM
Response to Original message
17. Hey, I'll take that bet.
We definitely are getting the best of the deal.

You'll be a 3rd world hell hole in 18 months.
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islandmkl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 10:00 AM
Response to Original message
18. just tell the sender:
"Naw...that was aleady tried back around 1861. Surely, you know American History, don't you? Or, do you hate Lincoln and all he stood for?"
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madrchsod Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 10:00 AM
Response to Original message
20. looks like it`s cut and paste from two generations of this letter
fonda,streisand,shirley mcclain, hippies, homeboys,peaceniks? i`d like to teach-kum ba ya-we are the world? i love the "subaru station wagon" code word....

never underestimate the stupidity of the nut balls on the right

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LeftishBrit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 10:00 AM
Response to Original message
21. Aaaaarrrgggggghhhhhh!!!
OK, we'll keep the 'special relationship' with the liberal side.


What on earth does he mean, 'since the late 1950s'? Surely, since the end of the Civil War, 1865?

It's a bit rich that he wants his side to have the Battle Hymn of the Republic. Wasn't that originally created as a song of the Liberal Side against the Right-Wing Side during the last divorce, over slavery?


Or is he referring to the McCarthy Era, as the greatest period of history?
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Ikonoklast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 10:14 AM
Response to Original message
24. Divide up my landmass?
Ok, stupid, you and your ilk get to keep 29% of this country, by area. Since you are in the minority, the rest of us get to choose where to put your dumb asses. You don't get a pick here, pal, you'll go where we tell you to go.

You ain't getting half, and you ain't getting a vote in the process.

Lots of empty space in Wyoming. We could give you the whole state. We'll find some other empty spaces you can have, but you can start by moving to Wyoming. Now.

That's what's left for you 'true beleivers'.

And if you think the military will go right along with you, boy do you have another think coming.
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Kievan Rus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 10:22 AM
Response to Original message
25. Let the wingnuts get their own country
I'm tired of them trying to drag America into the 12th century. If they want to do it to Wingnutland then by all means, let them do it.

Just don't let them have nukes, because they're crazy enough to actually use them.
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zeemike Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 10:22 AM
Response to Original message
26. My answer.
Fuck you...we are not going to divide this country up to pleas a minority..this is a democracy buddy unless you have not noticed the little thing called the constitution.
Now if you want to leave us then go ahead but we will not give you half our home and half our country.

You are free to leave if you don't like democrocy...find another country where you can bully people that don't agree with you...because this is our country, our flag and our government.
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Just Saying Donating Member (133 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 10:26 AM
Response to Original message
27. I found this response to "John" online
Edited on Tue Jun-30-09 10:27 AM by Just Saying
http://hepzibahpyncheon.blogspot.com/2009/02/divorce-pr...

Dear John:

Thanks for your letter suggesting you conservatives and we lefties divorce and divide up the country. Let me take up your points (reproduced here in italics) one at a time:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement.

OK. Well take the East and West Coasts, the university towns, like Madison and Austin, Chicago, Colorado, Arizona and New Mexico actually, come to think of it, no, you cant have any part of my beautiful country. Lets move on to the next point.

After that it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes. We don't like re distributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

Now youre talking. You can have the portion of the country where people like yourself pay a third of your income while the fat cats pay less than 10%. Without your complicity, this wouldnt work. Have at it. As for the ACLU, yes, well take them. They are the folks pushing for an open trial for Omar Khadr, who was captured at 15 or 16, brought to Guantanamo and tortured, and has been there these past seven years slowly going mad, without ever being able to have access to a lawyer or his family. Yes, by all means give us the ACLU.
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Butch350 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 10:28 AM
Response to Original message
29. Thanks I'll make a copy of this...

I'm out of toilet paper.
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Hutzpa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 10:31 AM
Response to Original message
30. Another Bible thumping or Bible humping
chest pounding American. WTG!! chump....


:evilgrin:
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zeemike Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 10:34 AM
Response to Original message
31. Oh hell I just thought of a solution.
We could take all the liberals out of Uruguay and bring them here and ship out the ones that want a divorce to that country...then they could have there own country to run like they want...compleat with a right wing military force....Everyone would be happy then.
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underpants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 10:35 AM
Response to Original message
32. OOooh a Shirley McClain reference!
Boy is this guy going to be surprised when he finds out who pays for everything (the blue states)
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havocmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 10:38 AM
Response to Original message
33. I always wonder about the reason someone would waste DU bandwidth
by posting winger crap in entirety without any personal remarks thrown in. Yeah, yeah, want help picking it apart.... Heard it before.

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kestrel91316 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 10:46 AM
Response to Original message
35. Why should WE do your homework for you? This exact crap has been
picked apart on DU, oh, probably at least a thousand times by now. Which you would know if you spent time here inspead of on FR hatching stoopid little ideas like this with your rushbot friends.

Transparent much?
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kestrel91316 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 10:48 AM
Response to Original message
36. I note with some humor that the poster has already left the scene.
Hit and run........lol
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YOY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 11:41 AM
Response to Reply #36
46. Apparently thinking they dropped a "hot topic" that will really "show us"
n/t
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kestrel91316 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 12:22 PM
Response to Reply #46
48. These "I got this RW email from a friend, help me out" threads
are like Spam.........
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Johonny Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 10:49 AM
Response to Original message
37. The email shows basic ignorance
The writer is confused by what conservatives and liberals actually believe. Based on that it's hard to respond logically. Do liberals hate guns universally? Apparently not if you ever read a gun post here at DU. Many liberals belong to the NRA. Are cops conservative? Most are hard working Union members. Does that fit in with liberal America or conservative America? Do liberals hate the military? Apparently not since they voted for Obama last election. How would the poster keep the pharmaceutical companies? Does he know they exist due to huge government spending on research. Is that a conservative principal? Do liberals not have Judeo-Christian values? No. Do all conservatives have Judeo-Christian values? No. One could go on and on. Basically the letter is baseless because it fails at the basics of understanding of the two parties and what they support and believe in.
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votingupstart Donating Member (535 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 10:58 AM
Response to Original message
41. junk mail - delete button - move on nt
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NoGOPZone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 10:59 AM
Response to Original message
42. I hear our friends in UK want the music to the National Anthem back
The Battle Hymn to the Republic also uses a stolen melody.

As for redistributive taxes, where does the author think the red states get their money from?
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pipi_k Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 11:07 AM
Response to Original message
43. Fine by me...we'll let them have all their fucking Red States...
There's plenty of room in Texas and Oklahoma, Montana, Colorado, and wherever else there's lots of open space and not a whole lot of unnecessary things like...oh....WATER, for starters...

Tornado alley...yeah...and when their homes are destroyed and they're looking for help, they can help themselves. Same with whatever landmasses they choose that might be in the way of annual hurricanes. Too much water there...oops.

If there's ever another "Dust Bowl" out in the midwest, to hell with them. Lizards and cactus and the minerals from boiled rocks make a mighty fine stew, I'm told.

So they've got all these natural disaster scenarios to work with, and add to it their idiotic presumptions that they have to populate each and every square foot of available space with more humans.

Yeah...I'm scared....

:eyes:

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Cleita Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 11:23 AM
Response to Original message
44. Barbara Streisand and Jane Fonda? This freeper is really dated. This is really funny.
I read something similar a couple of decades ago. They just updated it a little. They should have left off the reference to Streisand and Fonda though. :rofl:

I really wouldn't mind giving them their own state. Isn't there an uninhabited island up in the Aleutians we can give to them? They'd be closer to their beloved Sarah Palin as well.

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Mz Pip Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 11:44 AM
Response to Original message
47. I remember a version of this
from last year. There was a smart ass rebuttal posted that was priceless. IT was similar the the one linked above but better.

Maybe someone can find it. Anyway, thanks for the heads up. IF this is going around in its new and improved form I'll be sure to get it.

Mz Pip
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EC Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 12:39 PM
Response to Original message
49. Divorce granted
Edited on Tue Jun-30-09 12:43 PM by EC
irreconcilable differances... now move out...dividing the country will not work, since an overwhelming majority voted for all the things you seem to disagree with, so bye, bye, don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out...and good luck finding a new place to live...maybe Russia allows unfettered capitalism since it's all new to them... :shrug:
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Mz Pip Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 12:56 PM
Response to Original message
50. Here's a link to the responses

the last time this was posted. Some very good comeback!

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.ph...
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nini Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 01:01 PM
Response to Original message
51. haha.. I love the weight slam on Oprah etc
I guess they haven't seen Rush lately. :eyes:

In my eyes - let's go for it. They can have the beloved middle America and we'll take the coasts.

Fuck 'em.

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Individualist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 01:12 PM
Response to Original message
52. Respond to those "Christians" with the following...
Edited on Tue Jun-30-09 01:18 PM by Individualist
Mat 25:34
Then the King will say to those at his right hand, 'Come, O blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world;

Mat 25:35
for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me,

Mat 25:36
I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.'

Mat 25:37
Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see thee hungry and feed thee, or thirsty and give thee drink?

Mat 25:38
And when did we see thee a stranger and welcome thee, or naked and clothe thee?

and...

"Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth."

"Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy."

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God."

"Blessed are you when men revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account."




Mat 25:39
And when did we see thee sick or in prison and visit thee?'

Mat 25:40
And the King will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brethren, you did it to me.'

Mat 25:41
Then he will say to those at his left hand, 'Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels;

Mat 25:42
for I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink,

Mat 25:43
I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.'

Mat 25:44
Then they also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see thee hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to thee?'

Mat 25:45
Then he will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it not to one of the least of these, you did it not to me.'

Mat 25:46
And they will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life."
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nini Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 09:16 PM
Response to Reply #52
55. excellent
I love the matthew25.org group. They're trying to beat down the right's grasp on Christianity with these verses the right tends to ignore in their bibles.
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Tommy_Carcetti Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 01:37 PM
Response to Original message
53. Well, at least Hugh Moran, Esq. is honest about his intentions
"...We'll keep the ..... greedy corporations....we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us....We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.... "

If that's what that dumbass believes, I'd love to see how far his country lasts.
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KamaAina Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 01:42 PM
Response to Original message
54. Ooooh! Fat jokes!
(You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).

How very mature. :sarcasm: Does this "John J. Wall" (if that is his real name) listen to Rush Limbaugh, by any chance? Or admire the judicial philosophy* of Antonin Scalia? :eyes:
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jmowreader Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-30-09 10:50 PM
Response to Original message
56. I'll try it. I don't know if I can do it justice, though
Dear Mr. Wall:

It's funny that you should ask for a divorce from we liberals. For the last 59 years we've been picking up the empty beer cans you throw out your car windows, bailing you out of jail and feeding all your drunk loser buddies. You want a divorce from us? Fine.

We'll just divide the country by political ideology. We'll take California, New York, Connecticut, Massachusetts, Michigan and Pennsylvania. We'll leave you Wyoming, Alaska, Oklahoma and Texas. We know you hate redistributive taxation so you probably despise the fact that the states we are giving you are four of the biggest recipients of federal largesse in the whole country. You can have Florida too, just as long as we can have Wisconsin. It might be a little rough on you when your supplies of pickups, guns, beer and Harleys dry up, but you're rugged individualists, right?

We'll make sure to leave you guys lots of wheelbarrows too. When you throw all the illegal immigrants out of "your" country roofs, lettuce and lawn mowing services are going to get really expensive, so you'll need wheelbarrows to haul all the extra cash you're going to need around.

I'm a little confused about a couple of your requests, though. You want Walmart and Judeo-Christian values? I can't really imagine that Jesus would want to shop in the store that's most responsible for sending American jobs to China. But you want 'em, you cah have 'em.

Tell ya what. You guys can keep The Star-Spangled Banner and we'll take America the Beautiful. Your song commemorates a one-night battle against a military that's now our finest ally, and it's almost completely unsingable.

You can keep those trickle-down economics. That's fine with us because all the states that have any money are coming with us. You'll notice the trickling down from your economics is yellow and smells like ammonia. Well, there's a reason for that.

Oh, and we're taking all the birth control with us. It's against your Judeo-Christian values. This might be a little rough on you because your wives say they won't have sex with you unless they have some way to avoid bearing any more of your idiotic, hyperactive brats. We recommend stocking up on porn and vaseline.

We also know you believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right, but you have the right to know that green pus dripping out of your dick isn't really normal. You may want to take the luxury of having that looked at.

You know all those Muslim countries you hate? Ones like Iran? Wanna know why you hate them so badly? In very large part it's because they decided to eliminate the separation of church and state just like you guys are going to do in your own country. Well, that's what we liberals are trying to prevent.

By the way, you know that hot Alaska hockey mom isn't actually from Alaska, right? I think Alaska's the only state in the nation who ever sent anyone named Stuart to the Miss America pageant. (This is no shit. They really did.)

So is it agreed? We'll take everything about America that makes it great--the tolerance for opposing viewpoints, the richest areas and the places that make the cool cars--and we'll give you Tulsa.

--Mary Stewart
Proud Liberal
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RFKHumphreyObama Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-01-09 12:05 AM
Response to Original message
57. Well, judging from the experience of the last eight years...
Edited on Wed Jul-01-09 12:07 AM by RFKHumphreyObama
I do think we know who will be needing help in the next 10 years if this "agreement" goes through. The right wing idiots will have run their little "country" into the ground and Mr John J "Off the Wall" will be there with the rest of them on their knees and begging to be let into our part of the country. And then we can kick them out and deport them to one of the islands in the Pacific where global warming/climate change is having the most impact -hey, since they don't believe in global warming it won't be a problem will it? -and we can replace them with all the inhabitants of the islands where the people are endangered because of the consequences of global warming/climate change. Perhaps then, Mr "John J Wall" may have to face some "inconvient truths" of his own
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Iris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-01-09 12:18 AM
Response to Original message
58. If healthcare is a luxury, than that certainly leaves society and our economy in a precarious
position
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question everything Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-01-09 12:28 AM
Response to Original message
59. Cheap imitation. I got this email after the 2004 elections
Dear Red States,

We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii , California , Oregon , Washington, Minnesota , Wisconsin , Michigan , Illinois , New York , and all of the Northeastern states. After this election, we'll be adding Colorado and New Mexico .

We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, especially to the people of our new country - Nuevo California. To sum up briefly: You get Texas , Oklahoma and all the slave states; we get stem cell research, the best beaches, and the best ski resorts. We get the Statue of Liberty; you get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft; you get WorldCom. We get Stanford, Harvard, Princeton, Yale , Cal Tech, MIT and Columbia ; you get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of America 's venture capital and entrepreneurs; you get Alabama . We get two-thirds of the tax revenue; you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than that of the Christian Coalition, we get a bunch of happy families and you get a bunch of under-educated single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we'll need all of our citizens back from Iraq at once.

If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They apparently have kids they're willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't mind if you don't televise their kid's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq and hope that those Weapons of Mass Destruction turn up for you, but we're not willing to spend any more of our money in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States, we will control 80 percent of the country's fresh water, 90 percent of pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 97 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at your state dinners), 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, and all the Ivy League and Seven Sister schools. We also get New England, the Great Lakes and Yosemite , thank you very much.

n the Red States, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans and their projected health care costs, 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, 90 percent of tornadoes, 94 percent of hurricanes, 99 percent of Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, as Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Bob Jones University , and Clemson.

Additionally, in the Red States, 38 percent actually believe Jonah was swallowed by a whale; 62 percent believe life is sacred unless it involves the death penalty or gun ownership; 44 percent claim that evolution is only a theory; 53 percent insist that Saddam Hussein was involved in 9/11; and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you have higher moral standards than those of us on the left.

By the way, we're taking all the good pot, too. You get that dirt weed from Mexico and Kansas ditches.

Peace out,
The Blue States
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DearAbby Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-01-09 12:35 AM
Response to Original message
60. Ah, kiss my lumpy wrinkled ass.
you can forward that...:insertsmileyfippingthebird:
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