Would you attend a wedding if the bride and groom opposed gay marriages?

[bluestateguy]

Say you were invited to be a guest at a wedding where both the male groom and the female bride were against gay marriage. Would you attend?

I don't think I'd ever be in this situation because all of my close friends favor marriage equality, but it's interesting to think about.

[Skittles]

1. no, because they would not be my friends

[closeupready]

6. Yeah, that, too.

n/t

[demosincebirth]

23. If it was family, I'd sure go.

[Raine]

36. Me too

I'm tryng to make amends with my extended family and I would go. Anyway I don't know how they feel, some are repukes but politics is not dicussed in the family for the sake of harmony.

[WVRICK13]

59. Typical

This isn't personal. This response and other like it show how spineless we Democrats are and it is why things don't change. I frankly don't give a fuck if they are family at whatever level, if they are anti-equality bigots I would not grace their event. In fact I would send the a letter telling them why I was not attending, not a damned gift. We really are the party of nice guys. Guess what folks, being too nice gets you fucked.

[demosincebirth]

69. Having friends of different opinions is not your cup of tea? Well thats your problem, isn't it?

[leftynyc]

70. What a childish comment

Do you insist that everyone you hang with believe exactly as you do? And you would disown family for disagreeing? How dull life must be in your little echo chamber.

[WVRICK13]

73. No

But being a gay male I am a bit sensitive to bigots. I would not associate with a racist, animal abuser nor spouse abuser. Why? Because our views are entirely too different for me to be their friend.

[sarcasmo]

62. Bingo, the only scum in my life that are against gay marriage are my wife's relatives.

All church goers by the way.

[Norrin Radd]

2. No.

[closeupready]

3. No. Point blank.

I would maybe send a gift, but no, I absolutely would not attend.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

4. My nephew is getting married soon...

But I have no idea how he or his bride feel about gay marriage...

I'm still going, and so is the rest of the family.

I'm not sure what I'd do, otherwise...for other marriages, I mean.

I would certainly attend a gay marriage, if I were invited.

This is not as simple a question as some may think it is.

[Solly Mack]

5. People like that wouldn't invite me to begin with...

[murielm99]

7. If they were family, I would attend.

Otherwise, no. It is likely they would not be my friends. I try to avoid friendships with bigots, racists and anti-Semites.

[kestrel91316]

8. I don't have friends of that sort. But if it were family, I either wouldn't

know or care where they stood, in the case of cousins, or they would be pro, in the case of my sister's kids.

[mirrera]

9. I don't have friends like that.

[WeDidIt]

10. No

I have in the past back in the 90s, but I would never do so again.

[lindisfarne]

11. To complicate & clarify: what if they were opposed to gay MARRIAGE but ok with gay civil UNIONS with

all the same rights except not to marry?

[Hepburn]

17. Except for family weddings, I would not go because....

...separate, but equal, is inherently unequal. If that simple truth applies to education, then it sure as shit applies to something as important as marriage.

BTW: I refused to join the HOA where I live cuz the secretary of the HOA had a YES ON 8 poster on her lawn. Fuck them. They wanted a legal opinion and some other shit from me? Ummmmmm....no...not with a fucking homophobe on the board.

I am really, really not very friendly or kind to anyone who is anit-gay in any manner.

[closeupready]

30. That would be okay only if they felt civil unions should be the ONLY state-recognized relationship

whether homo or hetero.

[timeforpeace]

12. I wouldn't know what they felt about the issue, that's their business, but I wouldn't go anyway.

[stray cat]

13. yes - I will attend the marriage of friends and family even if I disagree with them on an issue

I even voted for a president who is in favor of civil unions.

[walkaway]

14. I honestly don't have any friends or family who are against full and...

total equal rights for anyone. We have a big extended family with gays and lesbians in every generation. My Aunt Liddy and her wife Anne were married by their Unitarian minister in my back yard.

I have had ex-friends who became fundies but as soon as their minds began to close our friendship began to wane. It's too bad because they had some good qualities and could be very kind (except to Gay people, Muslims and Liberals).

The question is...would they have come to Liddy and Annie's wedding if I asked them?

[MichaelHarris]

15. No and

just last week refused. My wife's friends, bigoted mutha fuggas.

[Hepburn]

16. Unless the couple was immediate family....

...no, I would not go.

If they were immediate family, I would go and put in an appearance and that would be about it. I most likely would not be close to them even tho they are relatives, but I really would like to go to see the rest of my family and enjoy time with them.

Not real sure on the above ~~ because there is no one at this time in my family that is a POS homophobe.

[LisaL]

18. Yes. People are entitled to their opinion.

And it is not going to bother me if their opinion is different from mine.

[ZombieHorde]

19. All my friends support gay marriage, but not everyone in my family.

I would go to a family event, such as a wedding, even if they were the political polar opposite of myself.

[NMMNG]

20. No

I don't have friends like that. Furthermore why should I recognize and affirm their marriage if they wouldn't do the same for me?

[Forkboy]

21. Nope

[Blue-Jay]

22. I've never asked that of a bride & groom prior to a wedding.

If it's the marriage of a close relative or friend, I'll attend if I'm able.

If it's a distant acquaintance/relative, and I'm aware of their negative views on same-sex marriage in advance, then I'd probably pass it up.

It's just not something I'd ask about to be honest. When I'm invited to a wedding, I don't send the couple a questionnaire before I decide to attend.

[WVRICK13]

74. Bingo

You hit the nail on the head. I probably wouldn't know their feelings. Then again, if they invited me they invited my same sex partner of 20 years so they probably wouldn't be opposed to my getting married, having a civil union; or whatever you want to call it. Frankly, I may be close minded but I do not associate closely enough with bigots to be invited to their wedding. Everyone I know is pretty open about their stands on social and political issues, including family.

[johnnie]

24. No

I only support the marriages of those people who think like I do.

[Stevenmarc]

25. It would be brave of them to invite me because I would make it my mission to outshine the bride

[kevinbgoode]

26. OMG....Bridezilla!

eom/

[Turbineguy]

27. A difficult question

I suppose it would depend on who made the wedding cake.

[quaker bill]

28. It is unlikely

that I would ever be invited as I am not close to people of such persuasions. However, in the unlikely event, I do not believe I would carry political protest this far, unless the couple had some meaningful and significant role in enacting or enforcing such policy, in which case protest would be obligatory.

[RobinA]

29. Of Course!

They are my friends or family. I don't send around questionaires on beliefs before responding to wedding invites. I've even eaten at the same table with people who voted for Bush. And bought them Christmas presents.

[closeupready]

34. Sounds good, until you consider whether THEY would attend a gay wedding.

In other words, if I as a gay man invited those same bigots to my wedding, they would probably decline to attend. So I hardly feel obligated to go out of my way to share their own 'special days' with them.

[marimour]

47. i totally support you not going

You have the right to expect your "friends" who want you to be there for their big day to be there for your big day, so I wouldn't go to a those marriages if I were in your position either.

[kctim]

76. Same here!

Its childish to dislike someone simply because of their beliefs.

[Kaleva]

31. Yes

I'd be one lonely person if I cut out everyone who didn't agree with me on all issues.

[cherokeeprogressive]

32. As the father of a gay teenager, I have to say that

I'd attend any function where the dinner and drinks were free of charge.

That said, I totally understand the reticence to attend a function where the Bride and Groom were outspoken about their beliefs concerning marriage, if they were also of the opinion that being gay was a lifestyle choice. In that instance, I wouldn't attend the wedding, but I'd go to the reception for the free food and booze, and I'd put an empty envelope in the gift basket.

[Jackeens]

33. If they were 'friends', no. But family?

That's so hard to say (I generally avoid weddings any way, I hate them with a passion). Many in my family are racist, misogynist and/or homophobic - one in particular is all three, but I disowned him a long time ago (for these and many other reasons). I just don't know - would you, say, turn your back on your 80-year-old father/mother if he/she held views you found offensive. I'd probably say no. But, yes, it's a difficult one.

[closeupready]

35. Actually, gay ppl. do sometimes disown their own families, even their 80-year-old fathers/mothers.

It does happen. For sometimes very good reasons. Is that one of them? I guess it depends upon a lot of things.

[Jackeens]

39. Well

if I was gay and my parents - 80-year-olds or not - refused to accept me for what I was I'd reject them too, no question. I wouldn't think twice about it.

[WVRICK13]

60. I Am Constantly Amazed

at how age makes a persons faults acceptable. A worker in my office, bitches about giving assistance to young unwed mothers with drug and/or alcohol problems but when senior citizens who spent their lives high and/or drunk come in for assistance she calls them poor old souls. Holy shit they are the same people she hated 15 years before and age didn't somehow make them saints. An ass is an ass at any age.

[Brooklyns_Finest]

37. Sure I would

I have work friends, people I play softball and basketball with, church friends, military buddies, etc. I am sure they all have differences of opinions on all political subjects. I don't go around asking their opinions on marriage, immigration, guns, etc. They are my friends for other reasons.

Three of my close coworkers voted yes on prop 8, I voted no and told them so. Outside of that issue we get along quite well. I also consider them good people and good friends.

[demosincebirth]

43. Same here!

[rucky]

38. I suppose. But they're getting a fucking toaster.

[KittyWampus]

40. Can't say for sure. Depends on who couple was, their relation to me

how outspoken they were about their problems with gay couples etc

[Retired AF Dem]

41. I have never been to a wedding except my own back in 1977

I believe that since we live in a free country people are entitled to their opinions whether we agree with those opinions or not. That is the liberal thing to do.

[Better Believe It]

42. If it was family of course I would.

[verges]

44. Is it an open bar or cash bar? nt

[marimour]

45. yes. I'll probably be the bridesmaid of my ultra religious high school friend.

Being Baptist I probably wouldn't be able to go to any family or family friends' weddings if that were a condition. Thankfully they aren't the fundie types to try to save gay people. They mostly just go out of their way pretending that our acquantiances who are obviously gay are straight. Doesn't affect my views on the issue though.

[flvegan]

46. I'm another one that doesn't have friends like that.

And never will.

[jmm]

48. I doubt I'd be invited but if I was

I could give a pretty awesome toast in honor of the same sex couples who can't marry. Nobody who knows me would put something like that past me so I'm sure my invite would get lost in the mail.

[Synicus Maximus]

49. Absolutely

If they were close enough to invite me, it would be to celebrate their marriage not their political views.

[Lisa0825]

50. I no longer have any friends of that political persuasion.

"Moral issues" are the most important political issues to me because they generally involve conservatives trying to keep others from having rights. In the past several years, I found it too difficult to be friends with people who think I am morally repugnant for my beliefs, so I basically cut them off and pursued friendships with those with beliefs like mine. So, not only would I not attend such a wedding, but I can't even see myself being invited to one, and that suits me just fine.

And FWIW, I don't have much family, so that doesn't pose a dilemma.

[donco6]

51. No.

But then I'm pretty much past the Wedding Wave in my life.

[tabbycat31]

52. I was just IN the wedding of a Mitt Romney campaign worker

of course he is now my brother in law so it's not like i had a choice not to go.

If I was close enough to the couple or they were family, yes.

[Maru Kitteh]

53. It would be very odd for a couple to broadcast any kind of bigotry as a part of their celebrations

don't you think? If I know anyone who is against equal marriage rights, they certainly haven't told me about it. If a couple made an obnoxious announcement about their prejudice, there's no way I would go. If they disclosed it to me quietly in private conversation, I would query them further about the matter and even still, probably not go. I could only see going if they stated clearly that they would never work against marriage equality and they just seemed sheltered and misguided as opposed to actually hateful.

[Toasterlad]

54. No.

[tomm2thumbs]

55. only if I slept with the groom at his bachelor party

surely I jest

I wouldn't go but I imagine I wouldn't say why nor hint at it - if someone feels that way, there is probably little chance of changing that view with a few words.
Like the old saying goes 'Never try to teach a pig how to sing. It only wastes your time and annoys the pig.'

[Iggo]

56. Of course not.

[pyoom]

57. No. I only associate with, befriend, or wish well for those who share my beliefs. nt

[Ex Lurker]

58. How would I know?

I'm hard pressed to think of one acquaintance who I know where they stand on the issue. It doesn't come up in ordinary conversation.

[cbdo2007]

61. every day everyone supports people with different beliefs than theirs.

So why would that be any different? I'm sure you financially support people all the time with different beliefs than yours every time you go to the store or use a product or service, so just suck it up and go.

Besides, the more time they spend with you, and if you bring a partner with both of you, the more liklihood they'll realize you're just like they are and the closer you'll get to changing their minds.

[cliffordu]

63. No I would not. I don't associate with anyone against gay marriage.

Could be that people I do business with on occasion are against it, but if I learned they were, I would not deal with them again.

Same thing with racists.,

[BeeBee]

64. I'm dealing with a similar situation right now.

Background: My husband and I have been together for 18 years, legally married in California for one year. We are raising his 16 year old cousin. Everyone on all sides of the family know we're together and are raising a child.

Last week we received a wedding invitation from the daughter of another cousin addressed only to my husband. This wing of the family is evangelical. He says he'll send a gift. I took it as a slight against me and the child we are raising. I would not attend, I would not send a gift, and I would let them know how hurt I was.

[fishwax]

65. not likely, though I'm not sure I would know their thoughts on gay marriage

unless they put it on the invitation or some such thing--none of my friends (at least, none of those close enough that I would likely attend their wedding) oppose marriage equality. I have a few family members who might, but we haven't discussed the subject specifically, and they're unlikely to get married anyway. So I guess I would say it would be very unlikely that I would have the opportunity to decline such an invitation.

My grandmother was married again a couple of years ago (she'd been widowed), and both she and her husband are Catholics, so I suppose they are probably opposed to marriage equality, but I don't know for sure. I went to the wedding, though.

[votingupstart]

66. yes - i would also attend a funeral for a friend who had a similar belief

i am not commenting on their beliefs just celebrating (or morning) the event

[aikoaiko]

67. Yes, I can disagree with friends on significant issues and still be a part of their lives

And I wouldn't begrudge any friend who wouldn't attend.

[LWolf]

68. I wouldn't ask a bride or groom

their political opinions before I decided to attend their wedding.

I didn't attend the last wedding I was invited to; a colleague at work.

It had nothing to do with her politics, which I never spoke to her about. I just didn't want to give up a day off for something I wasn't really interested in.

[HillWilliam]

71. Hell, no

If they don't support marriage for me, why should I support marriage for them?

[kitty1]

72. Depends on whether there's free booze n/t

[Lyric]

75. No, just like I wouldn't attend a wedding if the bride and groom

thought that interracial marriage was wrong, that wife-beating was right, that animal abuse was okay, or if they were part of the Birther crowd of right-wing nuts. Not even if they were family.

It's one thing to have different opinions. It's another thing entirely to associate with rabid bigots, and lend credibility to their views by pretending that the bigotry isn't important enough to merit my absence.

[DarbyUSMC]

77. What the heck? Does a questionnaire get sent back with the RSVP (marked maybe) before

one accepts a wedding invitation? The bride and groom answer various questions and then we'll see. I believe (and this is just me speaking for me) that there are millions of people out there in the real world who not only aren't registered to vote and belong to no political party, but have no opinions on issues that have nothing to do with them.

The coffee's on; come on in and sit a spell. Oh, wait, let me see your credentials; you may not be worthy to sit at my table.

I heard once that there was room for everyone in this world.



I heard once that there was room for everyone in this world.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oeIui29QWKg