Is anyone here with an SO of the opposite political persuasion?

[Nica-Libre]

If so, how do you do it?

[WritingIsMyReligion]

1. I'd like to know, as well.

He'd have to be damned beautiful for me to even consider. :D

Welcome to DU, by the way. :hi:

[Nica-Libre]

4. thanks for the welcome,

but tell me you wouldn't tolerate an opposing political view because of a pretty face. What would it really take? Would you do it? Could you do it?

[WritingIsMyReligion]

7. Oh, I probably wouldn't.

If I were to love a conservative, especially a neocon, however, he would have to be absolute divine perfection and a god in bed. And I'd have to care very little about my self respect.

See? It's already not going to happen. :P

[Name removed]

2. Deleted sub-thread

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[President Kerry]

3. usually in the bedroom, sometimes in the car..

kidding.. speaking for myself, it'd be impossible for me to be with a conservative chick.

[Nica-Libre]

5. why not?

[President Kerry]

9. because we'd have nothing in common

[Nica-Libre]

16. So you are saying that your entire ethos -

everything you believe in and everything that you are is completely with regard to politics? No exceptions?

[President Kerry]

41. you're right, there are exceptions to everything.

I just think it's unlikely. Politics defines your basic philosophy in life - the sense of right and wrong. If those are different in a couple, it's not easy to reconcile.

[HCE SuiGeneris]

6. I had one until recently.

The antipathy of my SO to politics was quite disturbing. Even worse was the realization of an affinity towards the chimperor.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

13. Oh my. That would just about kill it for me.

It's hard enough having friends who can be dickheads sometimes about "dirty hippies"--and they aren't even particularly conservative, just being dickheaded thoughtless "rebellious" teenagers as we all can be.

[HCE SuiGeneris]

29. From Kentucky. More about an ingrained

acceptance than an understanding of political viewpoints. I guess what I'm saying is... brainwashed. Very sad.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

38. It IS sad.

:(

[Subdivisions]

8. Yes...

I'm very interested in politics and...

she's not.

[mike_c]

10. my ex and I had different politics, not necessarily opposite...

...but certainly different. Our eventual split had nothing to do with that. We simply learned to be respectful of one another's differences. It's not that difficult if the rest of the relationship is good. If it's not, then political differences are just another straw on the camel's back.

[Sparkly]

11. Definitely not!!! I couldn't stand it. nt

[hang a left]

12. It is very hard!

Right now he is living in our motor home.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

15. Just out of curiosity, what makes you stay with him?

I always wonder at how people of opposite political persuasions stay together beyond the political divide. What do you talk about? Does he ever make you feel dirty or surprised at his views?

[hang a left]

49. Sorry, so late.

I am arguing in other threads..lol.

Well, he has a bunch of good traits

He adores my youngest boy

He supports us unconditionally with lots of extras.

He lets me stay home and not have to work

He lets me rule for the most part

*We have other issues non-related to politics*

So, I guess I was dishonest regarding his dog-house living conditions

However, he always wants to argue, and the things I feel most passionate about he takes the opposite position; sometimes I feel just to fight.

He knows how strongly I feel about politics and child rearing yet those are the things we fight about the most

He hates me being on DU. HE HATES DU and feels like the subjects we approach on an daily basis have taken me away from him

Wow, I just exposed a lot to you.

[mondo joe]

14. No, and I couldn't be with a spouse whose values are the OPPOSITE of mine.

I don't understand how anyone could be in a real partnership in that context.

[Nica-Libre]

19. So Mary Matlin and James Carville should break up?

:)

[arcos]

23. They're both snakes, it doesn't matter in that case...

:P

[Nica-Libre]

30. yes, but they are extremely entertaining snakes.

It's like having Ann Coulter mud wrestle Al Franken. You know who you want to win, but you aren't quite sure who is going to win.

[mondo joe]

25. I don't care what they do, and I don't generally tell others who they SHOULD break up with.

Why would I?

[NoodleBoy]

17. I dated someone (sort of) of the opposite political persuasion for three years

Really, she was a moderate, but being the person that she was, she would disagree just to disagree. I eventually got her to admit one day that the reason she'd keep disagreeing with me on things was because she believed I was just trying to make myself look smart and her look stupid. This, from me saying, basically, "this war sucks," "that's unconstitutional," or "that's a racist policy."

I eventually got to the point where I'd randomly bring up something really racist, sexist, or homophobic a conservative said, just to watch her try to disagree with me but also not look like a bigot.

So many headaches were cleared up when I finally got my shit together and broke up with her.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

20. That sounds like a massive headache.

:crazy:

[Can o Beans]

18. I am married to a Bushie...

And her parents should be named Rush and Ann.

We just don't talk politics at all, and everything is cool.

[Nica-Libre]

22. *snerk*

I think I know what you mean. ;)

[WritingIsMyReligion]

24. See, for me personally, not talking politics is like not talking anything.

So many things in my life go back to some deep political thing, not that politics are necessarily deep. Or go back not necessarily to politics but to beliefs and values, which for me are inherently tied into the political scene, even if that's extremely idealistic of me.

[Can o Beans]

27. I know what you mean

But I just talk about that stuff to my friends.

Though occasionally, as of late, I've been dropping a little dig here and there. And I bought jumpers for our new twin babies that say "Already Smarter than Bush," from CafePress.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

34. I personally would find it hard to not talk about that to my SO.

If it works for you, however, then I am very impressed indeed. ;)

LOL at the jumpers. What will she do? :rofl:

[mondo joe]

32. There you go. My politics reflect my values and beliefs. How could I be with someone

in a meaningful relationship with someone whose values are the opposite of mine?

[WritingIsMyReligion]

36. Yes, that's how I feel, as well.

How can I love somebody who sees me as his maid, no matter how "kind" he is about it? How can I love somebody who laughs at the idea of welfare, of women working, of gay equality, of treating people honestly, of peace? How can I love somebody who sees art and music as "superfluous" to society, who does not grasp the art of satire, who does not at least admire the talents of jazz and many rock musicians?

[orleans]

21. in answer to your question:

"Is anyone here with an SO of the opposite political persuasion?"

absolutely not.

[Nica-Libre]

26. Don't be too quick to dismiss it.

It can make you think long and hard about why you believe what you believe - when there isn't the complete and utter validation, you really have to be solid in your thoughts and your reasons and be on your toes at all times.

[NoodleBoy]

33. wrong post

[Nica-Libre]

35. I feel your pain.

I'm so against US meddlement in south/central american affairs and my SO was there in the military. It's hard to argue those points with someone when you know in your heart that they need to believe in their mission.

[orleans]

53. why should i not be too quick to dismiss it? i am solid in my

thoughts and my reasons. i can hardly stomach these people socially. why the hell would i want to be intimately involved with one of them? my home is my sanctuary.

[Gen. Jack D. Ripper]

28. I couldn't do it. A-political, maybe n/t

[rainy]

31. My husband is a white business man. He works hard to keep us

fed etc... etc... He doesn't read beyond the local newspaper. He is very bright and he agrees with me on many things. He dislikes GW very much. I do think he voted for him once though. However, he mostly identifies with the republicans. Before 911 I was busy raising the kids and I was not very political. Oh boy, though, after 911. I vowed to never get caught off guard again. I began to research everything. I became quite obnoxious and annoying to everyone because the stuff I was learning was so outrageous and i knew that most people didn't know because it was info that the media never talked about. If one only watches the tv and reads the local newspaper they would never really know what is going on. So it was pretty rough for a while. My husband had a hard time with me for some time.

I calmed down some, but he knows that I know more than most people and he sees my point most often. He just doesn't have the time to read what I read and it would complicate his life as he is trying to run a company that many livelihoods are dependant on including his own.

[Jackpine Radical]

37. Well, my wife belongs to the other party.

She's a Trotskyite, while I, of course, follow Bakunin.

[merh]

39. Sorry Nica that I suggested you give DU a try.

I had forgotten that folks are so comfortable here with their progresssive selves that they reject others that don't parrot what they say.

Relative to your question, respecting your SO's life's experiences helps and you know that.

There are reasons why we all develope our beliefs, some just adopt the consensus, comfortable with the belief that our government will never do a thing to harm the citizens and will do everything to protect them. They are not the political junkies that most who post on DU are.

Your SO may have been adversely affected by policies of the last admin, he may have been surrounded by folks of a similiar mindset and would rather believe in the goodness of the USofA and its leaders than to believe in the harm that they are causing.

Loving someone is accepting them for who they are and loving them despite their perceived flaws. Does he respect you and allow you your beliefs or does he try to change you? You won't find answers to your questions here, you will only find them in your heart and through your experiences.

Please forgive the rudeness of those that assume post count equates to loyalty to the cause. They may want an echo chamber and that's okay, I guess. Personally, I prefer an new infusion of thoughts and perspective.

:hi:

[Nica-Libre]

40. I was just trying to find people who may be having similar

experiences to my own. I didn't realize that dating outside of my political persuasion was the equivalent to dating outside of my race during Jim Crowe.

Thanks for the words of encouragement, as always. :hi:

[merh]

44. There are plenty of folks that have successful relationships

with folks that don't share their political views. I had dear friends that held elected offices, he was a dem and she was a repub. They raised a beautiful family and had great fun poking fun at each other's politics.

[Alexander]

50. That's not it at all. You are being dishonest.

In my example, if you read below, the Republican SO I was with had a moral clock that was seriously whacked.

Not just because she was a holier-than-thou-Christian-conservative Republican (although admiring Berlusconi, given his pro-Mussolini comments, is kind of scary), but because after having the gall to accuse me of cheating on her, which I had many opportunities to do and didn't, out of respect for her, *she* instead *cheated* on me.

That had absolutely nothing to do with politics, and left a bad taste in my mouth for a while. It's not the party label, it's the moral compass. And not always, but often, members of the far right wing are so far gone that they are literally using morality to justify immorality.

I'm not a liberal because I'm a Democrat. I'm a liberal because I give a shit about other people and want to make their time on this earth easier. As of right now the Democratic Party is the most pragmatic liberal-leaning party in the United States, so I'm a member.

I love disagreement. I don't want a clone of myself - that's boring. I have many liberal, moderate and even conservative friends and family members, and we are able to agree and disagree cordially and even find common ground. We come up with new ideas from this common ground, and it's a very creative discussion process.

But I have no time for people who just don't care about their fellow humans, people who have no problem hurting others or stepping on other people's toes for their own gain. Often those people, if they vote, vote for others who don't give a shit - who tend to be conservatives and, right now, Republicans.

I also don't have time for uncurious people - people who just don't want to know stuff and think about things. That is also the total opposite of me, and my values. My ex was everything that I am not, and while her party registration didn't bother me, the rest of her behavior and attitude bothered me a great deal.

Making blanket generalizations is not right, no matter who does it. Before you accuse others, take a look at yourself.

[merh]

51. And not all republicans fit the stereotypes as found in your

post. You are the one that has generalized and condemned others, not me.

As I have said, I have family on the other side, I don't agree with them, but I don't loathe them either.

edited to add: My post was very honest. If you don't like my view of the truth, that is okay. It is not okay that you accuse me of being dishonest when I post an opinion that you don't agree with.

[JI7]

42. i find it to be an instant turnoff if a guy is a conservative

i can't think of any time i have been attracted to a conservative guy.

[alarimer]

43. I won't do it, no matter how good-looking or rich

well I'd use them for sex or fun but I could not possible consider them for a long-term relationship. Anyone who still votes Republican after six years of this is obviously really stupid and therefore, not worth my time or attention.

[Sapphocrat]

45. Hard to say...

...since I'm an out and proud homopolitical. I'd guess the way bipoliticals do it isn't all that different.

[Gen. Jack D. Ripper]

46. I notice you keep bringing up respect

but, I can respect someone, even and especially someone I don't agree with politically, and still not be compatable with that person. And what can affect personality, and therefore compatibility, more than a persons closely held ideals? Also, we live in a politically polarized society, with deep rooted loyalties. Basically, we just tend to get along better with people we agree with, even if we are capable of respecting those we don't.

[Greyhound]

47. Dated a bunch of them but couldn't ever get past the brainwashing,

the selfishness, the callous disregard for other people. So, I guess the answer is no.

[Alexander]

48. Can I respect people who don't respect other people? Hmm...let me think...

To answer your question, yeah, I dated a Republican who also liked Silvio Berlusconi.

Not kidding. This was maybe 3 years ago. She was registered Republican, and I a Democrat. She was a Business major. Maybe still is. I don't talk to her anymore.

She took Italian, which is how she knew about Berlusconi, but I don't know what she heard, because she really liked him - even after I pointed out statements where he said he admired Mussolini. She wasn't Italian at all, or of Italian descent even, so I found that kind of strange.

She was from Tucson, and a hardcore Catholic, and otherwise really conservative - but oddly she was a vegetarian. I wasn't then, and I am now, but I guess that was her one liberal trait that was cool. She claimed she believed in God and values and all that stuff. I told her of my atheist leanings, and she said I was nuts.

The best part was the sex - we didn't really talk about a great deal, as she wasn't very well-informed, but what's worse, she was uncurious. She just didn't want to learn anything, and disliked the idea of being educated.

Now that just blows my mind; I just can't understand people like that. I've always wanted to know stuff, learn things and think about them as well. After all, it's not the muscles that separate us from the chimps.

She later on made a weird comment about this other student, suggesting she thought I was going to run off with someone else.

It gets better, though.

She cheated on me.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I think she became president of a sorority last I heard. Which is even more hilarious, because I once half-jokingly told her she looked like a sorority girl once.

Yeah, I'm not doing that again.

[cgrindley]

52. My wife is just a regular democrat so it's tense

at times, but we manage.

[Name removed]

54. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Jonathan50]

55. My family is not conservative..

But they avoid talking politics with me like I'm radioactive..

Mostly because when their "opinions" conflict with the facts I'm not one to let it go.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, they are not entitled to their own facts.

[Sammy Pepys]

56. My wife is conservative...

...and I love her too much for words.

There are more important things in life than politics.