Sonny and Cher's child transitioning from female to male

[Liberal_in_LA]

http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/06/11/ent.chastity.bono/index.html

Sonny and Cher's child transitioning from female to male
Chastity Bono transitioning to male, will be known as Chaz

Bono is longtime gay-rights activist

"Transitioning" is either social or medical transition, how person wants to be viewed

(CNN) -- Chastity Bono, gay-rights activist and child of performer Cher and the late entertainer and politician Sonny Bono, is in the early stages of transitioning from a female to a male and will be known as Chaz, his spokesman said Thursday.

Activist Chastity Bono is transitioning from female to male and will be known as Chaz.

"Chaz, after many years of consideration, has made the courageous decision to honor his true identity," Howard Bragman said in a written statement.

"He is proud of his decision and grateful for the support and respect that has already been shown by his loved ones. It is Chaz's hope that his choice to transition will open the hearts and minds of the public regarding this issue, just as his 'coming out' did nearly 20 years ago."

Someone's decision to transition does not necessarily mean they are undergoing gender reassignment surgery, and in many cases they do not, said Mara Keisling, executive director of the Washington-based National Center for Transgender Equality.

[liberalmuse]

1. She will be considered better looking as a male...

than she is as a female, though she's still pretty. I don't know WTF I'm typing anymore. Good for her/soon-to-be-him. I like the name,'Chaz'. Not that it matters what I think.

[enlightenment]

5. Just as an FYI (speaking as the parent of a trans child)

Once the decision has been made, it is polite to refer to the individual by their gender of choice. Chaz is a 'he' unless he prefers a gender-neutral pronoun until his transition is complete.

Please know that I am not criticising you - I've learned a lesson or two in the last 10 years, is all, and it can be a minefield as a conversation topic.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

8. Besides, it makes transgender folks so happy!

It's a little thing, but just using the pronoun they prefer shows respect for them as an individual.

[eridani]

47. And it's really hard. If you've known someone as a woman far longer than you have known her

--as a man, the wrong pronoun just keeps slipping out. The only cure, I think, is knowing her that long as a woman.

[enlightenment]

55. It is hard.

After a decade of practice with my son, I'm pretty good at not slipping - unless I'm talking about him as a child.

It's still confusing to me. Do I refer to the child I had at that point as 'she'? To all intents and purposes, that's what 'she' was growing up. I didn't have the luxury of having my five-year old tell me that they didn't 'feel right in their body' - he didn't make the decision until he was 19.

It's also tough on another level - because although I have a son who I love, respect, admire, feel enormous pride in, and like a great deal as a person . . . I lost my daughter. It's a sort of death, because that person no longer exists in body, mind, name - nothing. At the same time, though, my son is fundamentally the same person - likes, dislikes, core personality.

I try not to think about that part too much and I'm just now getting to the point that I can look at pictures of when he (she?) was little and not grieve for the daughter I no longer have - or the fact that I have no pictures of my son as a child.

And, yeah, I know none of that made sense . . . maybe one day I'll get it all sorted. In the meantime, I have a great kid - regardless of gender - and I'm a lucky mom.

I hope Cher realizes how lucky she is to have a great kid (I suspect she does) and I wish her the best in coming to terms with Chaz's decision. She is also 'losing' her only daughter and it's tough to wrap your head around that - no matter how willing you are to accept it.

[tavalon]

48. I'm glad he's changing his name

I have known a number of transgender folks through the years and have been really good about pronouns except for in one case. He became she but kept her gender neutral name the same. I knew her as him for many years before and screwed up the pronoun many times.

[ChazII]

24. Chaz is a good name. n/t

[mitchtv]

27. He will have a half brother Chez

Ceasare' Bono (sp)

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

30. You should refer to him with male pronouns

[bluedawg12]

35. I think his fame will help people who care to understand a little more.

"It is Chaz's hope that his choice to transition will open the hearts and minds of the public regarding this issue, just as his 'coming out' did nearly 20 years ago... Keisling said she was unaware of the specifics in Bono's case, but speaking generally, a transition means that he will now want to be "known, seen, viewed" as a male."

[MinneapolisMatt]

2. Good for him!

Cool!!!

[Ernesto]

3. really...........

who gives a f**k

[FreeState]

9. I do

Transgendered Americans are often ignored and face some of the worse discrimination this country has to offer. I think its great that someone as high profile as Chaz is living his life honestly and with the hope of helping other Americans and citizens of the world be kinder and gentler when dealing with all people.

[ronnykmarshall]

16. I do too.

I'm very happy for Chaz.

[LostinVA]

49. +1

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

10. Every transgender person in the US, I would think

Having a high profile person like Chaz helps educate the general public about what it means to be transgender--and they see that transgender people are people, not monsters.

[KittyWampus]

13. Maybe other people who are on the cusp of "transitioning" or agonizing over whether to do it?

[ellie]

51. I do.

Everyone knows who Chastity Bono is and her decision is newsworthy because of the nature of the decision and her fame. Good for him and I wish him the best!

[symbolman]

54. I do

Been thinking of becoming a "Spork"...

[maxsolomon]

4. good luck

you'll need it - being male won't everything.

but you already look like my friend phil.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

6. He will have an easier time of it than most transgender folks, I fear

We had a patient at our clinic who is starting going from male to female. She almost cried because we treated her like a person, with respect and dignity. She is very poor and has to fight the prejudice of the community. She couldn't get a ride to our clinic, so my husband picked her up. We were concerned about her walking back to town (our clinic is some miles out) and so my co-worker drove her back. When my co-worker came back, she said, "Why in the world can't people let other people live in peace and appreciate them for who they truly are? A good question, I think.

[tblue]

14. Angels!

You and hubby and co-worker were doing the work of angels.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

19. I was touched by her plight

She was a very nice person, and was so happy to find that we here at the clinic were all understanding.

[madaboutharry]

7. I hope he will be happy, because frankly

whenever I saw Chasity on t.v or in some magazine, I always that she looked like a depressed person.

I don't like the name Chaz. I think it sounds like a name someone would give to a poodle. But, hey....whatever.

[tblue]

11. You've come a long way, baby!

http://lh6.ggpht.com/_Lvq1G-hR9Gc/RuinOixTVSI/AAAAAAAABTM/fyOuK3SZRTk/cher+bono+with+chastity.JPG
Whatever makes you happy, Chaz! I wish you all the best.

[ContinentalOp]

12. Wow, I don't see any resemblance to either parent!

I guess I can see a LITTLE bit of Sonny. And Chastity? Really? How unfortunate. Chaz is a serious name upgrade!

[salin]

17. I see her mother

in the eyes and in the smile. I congratulate him on his courage to do this so pubically. Peace to Chaz.

[undeterred]

20. I don't see any resemblance at all.

But hopefully she/he has known family acceptance.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

29. It's he

He identifies as male. She/he is incredibly offensive and transphobic.

[bluedawg12]

33. The article calls Chaz "he," it's a good lead to follow. Agree. n/t

[undeterred]

40. That point has been made

(and without the faux outrage) by other posters in this thread.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

57. Faux outrage?

Sorry, but it's extremely offensive. I have trans friends, and will defend them to the death.

[undeterred]

58. Even when nobody intends to offend

you insist on taking offense. If you had a dollar for every time you take offense here at DU, you could bail out the economy.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

59. All I did was point out that you were using offensive/bigoted language

Even if you didn't intend to offend, you used offensive language. I pointed out why it was wrong to say she/he. Instead of apologizing and moving on, you decided to start in with personal attacks on me.

Obviously, you simply don't like me for some reason, which is weird, because I've never done anything to you.

[undeterred]

62. All I said was

"But hopefully she/he has known family acceptance" and you managed to find a reason to be outraged and offended at that. If you are able to understand content and context you would be able to reason that I meant no offense.

Another poster graciously explained how a person undergoing a sex change prefers being referred to, since many people have not known someone in that situation. No offense was taken, since none was meant.

But you love to take offense and scold as often as possible. Obviously you do it so often you can't even keep track.

[JerseygirlCT]

15. That's got to be hard. I wish him luck! nt

[peacefreak]

18. I always got the feeling there was deep sorrow there.

I hope he finds peace & happiness with his choice. He deserves nothing less.

[defendandprotect]

21. Wow . . . if this is medical . . . tough road!!

[MrScorpio]

22. I wonder if it would include both surgical breast removal and a hormone regimen? nt

[enlightenment]

23. It is a personal choice.

Most FtM's opt for bilateral mastectomy with nipple revision (because size and placement are different in males); most also opt for hysterectomy and oophorectomy (removal of the ovaries), even though taking testosterone (called 'T') suppresses menstruation.

Some opt for genital surgery as well - my understanding is that clitoral release is most common - 'T' causes the clitoris to grow and when released from the sheath that holds it in place, it can extend up to three inches. It's also erectile tissue, like the penis, so it can - under some circumstances - perform adequately. This procedure is followed by metoidioplasty, which combines clitoral release with revision to close off the vagina and make the external genitalia look more like a scrotum and testes.
Phalloplasty (constructing a penis) is not as popular because it's hard to make a penis from scratch - it's expensive, requires multiple surgeries, and there are always issues.

[FreeState]

26. He may opt for none of the above

Transitioning doesn't have to involve surgery or hormones. There are those that just start to dress and groom themselves as traditional males do.

[ecstatic]

25. It must be kind of weird to have everyone know about it

Won't that make it a lot harder?

[Name removed]

28. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

31. It's not "possibly offensive"...it's blantantly offensive and transphobic

[bluedawg12]

34. It's offensive. n/t

[Starry Messenger]

36. One should refrain.

It's offensive.

[Fleshdancer]

32. Good for him, although.....

I imagine starting the transition would be a little scary since all life altering decisions usually are. I wonder if he feels more anxiety than others since everyone knows who he is. I hope he's given the privacy he deserves.

[Ex Lurker]

39. of course, the freepers are all over this

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2270012/posts

[Liberal_in_LA]

42. 'Maybe there is such a thing as being born in the wrong body. '

said by a freeper at the site: 'Maybe there is such a thing as being born in the wrong body. Anyway in Europe sex-change operations have been going on for years.'
:wow: Kinda opened minded for a freeper.

[Fleshdancer]

60. They question the ethics of sex changes....

but when their favorite beauty queen gets new breasts, it's totally ok. Body modification for vanity = good. Body modification for mental and emotional wellbeing = bad. Got it.

:eyes:

Chaz's decision has absolutely zero impact on their lives and yet they pretend to be so offended by it. How sad for them.

[Starry Messenger]

37. All best wishes to him.

I like the name Chaz.

[LostinVA]

50. I know "Chas" has been a nickname for CHASTITY all these years

By parents and friends, so the name is a name that Chaz is used to hearing, and others are already used to using. Brilliant!

[Withywindle]

38. Good for him!

While it shouldn't be his responsibility to educate people, it will have that effect.

I know I still have a lot to learn about trans issues, but it was so very educational when an old and dear friend of mine (who doesn't live in the same state as me anymore) started a blog about his transition. I learned a LOT - again, not his responsibility, but it benefited a lot of people besides just himself.

[Technowitch]

41. Congrats to him

and I applaud his courage and fortitude. Transitioning is never easy, and in Chaz's case it'll be made doubly more difficult with the celebrity angle.

Bravo.

[orleans]

43. he was so adorable when he was little--we always looked forward to

seeing him on the sonny&cher show.

[Oeditpus Rex]

44. 'Someone's decision to transition does not necessarily mean

they are undergoing gender reassignment surgery..."



I don't understand this part. Would someone be so kind as to explain?

[ConsAreLiars]

45. My TG kid has had the option of taking several steps.

To get gender reassignment legally recognized means getting a couple doctors or shrinks or such to write a note to the court, and maybe a further step like taking hormones. My kid did this and married his longtime girl friend officially. I'm uncertain if the hormones were necessary to get the reassignment legally recognized, but if so it was sufficient. No surgery needed. Went beyond that to do breast removal surgery. There are further procedures some might want.

He looks good and seems very comfortable in his body in contrast to the vibe I, as a parent, got during earlier years.

(edit to add a bit)

[enlightenment]

70. May I ask where he lives?

I was surprised (though in retrospect I don't know why) to discover that the 'rules' vary by state - in Colorado, bottom surgery isn't required; in Illinois it apparently is (this to get the birth certificate changed to reflect gender). In some states, they will simply modify the existing birth certificate, showing date of change - in other states they issue a brand new certificate that shows only the chosen gender.

My son is going through this at the moment, trying to get his birth certificate changed so he can get his passport. It's very confusing.

[ConsAreLiars]

73. This is in California.

As I said, I'm not sure if taking the step of hormones was legally needed or not. I do know the minimal surgery followed the legal change of gender. Traveled to Europe a couple years later and so the passport thing apparently went smoothly also. On the other hand, my son has been an GBLT activist since mid-teens, and is very well informed about resources and experts, and living in the Bay area, so finding a path through the obstacles was not hard. If your son is encountering obstacles, help him get in touch with an organization that has the expertise to help him.

If you don't know of one, and/or have other questions, post in the GBLT Forum (or here, but there's a lot of noise in GD).

Edit to add - I see from your other posts that you understand all this very well - it is the various laws that are chaotic and confusing. One reason I posted is to help others on DU realize that although gender reassignment is not commonplace, it is not all that rare - not sideshow freak stuff. Harvey Milk and Stonewall made it clear that hiding was no way to change widespread ignorance and the accompanying negativity.

[enlightenment]

74. Thanks for the information.

I appreciate it. My son moved from Colorado to Portland when he started his transition, where he was a vocal and public face of the young adult trans community. I think he'll be able to get his passport without difficulty as long as he does it somewhere other than Illinois, where he moved not long ago - it's absurd that they require bottom surgery (I'm pretty sure gender amounts to more than genitalia . . .)

Thank you for posting, too, and helping to shine a light on a little-understood topic.

[enlightenment]

56. Gender reassignment surgery refers to

'bottom' surgery, technically.

It means modifying the female genitalia to more closely resemble male genitalia (which is harder to do than the other way around, which is also hard to do, but more successful).

Some people include mastectomy and hysterectomy as part of gender reassignment surgery, though because these are surgeries often performed on women for various reasons, they don't exactly fit the definition.

He may choose to have some or none - although I would be surprised if he doesn't opt for breast removal.

He may choose to only take hormone therapy.
He may choose to only 'reassign' in name only - to live as a man in a woman's body without any alteration or hormones.

His body, his life, his choice.

[Oeditpus Rex]

61. Okay, that sort of explains it

I was really looking for a "why," as in "Why identify as one sex but retain physical characteristics of the other?" but I guess there isn't one — that is, the reasons would be as varied and individual as those who transition. And the extent of the transition is certainly their choice and should be respected.

I always figured "reassignment" meant the full monty, if you will. I didn't realize there were degrees of it. Now that I think of it, I imagine in many cases it's done in deliberate stages as one acclimates to their "new" self, and one might very well determine along the way that they're where they want to be, without going the full route.

(I knew people don't go into hospital as one sex and come out as the other, but I thought of that purely as a reasonable limitation of what can safely be done in one surgery.)

[Solly Mack]

46. I'm happy for him.

I wish him peace and love.

[marshall]

52. Will Chaz be having Dr. Marci Bowers perform any opted for surgeries?

In this day and age the next logical step would be a TLC or DiscoveryHealth reality show, or at least a special. The one they did on Dr. Bowers was interesting. I was hoping it would be a full series, but it was just a one time thing that is rerun from time to time.

[Horse with no Name]

53. I went to school with a person who had a gender reassignment surgery

He was never comfortable in a girl's body--even when we were young kids.
I hear he is happy and doing well.
I hope the same for Chaz. He has always struck me as being a haunted soul.

[dionysus]

63. how do they actually do that? I can see how they do m to f, but how do they build the guy parts...

[FreeState]

64. Its a long process - but "Transitioning" does not mean he is having surgery

Transitioning means he is living outwardly as a he. Many transgendered persons do not have surgeries.

If he does opt for surgery there are several great sites online that describe what he would undergo (warning may not be safe for work):

http://health.howstuffworks.com/gender-reassignment.htm

[dionysus]

65. okay, thanks... i wondered about how after surgery, that whole having sex thing works...

:hi:

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

66. Are you really that unimaginative?

[dionysus]

67. uh, sorry i if don't know exactly how'd they'd create a functioning penis that replicates the

sensation? i'd assume thats really complex surgery... i've read a bit on how they do male to female, but i don't know how they do it for female to male.

i can see how they could construct a memebr for urinary purposes, but how they'd rig the nerves and stuff for sex is beyond my understanding.

sorry if that offends you!

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

68. It is...that's why most FTMs don't get bottom surgery

But you don't need a biological penis to have sex.

[dionysus]

69. well i know that!!! i was talking about if surgery was done, silly!

;)
on edit, this post number is apropos...
:rofl:

[enlightenment]

72. There are methods - some more successful than others.

My understanding (from talking to my son) is that most fTm's choose metoidioplasty, which releases the clitoris from the surrounding tissue (the hood), closes the vagina, and creates a version of scrotum and testes out of the outer labia. Sometimes, the inner labia can be used to augment the clitoris to give it additional girth and sometimes they can reroute the urethra to allow urination.

Since it is erectile tissue, it's loaded with nerve endings and is very sensitive . . . but even the larger ones (and they can grow up to three inches or so after the person starts testosterone) aren't going to be fully functional in the sense of typical penetrative coitus.

Phalloplasty (literally creating a penis) is much more iffish and the results are not very satisfactory.

This is a very good explanation of all the different surgeries:
http://www.ftmguide.org/grs.html

You can also google images for the terms (phalloplasty and metoidioplasty) and see some results.

[Xenotime]

71. Wonderful! He is going to be so happy.

[Adenoid_Hynkel]

75. Good for Chastity

I got no problem with it.

But, even if I did,l it's none of my damn business. Or any of ours, for that matter.

I wish her happiness and the best.