Any good books/advice on office oppression and how to avoid it.

[keepthemhonest]

Any advice from people who outwitted that nasty negative person in the office who tries to make you look bad.I just can't seem to sleep tonight because of recurring incidence from miss negativity.I don't create waves but she does and maybe it's time I stopped being so passive and forgiving about everything she does and start making some waves of my own about her.Lot's of the things she does I let slide.I am not under her although she would love it if I was.She has a handful of staff that she usually tries to oppress.

[Mind_your_head]

1. Be POSITIVE.....always!

Negative types can't 'hold up' to positive peeps......

Always look for/find/extole (sp?) the "good" in other people......

[keepthemhonest]

3. Sounds like good advice thanks

I usually do try to stay positive she definately makes it challenging.I believe in Kharma so she'll get hers but she is just miserable, I try to be ncie and forgive for hings she has done and then she goes and does the next thing.I guess there is always one in every office.

[sam sarrha]

4. some people just dont have any redeeming qualities.. like V at Boeing. her evil gave her cancer an

she finally died. the world is a better place without her

[Berry Cool]

23. Please don't tell me you really think people get cancer because they are evil?

Or that they get cancer from being evil?

Because if that were really true, Cheney would be riddled with it, and Molly Ivins would still be with us.

[sam sarrha]

24. please.. dont be that stupid... being totally consumed by hate/revenge/racism/bigotry will effect

your immune system, catastrophic stress can be a triggering factor..

but that is not what i meant.. i have no doubt it was a factor. i would have settled for a car wreck.. whatever,

she was dying before our eyes, she had a morphine pump..still getting tanked up in the parking lot and come'n back in and giving us older guys hell, raving and raging.. she was mentally ill, not evil, evil as in really enjoying the suffering she dished out all day every day. it was tragic, but the end didnt come soon enough. management was scared shitless of her. she singled out older white guys.. and was relentless in her verbal abuse and threats, she got me fired, i did 2.4 times more work than anyone else with zero Sqk's. and got fired, it was so bad the KKK tried to recruit me after work one day.

she had racial/age pregidice charges brought against her 5 times, 3 times it resulted in suspension without pay, and she was rehired after completing required anger management classes. i brought charges against her twice in 3 years and won both times, then she layed me off.

her problems were decades old.. but in the end it became obcessive compulsive and totally out of control

[obliviously]

2. Times are hard now

and jobs are next to impossible to find.I would suggest that unless you are this persons supervisor you should concentrate on doing everything you can to do your job right. Asshole people like that have a tendency to cook their own goose. Avoid her and concentrate on your work.

[keepthemhonest]

5. I just keep hoping she would cook it.

She almost did cook it when they canned the executive director and she was closely tied in with him and his shenanagins.I think they needed her, she is knowledgable about her field,I'll give her that.

[obliviously]

6. Don't worry she will

her type almost always does and wouldn't it be pleasant to smile at her as she cleans out her desk.

[keepthemhonest]

7. ROFLMAO

I think I will envision that as my therapy anytime she is getting on my nerves and trying to step on toes and do a power grab.I'll just picture her having to clean out her desk.Thanks for the laugh.

[madeline_con]

8. Here's a couple of links...

Article:

Ten Tips for Dealing with Difficult Coworkers

http://www.allbusiness.com/human-resources/workforce-management-conflict-resolution/11133-1.html

Book:


Don't Sabotage Your Success! Make Office Politics Work (Paperback)

http://www.amazon.com/Dont-Sabotage-Success-Office-Politics/dp/0970214308

[keepthemhonest]

9. Thank you so much

I think I will order that book it looks good.I have to check out the article as well.

[WorseBeforeBetter]

10. Don't let her know that she's getting to you...

those types feed on that. Stay positive. Be direct and professional with her.

Document everything.

Focus on doing *outstanding* work of your own.

Make sure you're de-stressing in your time off: exercise, meditation, gardening, wild sex, bubble baths -- whatever does it for you.

[keepthemhonest]

11. Great advice...

When you say document everything.Do you mean keep a log of what she is doing?I really avoid sending emails because communication is really not my thing.I am a math and science type not a english type(hence all the typos.)

Good advice about relaxing too.

I do let her get to me I show it when I am pissed off, so I need to stop feeding her power then it sounds like.

[sam sarrha]

12. i have a Mantra.. the Four Immeasurables.. i say it a lot all the time

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ei=tOspSsXFEYSItgfj5dCwCA&sa=X&oi=spell&resnum=0&ct=result&cd=1&q=the+Four+Immeasurables..&spell=1

the Four Immeasurables
May all beings have happiness and the causes of happiness

May all beings be free of suffering and the causes of suffering

May all beings never be separated from the happiness that knows no suffering

may all beings live in Equanimity free of Anger Aversion and Grasping,
that causes us to hold some beings near and others distant


check out
Pema Chodrons CD's/books on Tonglin..

these peoples brains are not set up properly, meditation establishes the proper relationship of the brain's regions. during meditation you will acquire "Skillful Means" that you can use in these situations ..meditation will disassociate emotions from objects, concepts people, thoughts. makes life a lot easier.. the physiological chemicals produced in anger/stress/fear/hate/etc situations cause heart disease.. hardens your arteries.. doesn't take long either

she is a poor suffering hateful bitch.. your anger will not change her.. but if you pray.. to a god is not necessary/just the powers that be..you don't have to "direct" the prayer/just say it and say 'thank you'..that is important.. for her guidance out of her painful suffering, and protection until she accepts help, envision her in a bright white sphere.. then say the mantra you can help her. every time you respond negatively, or think of her. you will be surprised. especially if you know others who will also do this with you.. make it your secret between you tho..

worked many times for me.. even on my wife who took our 3 yr old son and ran off with a drug dealer and 2 nasty crack whores.. it took a couple months, she moved into her mothers house and went back to school, turned her life around... i was doing that pretty intensely too, every time i cursed her i had to bless her twice, sat the affirmation a couple times. haven't seen her since, I'm not masochistic. she did stab me 3 times.

[keepthemhonest]

13. Wow that was nice of you to share that

I will definately print this out.That is what I love about DU and its diversity and the wealth of knowledge her.Thanks thanks and my future me(the new less stressed me.)

Sorry about your child and ex situation.I hope you are doing OK.

[sam sarrha]

17. pemma has some good meditation teachings, cheap, used, on amazon, diamond mind by rob nairn is the

best meditation book, insight meditation group is really good. i like the Tibetan systems best.. stay away from NKT, SGI..

pm me if you need info.

http://www.amazon.com/Diamond-Mind-Psychology-Rob-Nairn/dp/1570627630/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1244264069&sr=8-1

http://www.amazon.com/When-Things-Fall-Apart-Difficult/dp/1570629692/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1244264142&sr=1-1
this book saved my life, i quit drinking after 26 years of hard alcoholism.. i had given up trying to quit,

http://www.amazon.com/Buddhist-Meditation-Beginners-Jack-Kornfield/dp/1591795370/ref=sr_1_8?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1244264358&sr=1-8
jack was my first real meditation teacher, through media, i lived in Texas, couldn't find any Buddhists.. i got all his audio books played them all the time.. meditated every day early morning, evening.. quit drinking.. after a couple months i ran into a Tibetan Lama, he invited me to attend a group, he was teaching.. :shrug: very strange. i attended 3 meetings a week for 5 years. before i accepted Renunciation.. i meditate standing in line at the store, while working, walking meditation is really wonderful, the dogs get into it also.

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_b?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=jack+kornfield&x=14&y=21

good luck

[keepthemhonest]

15. Ok I just had to get out of bed and

come post this to you.That while bubble thing is working instantly and I even but my boss in one too.i am so excited about this new tool you showed me.Thanks I am indebted, that is a gift that I will use the rest of my life.Ps my daughters' name is Sam.

Again,I am sorry about your child and what your ex did to you.I hope you get to see your child now.Peace yea I feel it.Thanks for that power over my anger.

[sam sarrha]

21. when she left she sent me camping with my friends.. when i got back the house was totally empty, my

car was gone, everything i owned, all i had was what i had on and in my pockets, and in a small back pack.. tools, photo lab, 4 years of intense research, my incubators, microscopes, lab ware, what one might call a "Clean Break".

it took me a couple years to get over the Bonding Trauma losing my son to bunch of Junkies.. and not being able to protect him. i just ran into the right group of people at the right time. she later married a millionaire and my son got a PhD in Engineering in England. he is very gifted. i have Aspbergers Syndrome, i have an iq of 164 but i am only functionally literate. i'm a mechanical technical Savant.. i work in Aerospace. it actually worked out for the best, i would have never been able provide him with the education he received.

i am reading a book, Change your Brain: Change Your Life by Daniel Amen MD. how meditation, and/or contemplative practices in the various religions.. restructure ,change the physical structure of the brain.. and an entirely different perceptual format arises that is totally unconditionally compassionate, spacious, encompassing, inclusive, and infinitely blissful they have used pet scans and discovered that some fundamental religions actually cause brain damage. this is really fascinating stuff, i speculated on it for nearky 20 years..

i took a job as a juvenile parole officer for 2 years, just to do a special study on meditation as a counseling tool. with unbelievable results.. kids went from dangerous and predatory to compassionate, protective of the smaller kids, tutored them.. helped them, counseled them.. the institution made me stop, it made them look bad. kids got paroled in 30-60 days after being there for years, went from straight F's to straight A's in school, zero behavior problems.

[mitchum]

14. I recommend "I Don't Give A Flying Fuck About Your Goddamn Cheese"

[keepthemhonest]

16. how about "in the white bubble you go ,numbskull" NT

[mitchum]

18. That seems to be even better :)

[Mind_your_head]

27. LOL

Frightening that I know what you are referring to.....

I had "THAT" (I Don't Give a Flying Fuck About Your Goddamn Cheese) reaction when someone tried to shove that d*mn book in my face.

Thanks (seriously)!

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

19. Be very careful.

[sam sarrha]

22. yea.. you never know who is a full blown Psychopath out there.. sniff'n around for fresh meat

[arcadian]

20. Start gaslighting her.

[BlooInBloo]

25. Talk to someone who's been in the biz for a loooong time?

About methods of dealing with a "hypothetical" person of the sort you described?

Why reinvent the wheel? Ask someone who's probably seen everything.

[anigbrowl]

26. I like 48 laws of power :-)