As a general principle: Is it up to the offended party as to what is offensive or not?

[Mike 03]

I'm beginning to accept that it really doesn't matter what I think about the rights of minority groups, other than in the sense that I want to, and can, support them if I believe in the causes to the extent they want support.

I am in no position to determine how GLBT should feel.

I am in no position to determine how African Americans should feel about various insults to them, or how they feel about the Confederate Flag issue and NASCAR

Beyond basic compassion and empathy, I just can't know. All I can do is ask: What can I do to help your cause?

[Justitia]

1. I like what you wrote. -eom

[tularetom]

2. You ask a lot of good, sensible, thought provoking questions

What the hell is the matter with you? Don't you know we'd all rather just yell at each other?

WE'RE AMERICANS DAMN IT! DON'T TRY TO MAKE US THINK.

[Demeter]

3. There are those who will be Victimized Regardless

because they want the grievance. Some people are truly mentally ill or have a personality problem. But in general, if someone who ISN'T a chronically over-sensitive, blow everything up out of proportion, hyper type takes offense, then you've probably hit the target.

You are allowed to use your own judgment, but do listen to all sides of the story. There are always more than two, by the way. And thanks for listening!

[omega minimo]

4. And today of days, you excluded women from your concept.

:thumbsdown:

[uppityperson]

10. Excluded the homeless also. And kittens.

Proving that by simply not stating every category that may be a "minority" group, one can give offense.

Sometimes people are looking at ways to take offense.

[Name removed]

11. Deleted sub-thread

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[BlooInBloo]

5. No, there's a fact of the matter...

It may well be that one side or the other is more often correct about that fact of the matter, or that the other side is completely untrustworthy, but their assessment isn't *determinative* of that fact of the matter.

[ProgressiveProfessor]

6. Very slippery slope and one we should not go down

If a shirt that says straight pride is declared offensive then gay pride ones will have to be removed as well (One school district learned the hard way on that one)

If someone gets offended at the 2nd CNJ (what most people erroneously call the Stars & Bars or the Confederate flag), how long before African nationalist material is also declared offensive. Seen that threatened in a school my daughter was attending.

The nonsense with a nooses a while back was another example of such crap. People need to grow a skin and vote with their dollars or feet as appropriate if something offends them. Its a free speech thing. If it offends the answer is more free speech, not censorship.

[Ghost in the Machine]

7. No one has a right to *not* be offended...

Some things that I find offensive may be perfectly fine with someone else, the same way that what I find to be perfectly fine may be offensive to others. Just because *I* don't like something doesn't mean I'm going to try to stop *you* from doing it....

I'm pretty much a "live and let live" kind of person. You do your thing and I'll do mine, I won't fuck with you if you don't fuck with me... it's really simple...

[VelmaD]

8. it's really quite simple...

the person in the socially dominant group/position does not get to decide for minorities what is and is not offensive.

[ProgressiveProfessor]

17. Consider what that means in terms of reprecoity in the general case

Your position is that no group can determine for another what is and is not offensive. That means white pride posters next to black pride posters OR no posters at all. School have learned this the hard way.

[Toasterlad]

26. I Don't Think The OP is Talking About Legal Applications.

I think the OP is talking about knee-jerk reactions from a privledged majority when the minority reacts unfavorably to a set-back in the fight for equal rights or the inaction on same from a supposedly pro-equality administration. Say, on a progressive message board.

I think the OP is talking about common decency.

[Occam Bandage]

9. No. That is a major factor, but you cannot simply declare

that if a person declares a thing offensive it is ipso facto offensive and must be avoided. Suppose a right-wing Christianist told me my little HRC equals-sign bumper-sticker offended him. Should I then cover it up?

[ProgressiveProfessor]

16. School have learned that the hard way

If you allow Black Pride you have to allow White Pride etc.

[petronius]

12. People are free to be offended or not offended about anything or everything

If someone tells me something is offensive, especially something that relates to my actions/statements, I will (re)consider it, however I reserve the right to decide for myself if something that offends someone else rises to to a level that requires an adjustment in my own thinking or behavior.

That said, I wouldn't argue with someone over whether they should be offended or not, and I wouldn't go out of my way to exacerbate someone else's sense of offense...

[cherokeeprogressive]

13. Perception is reality to the person perceiving it. n/t

[ProgressiveProfessor]

15. So what, There is no moral, legal, or ethical requirement that I accomodate someone's fears, phobias

sensibilities or perceptions, and I don't. In many cases I mock them.

[cherokeeprogressive]

19. Go ahead and mock me then. See if I care. n/t

[ProgressiveProfessor]

21. By making that statement vice demanding accommodation shows you are not irrational about things

and therefore have no need of mocking or correction.

I am serious about the mocking. I have had occasions over the years where my attire (with slogans), vehicle, or property caused offense. A few idiots chose to challenge me on it publicly. I tended not to take prisoners and leave them crying, raving, or otherwise out of control. One even tried to assault me. Granted its harsh, but if they come after me, I take it as an invitation to demonstrate that they are emotionally immature idiots.

[cherokeeprogressive]

24. Fair enough. n/t

[yodoobo]

14. If you have to calculate if you are offended, then you are not

Think about it this way.

If I get burned by an open flame, I don't decide that it hurt. It just does.

If I put my hand near a flame and then I have to take a poll from other people standing near if they think it hurts, then it didn't hurt because I wasn't close enough.


If you feel offended, then you are offended.

[proud2BlibKansan]

18. Yes it is

I learned that a long time ago when a very wise woman told me it didn't matter if I didn't intend to be offensive. What mattered was that the other person was offended and I should be responsible and fix it.

[ProgressiveProfessor]

22. You have no need to accomdate it, and as an educator, I would argue you should not enable such

behaviors. Granted in elementary school its different than high school and college.

[proud2BlibKansan]

23. I wasn't thinking this was a rule for kids but for all

And it has served me well.

It isn't hard at all to apologize even if you don't feel like you did anything wrong.

[ProgressiveProfessor]

25. We had problems with the perennially offended when our daughters were in HS

We were not involved, but it really elevated my disdain and disgust with the behavior. One daughter caught some flack since she expressed similar feelings and a teacher who as among those being stupid considered it disrespectful even though he was clearly factually incorrect.

[BlooInBloo]

27. I'm offended that your name starts with "p". Accomodate me, please.

[HughMoran]

20. See, now you're getting to the CRUX of the issue here on DU lately

I don't know the answer.

There are times when, as an observer, one might see where a particular group may not see how they are perceived by those who are not part of a particular group. Do you dare say anything or should you just bite your tongue?

Since the internet is anonymous, many will dare to "give advice" to groups they are not a part of. The results are not always pretty as can be seen on a daily basis here. :)

[Smith_3]

28. I would say no, not generally.

I think these things are best evaluated by someone who stands outside of the issue in question, so who is neither offender nor offended.