How does one "teach" "abstinence?"

[BOSSHOG]

[hedgehog]

1. One doesn't teach abstinance, but rather attitudes toward sex, toward your body and

toward other people's person hood from the day the baby is born.

[emilyg]

3. Yep.

[Deja Q]

9. Well said.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

2. One doesn't. One indoctrinates.

[Warpy]

4. "Do as I say, not as I do!"

And that's the reason it's never worked at all during the 6000 or so years of sex phobic, misogynistic Judeo-Christian-Islamic history.

I would rather acknowledge one of our most powerful drives and give kids the knowledge to live through early experimentation.

[dem629]

5. "Do not put THIS in THERE."

[no_hypocrisy]

6. Practice what you preach.

And put on your Scarlet Letter.

[maury is the daddy]

7. For starters, you explain the ins and outs (no pun intended)

of sexuality. Did you see Dr. Laura Berman on "Oprah" a couple of times recently? She really was right on. She mentioned how parents are so afraid to explain masturbation to their teens and yet, if a teen can take charge of their own sexuality THEMSELVES, then they have no need to find release with another person. I do disagree with her when she was advising a mother who had a curious 10-year-old girl (unbelievably smart, this kid). The doc encouraged the girl to "explore" her labial area. I have no problem with explaining what's what, but I would not TELL a child to do something. She was quite young for that.

In any case, when a teen knows how to gain sexual release without another person, that freedom allows for avoiding the risks of pregnancy and disease!

[texastoast]

19. I (consciously) knew how to do that by the time I was six

Maybe that is too much information, but babies masturbate and reach orgasm. Teens generally are, ahem, masters by that age.

These abstinence people somehow must accept that sexuality is so hardwired into our survival mechanisms that it is just ludicrous to try to suppress it. They just need to somehow get that it is something to accept and celebrate as part of being human. Once that happens, there can be a dialog about how to be responsible about it.

[nomorenomore08]

20. You won't get far here plugging Dr. Laura, even if she might have a valid point occasionally.

Just a heads-up. :shrug:

[nomorenomore08]

23. And what do you know, I was right! TS'd in 2 posts!

:)

[Obamanaut]

26. Considering the topic of the OP, I laughed all over myself when

reading your subject line. You made my day.

notes to self on edit: wear glasses when typing, use spell check every time.

[nomorenomore08]

30. Hell, I wouldn't have "plugged" her even back in the 70's!

Granted, I wasn't even an embryo yet at that point, but still... ;)

[Obamanaut]

37. I can remember (most) of the 70's, and a large portion of the 60's. nt

[Xithras]

28. I think that's a different Dr. Laura

The wench on the radio is Laura Schlessinger (spelling?). This person was referring to someone named Berman.

[Fuzz]

8. Put everyone in a Rush Limbaugh costume.

[rocktivity]

11. DUzy!

:rofl:
rocktivity

[Lex]

10. Tab A goes into Slot B. But I implore you--don't do it!

Don't!

[Dark]

12. "If your peepee touches someone's whowho, it'll shrivel, fall off and you'll get AIDS!!!11!"

Unless it's your wife's. Then, she's your property and must service you."

Is that about right?

[MountainLaurel]

16. That's just about it n/t

[nomorenomore08]

22. A masterpiece of distillation! I salute you, sir!

:patriot:

[EFerrari]

13. Learning how to withhold your reactions is a great skill

but not enough to stake your health or future on at that age.

[Johonny]

14. apparently with a new born baby on your lap

Born to you in your unmarried teenage years. Duh!

[Echo In Light]

15. Brainwash them to believe that nature/god/whatever's natural, healthy gift is EVIL!!!!!!!!

And I'm talking the sort of eee-vil that sounds really, really EVIL ...like how Dr Evil would say it

[hedgehog]

17. An alternative is to post photos of Bristol and Sarah and point out

that Levi is now connected to these people the rest of his life, and post pictures of Levi and his mother, and point out that ow Bristol must deal with these people the rest of her life!

[El Supremo]

18. "Oh! Don't dooooo that!"

[joeybee12]

21. You don't teach it...you enforce it...

...with chastity belts.

[hobbit709]

24. If the parents of the ones that want to teach abstinence

had practiced abstinence, then they wouldn't be here to bother people.

[nomorenomore08]

25. Some things simply can't be taught...

Though you can certainly wear yourself out *trying*.

[hfojvt]

27. like this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16Ur45vTtw0&feature=related

or this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvtLLuKztXg

[nomorenomore08]

33. I especially love how they tortured the word "intercourse" into rhyming with "wedding vow."

:rofl:

[Bucky]

29. Show kids porno, then say "Hey, don't yall do any of this stuff, 'kay?"

[Xithras]

31. Send the kid to a private school with the Bush & Cheney offspring.

Those legs will be shut TIGHT.

[GeorgeGist]

32. By example.

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

34. It's kinda like teaching sharks to become vegetarians or hawks to become pedestrians.

With about the same level of success.

[ladjf]

35. Abstinence can be "preached" but not "taught". nt

[Christa]

36. Love your signature

:loveya:

[hunter]

38. Changing my baby brother's diapers a few times pretty much did it for me.

There was no way I was going to risk taking care of a baby until I was good and ready.

It helped that I knew all about sex long before the hormones kicked in, my mom was not shy talking about sex, and I pretty much knew what to expect when opportunity knocked...

The first time opportunity knocked the young woman and I simply decided to have a few more beers instead of having sex, and we showed up for class shortly afterward a little disheveled but still maintaining our virginity and some small measure of our dignity. The place where we'd been pawing one another hadn't been all that private, and it would have been bad enough if someone besides us had noticed her tube top was inside out and around her waist. It was at that very moment the baby diaper klaxons went off inside my head. Aha! So this is how it happens! And it was very alarming for me that for the moment I wouldn't have cared at all if anyone had seen us having sex in the bushes. We could have been in the middle of the quad at noon and I wouldn't have cared.

Hmmm. Now that I remember, abstinence could be pretty fun...

My favorite encounter with abstinence was later on in college. There was a young woman I used to flirt around with but our relationship never went anywhere by mutual consent. Whenever we got a little hot one or the other would usually burst out laughing because it was so damned silly. We both knew we'd be the couple from hell if we ever got serious because we were both more than a little loopy. It was more fun just to go skinny dipping and stuff and not do anything that might have consequences. One day we were at a formal school function, both of us recently 21 and drinking champagne, and she brought her dad over and introduced me to him. He looked at as both, noticed how she was touching me, and he got this look on his face like he was thinking "So this is the guy who is fucking my daughter!"

His expression was so blatantly obvious my girlfriend and I both started cracking up. We'd stop, and then we'd look at one another, and then we'd be laughing again. It was blow-champagne-out-your-nose hilarious. Her dad was entirely oblivious to our private joke, and I think he decided he wasn't going to like me.

Anyways, I've always felt in full control of my sexuality and I ended my long streak of abstinence when I chose to, and never got myself into any messy sexual situations that might have ended badly for me or my partner.

[tekisui]

39. Through guilt and shame.

[hunter]

40. That's exactly what doesn't work, I think.

The teens who get into trouble know sex is something really big and overwhelming, bigger than they are even, and that most aspects of it are shameful and something to keep hidden. But they don't actually know anything about sex. And then they are pregnant, or getting someone pregnant, and sharing STDs.

The reason I was abstinent was that I knew about sex. I didn't think sex was shameful or something to be guilty about, and I wouldn't have felt the need to hide anything if by some unforeseen and probably very fun and exciting!!! circumstance I was a failure in abstinence.

I also had a very firm foundation of practical knowledge about sex that was instilled in me when I was in that wonderful Huck Finn pre-adolescent developmental stage of "Okay, now I know God Damned EVERYTHING" which occurs just before the human male brain shifts into the stage of "every other thought is about sex and Please, I beg of You Dear God, take away this boner NOW!!!"

I remember too many days in high school thinking, "Nope, I'm not getting out of the pool just yet. Yep, that's it, I'm such an awesome dude I think I'll swim a few more laps until all the girls are gone and next time I'll leave my towel a little closer to the ladders."

What kind of sadist or pervert thought up high school coed swimming classes at the very beginning of the string bikini era?