Hot cougar sex! (adult women as crazed wildcats)

[katty]

Hot cougar sex!
A new reality show reminds us (again) that an adult woman with a libido is a crazed wildcat. What's so empowering about that?

By Rebecca Traister

more: http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2009/04/15/cougars_madness/

April 15, 2009 | A confession: I hate cougars. I hate the word "cougar." I hate the concept of cougars. I hate the new show "The Cougar."

This does not mean that I hate the solitary wild cat who feasts on deer, elk and sometimes armadillos, in regions across North and South America. Nor does it mean that I hate women who have sex with younger men. What I hate is the never-ending cutesy-pie conflation of the two.

Enthusiasm for the word "cougars" as applied to women, and not simply to high school football teams or John Mellencamp, seems to have begun around the millennium, with the 2001 publication of "Cougar: A Guide for Older Women Dating Younger Men," by Valerie Gibson. But the term caught fire in 2005, fueled by the marriage that year of then-42-year-old Demi Moore to then-27-year-old Ashton Kutcher.

Four years later we are still awash in knee-slapping, claw-bearing, never-gets-old cougar mania! Rowr!

In addition to the reality show "The Cougar," which premieres Wednesday on TV Land, Courteney Cox-Arquette has produced and stars in a pilot for an ABC sitcom called "Cougar Town." The independent film "Cougar Hunting," a comedy about young men chasing older women, was prevented from shooting at the Aspen courthouse because it was deemed too racy. "Cougar: A Guide for Older Women Dating Younger Men," was reissued in 2008, and has been joined on shelves by titles like "Cougars, Poptarts & One Night Stands: 101 Essential Wingman Tips" and "Hot Cougar Sex: Steamy Encounters With Younger Men." There are cougar hunters. There are cougar Web sites. There is a recurring "Saturday Night Live" skit called "Cougar Den" -- which always seems to star Cameron Diaz, whether or not she's the host -- in which hilariously menopausal but libidinous women act like ninnies in pursuit of Zac Efron, the Jonas Brothers and youth itself. There are also self-proclaimed professional cougars, women who are apparently just "smart, sexy, independent ... and proud to be over 40," whether or not they're jumping over couches to grab crotches.

There are people who seem to find the "cougar" thing liberating. Former Star editor Bonnie Fuller published a March entry on the Huffington Post called "Cougars And MILFs Rule! 40 Year-Old Women Are WAY Hotter Than 20 Year-Olds!"

[cali]

1. I'm with Rebecca. I hate it too. It's demeaning

and I spent 2 years in a relationship with a man 14 years younger than me (and I'd known him when he was a kid). I was 40. He was 26.

[katty]

11. wow,mine was only 10 yrs younger, but even in that there

was a distinct maturity difference, I had to break it off, had no patience with it after awhile-not interested in playing a 'mommy' role.

[cali]

14. My affair wasn't like that at all. He was a preternaturally old kid.

I knew him from the time he was 8 until he was about 13. Then his family moved away. I saw him from time to time, and then he moved back to the area and we ran into one another. We hung out for months before we got involved. It ended amically. Neither of us ever saw it as forever. I for sure didn't play a mommy role in the relationship.

[katty]

17. yes, i see-and

i found him wanting to trigger the mommy role (I never willingly do that)and I resisted, then confronted that and other issues-then I ended it.

[moez]

22. RRRRRarrrrrr!

:evilgrin:

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

2. I love my cougar wife

[mikeytherat]

12. I have one, too. They're the best!

mikey_the_rat

[MrCoffee]

3. It probably won't be as good as MILF Island.

20 MILFs, 50 eighth grade boys, no rules.

[WI_DEM]

9. 8th grade boys?

[rcrush]

20. It was a skit on 30 rock. It was damn funny.

[katty]

24. and FILF Island (why only MILF's?)

[underpants]

33. See that's what I'm saying!!

:bounce:

[Bucky]

4. I'm reporting you to the Moderators

This OP doesn't mention pirates or teabags. Clearly a violation of DU posting guidelines.

[katty]

6. whoops-sorry

[Taverner]

5. Thing is, it is much more of an archetype for teenage boys to fantasize about

Every teenager wants to be Ashton Kutcher

[truebrit71]

23. Hey I wouldn't mind being Ashton Kutcher either...

...

[dem629]

7. Sounds pretty good.

[Uncle Joe]

8. On the other hand at least the term "Cougar" in regards to older women doesn't carry

all the Greek Tragedy implications of Sugar Daddy.

[mitchum]

10. I dunno...see "The Roman Spring of Mrs Stone" for a pretty good modern rewrite...

from that perspective (older woman/younger man)

[katty]

13. yup,good dual star project for Ashton and Demi

[Uncle Joe]

16. I'm just referring to the words.

Hooking up with a Cougar sounds somewhat dangerous, whereas hooking up with a Sugar Daddy sounds somewhat incestuous.

[Arugula Latte]

15. My sister is mid-40s and really into being a cougar.

She has a boyfriend who is just a couple years younger ... big deal. Yet she talks incessantly about being a cougar, going to a "cougar bar," etc.

[mudesi]

18. Can You Women Make Up Your Damn Minds About Anything?

What is it already? Empowering or insulting?

Either you're OK with the world acknowledging your sexuality or you're not. Make up your minds and stop confusing the rest of us!

[rcrush]

21. lol

[antigone382]

25. OK, whenever we have our annual female-borg convention...

...we'll make sure that the "rest" of the "normal" people (men, of course), know what all women have collectively decided is acceptable.

Maybe you were being sarcastic; if so, then this isn't directed at you, but at the sentiment you are parodying...it's just fucking infuriating when men talk about how confusing women are, how impossible it is to figure out "what women want," without even considering the absurdity of reducing the various experiences, needs, and preferences of half the Earth's population into one or two key things. Women are like men: we're all individuals. For one woman the word cougar might be liberating; for another it might be insulting...having been generally viewed literally as chattel until the last hundred years or so (and even that's pretty much limited to more industrially developed cultures), it might take us some time to come to a grand unified conclusion on all aspects of our experience and identity. Adapt.

[omega minimo]

26. You're confused about a lot of things

[madmom]

19. My sister in law was a cougar, she was married 3 times. Now single, back

living with mom after filing bankruptcy. She has nothing. Nice life?

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

28. I don't see what being a cougar has to do with that

[madmom]

29. She spent everything she had on these younger men, then they left her, with nothing!

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

31. Well, that was dumb, but I still don't see what they has to do with being a cougar

[maxsolomon]

27. Out here in Washington State

Cougars are alumni of Washington State University in Pullman.

To "Coug It" means to fail utterly.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

30. I've noticed a number of cougars down at my local watering hole.

I've seen them stalking, sticking to the shadows, and hiding in booths before pouncing on their unsuspecting prey. They usually hunt in packs of two or three. They tend to go after the younger, more inexperienced members of the herd. Like most major predators, it will take them hours before a successful hunt, only scoring one kill in ten or twenty attempts.

[Matariki]

32. I hate guys like my coworker who are WAY older than they seem to realize

talking about 'cougars' and going to 'cougar bars'. A lot of nerve talking about women their same age being 'old'

[Matariki]

34. Actually - do you think it's empowering for men to be objectified?

for a change?

I remember a bunch of male friends of mine going to Burning Man for the first time. It seemed to give them, for the first time in their lives, the experience of being *seen* as a sexual being. Truthfully, they all seemed better for the experience.

edited for grammar and clarity.

[Lilith Velkor]

37. They seem to like it.

As to whether it's empowering or not, I don't believe they care.

[underpants]

35. The worst part is the Vivica A. Fox is going to overwhelm almost anyone they put on screen with her

Let the Cougars roar!!!

[carlyhippy]

36. Rats, I knew I was supposed to set the VDR for something tonight

was the show any good?

I am a reality show fan....I just finished rock of love bus, real housewives on Bravo, trying to decide if the cougar show is recording-worthy....