Preacher: These bands could make you gay

[donheld]

I don't think John Mayer is gay or even just a Republican. Does his music suck? Well... some people-- including straights and Democrats and independents-- love it. On the other hand, you probably never heard of Donnie Davies, who is gay (or was, if you believe the hype) and is a Republican and does suck; so does his music. That abysmal-sounding song I linked to back there includes the GOP-ish lyrics

Maybe they can use it at the Republican Convention in '08, especially if Brownback is still in the race. Davies is a big ole ugly self-loathing gay person who joined the religionist right and now claims to not be gay any more, just a gay-hater. He also hates pop music and claims it turns people gay. (Not sure how he feels about tofu.) So he put together a list of musicians whose songs could turn you gay and he includes Mayer as well as my pals Wilco and Lou Reed. Other artists who might turn you gay range from Elton John (a definite; one minute and you are a homosexual for life) to Frank Sinatra, Phish, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Metallica, Audioslave, Eminem, Nickleback (hmmm... maybe he has a point), Motorhead, Nirvana, Madonna, Kansas, Depeche Mode, the Scissor Sisters, Ted Nugent (aha! I knew that Rick Perry was trying to turn everyone in Texas into a gay Republican!), DMX, Jay-Z, Fischerspooner, Ravi Shankar, The Doors, Richard Cheese, the Velvet Underground, Judas Priest, Bjork, Bowie, maybe Morrissey, the Strokes... it goes on and on and gets sillier and sillier.

http://www.rawstory.com/showoutarticle.php?src=http%3A%2F%2Fdownwithtyranny.blogspot.com%2F2007%2F01%2Fchristian-rights-message-of-hatred-and.html

[yurbud]

1. judging from number of repubs who fall out of closet, sneezing or tying shoe can make you gay

Oxygen can also make them gay.

[yurbud]

3. that's funny--they mention ted nugent, but he's a republican

so even republicans make republicans gay.

[Kurovski]

2. Yes, but will they make me even gayer than I already am? I need an upgrade.

:shrug:

[yurbud]

5. some republicans could scare you straight. Imagine Karl Rove with a bottle of baby oil...

and nothing else.

[Kurovski]

11. It would take more than his greasy pink li'l button to get me off The Gay.

But I know what you mean.

[Swamp Rat]

7. Try some Tchaikovsky

He's MARVELOUS darling! :loveya: :D

[Kurovski]

9. Waltz of The Flowers

Thanks, Swampers!:loveya:

[Warren DeMontague]

17. I'd stick with Gay XP.

I don't think Gay Vista is really ready, yet.

[Kurovski]

32. But I didn't want to bend over backwards learning a new system.

Maybe I'll just re-read Quentin Crisp.

[OneBlueSky]

4. Ravi Shankar??? . . . n/t

.

[LTR]

10. Do they realize the birth rate in India?

Guess Ravi isn't doing his job.

[Monk06]

14. Ravi Shankar ??????? I'd love to see the reason for that one. How retarded can you get?

[Swamp Rat]

6. Motorhead? Metallica?? The Doors???

Ravi Shankar?????????????

This guy is NUTS!

[Warren DeMontague]

15. Perhaps the guy just can't resist a shirtless Jim Morrison stuffed into his Chinos.

You know, in the early days- before he really had to stuff himself into his chinos.

[LTR]

8. Too damn funny!

Damn, I was really missing these anti-rock fundies! Glad to see them back!

To analyze this list...

Most ridiculous names on list:

Ghostface Killah
The Doors
Metallica
The Rolling Stones
Jay-Z
Kansas
Eminmen
Nirvana
DMX
Ted Nugent (loincloth)
Frank Sinatra
Ravi Shankar
The String Cheese Incident
Phish
Motorhead
Audioslave
Wilco

Will merely prove you have no taste in music:

Hinder
Nickleback
Clay Aiken
Barry Manilow

As for the rest, sure, some of the artists listed are indeed gay or are bands with gay members. But as much Bob Mould and Husker Du that I've listened to over the past 2+ decades, it certainly did not turn me gay. Neither did Queen or Judas Priest.

All in all, I live for insipid lists like this. And this one is a killer. Imagine, listening to Frank Sinatra, Mororhead and Jay-Z will make you gay. And do these people realize how many people alive today were conceived to songs by The Rolling Stones or The Doors? Hell, I knew this one girl that liked to do it to Metallica!

Oh, the things I learn on DU.

:rofl:

Oh, and check out the 'safe' bands:

http://lovegodsway.org/SafeBands

Dresden Dolls
UnderOath
Cyndi Lauper
Falling Up
Flyleaf
THE TURNING
Disciple
P.O.D
Evanescence
By The Tree
Scott Reed
Michael W. Smith
Jars of Clay
DC Talk
Danielson

Uhhh... Cyndi FUCKING Lauper???

:wtf:

Guess they never heard "She-Bop". Not that there's anything wrong with it, but they need to at least be consistent.

[Chulanowa]

13. Cyndi and Evanescence?

But Bjork will give you the gay? I dunno how that works. Bjork gets me all warm...

[Homer Wells]

34. Cyndi's into Wrestling, don't ya know??

WWF-a truly manly(?) sport?

:crazy: :freak:

[rodeodance]

12. the sick part of this is that some people actually believe this nonsense!

[Warren DeMontague]

16. No R.E.M.??? You gotta be kidding me!

And what's up with this---

The Grateful Dead (AIDS)

So listening to the Dead won't make you gay, per se- but it will give you AIDS. Man, I must have a LOT of AIDS, by now. No one better tell Ann Coulter, I guess she's a Deadhead (we're all very, very embarrassed about it, too)

Speaking of Right Wingers: This cracked me right the fuck up-

Ted Nugent (loincloth)

Ahh, yes. Don't be fooled by his outspoken Republican Views; beware the Nuge's fearsome loincloth. Lurking under it is a bow-hunting talisman of unfathomable gay-making proportions.

All in all, the Nuge aside, there's probably some good bands in there I've never listened to. If this dude says they'll make me gay, perhaps I should give them a chance. Gay land, here I come!

[Clark2008]

25. OMG!!! My walls must have AIDS!!!

This is HUGH!!!! I SERIES!!!111!!1

I have The Who, Paul McCartney and the Grateful Dead posters on my home office walls! OMG!!! I'm going to cast asparagus at them!

(Of course, that might make my walls messy. Luckily, I plan on painting them green when I'm home on maternity leave this summer).

[TheBaldyMan]

18. he just listed everything on his iPod then started projecting

typical RWnuttery

[SalmonChantedEvening]

19. No mention of the Flaming Lips? JEEEEEZ

Ya figure that hadta be a gimme. :rofl:


Betcha Donnie's music makes you wish you had never gone to the store to begin with.

[Clark2008]

27. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the Flaming Lips

If I wasn't already pregnant with my husband's child, I'd be more than happy to have Wayne Coyne's baby.

[hatrack]

20. Obviously this guy has never heard of the Meatmen

From their classic disc "We Are The Meatmen And You Suck", it would only take one listen of songs like "Tooling for Anus" and "Orgy of One" for permanent conversion to occur.

[salin]

21. posters on the linked blog point out its Satire

from responses on the blog:

At 4:04 PM, Anonymous said...
this is a hoax

someone found the website of
actor/comedian Todd Quillan, who looks a helluva lot
like Donnie Davies. Here's the blog about it, with all
the incriminating links:

http://joemygod.blogspot.com/2007/01/donnie-davies-todd-quillen.html


At 4:08 PM, Barrelhse said...
Liberace?


At 5:00 PM, Anonymous said...
Of course it's a hoax. Merzbow? Morton Subotnick? Let's get real here.


At 5:23 PM, Anonymous said...
Not a hoax, not parody... it's called SATIRE.

[LTR]

31. Noooooooooooooo!

I want so much for this guy to be real.

We haven't had a really funny rock-hating fundie in a long time!

[Warren DeMontague]

35. Yeah, that "Ted Nugent (loincloth)" thing shoulda tipped me off.

But how can you tell satire from what the actual fundy nutcases believe; when shit like this:


http://answersingenesis.com

is for real?

[salin]

36. line is blurred at times

[sakabatou]

22. OH NOES

T3H GAY!

[zanne]

23. Is it like wearing yellow on Thursdays?

When I was in high school (60's), it was considered bad luck to wear yellow on Thursdays because it could make you gay.

[Clark2008]

26. I thought it was green on Fridays.

See, that must have changed in 20 years when I was in school in the 80s.

[zanne]

28. I think every school had a different color. nt

[tinfoilinfor2005]

29. Green on Thursdays in my school.

And eating green m&m's.

Combine those with an earring in your right ear and Shazam...you're gay!

[mitchum]

37. No, it's green on Thursdays!

[Clark2008]

24. OK - both my husband and me listen to most of those groups

and, judging by the fact that we're happily married and I'm pregnant, it would be a fair assumption that neither of us are gay.

God, these people are reaching, aren't they? :crazy:

[WinkyDink]

30. Dang; had to edit onaccounta I just read it was satire.

[donco6]

33. Kansas? That's pretty funny, considering . . .

the lead writer converted to fundie Christianity sometime in the early 80s. You can even hear some Christian themes in some of the later albums. Kerry Livgren