With all due apologies to Bob Dylan...

[derby378]

If you've seen this already, please bear with me - this is for the DU night owls who might get a chuckle out of this.

There was a Florida girl took a shine to me
In a little blue dress as cute as can be
She took my hand, I could see she was grievin'
Said "Five judges told me I must be leavin'
On a jet plane
For the Twin Towers
This is gonna hurt"

I was out there paintin' on the old woodshed
When a Koran fell and hit me on the head
Opened the cover and flipped the pages
Got jumped from behind and wound up in a cage
In a jumpsuit
Waterboarded
The pork was good, though

Came back home, and I fell asleep
Dreamed I was walkin' on a Baghdad street
When my Florida girl came from the riverbank
With purple fingers and an Abrams tank
I was runnin'
Through a Pizza Hut
Through the embassy
Through a KBR shower stall

Well, my telephone rang and it wouldn't stop
It's President Obama callin' me up
He said, "Hey, derby, how can this country stand tall?"
I said, "My friend, Barack, we need Kim Catrall
Bridget Marquardt
Angelina Jolie
Your wife's pretty hot, too"

Well, I got a woman with a gavel in hand
She says her favorite color's plaid
Whispers in my ear with frisky assurance
Tells me the kids need health insurance
We’re taxin' unions
We’re taxin' cigarettes
But not my Lamborghini

Man on the podium's talkin' to me
Says he's the new head of the GOP
Out there preachin' in front of the steeple
Tellin' me he loves all kinds of people
He's eatin' couscous
He's eatin' bagels
He's eatin' mole
He's servin’ bullshit

Oh, set me down in front of the screen
I'll flip the channel to two-nineteen
The gym is filled up with dodgeballin' clones
And they'll send me a card if I pick up the phone
Spaghetti Jimmy wins
Hey there, Jimmy, what I want to know is
What you're gonna do about AIG
Bank of America
Abusive debt collectors

Well, you ask me if there's still time to save
The land of the free and the home of the brave
You've got the hope, but I've got the audacity
My to-do list I pursue with tenacity
I chase DINOs
Make love to Lindsay Lohan
Catch hell from Samantha Ronson

:bounce::bounce::bounce: