Woman Injured in Power Tool Sex Toy Encounter

[Mugu]

By Matthew Stabley, NBCWashington.com


LEXINGTON PARK, Md. -- Some sexual experimentation landed a southern Maryland woman in a hospital with injuries tough to imagine and even more difficult to forget.

Maryland State Police airlifted the 27-year-old woman to Prince George's County Hospital Center early Sunday morning after she was injured in an incident involving a sex toy attached to a saber saw blade, TheBayNet.com first reported.

The man who called 911 about the incident admitted attaching the sex toy to the saw and then using the high-powered, homemade device on his partner, according to the St. Mary's County Sheriff's Office.

The saw cut through the plastic toy and wounded the woman, according to TheBayNet.com. The injuries were severe enough for medevac, but the woman was released from the hospital Monday and is recovering from her unusual injuries.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29621224">Complete article

[Wildewolfe]

1. that just doesn't bear too must thinking on...

[gcomeau]

2. From the article I'm assuming this was consentual...

...in which case if this keeps them from reproducing the gene pool will only improve. Stupidity that pronounced has to have a genetic component.

[guitar man]

8. if it took her out of the gene pool

it qualifies for a Darwin Award. :D

[TankLV]

65. should have left her in the car pool instead...

[Withywindle]

70. We feminists are making inroads everywhere!

Surely I'm not the only one to notice that women are sorely underrepresented as recipients of the coveted Darwin.

[guitar man]

3. !!

I know I probably shouldn't laugh but....

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

[madaboutharry]

4. Wow.

That is the stupidist thing I have ever read.

[DJ13]

5. Did you ever read McCain's platform?

:rofl:

[madaboutharry]

36. That is pretty funny!

Thanks for the laugh.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

6. He didn't remove the blade first?

[Lance_Boyle]

18. C'mon now - it takes ingenuity to attach a dildo to a sabersaw

without a blade. Much easier to just stab the blade into the dildo - badabing - instant reciprocating dildo. Nevermind that sawing action. What's the worst that could happen? Oh, right.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

23. Kids these days.

They just don't put pride and craftsmanship into their homemade electric sex toys.

Why, back in my day...

[AndyA]

7. Good grief!

What the hell is wrong with people today? :shrug:

[aikoaiko]

9. Saber saw ?!?!

oK, there is a joke involving the g-word (rhymes with stash) out there, but I'm not going to make it.

[dysfunctional press]

60. that's not a sabre-saw. that's a reciprocating saw.

if it was made by milwaukee, you could legally call it a sawzall.

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

10. "Hey, Loretta Sue, I got an idear..let's..an' pass me another beer."

[SacredCow]

11. It begs an answer.....

Just how drunk/high were they for that to seem like a good idea?

[guitar man]

15. meth and Jack Daniels

is a powerful combination :rofl:

[TankLV]

66. It begs the question - just how boring was their sex life?!!!

[Incitatus]

74. IDK. Most people pass out before they drink themselves that stupid.

They must not be too bright when sober.

[Belial]

12. Holy Crap.. I though we only did stupid shit like that here in the

south... OUCH!!!

[Blue_Tires]

38. St. Mary's County along with Southern Md. is just as redneck-y as most red areas...

[LibertyLover]

41. As a resident of Anne Arundel county

the first thing I thought of when I saw the words "southern Maryland" was it had to be in St. Mary's county.

[TankLV]

67. I don't think she had a red neck after that....

but I'm just guessing here...

[lumberjack_jeff]

13. The line between "a good idea" and "it seemed like a good idea at the time"...

... can be easy to miss.

:yoiks:

[Myrina]

14. Reminds me of that scene in SEVEN.

:scared:

"... There is also a receipt from a custom leather-goods fetish shop for an item that winds up being used in the murder of said prostitute; ( LUST is written on the door outside a murder scene where a frantic man with a serrated weapon covering his penis was forced to copulate with a bound working girl .."


:scared:

[derby378]

21. I never could figure out what that was...

...but his agonic wail of how he was forced to penetrate her almost made me curl up in the fetal position. Almost.

[myrna minx]

35. That's what I thought of too.

:scared:

[Mother Of Four]

16. ....

You know how in movies, when a guy jumps over a log or a fence and jacks himself up in the groin all the men clutch and groan? Now I know how they feel, that hurts just thinking about it.

[Hekate]

73. oooooh yeah

... this is nightmarish ..... and stupid past belief

:wow:

Hekate

[derby378]

17. There's a niche porn market devoted to this sort of thing

I'm referring to machines specifically built for women to engage in coitus with. Yeah, I know, it probably sounds utterly ridiculous to you, but apparently there's a market for watching these custom-built machines do what no human male ever could.

Whatever happened to "Do not try this at home?"

I'm glad she's recovering, but this is a Darwin Award waiting to happen.

[BreweryYardRat]

29. I've seen some porn in that style.

Nothing related to an electric saw was EVER used. These two were too stupid even to try learning from the "professionals."

[ozu]

53. There are attachments

There are attachments specifically made to fasten a dildo onto a reciprocating saw, without having to use the actual blade. (The internet rules).

These people were obviously not using one of them.

[TankLV]

69. Isn't that what the "Snap On Tools" company is all about?

[luvspeas]

19. I'll bet a thousand bucks they were videotaping it too.

People that stupid love to share.
:spank: :dunce: :spank: :dunce: :spank: :dunce: :crazy:

[liberal N proud]

20. That has to be filed under the What were you thinking category

[NOW tense]

22. "no horse play with power tools"

that's what my shop teacher used to tell me.

[Lost in CT]

24. This reminds me of that X-rated Home Improvement

[libodem]

25. Those damn Republicans

like it rough.

[billyoc]

26. All the good ones are taken.

Sigh.

[Wickerman]

27. I wonder if her health plan covers that?

:yoiks:

[Deep13]

28. "...attached to a saber saw blade..."

Things not to use on ones naughty bits:

1. Saber saw blade...

[charlie and algernon]

30. here is said Saber Saw

[NYC_SKP]

31. Happened to me once, reciprocating saw. "Sawzall" by Milwaukee Tools.

Top quality, varable speed, 13 amps, power to spare.

And you don't have to pretend you like it. :P

[MineralMan]

32. Turn off that fucking machine!

It has a different ring to it now...

[Wapsie B]

33. Ok, sex machines, fine and dandy. Can be pretty hot if people know what they're doing.

But with a saw blade attached? :eyes:

[QueenOfCalifornia]

34. I wasn't going

to click on this OP but curiosity made me do it.

WTF!

I mean

:wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf:
"Investigators talked to the woman, who told them she suffered the injuries during a consensual act and that she and her partner were trying something new, the sheriff's office said."

Trying something new????

My idea of trying something new is ordering the mussels on the menu once in a while....

[FloridaJudy]

37. You sure they weren't Floridians?

Most of the insanely dangerous sexual experiments seem to happen here...like the guy who tried to mate with a swimming pool pump.

Oh wait! Wasn't picnic table guy from Ohio?

[BreweryYardRat]

43. Wait, I think I remember that "swimming pool pump" incident.

Didn't it give him a penile degloving? In non-technical terms, that translates to "didn't it rip all the skin off his dick?"

[sandyj999]

39. And I read last week that a man was arrested for indecent exposure.

For "having his way" with the vacuum at the do it yourself car wash. It happened somewhere in Michigan. These bad times are making people try strange things.

[Myrina]

40. OMFG.

Getting a blow job from a power vac? Zoinks!!

:wow: :wtf:

[FloridaJudy]

45. Yeah. I always wondered

About that "able to suck the chrome off of a trailer hitch" boast about women who are orally gifted. I wouldn't want any part of my body coming into contact with something like that, let alone one that I was particularly fond of.

[dustbunnie]

46. Has nothing to do with bad times. Stuff similar to this has been recorded since time immemorial.

How many times has it been in the news that someone got thrown into the clink for having his way with the umbrella hole in the picnic table out back? Neighborhood animals? Portnoy's Complaint dealt with grocery items. Nothing new here. Happens in times of prosperity as well as recession.

[sandyj999]

50. That it was just an added comment but not a serious one. n/t

[dustbunnie]

51. Sorry.

:D

[sandyj999]

54. That's Okay n/t

:)

[Solly Mack]

42. I like a little vroom vroom in my zoom zoom but "It slices! It dices!"

isn't exactly the selling point I'm looking for...

[dustbunnie]

44. I wonder if he was dressed up as a construction worker while this was going on.

Guess tool labels from here on in will have to include disclaimers.

This goes right up there with the NASA employee who died after his encounter with an Arabian stallion and the woman who had a hairspray can imbedded in her backside.

[FloridaJudy]

48. Supposedly it's already occured - in Sweden

I tried checking this one out with Snopes, but it's not on the site. So the usual disclaimer against believing everything you read on the Internet applies.

http://mistupid.com/people/warnings.htm

[BlooInBloo]

47. Unable to reproduce? This could be a Darwin Award!

[ColbertWatcher]

49. This is the kind of thing that happens when sex toys are outlawed.

Please, people, leave the sex toy manufacturing to the professionals.

Sincerely,
The San Fernando Valley, Porn Capital of the World.

[Ezlivin]

52. That explains the new section at Home Depot

Go back to aisle 69 and tell me what you find.

It ain't a plunger, mate.

[jmowreader]

55. Google "fucksall"

They don't leave the teeth on the blades when they make these. Someone apparently forgot that step.

[MrSlayer]

56. What kind of idiot leaves the blade on?

This is one of the stupidest things I've ever heard.

[TankLV]

71. You mean you - nevermind - I don't want to know...

[HooptieWagon]

57. That reminds me of an old limerick...

There was an old gal from Mobile,
who had a cunt made of steel.
She got her thrills
from pneumatic drills,
and an off-centered emery wheel.

[lame54]

58. I've heard of screwing and hammering...

but sawing doesn't sound fun to me

[marshall]

59. So I guess they'll have to amend the safety labels now

Warning: do not saber saw or anything attached to it in vagina. Could cause pain or discomfort.

[47of74]

68. That or they'll have a picture like this on the packaging or manuals....

[ddeclue]

61. Where's Jeff Foxworthy when you need him: "You might be a redneck if..."

you hook up your sex toys to your shop toys...

:rofl:

[Enrique]

62. that's hot n/t

[LisaL]

63. If she had used the power saw device on him, he might have

ended up not interested in sex at all.

[eppur_se_muova]

64. "admitted attaching the sex toy to the saw "-- what a man won't do for the woman he loves.

:loveya:

[Naturyl]

72. Wow... I'm sorry she was injured, but...

Good grief, how dumb was this? What on earth are some people thinking?

[Deja Q]

75. Next time, use a jackhammer.

:eyes:

Or a power drill; let it spin around in circles instead.

This is too freakin' bizarre.