What do you think is the funniest Christmas episode/line on TV?

[rpannier]

Mine is from Married with Children

Al is dressed as Santa Claus and the child he is talking with has just finished telling "Santa" all the bad things his parents have said about the Bundy's and Al says, "Well, Santa is going to get you that pony. And if you wake up on Christmas day and there's no pony that means your daddy killed it and took it away."

I still laugh every time I think of that line

[TheCowsCameHome]

1. Not something I've seen, but Billy Mays being trampled by a herd of reindeer

would be a good start.

[Dennis Donovan]

2. ...or if he was asphyxiated by his "Just For Men" beard coloring solution.

:evilgrin:

[stanwyck]

15. Curb Your Enthusiasm. Funniest Christmas show ever

The episode when Larry eats the baby Jesus manger scene Christmas cookie "I thought it was a zoo. I thought he was a monkey."
To atone, he hires a live nativity scene for his front yard. When Cheryl and her family drive up to the house, Larry is down on the ground wrestling Jesus after Larry's suggestive remarks about Mary.

[charlyvi]

3. From A Christmas Story.....

The narrator talking about how his old man could swear....

"He worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It was his true medium; a master."


Okay. It's two lines.

[eleny]

4. Written and narrated by Jean Shepherd

[MazeRat7]

12. Mine too... that very thing has been said about me when plumbing repairs were underway...n/t

[KittyWampus]

5. all time funniest? Mr Bean with the turkey on his head >>>>>>

[Sedona]

6. No one can resist my Schwety Balls

-Alec Baldwin

[yellowdogintexas]

7. Hands Down, 'The Christmas Lunch Incident" from The Vicar of Dibley.

howlingly funny.

[susanna]

8. OK, it's a movie, but they play it on TV 'round this time of year...

Scrooged, to be precise. A worker on the set of a live TV production of A Christmas Carol is lamenting that he can't get the antlers to stick to the doormouse for the show (long story in and of itself), so far as to say, "I've tried Crazy Glue, but nothing seems to work."

Bill Murray (as Frank Cross) answers - utterly straight - "Have you tried staples?" I do not know why, but that one gets me every time. And I must confess that that movie is my family's secret holiday tradition. We've watched it every single year we have been together since the late 1980s. We know it by heart. :-)

I lost count of how many great lines Carol Kane has in the same movie (as the Ghost of Christmas Future), but "What have we here? A toaster?!" as she hits Bill Murray with it ranks pretty high, too.

on edit: smilie issue

[REP]

9. "Is there anything sadder? Only drowning puppies. And there'd have to be a lot of them."

He knows when you are sleeping.
He knows when you're on the can.
He'll hunt you down and blast your ass
From here to Pakistan. Oh...
You better not breathe
You better not move
You're better off dead,
I'm tellin' you, dude.
Santa Claus is gunning you down!

Futurama - "Xmas Story." A tradition at my house.

[peekaloo]

10. The Simpsons Christmas ep when Bart burns down the tree and all their presents.

He tries to make amends by reminding everyone of the true meaning of Christmas, "the birth of Santa". I believe this ep also inroduced the term "craptacular", which was Bart's description of Homer's light display.

[catnhatnh]

11. Well as they say in "Clue"...

...the cat, under the chair, with the Christmas Lights...National Lampoon's "Christmas Vacation". When I see that charred outline I laugh until I have tears in my eyes...

[walldude]

13. South Park Spirit Of Christmas:

"Dude, don't say pigfucker in front of Jesus!" :rofl:

[DutchLiberal]

14. Yeah, that one is great! I love 'Married with Children'.

You should have told WHY he's dressed as Santa: the 'other' Santa dropped dead from an airplane into his back yard! :rofl:

Mine is from season 8 of MwC: 'The worst Noel', just because it manages to be entertaining just by having Al and Peg arguing over what to watch on tv:

(Announcer: ) "The Black Entertainment Channel presents: It's A Malcolm... X-mas!"

"A&E, the Art & Entertainment Channel, presents: It's A Hitler Christmas!"

The 2-parter from season 4 is pretty hilarious, too, with Bundy's alternative version of 'The night before Christmas':

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUdTHLeu9qE

My favorite Christmas movie is probably Die Hard! It *is* a Christmas movie; it takes place during a christmas party! And they play "Let it snow" during the end credits! B-)

I'm also a sucker for 'Guess who's coming to Christmas?', a season 2 episode of Happy Days, in which Fonzie has nobody to celebrate Christmas with, and pretends he has as to not lsoe face with Richie.

To get in the mood, I also watch Mickey's Christmas carol every year. Can you watch the intro song and say you're *not* in the mood?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3iDLKzs5AtA

[gratuitous]

16. Family Guy episode

Lois is knocking herself out to get the house ready for Christmas, and nobody is helping just making more demands. She finally snaps and goes on this great rant that begins:

"You all think Christmas just happens! Well, it doesn't just fall out of the sky! It falls out of my holly, jolly butt!"