Southern Sheriff Pulls Over Obama Campaign Bus For Broken Taillight

[DainBramaged]

FOXWORTH, MS—Despite obeying the posted speed limit and having all inspection, registration, and insurance documentation up to date, Sen. Barack Obama's campaign bus was stopped for nearly four hours by Marion County deputy sheriff Dewey Clutter while en route to a Jackson, MS speech, sources reported Tuesday.

According to those on board the bus—including various journalists, members of the Secret Service, and Obama campaign staffers—several minutes passed before Clutter exited his cruiser. Witness statements all mention hearing the sheriff's jackbooted footsteps along the gravel roadside as he slowly approached the vehicle's passenger side. These reports also assert that, prior to reaching the front of the campaign bus, the sheriff paused momentarily to smash the right rear taillight of the bus before dragging his still-drawn baton along the entire length of the vehicle.

"Where's the fire, son?" Clutter, 42, was overheard saying to the Illinois senator and 2008 Democratic presidential nominee. "Driving like that in these parts, what with a busted taillight and all, fella like you liable to get hisself into a whole mess a trouble."

Obama protested briefly before Clutter interrupted the graduate of Columbia University and Harvard Law School, brusquely informing the senator that he could "detain uppity ass for 48 hours without charging with shit."


http://www.theonion.com/content/news/southern_sheriff_pulls_over_obama

[Liberal_in_LA]

1. ya fooled me for a second

[DainBramaged]

2. heheheheheeheeeee

[lligrd]

3. Scared Me For A Second LOL nt

[DainBramaged]

4. It's what happens when you can't sleep, you read too much......

[tavalon]

5. That's not nearly as funny as it oughta be

[Alpharetta]

20. agreed. was hoping for funny, got the bleh instead. n/t

[Beregond2]

6. Uh...

for people my age, that really isn't funny yet...

[Contrary1]

7. No way would Obama be on a bus in Texas...

He's due here in Indy in about 8 hours.

:spank:

[tuvor]

8. The headline alone turns me off of reading the rest of the satire.

Not one of The Onion's finer moments.

[Selatius]

9. This article would be funny to me if it weren't for the fact that I live in Mississippi.

When you live it, it isn't funny at all, given the appallingly painful past Mississippi has.

[quickesst]

10. Again...just pathetic

Seems democrats in the south are being thrown under that bus, but that's ok, we'll still turn out for Obama despite the efforts here and elsewhere to alienate us from the Democratic Party. The thread on the greatest page acknowledging the efforts of dems in the south was heartening, but threads like this make a mockery of such efforts. Perhaps the stereo-typical south bashers would like us to vote for Obama, but only if we do it under the cover of night, lest we "taint" the good north, east, and west name of the Democratic Party. I suppose a lot of people missed the thread with all the recs for southern democrats, but let me say, it is an uplift to see so many who are not ashamed, and do not attack southerners with a broad brush, and sacrifice southern dems in order to make sure they get all the freepers. The "kill'em all, let god sort them out" rhetoric is not only disgusting, but shows a side of some democrats that is better kept to themselves. Funny that when racism rears it's ugly head anywhere but the south, it is kept in the context of one, or a group of individuals from that area, but when it rears it's head in the south, it's the entirety of that region who is racist according to some. The civil war ended a long time ago, and most of us are glad the secession did not work. Just as the attacks on Clinton supporters using the broad brush to paint them all as PUMA failed miserably, the campaign against southern democrats will fail also, simply because there are a lot more competent, compassionate, and logical dems than not. I usually close my posts with a thanks, but in this case, I see nothing to be thankful for.
quickesst

[14thColony]

18. Hear hear!

Well stated.

[ColbertWatcher]

11. That picture is so fake, hurr, hurr. n/t

[TheUnspeakable]

12. This one was funnier.."Bush Calls For Panic"

My fellow Americans, the time for running aimlessly through streets while shrieking and waving our arms above our heads is now," Bush said. "I understand that many of you are worried about your economic future and our situation overseas, and you have every right to be. Yet there is only one thing we as a nation can do in times like these: give up all hope and devolve into a lawless, post-apocalyptic, every-man-for-himself society."

"For those of you who have remained resolute in your belief that things will turn around eventually, I urge you to close your eyes, take shallow rapid breaths, and begin freaking out immediately," Bush added. "At this point, anyone who isn't scared to death needs to wake the fuck up—because we're screwed here."

[mmonk]

13. Got to love it. Too funny.

[DainBramaged]

15. I thought so. Tough crowd here though tough crowd

[mmonk]

16. Lol.

[SmokingJacket]

19. I used to live in the South in the 1990's, and this happened to me.

I was with my boyfriend who had a license plate from a northern state. It was a Sunday, and he was apparently speeding -- by no more than five miles an hour over the speed limit. The cops pulled us over and made us drive to the station and demanded $150 in cash. No, a check was no good, because it was Sunday and the bank was closed. If we didn't have the cash (and we didn't!) my boyfriend would have to spend the weekend in jail!!

Well, I finally convinced them to let me go and find an ATM machine to get out the money.

Honestly, it was like being kidnapped.

It might not be politically correct to say so, but there are parts of the South that are like this.

To clarify: I DO think it's funny -- it has a grain of truth...

And I also think that Southern Liberals are awesome and hardcore!

[proud2BlibKansan]

14. LOL

I get The Onion podcasts. Too funny.

[jberryhill]

17. "Campaigning While Black"

Big problem down there.

[machI]

21. I'm sorry, I am just unable to find humor in this today

Looks like it is going to be one of those debate to the death days at the water cooler.